25 / sincerely yours ❂

☆ Azeline's Review Portfolio ☆

sincerely yours by minderaser

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Criticism Level: 10

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Title: 1/5
It is a relatively plain title and reveals nothing much about the story. I can guess that it is somewhat about romance... but still, it's way too vague. I guess it's somewhat relevant... It's short and sweet which is a plus factor, but if you want your title to be uniquely your story, I'd advise you to have a more original and eye-catching title which gives the readers some insight of the story, yet at the same time, does not reveal too many details. An example can be Smitten With Her. (ehh, a somewhat horrible example, sorry D:)

Description & Foreword: 9/10
I like your description and foreword - they're relevant and do not reveal too much or too little. I feel that they are intriguing but only if the formatting is better. Perhaps you can make the font size bigger rather than make the text bold so that the text will stand out more.

Characters: 15/20
Admittedly, I don't really know the characters well enough to judge this yet, maybe because you're still at the early chapters. I find Myungsoo an interesting character though; he seems to be a pretty short-tempered and obsessive person in the inside, yet like a calm and nice person on the outside. I'm still wondering what Bora's personality is. She seems like a typical teenage girl when I read the first chapter, but she doesn't show any prejudicedness (she's being relatively kind to Myungsoo, and usually people tend to be a little biased towards such people, sadly). I also wonder why Myungsoo likes her. (I suppose it is admiration however, it doesn't seem like they've interacted very much beforehand). I'd advise you to show more of their emotions and feelings... it'll help a lot on defining the characters' personalities. All in all, I am enticed to know more about your characters (Myungsoo in particular).

Plot: 15/20
I wouldn't say that it is a very original plot, but it has something intriguing in the story which is also partly due to the characters. One thing; why is Myungsoo able to attend a normal school? Is it because he is smart, or are there any other reasons? Other than that, I'm okay with the plot, and it's actually pretty ironic how Bora treats Myungsoo so kindly yet treats his letters like trash (I think it's normal for her to react like this, though. I mean, she is receiving letters from an unknown person... I'd be surprised if she happily reads them.) It's believable enough so far and I think that you are planning to develop the romance soon, but I can't exactly see the mystery yet. Will that come afterwards? Nevertheless, good luck on your plot! There is great potential in it.

Flow: 5/5
You do switch POVs but I think that it isn't very confusing, so it's okay. The story is relatively consistent and I really hope the flow will stay this way. Take your time with things (but don't take too much time!)

Grammar & Vocabulary: 13/15
Some minor mistakes here and there, but overall nothing too major to affect readability.
""So," Bora trailed turning to Myungsoo." - ""So..." Bora trailed off, turning to Myungsoo. An ellipsis will be more appropriate since Bora is trailing off.
"Myungsoo as told." - "Myungsoo did as he was told." Just a careless mistake here.
"Alright sounds good." - "All right, sounds good." Many people use 'alright' instead of 'all right' but it's actually not universally accepted yet, if I'm not wrong, so I'll advise you to stick with 'all right'.
'...and you still haven't wrote back!' - 'have not' should be followed by a past principle, which is 'written'.
'...who holds grudges but for you Cupcake,'  - '...who holds grudges, but for you, Cupcake,'
I like how you form your sentences as they do not create a monotonous effect, and I think that you have a relatively wide range of vocabulary, so do keep that up!


Description & Emotions: 8/10
It's descriptive enough, but I feel that you can add a little more emotion to the characters. Other than showing their actions, you can also reveal some of their thoughts and their opinions of certain matters. Showing is important, but telling is also equally important.

Format (Graphics & Layout): 6/10
Your format is relatively neat and words are readable, but if you want to present your story in a more appealing manner, I'd suggest you to get a layout. The poster can be improved... The pictures aren't exactly HD (actually I'm not really a good person to ask when it comes to quality of a picture, but the quality of the pictures differ a lot from the actual poster itself). There's nothing particularly eye-catching about the poster either. This may help you a bit... When you think about your story, what item does it remind you of? I'm guessing that it's a letter, so if that is the case, a letter or something can be placed on the poster. Like this, your readers can recognize your story by the so-called 'icon'. I would also encourage you to get a background, but it isn't exactly all that necessary - it's just to enhance the visual appearance of your story.-

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I am interested to read on mainly due to the characters, and also because I'm anticipating to know what will happen next. If it's not for the lack of thoughts, I think I would have enjoyed myself even more. Nevertheless, it's a pleasant read.

Total: 76/100 //B (+) 
I have nothing much to say. Thank you for requesting, and do not forget to follow all the rules!


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mistressdean
#1
OMG, came back to stalk your reviews and I saw your recs on the front page T-T
Thank you <33
But on a side note, you have Cheese Me up here LOL
hanajoe #2
Chapter 84: I've picked up, thanks.
hanajoe #3
Hi, here my request form:

1. http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/677492/ex-boyfriend-angst-drama-chansoo-exo-kaistal-baekyeol-kaisoo

2. Informal, please ^^

3. neglect some parts entirely and just write about certain parts

4. Graded review

Thanks in advance ^^
rhymes10
#4
Chapter 83: First of all, my dearest lil daughter mueheheh.
I don't think this one is a harsh one though. Um, is it weird if i keep smiling while i read the whole review from you? ;n;
And its not making me feels down but uh happy? Reasons will be explained on pm >~<
Rather than feeling being depressed i'm just happy because i need this and a bit surprised tbh. I thought i will just have 0/20 or 12/100 means i already expected lowest grade EHEHHEEH
I love you! Like for real, i love the way of you being honest with all of your reviews towards my story and you are right, i srsly having a problem with developing characters. I love regressing them instead ;A;
And nu, im not good with graphics at all srsly. I was just having a feeling that i need a poster before i could write a story. It was for my motivation though LOL
Oh, i was surprised too that i have 4/5 for the flow since i thought i will have 1/5 for it. But having a score more than 20 from a reviewer like you is uh how can i explain this. It makes me more motivated to be better and better and better? And dont feel bad for this review! ;n;
I was the one who is lacking tho. But i will grow better and you will be a witness mhm!♡
P.s ; imma bombarded your pm in any minutes
Myungiepotato23
#5
Chapter 81: AHHHHH GYUHEE REFERENCE XD <3
Blu3Wind
#6
Chapter 81: I won’t actually comment much on the writing style cause this was one of my earlier stories, and I do think a lot has changed since then. I can describe a smile slightly better than just writing “smile” or “grin” now. Hahahahahahaa. Thank you for acknowledging my shamelessness! I Appreciate it!

The idea of making the third POV sound more personal never even crossed my mind. Cause I tried to strictly keep it as third POV, but should it have been written with first POV, those kind of remarks would be more fitting, yes. XD

Heyyy~ Hyunmi is basically based on me (again, so shameless). And that is the main motivation for all the WooMi stories, though they shall keep their cheesiness in the different stories and shall always end up together XD Is this why I got so many notifications of you subbing to my WooMi stories??? Lolllll

I don’t actually know BTS to that extenT (using a T here, not a D. I’m learning. Hahaha) and it’s my first time hearing that story. But yeah, that whole part was actually the entire crack premise. I wanna be sad, but it’s so ridiculous I cant entirely be sad either XD It was intended to be a comedic angst, is that even a genre? XD

SEEEE??? ME AND WOOHYUN WOULD BE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER!!! I mean.. *cough* WooMi… *cough*

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA Cheesiness is needed to survive. You don’t wanna end up in the lab with tubes and all XD

I wasn’t actually sure if I wanted that plot twist, but it seemed sweeter that way, so I did it anyway. Anything for #WooMi4life Oh, and they confessed like away from the window, like at another corner so no one could watch.

“Well, it's been 4 stories and my love for your stories didn't die down” Aaawww let me hug you right now and hand over different types of cheese~ <3333 And yup, this story wasn’t meant to be realistic at all, so would’ve accepted a 0 for the score too on that part. Hahahahaha Thank you again for the review! I hop you shall enjoy whatever you choose to read next!
niangniang
#7
awww omgosh i didnt know you were a reviewer too! this is such a coincidence bc you write such lovely comments that ive always felt youd make a brilliant reviewer and turns out you are one~ i feel so proud all of a sudden ; u ; you go and help the aff world with your brilliant reviewing skills ♡
YX__94
#8
Hi!^^ Probably stupid question: how does requesting works?