#04 the confession

“                                      

What a beautiful accident

A miraculous arrangement

Letting me understand

what love is

”

“She knew I hung out with you so that’s no excuse for her behavior.”

“Maybe she’s just confused.”

“Maybe, but she didn’t even want to hear you, or me, out.”

The day they broke up it was raining heavily. It was funny how the weather seemed to know how events of the day would play out. From the moment I woke up, to that moment when I stared at them through the glass windows of café blanc with a million thoughts rushing through my mind, it hadn’t stopped raining.

It was your typical Kdrama scene – heavy rain paltering against the ground, breathtakingly handsome boy holding a transparent umbrella with pretty girl in front of him while they stared at each other. I watched as pretty girl finally broke eye contact and the dam broke, breathtakingly handsome boy struggling to comfort her. He hesitantly raised a hand up to her back as I had seen him do multiple times that day, but retracted it at the last moment, letting it fall to his side. I felt like I could understand why he couldn’t comfort her. He wasn’t in the position to bring her comfort when he was the one putting her through the pain at that moment. He took the effort to start the fire, he was in no position to try to put it out.

I didn’t know a thing about their relationship for Ji Soo stopped updating me after a while. I never questioned it, I just assumed she might have wanted to keep it private and I respected that. Thus, I never probed into her relationship. Whatever she wants to tell me, she will, I thought.

There were only two outcomes to the scene I was observing. Number one, they break up. Number two, they don’t. I didn’t even know why I was here today. Jisoo had called me that morning, telling me to make my way down to café blanc at noon – it had been a while since we hung out so I was more than excited to catch up with her. The moment I saw her boyfriend trailing alongside her when I looked up earlier, my smile faltered. It wasn’t that I wasn’t glad to see them – I was. How could I not when it was my best friend? How could I not when it was the one person I was harboring feelings for?  It was great to see them, but seeing them together brought me back to the reality I didn’t want to face.

What was I here for? Why did I have to bear witness to this?

I directed my gaze to the glass panel again. Baekhyun turned his head in my direction at that second, his eyes locking with mine. They were a distant away, but I could feel the frustration in his brown orbs and strangely, the fire of want in his eyes. I watched as Jisoo puzzledly followed his line of sight, her eyes eventually landing on me. I turned to look at her instead, and at that moment I suddenly felt like cowering under the power of her the intenseness in her expression. There was a flicker of something when her eyes met mine, but I couldn’t figure it out. Some sort of pain and understanding flashed across her orbs, she stayed looking at me for a good thirty seconds before something seemed to click in her. Now, I watched as she grabbed the umbrella from Baekhyun, muttering something angrily to him before storming towards the café.

I stood wide eyed as she approached me and slammed her hand against the table surface. She looked like a mess, with frustration and confusion radiating off her to be frustrated and confused, and these emotions only intensified when I asked her if she was okay, firstly because I was worried for her and secondly because a few people in the café were watching our little drama unfold.

“No, I’m not. I – “She stopped mid-sentence, sighing in frustration.

Then she turned to me with newfound fire in her eyes. “Do you like Baekhyun?”

I stood there dumbfounded, my mouth agape. I already knew the answer to this question but how could I out rightly tell her this when she looked like she would kick me to the curb if anything I said didn’t satisfy her?

“Why?” I shakily laughed, unconsciously twirling my hair with my fingers – a habit that surfaced whenever I was put in a spot. “What makes you think that way…”

“It’s a simple yes or a no.” She hissed, menace lining her tone. I was taken aback, for in our 5 years of friendship, I’d never heard her speak to me in this tone and manner.

“I – “My eyes darted from side to side against my will, as I searched my brain for a politically correct answer. She rolled her eyes when she saw that I couldn’t answer her question, and in that moment, I knew that I was screwed.

“Leave her out of it. This has nothing to do with her.”

Baekhyun stood there with his now ash brown hair dripping with rain water, and black shirt soaked from the heavy downpour. He must have followed her in when he saw her confronting me. If I wasn’t in the tight situation I currently was in, I would have taken more time to appreciate the beauty of Byun Baekhyun drenched in water. I hurriedly shook my illegal thoughts aside.

Ji Soo had her arms crossed over her chess with a haughty expression on her face. I was starting to dislike the way she was staring at me, as if I was some sort of trash that she couldn’t even stand to look at. There is a saying that says a person’s true colours are revealed when they’re in a tough situation. If that statement is true, was this the real Ji Soo that had been hiding under the façade of a nice and friendly best friend?

“Why are you defending her?” She snarled. “Byun Baekhyun, do you possibly like her?”

Baekhyun was silent for a few seconds. When I stole a glance at him, he had on an emotionless façade. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking and it frustrated me. Just as I was about to open my mouth to defend myself, Baekhyun beat me to it.

“Kang Ji Soo, do you possibly like me?”

It was so silent you could hear a pin drop. Ji Soo’s eyes were as wide as saucers, and the only thing that gave her away was the fact that both her hands were clenched into a fist. Just as she knew my habits, I had observed her as thoroughly as she did to me, and the Ji Soo before me was extremely shocked and taken aback because she only had one answer to Baekhyun’s question and it was an answer nobody would have expected to hear.

Ji Soo was never one to care about investing feelings into her relationships. Her reaction to Baekhyun’s question clearly spoke for itself: she liked him. She liked him even though their relationship was based on a dare to begin with. No one saw it coming, and even though Baekhyun wore an impassive expression on his face, I’m sure even he was shocked as he deciphered her silent answer. There was a time when I thought I would never see the day when Ji Soo would like someone genuinely.

“You like me,” Baekhyun paused, lazily directing his eyes in her direction. He looked like a mix of angry and unamused, and it was scaring me for I had no idea how to act around such a side of him. “Is this how you are when you like someone? You yell at your best friend whom you consider your competitor because you’re jealous, even though she’s been nothing but considerate to you?”

“Baekhyun.” I muttered, hesitantly grabbing onto his shirt. I pulled lightly to get his attention. “It’s okay, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have hung out so carefreely with you.”

“No! Stop making excuses for her. It’s not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong.” He exclaimed, whirling around to face me. Shocked, I instinctively let go of his shirt and took a step back in surprise. I had never seen this side of him before and I would be lying if I said I was intimidated by it. His eyes softened when he noticed my reaction, and I could tell he felt sorry for making me scared when he reached forward and lightly touched my elbow, and looked at me with apologetic eyes.

This obviously didn’t go unnoticed by Ji Soo, and in that moment when I was caught up in Baekhyun’s gaze, she had stormed out of the café. I stood up in surprise, a little taken aback by her sudden departure. Clearly, she was mad, and I felt uneasy about the fact that she probably hated my guts now. Worriedly, I reached for my phone on the table and quickly punched in the number that I had memorized by heart. I only managed to hear the dial tone once before the phone was wrenched away from my ear. In a blink, Baekhyun was grabbing my phone from me and ending the call immediately.

“Give me the phone,” I said exasperatedly. “She’s upset with me, I need to talk to her.”

“No.” He said firmly. His hair dripped of rain water, his black shirt was soaked from the heavy downpour. If we hadn’t been in this situation I would have simply found it difficult to concentrate when he had shoved his disgustingly handsome face right in front of me with a determined expression that made my heart flutter, as droplets of water from his face continuously dripped onto my arm.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter