sincerely yours by minderaser



Criticism Level: 10

Title: 1/5
It is a relatively plain title and reveals nothing much about the story. I can guess that it is somewhat about romance... but still, it's way too vague. I guess it's somewhat relevant... It's short and sweet which is a plus factor, but if you want your title to be uniquely your story, I'd advise you to have a more original and eye-catching title which gives the readers some insight of the story, yet at the same time, does not reveal too many details. An example can be Smitten With Her. (ehh, a somewhat horrible example, sorry D:)

Description & Foreword: 9/10
I like your description and foreword - they're relevant and do not reveal too much or too little. I feel that they are intriguing but only if the formatting is better. Perhaps you can make the font size bigger rather than make the text bold so that the text will stand out more.

Characters: 15/20
Admittedly, I don't really know the characters well enough to judge this yet, maybe because you're still at the early chapters. I find Myungsoo an interesting character though; he seems to be a pretty short-tempered and obsessive person in the inside, yet like a calm and nice person on the outside. I'm still wondering what Bora's personality is. She seems like a typical teenage girl when I read the first chapter, but she doesn't show any prejudicedness (she's being relatively kind to Myungsoo, and usually people tend to be a little biased towards such people, sadly). I also wonder why Myungsoo likes her. (I suppose it is admiration however, it doesn't seem like they've interacted very much beforehand). I'd advise you to show more of their emotions and feelings... it'll help a lot on defining the characters' personalities. All in all, I am enticed to know more about your characters (Myungsoo in particular).

Plot: 15/20
I wouldn't say that it is a very original plot, but it has something intriguing in the story which is also partly due to the characters. One thing; why is Myungsoo able to attend a normal school? Is it because he is smart, or are there any other reasons? Other than that, I'm okay with the plot, and it's actually pretty ironic how Bora treats Myungsoo so kindly yet treats his letters like trash (I think it's normal for her to react like this, though. I mean, she is receiving letters from an unknown person... I'd be surprised if she happily reads them.) It's believable enough so far and I think that you are planning to develop the romance soon, but I can't exactly see the mystery yet. Will that come afterwards? Nevertheless, good luck on your plot! There is great potential in it.

Flow: 5/5
You do switch POVs but I think that it isn't very confusing, so it's okay. The story is relatively consistent and I really hope the flow will stay this way. Take your time with things (but don't take too much time!)

Grammar & Vocabulary: 13/15
Some minor mistakes here and there, but overall nothing too major to affect readability.
""So," Bora trailed turning to Myungsoo." - ""So..." Bora trailed off, turning to Myungsoo. An ellipsis will be more appropriate since Bora is trailing off.
"Myungsoo as told." - "Myungsoo did as he was told." Just a careless mistake here.
"Alright sounds good." - "All right, sounds good." Many people use 'alright' instead of 'all right' but it's actually not universally accepted yet, if I'm not wrong, so I'll advise you to stick with 'all right'.
'...and you still haven't wrote back!' - 'have not' should be followed by a past principle, which is 'written'.
'...who holds grudges but for you Cupcake,'  - '...who holds grudges, but for you, Cupcake,'
I like how you form your sentences as they do not create a monotonous effect, and I think that you have a relatively wide range of vocabulary, so do keep that up!

Description & Emotions: 8/10
It's descriptive enough, but I feel that you can add a little more emotion to the characters. Other than showing their actions, you can also reveal some of their thoughts and their opinions of certain matters. Showing is important, but telling is also equally important.

Format (Graphics & Layout): 6/10
Your format is relatively neat and words are readable, but if you want to present your story in a more appealing manner, I'd suggest you to get a layout. The poster can be improved... The pictures aren't exactly HD (actually I'm not really a good person to ask when it comes to quality of a picture, but the quality of the pictures differ a lot from the actual poster itself). There's nothing particularly eye-catching about the poster either. This may help you a bit... When you think about your story, what item does it remind you of? I'm guessing that it's a letter, so if that is the case, a letter or something can be placed on the poster. Like this, your readers can recognize your story by the so-called 'icon'. I would also encourage you to get a background, but it isn't exactly all that necessary - it's just to enhance the visual appearance of your story.-

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I am interested to read on mainly due to the characters, and also because I'm anticipating to know what will happen next. If it's not for the lack of thoughts, I think I would have enjoyed myself even more. Nevertheless, it's a pleasant read.

Total: 76/100 //B (+) 
I have nothing much to say. Thank you for requesting, and do not forget to follow all the rules!

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