August 2016

Jieun stared at her smartphone, debating how to reply to Joongi’s latest text message. She lay in bed in her pajamas, feet up against the wall, her heart starting to pound in her chest. Last night was the Scarlet Heart Ryeo press conference and there were so many times she thought she saw Joongi stealing glances at her.  Combined with Joongi’s latest text message, she contemplated the possibility that Joongi loved her back. Was it possible?

Since her realization last month that she loved him, she critically analyzed his every move and word. What he wrote in his Instagram posts, what he said in interviews, what he wrote in the Scarlet Heart main cast group chat, what he wrote to her in their private chats. The morning after that night, Joongi had sent her a text asking how she was. From there, they started a text exchange that for the last month left her flush with excitement with each message. At first the exchange was cautious, friendly but polite. Then they became more personal. They talked about their days and schedules, what was on their minds at any given moment. She felt certain that Joongi was her best friend and knew her the better than anyone else. Sometimes he could predict what she was thinking, as if he could read her mind. This had to be more than a sunbae, hoobae relationship, right?

“I’m outside your building, come out and meet me.” Followed by a winking cat emoji.

Why was he outside her building at 8pm on a weeknight? She was desperate to find out. Her heart continued pounding, she was nervous. Eventually her curiosity got the better of her and she typed out “On my way.”

She changed into sweatpants, a hoodie, and a baseball hat and exited her bedroom quietly. She still lived at home with her parents and brother and her parents would ask too many questions if they saw her leaving the apartment. While putting on her shoes she saw her brother leave his room to go to the kitchen. They made eye contact. She put her finger to to indicate the shush motion. Her brother raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything and continued walking towards the kitchen. Once in the hallway she put on her facemask and made her way to the elevator.

Once she exited her building she looked around for a figure that matched Joongi’s tall and lean build. She spotted someone waving an arm at her and she walked towards the figure. The figure also wore a baseball hat and facemask. Once closer she recognized Joongi’s eyes. They were intense yet full of frenetic energy.

“Oppa? What are you doing here?” 

“I wanted to see you, Jieun-ah.” Came a teasing voice.

Jieun smiled behind her facemask. Did he know the effect he had on her? “Well, Oppa, I’m here.”

“Let’s go for a walk.” He put his arms around her shoulders and steered her towards the sidewalk that led to the main street. Jieun felt like she couldn’t even move her legs properly because of the proximity of Joongi. Her legs moved stiffly and she felt like the air around them was thick.

After a few moments of silent walking, Joongi reach into his pocket to fish something out and offered the contents of his hand to her. Jieun looked at the gummy candy that was in his hand. He remembered. A week ago she told him that her favourite candy from her childhood was this particular sour gummy candy that was now hard to come by.

She stopped walking and stared at his hand. “Oppa.” She said softly. This had to mean something, this candy was not sold in most stores but he had found it and was now offering it to her.

Joongi suddenly became shy and put his hand behind his head and nervously laughed. “Jieun-ah, I saw this in a store and thought of our last conversation.”

Jieun took the candy from his hand. Her hand grazed his while doing so, his hand was warm and soft. She stared at him. The last eight months flashed before her eyes. 

“I love you.” She blurted the words out before she knew it. As soon as she said them she turned beet red. Was her brain betraying her? What possessed her to do such a thing?

She saw Joongi look at her with shock. Before she could register what was happening, she was running away from him down the street. She managed to make good distance before Joongi recovered from the shock and chased after her. She was no match for his long legs and athleticism. His arms wrapped her from behind to stop her from running.

“Jieun-ah, wait. Stop running!” He wasn’t even out of breath. She was wheezing. Why she so out of shape? That was 50 metres at most. She didn’t dare turn around to look him in the eyes. Her face was on fire. He took her hand and led them to a small park beside the street. There was no one else there.

“Oppa, forget what I said. Hahaha. I meant I love the candy.” She explained lamely while avoiding his eyes. 

His hand still held onto hers. He dropped her hand to remove his facemask and hers. His hands reached to hold her hands again.

“Jieun-ah.” His voice thick with emotion. “Please don’t ever run from me.”

The tone of his voice made her look at him. His eyes stared at her intensely. She didn’t know what to say. The air was buzzing with tension and emotion

His eyes searched her face. He raised one of his hands to cup her face tenderly. She suddenly had a feeling of deja-vu because she was certain they had filmed this scene for Scarlet Heart Ryeo. The thought made her crack a smile and she bit her lip to barely stifle her laugh. Joongi gave her a bewildered look.

“I’m sorry, Oppa. But doesn’t this feel like a kiss scene that we filmed?”

This made Joongi laugh. The tension dissipated but Jieun still felt nervous since Joongi still had one hand cupping her face.

“Jieun-ah” Joongi said after regaining his composure. “Don’t run from me. Stay with me. Always.”

Jieun felt her insides melt. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

“Oppa, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you too, Jieun-ah.”

She averted her eyes and blushed scarlet. He loved her back. At this very moment she could die happy. Her body once again took action before she knew what was happening. She hugged Joongi fiercely. Her face tight against his chest. She felt his arms wrap tightly around her.

“I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way, Jieun-ah. You broke up with Kiha two months ago and I wasn’t sure if you were ready to date yet. I kept hoping.” He murmured into her hair. She responded by hugging him even tighter. She didn’t have anything to say.

Joongi gently pulled back. He gently put both hands around her face and lowered to her to kiss her. Their lips met, giving each other a gentle kiss. They parted and their eyes met, each realizing that they wanted more. They moved in for a deeper kiss.

When they finally parted, Joongi hugged her tightly again.

“Jieun-ah. Come over to my place tonight.”

She blushed. He was thinking of already?

He read her mind. “No, I don’t want us to rush. But I don’t want us to spend the rest of the night here or end our night.”

She nodded her head silently. They put their facemasks back on and hailed a cab to Joongi’s apartment.

Once at his apartment, he gave her a quick tour and introduced her to his five dogs. They agreed that they would introduce their dogs to each other soon. They sat on his couch and talked for the next several hours. Eventually Jieun started to yawn. Joongi took that as a cue and ushered her to his bedroom. He offered her a toothbrush and a clean shirt to sleep in. They brushed their teeth together and giggled. After brushing his teeth, Joongi went to his bed and lifted the covers and Jieun eagerly scrambled in with Joongi joining her. They cuddled with Joongi being the big spoon and Jieun being the little spoon. Again, Jieun laughed in her head because of the déjà vu from the Scarlet Heart Ryeo filming

Joongi fell asleep first and Jieun looked at him while he slept. He slept on his back and Jieun watched his chest rise and fall with his breathing. She smiled, this was the man she was going to one day marry.