“IU sshi?” TOP asks, equally surprised. He glances at her and then at the door to Ji Yong’s house and then back to her. He can't seem to process the situation. As surprising as the situation might have been, TOP’s inability to process it was also because he was inebriated. A fact Ji Eun decides to take advantage of.

“Are you going inside, Oppa? Go inside safely, I’ll see you around,” she says, bowing and tries to quickly walk past him but her pulls her back by her shoulder.

“Jhamshimanyo, wait a minute,” he says. He’s drunk. But he’s not out of it, Ji Eun notices to her disappointment. “This is GD’s house, isn't it?”

“Hmm? Oppa, you’re hurting me. Mind letting go?” Ji Eun says, distracting him from the topic again. TOP softens the hold but doesn’t let go. He clutches his head with his free hand for a second, startling Ji Eun. He opens and closes his eyes.

“Oppa, are you—are you okay?”

“Yes,” TOP says, sparing her a glance. “Let’s go inside,” he tugs at her shoulder.

“No Oppa, I think I should get back home. I’ve got a shoot early morning.” She had hoped that he would let her go and think he had dreamt it all last night but instead TOP shoots her a glare which scares her. It makes her aware of her transparency—of the situation’s apparent transparency.

“I think you’ll be fine,” TOP says, opening the door and waiting for her to get in. She considers knocking him unconscious but realizing that it would only cause more problems, does as he bids. Ji Yong is still sleeping—happily unaware of the world—on the sofa. Ji Eun feels bad for waking him up but considering TOP’s precarious nature thought it better to.

"Ji Yonga, wake up,” Ji Eun shakes Ji Yong.

“ing hell, just let me sleep. ing leave if you have to, why do you need to wake me up every time,” Ji Yong mutters sleepily, slapping away her hand. It is suddenly bright—for TOP has switched the lights on, which make Ji Yong even antsier.

“Kwon Ji Yong ing wake up,” she shakes him roughly. She doesn’t want to deal with TOP alone—and she can feel his eyes boring into her back. He’s is standing near the switchboard near the entry door. Ji Eun can feel his eagle eyes watching—assessing. It makes Ji Eun incredibly nervous. She doesn’t want to deal with whatever storm that he was going to brew and send her—their—way.

She could feel choke up with emotion. She couldn’t bear the idea of being forced away from Ji Yong. They had so much to do together—more anonymous songs, their play and the opera—it couldn’t all end now suddenly. She could feel herself beginning to hyperventilate. She takes deep breaths. Meanwhile, Ji Yong refuses to wake up.

“What the ing hell,” Ji Yong shoots upright at her insistent touch. His eyes cannot adjust to the sudden brightness and remain closed. “What the is it? Did you have a ing nightmare again or did you—,”

“ing just open your eyes and see who’s here,” Ji Eun bursts out, angrily moving away from him to stand near the door that leads to the kitchen—away from Ji Yong and TOP. She wants to almost burst into tears but she holds herself back. Ji Yong cracks an eye open. It’s still too bright for him to see who’s there completely. He rubs the back of his palm into his eyes.

“Who is it?” Ji Yong asks sleepily.

“It’s me, TOP hyung.”

Ji Yong freezes for three long seconds before finally opening his eyes. His face mirrors the silent horror on Ji Eun’s face. He looks to her for answers but she doesn’t say anything. She can’t bring herself to explain the situation. She doesn’t want to put it into words and make it more real than it was.

“Hyung, when did you come?” Ji Yong asks, getting up and walking towards TOP.

“A while ago,” he answers. His face is stony. He looks pissed. Ji Eun can't understand why he’s so pissed but he is.

“We're just friends,” Ji Yong puts an arm on TOP’s shoulder but TOP doesn't look at him, choosing to stare at Ji Eun for answer. 

“Yes,” Ji Eun confirms. “We're just friends. Since we worked on the song together we became good friends,” the lies roll off her tongue smoothly. She can't tell TOP how or since when they were friends. He didn't need to know it. And they weren't obliged to tell them. It was their lives after all. Were they not allowed to have secrets just because they were celebrities? Ji Yong doesn't contradict her. 

“Yes,” Ji Yong pipes in. “We're just friends, hyung. You’re scaring us. Please sit for god’s sake.”

TOP doesn’t seem convinced but allows Ji Yong to lead him to the sofa. He looks at them suspiciously. “Hyung,” Ji Yong leans forward on his knees, towards TOP, “Ji—IU and I are just friends. I promise you. I have no reason to lie to you of all people.”

Ji Eun comes to sit next Ji Yong on the sofa. TOP watches her carefully.

“Why the secrecy?” TOP asks.

“People won’t understand. It’s too bothersome to explain to people. You know how the media is. And the netizens—do you really find it surprising that we didn’t let anyone know? They would speculate ‘just friends’ don’t meet this often, don’t spend nights. It would be adhering to rules, rules and rules. I know you understand what I’m saying Hyung. Do you really find it surprising that we kept it a secret?” Ji Yong asks earnestly.

“Yes,” TOP answers blithely. “What about people who’re close to you? Why hide it from me?”

Ji Yong shrugs. “There was no need to tell anyone about this. We’re just friends, after all. Why would anyone care?”

Something flashes in TOP’s eyes—something Ji Eun can't make sense of—but catches Ji Yong’s eyes, who immediately stiffens. “I mean—it wasn’t a big deal. That’s what I meant,” he says—no, seemed to be clarifying. Ji Eun makes it a point to ask him later what that meant. But for now she is content to let Ji Yong do the talking.

“You’re not lovers?” TOP asks again.

Only in fairy tales, Ji Eun thinks and knows Ji Yong is thinking the same.  

“No, we’re not.”

 TOP looks at Ji Eun, as if for confirmation, which she gladly provides. “We’re not. Ji Yong and I are just friends.

“Wait, why are you not calling him oppa?” TOP asks, frowning.

“We—we just prefer it this way,” Ji Eun explains, visibly uncomfortable. TOP doesn’t ask more.

 “We’re friends,” Ji Yong adds, shrugging. “Now can we please agree that this has been resolved and get some sleep? It’s almost three in the morning and Ji Eun also needs to leave I think.” He stands up, stretching his hands above his head.

“Yep, I do,” Ji Eun adds eagerly, standing up. They both look to TOP, who’s still seated with a contemplative face, for confirmation. He glances at them and nods absently. “Yeah,” he mumbles. “IU sshi should go.”

Ji Yong and Ji Eun sigh together in relief. “Have a good night, oppa,” Ji Eun says, leaving quickly. Ji Yong is also at her heels, eager to push her out. They both seem to be worried about TOP changing his mind. As soon as the door shuts behind Ji Eun’s back she lets out another huge sigh.

“Kheun-ill nal-ppon hai-sso,” almost got real, Ji Eun mutters to herself as she dragged herself to the elevator. She wonders what the hell Ji Yong must be dealing with. But as the elevator doors open, she is too tired to think further.

“Hyung, go sleep in the guest room,” Ji Yong says nudging TOP’s shoulder lightly. He hadn’t moved since Ji Eun had left. It was making Ji Yong nervous.

“Yeah, I will. I’m just really tired.”

“And drunk.” Ji Yong adds, walking to his own bedroom.

“And drunk,” TOP confirms. “Ji Yong-a,” TOP calls out.

“Hmm?” Ji Yong stops at the door of his bedroom.

“You’re really friends right?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t lie to you, Hyung.” Ji Yong can feel TOP examining his face for any tell-tale signs of lying. Ji Yong sighs. “Hyung, get some sleep, yeah? We’ll talk more in the morning if you want.” Ji Yong doesn’t wait for an answer before closing the door of his bedroom.

He quickly pulls out his phone and texts Ji Eun.

Reached home safe?

Still on my way, comes her reply. Everything okay there?

Yes. I think so. Ok good night. I’m sleeping now. He falls asleep before Ji Eun can send him a reply.

 The next evening Ji Eun bombards him with texts. She had been careful about not texting him all day for she didn’t know if TOP Oppa was still at Ji Yong’s or not. But as soon as dusk fell she figured Ji Yong would have sorted the entire thing out. A second after she shoots the text she gets a call from him.

“Well?” she demands when he doesn’t say anything.

“Well what?”

“What happened today?”

“Nothing,” Ji Yong says curtly. Ji Eun rolls her eyes. She hates it when Ji Yong clammed up about things.

“Nothing at all?”

“Yes. That’s what I said.” Ji Eun didn’t miss the sarcasm in his voice. Why was he being sarcastic? Hadn’t he been the one who called!?

“Yaan, what’s wrong with you? Damn, you’re annoying. I just want to know if everything is back to normal or not. Do you really need to make it this hard?” she can’t help but bite out.

“What did I do? Why are you getting annoyed at me? I’m just telling you what happened—which is nothing. He just left in the morning.”

“You could have begun with that. And I’m annoyed at you. You’re so—never mind. What did he say? He just left in the morning?”

“Yes, he left before I could even woke up.” Ji Yong sounded upset. Ji Eun bit her lip. He and TOP were really close. Was TOP oppa that upset that Ji Yong hadn't told him of their friendship? Was it really that big of a deal, though?

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. It’s not even a big deal,” Ji Eun offers half-heartedly though in reality she didn’t really know what was bothering TOP oppa so much. Despite the shock, she couldn’t see why—even if they were dating—should it affect TOP oppa so much. “Oh my god, is he in love with you?”

“No,” Ji Yong scoffs at the other end of the line. “Anyway, don’t worry about it. It’ll sort itself out. I know TOP Hyung. I have a recording right now so I’ll talk to you later.”

“Oh. Alright, okay. Take care.”

Ji Yong hangs up. “Well,” Ji Eun shrugs, “if he doesn’t care that much.” She switches on the TV and watches sitcoms all night.

Sometimes she has these panic attacks which leave her trembling. She imagines herself poor all over again, living in that one-room apartment with her grandmother, brother—or worse living with their aunt’s family. She has to clutch her debit cards, check her savings to calm herself down. She is scared she might lose all the money she has earned and then—then it’ll be back to nothing again. It’s not going to happen, she tells herself to calm herself down but it doesn’t work. Too many bad things had happened without warning and there was no surety anymore.

She wonders if others also suffer from the same. If Yoona Onnie did, if Ji Yong did. But she was too embarrassed to ask them. It felt too personal. And silly. So she takes a few deep breaths and turns her attention to something else. She hated being alone because of this. She couldn’t keep her thoughts in order. She's sitting in her car, waiting for Manager Oppa who has gone out to fetch himself something to eat.

There is a knock on the door which startles her. She opens the door to find TOP’s face peering into her van. She raises an eyebrow but nevertheless decides to humour him.

“Annyeong-haseyo, Oppa,” Ji Eun smiles brightly. Her face hurts but she doesn’t let her smile falter.

“Annyeong. Been well?” TOP asks, smiling—no, smirking. What was up with him? she thinks to herself.

“Yes. What about Oppa? Have you been well, Oppa?”

“Yes. I think I asked you to call me sunbaenim last time we met.”

“Yes you did.” She keeps her face clear of any emotion.

TOP tilts his head. “And you refuse?”

Ji Eun only smiles. “Dare I refuse?” she laughs. It is a bitter laugh. “My manager oppa is on the way, I'm afraid you’ll have to excuse us.” She carefully avoids all forms of titles. you, she thinks to herself and focuses on her manager who is crossing the road and walking towards their van.

“IU sshi, what are you doing on Saturday night?” TOP asks drawing Ji Eun’s attention back to him.

“Tomorrow night?” She was meeting Ji Yong.  “I’m not sure,” she lies, smoothly. “Why? Is there something the matter?”

“I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me.”

“Oh.” Ji Eun can't hide the shock on her face. Oh. She thinks to herself. She can’t seem to muster another reply. It is only the feeling of surprise that registers with her. She scans TOP’s face for any mischief but he appears to be dead serious. Oh, she thinks again.

“Yes. So do you have time?” He asks with his eyebrows raised, seemingly impatient.

“I’m not sure,” she says her now suddenly dry lips. is also dry, she notices.

“Maybe some other time?”

“Sunbaenim,” she says seriously. “I don’t think it’ll be right for us to see each other like that.” She tries to word it politely. To the best of her abilities.

“Not right? According to whom?” According to Ji Yong? He almost seemed to be asking. Ji Eun has to hold herself back from rolling her eyes.

“Just. Not right.”

“Is it more to do with not wanting to?” TOP asks, raising both his eyebrows.

“Yes,” she finally says. “Also, are you not leaving for the army in two weeks?”

“No.” TOP replies curtly. “One.”

“Ah.”

“Is that why—?”

“No.”

“Hmm.” He glances in the direction from where the manager is coming. He gives her a curt nod, “I guess I’ll see you around, then.”

“Yes. Take care, Oppa. See you around,” Ji Eun says but TOP has already left, shutting the door rather rudely. What a piss boy, she thinks annoyed. When the manager Oppa returns he asks Ji Eun if it had been Big Bang’s TOP that he had spotted near the van. She only shrugs. “Was giving me a tough time about why I didn’t step down and greet him,” she lies. She doesn’t want the manager Oppa to think up unnecessary things. Oppa scoffs and mutte