Everything is so dismal and gloomy in my life. I'm not living a happy life , I just act. Like a robot everyday.
Eating , sleeping and working are my only companies in this lonely life .
Don't get the idea wrong , I have lot of friends but by concealing the true feelings in my heart, which are killing me second by second, they can't understand me.
They see me smiling and cheerful all the time but who can hear the crashing sound in my heart? 
I can't blame anyone for it. It's my own fault. 
I miss him like crazy.
Every time I open my eyes , just to look at those brown eyes.
I , Byun Baekhyun, regret all the decision that I have made about him and his love.

Five years ago.
 

Baekhyun's Pov 

Tomorrow, our final exams are coming and I'm stressed already. Despite being one of the good students of Seoul high school ' ehem one of the top ones actually ' I'm praying for the best.
I'm looking for a test book when I feel a weight on my shoulder. I turn to see who has dared to disturb my precious time , 

" Park Chanyeol! Stop bothering me in the school time!! " I hiss at him and rub my temples to control my anger.

He looks so sad for a moment by hearing my response but I brush off the feelings and scoff at his behavior.
He is faster and grabs me by arm.

" Let's go on a date." He says firmly.
 I sigh and take a sit on the chair , so he does.

" Listen , if you do not study it's okay . But you aren't in the right place to force me to not studying as well."

He crosses his arms and leans on the chair.
" This excuse is old already Baekhyun. Come up with something new at least."

Ohh God he is back to his cold and doubter self.

I try to reach for his hand but he backs away.
" What do you mean?"

He chuckles.

" Every time I come to you, you say Chanyeol this, Chanyeol that. And you escape from me. "

I shake my head to deny it but I can read him by his face. He doesn't believe me.

" I'm not escaping from you! But most of time you come to me in the bad time.. You know I should study and it matters to me so much."

" More than me??"
I shake my head again. Why he is mixing things up?

" What do you mean?? You know that I love you so much. Why you compare two different things with each other?"

He smirks . Yes he doesn't believe a word of my mouth.

" Okay. Let's imagine for a minute that all those s you told minutes ago were right. Would you explain why each time I let you go to study, I find you speaking with that midget, Kyung soo?!"

I hate myself cause despite this long term relationship, I haven't gained any trust in his eyes. He thinks I dump him every time?

" You are misunderstanding things! I never tried to get rid of you, sometimes he has a question or brings a topic. So I should listen to him and sometimes I make a comment! Believe me please."

How pathetic. I'm insisting my boyfriend to hear me not the others.

" Okay ... I believe you.. You don't make a mistake anytime.. Kyung soo has been worried, go to him sooner."

And he stands up and leaves me behind. Tear drops roll down from my face.

" no ... you don't trust me Chanyeol ... You don't ."

I pack my belongings slowly and move forward to exit the library. It's actually the closing time and I have sat here for two hours without even shooting glance at a page. In the whole time being alone here, I was thinking about myself and Chanyeol.
He is right , most of the time he asks me out, I reject him. But not on purpose or anything, because of my conditions.
Chanyeol and me aren't same. Our heights are different, he is a tall handsome boy when I'm a shorty. He is the captain of our basketball team when I don't know anything unless studying. Chanyeol is the attractive and gold junior in the high school when I am a lonely boy.
Even our families are different . Chanyeol is from a rich family, excuse me extremely rich. when my family is so poor. That's why I should study for the scholarship for Seoul international university, I should release my dad from university's fees and other expenses.
When I close the library door behind myself, I feel a pair of arms around my neck that are pushing me to a chest and warm hug.

" Where have you been?? I was worried sick about you not to be in peril." 

I pat on kyung soo's back to show him that how thankful and happy I am to have him by my side.

" Soo, I'm okay. Really!!"

Kyung soo releases me from