The studio was a long 4 hour drive. Shownu had a hard time staying awake when someone on his lap was to warm. He felt like he was hugging a small marshmallow. He tried to stay alert but his body was slowly betraying him. 

His eyes where slowly closing and his effort to stay awake was thrown out the window. Shownu had no choice when his eyes finally closed .Because no matter how much he wanted to pray it open nothing happened.

The long hour drive was like riding this cotton candy cloud. Every bump they experience was like a feathers kiss across their body. The way they snuggled deeper to each others embrace was just heavenly.

Shownu slowly looked more relaxed and his body took over for him. He snuggled deeper in Kihyun's neck while Kihyun did the same. If they could be molded together then in no time they would have succeeded.

Click

Click

Click

"Stop taking pictures of them..."

"We need to wake them up."

"I can't do this."

"You do it."

"He will be mad at me."

"We will be late."

"But look at them." 

"He will have an Omma fit when he finds out."

There was this strange yet familiar voice at the background. Shownu wanted to prolong this heavenly dream. But their was this muffled voice slightly waking him up.

"His going nag us if we don't."

"Besides we still have Shownu hyung..."

"Appa won't like..."

"Awwww..."

Shownu wanted to block them out then he saw this pillow appear in front of him. He quickly grabbed it and he buried his face deeper in this warm pillow. He felt at peace once again but then this small pillow started squirming for no reason.

"Yah...Jooheon look."

"His hold..."

"No Appa be gentle."

Shownu heard this small squeak and he gently shaked his pillow. He heard another sqeak when he tried to hit it again. A few minutes of trying to find the squeaking toy that may be inside the pillow he heard something else. Shownu heard this faint whimper and he can't help but feel guilty.

"Wonho help me pull them apart."

"IM try to hold his arm."

"Yah...How can we pull them apart when their practically glued together...?"

"Did you just say Yah! IM..."

"Sorry hyung."

The noise was making his head ache and then he saw his pillow transformed into a shape. It was taking shape of some inflated object. Shownu waited patiently before it finally took form of...

"Kihyun...?"

The scene infront of him started to spiral into darkness. His once peacefully cloudy dream was replaced by darkness and then he felt like their was an approaching danger. Shownu was helplessly looking at this dark shadows slowly approaching Kihyun.

"You go left..."

"Ok I'll go right."

"Be ready."

"Ok in the count of 3."

"Haannnnnna..."

"Duuuuuulllll..."

"Se..."

It was like a lions roar but it was just a loud groan. Everyone in the van froze up because they were all faced with Shownu's terrifying face. No one has every seen him look this angry. No one actually believed he can look angry or he knows how to make that kind of expression.

Shownu didn't know why but when he saw this shadows only inches away from Kihyun. He snapped and he quickly grabbed a hold of Kihyun. He was on overprotective bear mode. Shownu felt his adrenaline pumping but when he did, his eyes also snapped open.

Shownu was holding Kihyun so close that no one can see his face. The scene in front of him was very strange. Wonho had his hands close to touching Kihyun's shoulder while Jooheon was about to reach out for Shownu. 

Minhyuk was just by the open window while I'M was at the door. Everyone was looking stiff and they had different expressions. Wonho and Jooheon were sweating and they looked very pale than normal. The two outside look like they saw a ghost but they had the same deep emotion written all over their faces. They all looked scared and Shownu saw them flinch when he raised his eyebrow.

Shownu didn't know why they looked so scared. He wanted to reach out for them but he immediately stopped. He felt this weight on top of him and he was trapped. He slowly looked down seeing this body curled up against him. He wanted to check if who this person was but then he stared to move.

It happened like slow motion because it was like seeing an egg hatch. With a few toss and turn he finally accomplished to sit up. He was rubbing his eye's still trying to wake up. Shownu's lungs just gave up on him when he saw this incredibly fluffy scene.

He did know how long he was holding his breath but that small gaze made his face turn purple and blue. Kihyun might not know it yet but he can kill people with one eye and Shownu was his first victim. 

Everyone was dead silent because they didn't have the guts to ruin this adorable scene. Shownu held his breath and he didn't even blink but his face was still snarling.

It was bad enough that he looked at everyone in the room but he even tilted his head. If you haven't seen a chubby hamster tilt its head then you have a sad life. Shownu was at the very edge of fainting and yet he held his ground.

"Hyung...?" Kihyun was still half a sleep but the person he directly looked at was Shownu. It may be the worst hit Showu has ever endured. The way Kihyun's voice was a bit deep but the way he called him was just a above a whisper. Shownu can never forget this moment because Kihyun looked and sound vulnerable.

When Kihyun finally got a good look at Shownu's expression he panicked. Shownu saw the way Kihyun's half a sleep face turned into a very alert one. He couldn't help but raise his eyebrow and yet this only made things worst. Kihyun then leaned away from Shownu's hold.

Everyone was scared to death by know but Shownu still doesn't know why. He looked at everyone seeing that they had a very pale complexion. He then stared back at Khiyun who had his eye's wide open as if he was both sacred yet he was shocked at the same time.

The way he looked deep in Kihyun's eyes he saw a reflection. It was a reflection of someone with this nasty look. This time Shownu was alert and yet he still doesn't know why this other person have this furious expression. He wanted to look behind him but then he finally realize who this person was.

Shownu slowly adjusted his facial expression by pulling his eyebrows from scrunching together. He then tried to shake off this deadly gaze he was giving everyone. The last thing he did was close his mouth because he was baring his gritted teeth to everyone.

"Oh Sorry..."

Sigh

The great thing about Monsta X was the special bond they have. After Shownu let loose they all started to laugh it off. Kihyun on the other hand did the same while he got off Shownu's lap. No one minded the earlier scene but Shownu felt his heart being stabbed.

Everyone continued to laugh while they were getting out of the Van. One person stayed behind when they walked off. He was the only person that didnt find their situation funny. Shownu was still dazed sitting at the back seat of his once most memorable moment. He stayed behind so he can calm his beating heart.

He felt hurt when that small moment felt like his first ever real chance. It felt like he was in this infinite moment were he felt happy. But we all know we can never live in that moment forever so when they started to laugh. It was if someone ate away this perfect cake he cherished the most.

Shownu looked broken and yet he managed to have this blank expression. In all the years he met Kihyun he developed this habit of pulling out his blank or dazed expression. He knew that he needed to change but this feelings inside him had a mind of its own.

"Let's  Go."

Shownu slowly lifted his head and he saw this bright smile on Kihyun's face. He may never have that moment with Kihyun again but he doesn't have the heart to ruin everything especially that bright smile.He looked so happy and it only made Shownu's heart feel heavy. 

He quickly stood up and he slowly exited the Van. When his foot finally hit the pavement floor he didn't bother to look at Kihyun. No words decribe this feeling of relief when Kihyun didn't question his actions. 

The walk to the studio was peaceful and they didn't want to change anything. Kihyun was relaxed and he looked like he was enjoying this clam atmosphere between them. Shownu on the other hand may look relaxed but his mind and his heart was freaking out. Every step he took was just adding more weight on his shoulders.

Shownu felt something stab his heart when he saw Kihyun's peaceful expression. He regretted seeing him happy because the person that might ruin that smile was just walking beside him. Shownu then looked straight ahead and his mind was filled with this horrible thoughts.

You looked so happy.

I wish I could see that peaceful face of yours everyday.

I wish that I could wake up seeing that same expression earlier. 

I really wish...

I was the reason for that smile.

I can't help but wonder if you found out the truth about me...

Will you still have that calm expression?

Will you still want someone like me standing by your side?

Will you still treat me like a friend?

Or will you run away and hate me?

I could never understand how it stared...

But I could never get rid of it.

I may look strong but no matter what I do...

I will always be weak when it comes to you.

If I could change then...

I would do it...

If it mean I could just stand next to you.

"Still sleepy?"

Kihyun didn't look at Shownu nor did he stop walking. Shownu didn't reply at first because he was to busy looking at Kihyun relaxed expression. The way Kihyun's face glowed really made Shownu's heart stop. He can't help but give out this bitter smile when Kihyun wasn't looking.

I don't want you to stop smiling.

I don't ever want to see you look at me differently.

I just want you to remember me as just your awkward friend.

It might get hurt in the end but it's better this way.

I will just have to count every moment I have with you.

All I need is for you to stay by my side.

"Yeah..."

NOTE : This one is bit short because I just wanted to get this done. This is not my best work but it has the main idea. The next chapter will be a good angst because the goal of this story is to make everything bitter sweet. Expect a few depressing scene and a few side stories of my other ships.

P.s I'm going to make another one shot now.

P.P.s I tried my best to update this even though I have a different story I'm still trying to finish.