04. first step depression
Their no born baby....
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- give me the password
Jiyong looked at her and quickly looked away
- I do not know if….
- oppa give me the damn password, my fans also need me
Jiyong looked at her nervously
- if I still have some gizibe ...
She murmured very low but not that much to avoid jiyong to hearing it
jiyong actually smiled, the public reaction form day to day was getting better and better
- is a combination of our dates of birth
And then ran to the door
- combination ?! Yah yah yah! Oppaa !!!
Harin from the other side of the room laughed for the first time since she heard the news
- yah why are you laughing?
- you two are very cute and look at you!
Chaerin looked at her sister and she swear she could almost see hearts coming out of her eyes
- Harin, do you have any idea what it might be?
- Why would I know? So good luck
She got closer and kissed chaerin's cheek
After half an hour playing with her phone
26 8 9188
click
finally!!!
But she was afraid now that she could see the truth with her eyes she was afraid
Jiyong came back in that moment with some food
- ypu got it?
She smiled with a warm smile
- Yes ....
Chaerin looked at the phone and looked back at jiyong
- I think it can wait and before I can eat something ....
Jiyong smiled again, he knew that her main motive was fear but he was glad that her appetite had returned at least for a moment
He enjoyed it while he watched her eat, it was a relief since last night he had not been able to remove the enormous anguish of the chest
Jiyong did not know if chaerin remembered since it moved between the reality and the dream
But she cried without stopping until the pillow ended completely wet
Whispering over and over again
my baby my baby
They called the doctor and this one to the emergency psychologist who sedated her to relax her
And confirmed what jiyong already imagined shock and stress from miscarriage plus the serious feeling of guilt she felt when she did not realize that she was pregnant
He supposed he should mention it but .... Was the best time now? Too many things were happening .... But jiyong decided that lying was his worst option
-chae….
-mh?
- do you remember your dream of last night?
Chaerin looked at him surprised and jiyong knew that she remembered everything, he almost sigh of relief when her eyes began to fall silent tears
- I made a lot of scandal apparently ...
- that's not true chae ... it's just that ....
he sat on the bed and leaning on her dry off her tears
- The doctor called the psychologist .... Is nothing out of the ordinary but .... I did not think it was right thing to hide you ...
-thank you…. like always… thank you oppa… can you… just leave for a second please…?
chaerin couldn’t denied the fact that she cried when hours laters jiyong came back
he didn’t know how to start a conversation with her so he just let the minutes go on…
big mistake
when the doctor came back chaerin didn’t talk she just kept looking between the doctor jiyong and harin
but no one single word left
the doctor didn’t said that much to jiyong
-just give her some time…. but just… never make her think that you left her side, don’t be overprotective but… keep an eye on her i think the best for her is to be in home… we need to be the most quiet for the people outside but… i don’t see another option….
days came and leave and chaerin didn’t talk, she let jiyong know what she wanted it by signs and no one day left her side without her to know
his trips were only for work, japan… taiwan… concert here and there
hours and hours at the studio and the rehearsals and at the end always at home with her
they weren’t a couple even if it was that what the press made public
they sleep at the same bed only if chaerin needs something each ones at the other side, never touching each other
jiyong missed chaerin voice, he missed his friend he was so broke up that he only went here and there following the routine
when he got home he didn’t even ate something he just went up to bed climb behind chaerin and went to sleep
hours later he wake up for the lighting going out from the TV his own concert with his band he found out
chaerin was there, close to the TV, sitting on the bed crying in silence
he was afraid as
what was now…? nightmare? baby?
it was then at that exact moment when he knew chaerin was something more than just his best friend
her voice came out broke, but clear
-i want that…. i miss that…..
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