Time stopped..

It just stopped, at 12:47 pm on a Wednesday. The wind was blowing outside. The children were asleep and I have just been told the most horrible news any husband could receive. 
Tears were running down his beautiful flawless face. 
"Jin... I have news" he started. 
"Alright? What is it baby" I asked. Something didn't seem right. His voice was off. 
"I went to the doctors." he started. His eyes filling with tears. 
That's when I knew. Something was wrong. Before I knew it tears were running down my face, and he even didn't even say anything. But he didn't need to. 
I knew. 
I looked at him as more tears ran down his face. He wiped my tears away with his thumb. Causing more tears to fall.
"I have lung cancer" once he said that,
Time stopped. It stood still just like the air.
I choked on a sob as I broke down crying. But he didn't. How? I wasn't the one that had cancer he does. Is it because I wasn't going to die. But when I looked up at that moment.
I was mistaken.
Tears fell from his eyes. He was silent but I knew, inside he was sobbing. 
"Is it bad?" I asked threw tears. 
A small but powerful breath of air left him before he spoke.
"I've had it for a while..." he started as he stopped to collect himself. 
"I have one year maximum" 
I cried harder as his grip became tighter.
"I'm trying chemotherapy baby" a small but powerful bundle of faith filled up inside me he could make it.
That night when everyone was asleep, I looked at my wedding ring as I remembered our wedding and how wonderful it was and fun, and beautiful... Tears found there way to my eyes as I wiped them away. 
He's strong 
~Two months later~
I was cooking dinner while the kids were in the living room when Namjoon walked in. His face was thin and he smiled at me. I smiled back and kissed his lips.
"How'd it go baby?" i asked, tears fell from his eyes.
"What's wrong....?" 
He kept his hold and didn't say anything,.after a good three minutes he took a breath. 
"I stopped Chemotherapy" my heart sank... 
"W-What?"
Tears were running down his face. 
"It's not working.... I'm on stage four anyways.." I broke. I started crying, loudly. as he held me in his arms hugging me tightly 
"My poor baby" he said while kissing my head. 
"N-no! You. Can't!" he my long hair kissing my head. 
"We've been through so much together right?" he asked still hugging me. 
I nodded weakly, 
"And you know that as much as I know that I won't make it we'll still try getting through this together hmm?" 
I broke. I was angry. 
"I CAN'T ING LET YOU GO OK?"
He starts crying more, 
"Please stop" I shake my head rapidly and he cupped my face and kissed my nose, 
"Baby I love you" he said. I sob more as my hug became tighter.
That's when it hit me. I'm losing my life.

That night I laid numb in bed looking at my wedding band, tears falling from my face.
He promised forever... And he's leaving..

~Time laps~
Namjoons fragile body was laying in the hospital bed. Breathing calm and his hair was gone, I sat by him with his hand in mine while Arabeth and Jeremy were asleep on the chair. 
A few moments later, Namjoon woke up. He turned towards me and gave me a small smile before coughing loudly.
"Hey Baby boy" tears filled my eyes at that nickname.
"Hey baby"
A faint smile grew on his face but it was soon replaced with a cough. I kissed his hand and smiled back.
"Hey Jin-Jin?" he asked his voice cracking 
"Yeah Joonie?"
It was quiet for a second before he replied.
"May I have one last kiss" tears filled my eyes more as I stood up and pressed my lips to his, tears finally falling.
The world slowed down as I kissed him more. Finally when I pulled back he smiled. 
"Oh Jin I love you" he said. he handed me a white envelope.
"Don't read it until you go home alright?" I nod slowly. 
"You'll be a great mama Jin" I was now crying. 
"You are the best thing that's happened to me" he replied.
"Hey Joonie?"
"Yeah Jin?" 
"I'll miss you" a small sad smile formed on his face as he grabbed my hand the best he could. 
"I'll miss you more kiddo, can I kiss Arabeth and Jeremy one last time?"
"Of course baby" I picked them up and brought them to Namjoon. After Joonie kissed them,
I was about to say something when I saw him slowly close his eyes.
"I'm tired" he said. And he fell asleep.

Around three in the morning he was pronounced dead. His heart stopped beating. I remember having the biggest headache alive because of how much I cried. I need Namjoon... I want my Joonie bear. 
When I got home tears falling from my face I reached in my pocket and found the letter. I gasped and practically ripped open the envelope. But when I held that letter in my hands, I almost decided against reading it but I had to,.. So I opened it. 
Dear the love of my life SeokJin,
Hey boo, it's Namjoon I just wanted to say that I love you. So much, I'd give you the stars in the galaxy. I'd give you the world. Now, I know we didn't live a long life together like we had planned. But with the days and weeks and years you've given me, together and not together. You made me happy. We made memories that could live a life time. I want you to make more memories with our kids and I want you to find a man and make memories with him as well. I love you Jin. I'm so sorry I had to go. 
But I love you ok? Nothing can change that. I love you and I want you to know. I had an amazing journey with you <3 I love you Jin. Forever and always.
-Kim SeokJin 

I was crying when I finished reading it as I threw the letter and I fell to the ground crying. 
I can't believe he's gone..