*** Chapter 7: Heartbreaks ***

No one can understand why the King was so stubborn with his decision to marry Changjo to Eric. The issue was carefully kept secret, but in no time the whole palace already knew. Especially when the King suddenly made the Princess' birthday party on January 1st also became her engagement party with her brother.

King Imho even stated that he would officially announce the news to public after the school's Graduation Ceremony. Eric would be coronated on his birthday celebration, and the marriage date will be decide 2 years later, after the Princess graduated from high school.

“You'll marry us right after Changjo graduates school?!” Eric was jolted. “She'll barely 18 by then! You'll even hold the marriage consummation right away?! But father, she's too young!!”

“But you'll be 21 already, Junghyuk! I was married to the Queen when we were just 16.”

“But that was decades ago. Time has changed, Father.”

“Time might have changed, but the palace's customs have the rights to stand firm. You should've been crown already at the latest when you were 15! I've been patience enough to wait until your graduation,” the King argued. “If only you hadn't throw a tantrum when you're a kid, you should've graduated last year!”

Years ago when Eric should had entered school, he protested too much since his same age brothers weren't allowed to go to school yet. He was born on February, he should had been gone to school with kids who were slightly older than him. But he always made some ruckus until the King's wives surrendered and made him started school a year later, together with his three brothers.

“You always intended to make me the Crown Prince,” Eric uttered in disbelief after realizing what his father had been trying to say.

“Yes, of course,” the King complied. “You're my oldest. And I don't see any reason for you to be unworthy to the throne.”

“Then I'll accept the Crown as you wish. But set Changjo free from this. You can't...”

“No!” The King firmly cut. “It's my decision. The Princess is also worthy for the Crown, and I see this as the best opportunity. It's for the sake of our nation's future! I, too, can’t find any other person better for her other than my own son. I want only best for her!”

And the King's order couldn't be undone.

Changjo was totally in despair. She didn't even have the heart to face her bestfriend. At first Hyemi was mad, of course. But after she witnessed how the King's decision has made her bestfriend turned into something like zomby, with dark circles around her eyes, as the result of excessive crying and lack of sleeping, she put aside her ego and tried her best to encourage the Princess.

“Something is not right,” Hyemi thought. “Why does the King look like he is rushing things? There's no way His Majesty will keep his stubbornness after he saw what happened to Changjo. Even when he is King, he won't force his children to marry each other like this.”

She decided to go to Hyesung since usually he was the one who was able to see anyone's true intentions. That's why he earned the title 'Fortune Teller'. Most of the time he could see anyone's inner thought and reveal any hidden motives.

Hyemi found the 4th Prince near palace's dojo. But she was surprised to find that Hyesung didn't want to have anything to do with the marriage matters.

“Sorry, Hyemi-ssi,” he said politely, “I don't have anything to say about this.” He walked away but stopped for a moment. “Just stay beside her, will you please? She definitely can't be left alone. But I can't do that...” the last sentence he uttered it faintly that Hyemi almost couldn't hear it.

“What happen to Prince Hyesung?” Hyemi wondered. “Why does he act weird?” 

“He's been acting like that since we decide that I'm the one who's going to be crowned.”

Out of nowhere it was Eric who answered her curiosity. She jumped a little in surprise since she didn't really want to meet Eric at the moment.

“Your Highness,” she bowed politely anyway.

Eric bowed slightly replying her greetings. But then they turned into silence. No one was really able to say anything, because both knew, as much as they desired the person standing in front of them, they're just going to make Changjo to be in difficult situation. Hyemi herself didn't know that Eric had the same feeling for her, so she never put much hope anyway.

“Your Higness, don't you know that...” Hyemi was trying to ask something but she stopped it.

Eric was waiting her to finish the sentence.

Please don't ask me if I know about your feelings for me or not. I don't wanna to hear it directly from you, Hyemi. I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to take it. I'm afraid I will crack. You'll never know how much I want to escape from this situation...

“Well...” Hyemi finally said a word, “I'm not even know if I shouldn't say this, but.. Do you know that Changjo has someone she likes, Your Highness?”

Eric was relieved to hear the full question. But somewhere inside his heart, he was a bit dissapointed.

“Ehm..yeah.. I know about that..” he answered quickly, ignoring the thoughts in his head.

“Then.. Because now she won't be able to....be with someone she likes...” she gulped, “Please make her happy...” she tried her best to be strong, but she couldn't deny that she was trembling a bit. “And I wish for your happiness too, Your Highness...”

Gosh..Hyemi... your voice is almost shaking... She cursed herself.

Eric didn't reply with any words. He just kept staring at the girl.

It must be very hard for you to say those words to me. I'll be praying for your happiness too. For the first time in my life, I wish I wasn't born a Prince...

“Sure..” was all he could say. “Thanks...” And sorry...

Hyemi gulped again, fighting the tears not to flow streaming down her face. “Then I shall take my leave now, Your Highness. It's getting late.” She bowed deeply, “Good bye..”

She bid her farewell and never look up to the Prince's face again.

I gently gazing you
And engrave your face in my heart
You must be suffering too
Even if I smile, I can’t smile
And it hurts
It hurts so bad
Our heart and lips say different things
It must be hurtful
Forever in my heart
You’re the only one
Why don’t you know

******

Changjo was on her gardens. She sat on the bench, facing the ponds. She’s trying to enjoy the gentle breeze of afternoon sun, but it was winter, the air was cold.

“Changjo-ya…”

A boy was approaching her. He brought a blanket with him. Once he seated himself beside the girl, he gently put the thick fabric over their bodies, covering them from the cold.

“Wannie oppa…” she really appreciated his attention. She felt his strong arm were on her shoulders, and she leaned her head on him.

Dongwan said nothing. As always, when she or any of their siblings were in deep trouble, he was there for them, saying nothing much, but at times, it was what they need the most.

They spent more time in silence. If her spirit was free, she would likely fallen asleep within Dongwan’s gentle caresses. But she was in dismay. She felt like crying, but she was tired of it.

“Oppa…”

“Hmmm..”

“Is Hyesungie oppa still mad at me?”

“She’s not mad at you, my dear..”

“But he… he is obviously pissed off. He didn’t sing at my birthday like he always did. And he’s been avoiding me..” the girl wept. “Why… What is my fault? Is it because I’m aggreeing to marry Eric oppa?”

“Sstt… It can’t be.. I told you, he’s not mad at you,” Dongwan ensured her.

“Then why…” she was desperate.

“I believe he himself might not know why he’s been doing that,” Dongwan responded. “He might be our fortune teller, but when he is troubled inside, he can’t see through himself properly.”

“But it must be related to me and Eric oppa, right?”

“Perhaps…” his hand was delicately her hair, “But believe me, give him time, and he’ll eventualy back into his true self. He just need time to process everything in his mind.”

She heaved a long sigh then burying her face deeper into the toned chest. “Then what about you and the others? Can you accept it?”

“We’ve thought about it over and over, Changjo-ya, and in the end, we decide, that this will be our best option. Eric was always the one who able to lead us anyway. And I believe, he will treasure you, even more…” He felt his chest was gradually wet. “Hey… don’t cry…” he raised her face and swept the tears that’s flowing.

“I can’t help but to feel sorry…”

“Don’t!” he gently warned. “You have to be happy. No matter what… you have to be happy… We’ll always be here for both of you…”

“Thanks..oppa…”

And the two siblings stayed like that until the sun set.

******

Days went by. Changjo was gradually able to openly accept the fact of her fate, and she started to go back to her merry self. Eric too was relieved that his sister could finally smile again. He had been spending more time with her. He truly want his beloved Princess to be happy with him, as he too will try to forget about Hyemi and treasure his sister properly.

But he still couldn’t understand the tantrum Hyesung had been showing. The slender Prince still gave him silent treatment. Eric wished, if his brother was mad, it’s better if he spit it out loud and even went into fist-fights with him, rather than ignoring him like this.

“Hyesung-a!” he called him when the younger boy walked past by without even looking at him. But Hyesung didn’t even pause his step.

“4th Prince Shin Goon Lee Hyesung! Stay where you are!” Eric couldn't hold it anymore. He would do anything he needed to make his brother talked to him.

Hyesung did stop his step then. His oldest brother had just called him by his full title. And of course he had to do as the oldest prince said. Eric was 1st prince anyway, higher position than the 4th, obviously.

“Hyesung..” Eric tapped his shoulder lightly, but he jerked it right away.

“What? You're abusing power now? What's with the 4th? You're going to be the Crown Prince so you need to practice?” The words came out of his mouth out of his consent. He didn't even realised what he uttered.

“Stop it, Hyesung! You don't act like yourself!” Eric tried his best to control his tone. He got a faint idea about what was causing his brother to be mad, but he needed to make sure.

“I'm acting like myself!” Hyesung countered,”What's wrong with you!”

“I got nothing wrong with me! You are! There's something wrong with you! You've been avoiding me, and worse, you've been ignoring Changjo, ever since I told father that I would marry her and become the Crown Prince. Do you hate the decision? And if you do, why don't you just say something?”

“I do not disagree! We all know that it is better than letting that Sunghoon brat screw our little sister!”

“Then why are you acting like this? Are you jealous with me?”

“No!”

“Yes you are! Which part? C'mon tell me.. Is it about Changjo? Or the Crown Prince thing?”

“You know I never want the Crown!”

“It's Changjo then..”

“No!”

“Then what?!” Eric snapped.

“It’s…” Hyesung paused. Actually, he had been fighting with himself, trying to figure out what’s happening with him until he was feeling so angry, so mad, so frustrated.

Eric questions just now, he had been asking himself those too. Obviously he never wish to have the throne. He prefered to spend his life as a Prince forever rather than filling heavy duties as the head of a kingdom.

“Hyesung-a..” Eric called him softly. “I know.. Out of us six, you are the one who cares about Changjo the most.. Do you secretly have certain feelings for her? Do you love her more than a brother loves his sister?”

That specific question was piercing painfully into his heart. He’d been asking himself that too. In his madness he almost believe that he was truly loving Changjo more than a sister.

“Seek..deep.. into your heart.. the answer to that question, Hyesung-a,” Eric spoke slowly. “Only you can answer it.”

Hyesung looked deep into his brother’s eyes as he saw the reflection of his own eyes in it. He gradually found what he was looking for. When everything came to his realization, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for his foolishness.

“Eric.. I’m sorry…” he finally opened his mouth.

The oldest Prince felt his heart was lifted with those words. Without further explanations, he understood everything, from the looks of his beloved brother.

“It’s not me who you have to say sorry to…” he formed a smile.

“Yes…” Hyesung inhaled deeply.

“Go… find her…” Eric ordered, and the younger didn’t wait another second to dash, leaving his brother to find his beloved sister.

******

Changjo was dancing at her pavilion. Dancing was indeed her sweet escape since she could forget everything when she put everything in her every move. She closed her eyes and focused on the music she played on the stereo. She was enjoying gentle breeze that caressed her face delicately, she didn’t realize that someone was approaching her and suddenly hugging her tightly from her back.

“Changjo-ya.. I’m sorry…” Hyesung softly whispered to her ear.

She was frozen. She didn’t know how to react to the sudden affection that she has been missing from her 4th brother.

“I know I’ve been acting like a jerk to you. But really I’m just a foolish brother, who loves his sister too much it makes him blind.”

“Oppa..”

He losened his hug a bit. The girl turned her body to make them stand face to face.

“You’ve grown up now, so I’ll just tell you bluntly,” his one hand was still on her waist, the other was tenderly cupping her cheek. “I was afraid that I love you more than a brother loves his sister. I was so mad when I realized that Eric was really going to marry you.” He exhaled a short breath. “I.. I couldn’t imagine, that you’ll marry soon. That you.. That some other boy is going to.. make love to you… I thought I was crazy because I was burnt in jealousy.”

Changjo widened her eyes to hear him stating those words.

“But..” he quickly added. “In fact, it wasn’t the case.. I can’t imagine myself to do that to you either.” He looked deep into her eyes. “I’m just a foolish brother who can not yet let go of the thought, that my precious little sister is going to get married.” He forced a chuckle, “You know how I can be very possessive over things, right?”

His giggles turned into sincere ones, and the Princess finally formed a smile on her face too, “Well, yes, you are..”

He pulled her into his embrace. “You’re just very precious to me, my dear baby sister..”

“This baby sister of yours is no longer a baby, oppa…” she reminded him.

“Yeah, I know…” he kissed her temple.

“So… Are you willing to let me go now?”

He sighed, “I admit I would prefer to let you go a bit later when you’re older, and going with someone you truly love. But see who you are.. You are the Princess anyway. Marriage, is one the things that you can’t choose on your own. I should have been supportive knowing what you’re facing, dear..”

“It’s okay oppa. I’ve realized it since long before…”

Hyesung tightened his embrace, “I wish you a happy life, my love. I know Eric will treasure you..”

“Thank you, Hyesungie oppa…”

******

The life within the palace continued. The school was on winter break, but there was a complementary study session. Changjo was actually excited to attend the session, but after things that happened, she chose to stay at home. Even when she need to continue her practice with Jiwon, she asked him to come to palace like they’d done lately.

They were alone at her pavilion. They had finished the music and the dance movements. Now what they need to do was practicing the whole score so they would be able the present a smooth performance for the big day.

Dancing while thinking about the graduation day made Changjo’s heart somehow ached. The dance itself, the general idea is about a sadness of leaving something and fear of facing something new, before in the end the feelings would turn merrier and portraying a gratitude.

The ‘sadness of leaving something’ part though, hit the Princess’ heart harshly.

She stopped her movements. Her eyes was gazing into the boy on her side who unknowingly had been staring her every moves and expressions.

No words were spoken. They continued looking at each other. Changjo didn’t think she could hide her feelings anymore. She couldn’t control it.

I like you, Jiwon sunbae… I love you…

but…

I have to accept my destiny…

Tears were unknowingly flowing down her face. Jiwon couldn’t stay seated. He rose and with quick steps, he reached her. He stopped when he had only one step left, somehow surprised that he was reacting impulsively.

The Princess raised her face, watching at her senior in confusion since she felt that he had such a troubling look.

Jiwon didn’t stop his hand reaching her face, gently wipe her tears away. But then it stayed still. He couldn’t let go of the one his heart actually desired.

Why are you crying?

How much do I have to feel to call it love?

Please name this feelings that tighten my heart…

I don't know if I should tell you..

I wish someday you'll return my feelings..

But I don't have the right to say it..

Even if they know who I truly am, now that you’re engaged, will they ever let you to be mine?

He didn’t have the heart to say anything though. They just kept staring each other in silence.

Until she noticed it. His eyes were glistening, b with tears.

That look.. that look in your eyes… Sunbae…

No..way…

Another tears were escaping the girl’s eyes.

Don’t tell me you like me too..

Don’t tell me, you’re feeling the same thing I feel..

My heart won’t be able to take it, Sunbae…

I can not runaway..

She couldn’t help herself to stop crying. She weeped. She burst into tears. Jiwon raised his other hand, and now both are wiping her face.

“Princess, please… don’t cry..” his voice was breaking.

“Sunbaenim… I…”

“Sshhh…” he stopped her by placing his thumb on her lips. “Don’t say anything..” he shook his head slowly.

If you tell me now, I won’t be able to hold myself. I might just grab you and take you away…

Her tears didn’t stop flowing. She dropped her head, trying to wipe her own tears and pushed his hands away, but instead of letting her go, those hands were pulling her closer, and without warning, his lips were landed on hers.

Everything happened so suddenly.

“What. do. you. think. you. are. doing.. Eun Jiwon-ssi?”

The Princess had not yet absorbed the sudden movement of her senior, but she was jolted by another shock. She set herself free from the kiss and turned her head to find that her brothers, Hyesung and Eric, was glaring at them, with obvious fury. The cold voice just now absolutely belonged to Hyesung.

 
*** to be continued ***