Night Out and Confession of a Trainee

Changsub stood outside the dorms near the entrance with his arms crossed, eyes unfocused and lower lip pouting out, contemplating the reason behind Sungjae’s earlier behavior while waiting for the others to arrive. He had more than enough time to decipher Sungjae’s cryptic favor he had asked of him. He couldn’t explain it yet but he knew Sungjae enough now to know something was wrong. Deep in his thoughts he didn’t hear the door behind him open or the footsteps of his friend Eunkwang sneaking behind him. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he turned so fast, he almost fell but his friend caught him instantly.

“Woah, Changsubbie. I’ve never seen you like this. Something on your mind?” Eunkwang asked with a hint of worry and curiosity but Changsub waved his friend’s question away with the arrival of Hyunsik and Sungjae closing in behind him. Eunkwang didn’t question him any further recognizing Changsub’s subtle change in demeanor when spotting Hyunsik and Sungjae coming through the building’s door. Eunkwang waved his hand in the air to catch their attention and Hyunsik smiled, speeding his pace while Sungjae hung his head down absorbed in whatever was on his mind.

“We’re all here now, so Sungjae-ya, since it was originally your idea to go out, any specific shopping center you wanted to go to or does it matter?” Eunkwang asked.

“No, any shopping center will do,” Sungjae said matter of factly.

“I thought you said you were looking for a particular item,” Changsub said, observing Sungjae darting his eyes away from him.

“You can find the item I’m looking for anywhere,” Sungjae said, still not looking at Changsub which really bothered him. Why wasn’t he looking at him? Did he do something wrong towards him? Maybe Sungjae didn’t liked that I laughed at him earlier, Changsub thought.

“Well then, let’s go. There’s one not that far from here,” Eunkwang said, grabbing Sungjae’s arm and dragging him along beside him, taking the lead in their trek to the shopping center.

Changsub began walking behind them slowly, deep in his thoughts once again. Hyunsik walked next to him in silence for a few minutes and then asked, “What are you thinking about, Changsub hyung? Something bothering you?”

Changsub glanced over to see Hyunsik staring at him and shook his head. “Nothing…. just...I think Sungjae may be mad at me….I don’t know why but he seems to be avoiding me since earlier….and it’s really bothering me not knowing why, so I think I need to find time to have a talk with Sungjae later on.”

Hyunsik nodded his head. “If you want, Eunkwang and I can wander off by ourselves, so you two can hang out alone. I’ll explain to Eunkwang. I’m sure he’ll understand,” Hyunsik suggested. Changsub smiled at his friend, happy that he had friends close enough to understand without him having to explain himself.

“Thanks, Hyunsik-ah, That would be great. I’ll give you a sign when you and Eunkwang should wander off. How about this?” Changsub said, sticking his hand out with his index finger and pinky out in the rock and roll sign. Hyunsik nodded.

“Okay, that’ll do.”

With a plan now form, Changsub and Hyunsik sped up their walk to catch up with the other two, finding them standing in front of a vendor’s table with gadgets and souvenirs laying spaced out and displayed for customers convenience of viewing the entire items without touching. None of the items laying before them caught Changsub’s interest, at least not worth the little money he had brought with him. Sungjae was standing next to Eunkwang showing little interest in what was lying before him and was looking off in the distance.

“Sungjae-ya, are any of the items the item that you were looking for?” Eunkwang asked, his eyes sparkling with interest on a gadget that seemed pretty expensive. Sungjae shook his head not even glancing at the table once. “No.”

“What is the item that you are looking for anyway? You never said, right? It would be easier if we knew. It’d be a lot faster so that we all can keep an eye out for you,” Eunkwang asked Sungjae. Sungjae turned his head with eyes wide open and his cheeks becoming a slight pinkish tone.

“...uhhh…” Sungjae looked in Changsub’s direction and then glanced back at the table so fast Changsub wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t been watching Sungjae the whole time. His ears were starting to become red now and Changsub immediately understood that Sungjae really didn’t want to say, at least not in front of him. Tugging Hyunsik’s arm to grab his attention he secretly made the signal out of view of the other two. Hyunsik nodded his head in understanding.

“How about we break up in pairs and explore on our own? I think it’ll be fun. We can meet back up here in an hour. Sungjae can look for the item he wants and I know Eunkwang wants to explore as many places as he can before curfew. What do you say, guys?” Hyunsik said in an appeasing voice.

“I’m fine with that,” Changsub readily agreed.

“Hmm, sounds good to me, I guess. Sungjae-ya, is that fine with you?” Eunkwang asked.

Sungjae meekly nodded his head with a small smile crossing his face. Changsub breathed a sigh of relief. At least he finally saw a smile on Sungjae since they met up.

“I’ll go with Eunkwang, Changsub can go with Sungjae,” Hyunsik said grabbing his friend by the shoulders and starting to walk off leaving no room for discussion. He waved at Changsub with a smile and a hidden wink.

“Don’t forget to meet here in an hour guys. Okay?” Eunkwang called back at them while being dragged off by Hyunsik’s strong force.

Changsub couldn’t help but to shake his head and smile with amusement at his friends. With his friends now far enough to not overhear his conversations with Sungjae he turned around to place his full attention on the silent figure standing at an arm's length behind him and asked with his most cheerful smile he could display, “So, what are we looking for? Is it small, medium or large? Is it light or heavy? Hmm?”

Sungjae had been nervous the whole time he was together with the other three especially with Changsub eyeing his every move. He didn’t know how he was going to explain to Changsub that there was no special item that he needed to get and that it was just an excuse to hang out with him alone.

All afternoon, after Eunkwang had intervened in his conversation and established a meeting time with the others, he felt himself becoming bitter and frustrated and maybe a little angry but he didn’t know the exact reason why himself. He knew he shouldn’t be upset but he couldn’t help it. Eunkwang was a good person and he liked him but due to his intervention he had lost his chance to discover Changsub’s answer. It had been nagging him since then. Had Changsub solely agreed to go because of Eunkwang or did he decide to go because of Sungjae? And why did he need to know? What was this feeling? He didn’t know but now here was his chance to find out. Hyunsik had done him a huge favor without knowing it by suggesting to split up and taking Eunkwang away so that he was left alone with Changsub.

He stood quietly behind Changsub watching him wave goodbye to his friends as they walked away further down the shopping center. He hoped that Changsub wasn’t bothered with being alone with him. He really wanted this to work out and for them to have fun together. Changsub turned around and smiled, his eye’s forming crescents as he asked what Sungjae was looking for.

Sungjae smiled in return and grabbed his hyung by the arm dragging him to the closest shop in view which happened to be selling delicious street foods that made his mouth water at sight. He grabbed a chair, pulling it out and dragged Changsub into the seat. Changsub sat down cautiously with questioning eyes. Sungjae sat down in front of him and they were quickly helped by a lady. Their orders were taken with Sungjae choosing to order a large plate of tteokbokki. Changsub chose not to order anything.

“Why didn’t you order anything? Did you eat already, Hyung?” Sungjae asked. Changsub shook his head but remained silent which worried Sungjae. “Hyung, are you okay? Anything bothering you?”

At this Changsub gave him a baffled look, and then looked over to the side avoiding Sungjae’s eyes. Feeling a little hurt but not able to voice it Sungjae look down at his hands that lay upon the table. “Why?” he heard himself say. He hadn’t meant to say it out loud but there it was. Out in the open.

“Why what?” he heard Changsub say. He looked up to see Changsub now watching him out of concern. His eyes were now on him and Sungjae felt relief.

“Why are you acting like you’re mad at me?” Sungjae said.

Changsub eyes displayed confusion, “what do you mean, I’m mad? I thought you were mad at me. Aren’t you?”

“Why would you think I’m mad at you?” Sungjae asked. Changsub was quiet for a few moments and then answered, “because you’ve been avoiding me since we’ve met up. Are you mad that I laughed at you earlier. If so, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at you but I just thought that it was cute that your ears turn red when you’re embarrassed.”

The revelation that Changsub wasn’t mad at him and even called him cute pulled at his heartstrings that he started to feel a bit giddy with happiness. Sungjae smiled at his hyung’s apology that didn’t need to be said because he was not mad at him for anything. Quite the contrary, he was just scared of what he was feeling, he now knew. Sungjae shook his head and stretch out his arm to grab his hyung’s hand.

“Hyung, I’m not mad at you at all. You don’t need to apologize. I’m mad at myself because I couldn’t tell you the truth. There is no ‘special item’ that i’m looking for, unless you consider yourself special,” Sungjae said, hardly believing he was saying this to Changsub but he needed to let him know. Changsub scrutinized him, confusion still lingering in his eyes.

“What do you mean? I don’t understand. There’s no item? But why did we come out to the shopping center then.”

“Because I was too scared to ask you if we could hang out and become closer friends. I don’t know why I didn’t just say it, but I am now. I like you, hyung, and I want to become closer to you. Not just training but everything that comes with friendship.” Sungjae had finally confessed his innermost desire and fear.

Changsub eyes enlarge at his confession but a genuine smile began to creep up on his face and his shoulders began to shake as small bursts of laughter sprung from his lips. Sungjae laughed too, all his earlier fears and anxiety washing away at the view of his hyung delighting in his confession.

“Why were you scared? Am I scary?” Changsub asked once he stopped laughing. Sungjae thought for a while and eventually nodded his head. Changsub gasped, “Really?”

“Yeah, don’t you know. All the trainees say you are scary. You have this face that seems to scream at people to go away whenever you are in your serious mode, especially when you are training,” Sungjae confessed.

“I see. I guess I need to work on that, huh? Maybe you can help me since you aren’t scared of me now. Right?” Changsub teased back.

“So, are you fine with us hanging out together outside of dance training?” Sungjae asked cautiously since he really didn’t get a confirmed answer from Changsub. Changsub nodded his head.

“Yes, it’s fine. I think I already kinda adopted you as a younger brother since I don’t have one,’ Changsub said, unknowingly revealing to Sungjae that he cared about him to the extent of calling him a brother. Sungjae felt bliss at this revelation.

They continued talking and joking for the next half hour until they had to leave to meet Eunkwang and Hyunsik. Even though they had remained in that one shop and had not explored further Sungjae was content with the day. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders that with all the happiness he was feeling he could even float off to outer space. That was how happy Changsub had made him. He grabbed his hyung’s arm while taking the last few steps to the meet up area they had designate an hour earlier. Eunkwang and Hyunsik were already there waiting for them both carrying a bag each. Eunkwang was the first to spot them, walking towards them with Hyunsik in tow.

“How was your hour? I found a few things that I wanted. What about you, Sungjae? Did you find what you were looking for?” Eunkwang asked.

Nodding his head, Sungjae said, “Yes, I did. And I’m more than happy about finding it.”

“I don’t see a bag. Can I see it? Is it in your pocket?”

“No. It’s something more precious than a material item,” Sungjae said enjoying the confusion bouncing off of Eunkwang and Hyunsik. Eunkwang looked over at Changsub looking for an explanation.

“Just ignore him. He’s being weird,” Changsub said with a smile, chuckling at Sungjae’s inside joke. Changsub then snatched Eunkwang’s bag opening it to view the contents.

“Woah, where’d you get the money to get this? Do you have money secretly stash somewhere,” Changsub said while looking over at Sungjae. Sungjae knew that Changsub was distracting Eunkwang away from asking Sungjae about the imaginary item that he did not have and felt fortunate to now have an older hyung he could rely on when he needed help.

“I think we should start heading back now if we want to arrive before curfew,” Hyunsik chimed in who had been completely silent during the three’s whole interaction. Changsub gave Eunkwang’s bag back,nodding his head in agreement with Hyunsik’s statement.

“He’s right. Let’s go before we get in trouble,” Changsub said.

“Okay, let’s go,” Eunkwang said.

The four of them walked as a group together and within minutes they were standing before the dorms. The day had started out rough but had ended on a good note for Sungjae. He glanced over at Changsub and couldn’t help himself but to give him a hug before running up the steps to his dorm. His heart was pounding as he ran up to his dorm but he couldn’t tell if it was because of the hug or because of the running. 

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Hello Melodies!!! I know it's been awhile since I've last updated. I will try to update as much as possible. In truth, I wasn't planning on making this fic this long...lol..just kinda happened...>.>.. Thank you to those that have subscribe and for the lovely comments too. I really appreciated it. Lets me know that you are guys are enjoying my writing and I am glad. :D And since this fic is mostly about Changjae, I'm sure most of you guys know about their recent injuries. Let's send them get well wishes and pray for their future health along with the other members. Love you Melodies.!!!