The earth is still rotating, the sun is still shining, the birds are all still chirping.

And I'm still crying.

A lot can happen in a month

but I never expected this.

Move on already, everybody says.

They don't get it.

They don't get how moving on is not easy when the memories of us are stuck on replay in my head. All I think about is your smile, your bright eyes, and how happy you made me. They don't get that you're a tattoo and not a stain. When the weather gets too cold, I find myself searching for your arms instead of the coats in my wardrobe. It's like you're made out of drugs; I keep going back to you again and again even though the thought of you, you, and you drives me insane.

They told me to stop crying. They told me to smile:  because you appeared in my life and brought so much joy to it.

But that's why I'm crying.

Because I'm standing here and you're gone.

People always wonder when will the world end.

I have no idea about them but I know mine ended when you left.

It ended with a loud bang; with blood splattering all over the broad and hysterical screams could be heard from all directions. It ended with helpless weeps and prayers.

It ended when your heart stopped beating.

People say you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

Truth is, you know what you have, you just never thought that you'd lose it so easily.

When you were pronounced dead, I swear I will never forget how everything around me froze and went quiet yet I still heard my heart crack so tragically in the middle of the ghostly white hallway outside the emergency room.

I know letting go is so much easier than holding onto someone that isn't real anymore. I know letting go would stop hurting me. I know letting go should be my decision.

But I can't, I can't, I can't.

Sadness takes over me and I can only describe the feeling as homesick. I'm so homesick for you.

When I close my eyes, all I see is you. You appear in my every dream and nightmare.

Every time I try to move on, you're there.

Then memories start piercing my heart and mind, both good and bad ones. The thought of you and us floods my mind again and I'm always drowning in them.

If I had known that was going to be our last kiss, I would have held on a little longer.

As I looked back on our last moment together, I laughed feeling sad.

Yet with all these pain and suffering I'm going through, I'm still scared of moving on. Because that would mean that I'm over you, and I don't want that to ever happen. It was you who taught me that love does not exist only in fairy tales, it was you who constantly made me smile even during my worse days. It was you who annoyed the hell out of me but made me feel like the luckiest person at the same time.

It was you - who made my knees weak by just saying my name.

When we got our first pair of rings, you put mine on while swearing that you will love me till forever stops existing, you'll love me till death do us part.

Does this mean you've stopped loving me?

hello all!! here's an update because i got sick of studying and needed a break. i hope this chapter made you real sad heh ok see u guys next time thank u for reading!! <3 comments and subscriptions are greatly appreciated :3