I woke up in the morning to the monotone beeping of my alarm clock. I rolled over in bed and shut it off before dragging myself to get up. After throwing on my school uniform, I grabbed my phone and proceeded to the kitchen. I put my school bag and duffel bag down by the door and sat down at the kitchen table. My mom greeted me with her warm smile as she always does and my dad remains indifferent with his nose stuck in today’s newspaper. Mom brought over three plates of pancakes, one for each of us.

“Are you ready for your trip today?” My mom has asked me, as today most of our school would be leaving for a field trip.

“I have been ready for the last week mom.” I replied to her sarcastically.

We ate our breakfast peacefully before I left for school. I kissed both my parents before grabbing my bags and leaving the house for the day. While walking to school I met up with my friends as always and we spent the walk happily talking about our upcoming field trip.

The school day passed by really quickly as everyone, even the teachers, was excited about our trip. The teachers didn’t give us much work and we just chilled out all day. We were let out early so we could bring our school bags back home and return to the school in time to catch the buses.

Once everyone had returned to the school grounds and the teachers completed their attendance, we were split up into groups and boarded our designated bus. We spent the bus ride chatting away with our friends about what we were going to do when we got free time on our trip. After the almost two hour bus ride, we arrived at the Incheon Port and a cloud of students dismounted from the buses. We were all in high spirits as we found our bags and meandered into the terminal.

The weather that night was very foggy, so our ferry departed at roughly 8:30 at night instead of the expected 6:30. We were all getting antsy waiting, so we had dinner and retired to our cabins, ready to start the fourteen hour journey to Jeju Island.

I wasted the calm night away dreaming about frolicking around the beautiful Pyoseon beach when the tide was low. My older brother Min Jun and I were chasing after the waves as they retreated and running away from them as they came back in. As Min Jun is as a year older than me, he would run faster and always escape the waves. I, on the other hand, would always get caught at the ankles by the waves. Seeing my frustration, Min Jun would run slower and pretend to be caught by the waves, falling and splashing around in the water. I would laugh at him because he always would look so silly in the way he over-exaggerated his movements. He would then get up and splash me before running back out of the grasp of the waves and we would continue our game. There was one round where the wave that came in was stronger than the others, moving faster than I could. The wave came in and knocked me right over, surprising both Min Jun and I. I could see the shock in his little eyes as he ran back to get me, carrying me out of the water and setting me on the dry sand. He ran over to our parents and returned with two popsicles in hand.

“Cheer up, when you grow up those waves will never catch you. You can even beat them up if you want to,” he told me as he sat down, handing over a popsicle.

Little did he know, those words are what motivated me to grow up and be a good person just like he was.

I woke up the next morning to one of my friend’s alarms, as she was in the bunk below mine. We all changed into back into our school uniforms and headed down to the area where breakfast was being served. It was a very simple yet humbling breakfast, which we all gladly ate, not knowing it would be our last.

Once we all finished, we returned the trays to the kitchen staff and, as instructed by our teachers, returned to our cabins. Once we arrived, someone broke out a pack of cards and we began to play a game of Go-Stop. We were all having so much fun that we lost track of time.

As we began playing what was probably our twelfth round of Go-Stop, the cards began to slide on the floor. We all looked at each other like we saw a ghost until someone pointed at a water bottle. The water inside was resting at an abnormal angle. It was then that we realised that we felt that the floor under us was tilted more than the natural sway of the ship would make it tilt. Regardless, none of us were too concerned about it until the communications officer started talking over the intercom.

At first, his words were “Do not move. Just stay where you are. It's dangerous if you move, so just stay where you are."

We all looked at each other not sure of what to think. We had a moment of silence as we all let the words swirl around in our minds before returning to our game. We continued to play until one of my friends got a text. She picked up her phone, going silent for a moment before reading the text out to us.

The text read “Hey hey, this ship is CAPSIZING! Choi Duk Ha from the class next to ours just called 119. This is crazy!”

We all looked at each other, the same reality sinking in for all of us: this is it, we may die here.

The next voice we heard was that of a female over the intercom. “Don’t stand up from where you are.” The voice filled the cabin. “Never, never move. Stay still. Stay where you are and stay still.”

She continued to repeat that over and over. We kept being told to stay still and remain where we were. At one point, she ordered everyone to find the nearest life vest and to put it on. Everyone in our cabin worked together to get the life vests out as distribute them amongst ourselves. Even after being ordered to put them on, we were never told to attempt to make it to the deck of the ship to escape. It was around this point at which we all began to feel the panic grow inside.

At this point I pulled out my phone to message my boyfriend, Kim Young Jin, he went to a different high school so thankfully he was not on this ship as well. As I opened up Kakao Talk, I could feel the tears start to form in my eyes. Today would have been our hundredth day together. A few days before the trip I had asked him if I should just skip the field trip so we could celebrate, but he told me to go have fun with my friends.

With his smiling face in my mind, I sent him the following messages:

“I was really happy during the last 99 days.”

“I really do like you very much.”

“Don’t feel too sad if you don’t hear back from me.” As I pressed send on the last message, the tears started to fall.

Next up was my family, I called them and told them what was happening to the ship. I told them how much I loved them and how grateful I was to have them as my parents. I expressed my regret that I would be unable to take care of them as they grew old and that I would probably leave this world before they did, breaking the promise we made with one another.

I asked my parents to pass the phone to my older brother, who I knew was slacking off in his room probably playing video games. When I heard his voice, my tears nearly doubled. Min Jun was the best brother in the world. He had taken care of me for my entire life, protecting me when I needed it, comforting me when I needed someone, and always there when I just needed company. I told him the thing I was never able to say before:

“Oppa, I love you so much, thank you. I will never forget what you have done for me.”

I could hear him choke up over the phone, but he tried to hide it so I wouldn’t notice him crying. I felt a huge pain in my chest as Min Jun never showed me anything other than his smiling face.

As my brother handed the phone back to my parents, they put it on speaker phone. I could not hang up the phone even as the ship continued to tilt at a scary angle, I love them too much to leave them like this. I refused to look out the porthole of our cabin, as I did not want to just see the blue water outside. All of my friends gathered in our cabin and we embraced each other, never letting go. Our cabin was located on the lower passenger decks, so we knew we were going to die here, even if we tried to escape.

I told my parents and brother I loved them one last time before hanging up and turning off my phone. All of my friends did the same, putting our phones behind us and focusing on each other.

“I am so glad that I could spend my last hours with all of you. You have been with me for the last two years through thick and thin. You have been such a source of support for me, so much so that I can’t even put it into words. I love you all and I hope you know that.” I told my friends. They all nodded in response as we linked armed and made our circle even closer.

We went around in the circle, all of us expressing our feelings, revealing secrets, talking about boys, and anything else teenage girls would gossip about. As we sat there talking, we started feeling the water encroaching on us. We knew that these would be our last few minutes together.

We held each other tight, closing our eyes, saying silent goodbyes to all of our friends and loved ones. I set my mind on Young Jin as I let the water make its way up my body and into my mouth. My last thought was Young Jin, with his face smiling towards me radiantly. “I love you,” I silently whispered, as the burning sensation of water filling my lungs became too much.