Seunghyun

I made my way to the kitchen, navigating through the pitch-black apartment. Irene was out of town for some work and I had the place to myself. I had 3 meetings from morning till afternoon and I was exhausted. I poured a glass of red wine as I sat muted at the dining table, only a single white light illuminated above me. I took out my phone and began checking my emails until I found one from Alice. We haven’t spoken since she last left New York. Excitedly I read the email.

To: Choi Seunghyun & Yoon Irene

Together with their families

Kwon Jiyong

&

Park Soyoung Alice

Invites you to celebrate their marriage!

Saturday August 19^th 2012

At seven o’ clock in the evening

Soneva Fushi Resort

Kunfunadhoo Island, Baa Atoll, Republic of Maldives

Dinner & Dancing to follow

Dress code: All white

Flights & Accommodations are provided only upon RSVP

RSVP:

Jung Yong Hyuk

Sandara Park

Kwon Dami

Alice Park

I gulped down the wine I had in my glass and poured myself another then another then another. To say I was heartbroken was an understatement, words could not describe how I felt as I read line by line. A knot began forming in my throat as the thoughts began overwhelming me and in a moment of frustration I threw my phone on floor. I hated what I saw. Tears began pouring down my face and I screamed my defeat in anguish. Anger was beginning to consume me. I guzzled another glass of wine and poured myself more. Like in high school, he keeps winning but maybe this time it was partially my fault because I provoked her to communicate with Jiyong or because I was neglecting her. But then again, I wasn’t in a position that allowed me to love her like I would. As I said before, I have a fiancé and a baby on the way. The thought of seeing her with another man was slowly killing me inside and all I could do was drown my sorrow with wine.

“Yah! You pacing left and right is just going to ruin your dress! Aigoo! Seriously Alice? Your makeup is gonna get smudged.” Dara exasperated as she pulled Alice who has been pacing an entire 5 minutes to sit.

“I’m just excited to see the guest coming.”

“What you actually mean is you are hoping for a miracle that Seunghyun would suddenly show up, poof out of thin air all the way from New York. And somehow, he’d replace me being the maid of honour? No, No, no…He didn’t even bother to say he wasn’t coming. End of story.”

“Aniyo”

“So if he is here then what? Are you expecting him to suddenly raise his hands and be like ‘I object this wedding’?”

“Sandara Park! I didn’t say that! I’m completely certain with all my heart that I’m marrying Jiyong. No questions asked.”

“Well, good! Then put yourself together and breath. Ahh, yeapoda!” She said as she handed me a bouquet of pink and red roses. Dara smiled happily, clasping her hands in excitement.

We had a small wedding with only family and a few close friends who were mostly Jiyong’s label mates. The evening breeze was rejuvenating as it blew in from the sea bringing with it the salty taste of the sea. Canopies that lined the beach front was illuminated by dim yellow lights and candles. The whole reception area was decorated by exotic orchids native to the Maldives. Guest were slowly coming in as they sat on the white folded chairs waiting for the arrival of the bride and groom. A podium was standing at the end of an assembled aisle which was lined by white candles along the way. Next to the podium was a string quintet of violins, cello, bass and harp. The vibe that evening was full of melancholy and romance as Beyonce’s Halo was played to serenade the guest. Soon, a dapper Jiyong walked up towards the priest who had been waiting for him at the podium, followed by his bestman, Youngbae. They both were well-dressed in their tuxedos. The nervous groom wore a white Versace tuxedo with a slim fit cut and black satin trim on the lapel paired with black trousers, white shirt, black bow tie and black cummerbund. His black shoes were glistening under the light. He exudes the very definition of classy and timeless style evoking memories of Casablanca and James Bond. He fidgeted in anxiety, his hands kept tugging on the hem of his suit every few seconds. As scheduled, the string quintet began playing Johann Pachelbel’s Canon in D major. The maid of honor, Dara walked in holding a bouquet of white lilies. Dara wore a beige fit and flare dress. She was then followed by Lily, Haru and Yeonjun, the girls were carrying a basket of rose petals each while Yeonjun carried the rings. Both children excitedly threw the petals to the ground. While Yeonjun smiled happily at the crowd. Jiyong waved proudly at his daughter. Lily ran down the aisle, leaving Haru behind and into Jiyong’s arm. He gladly carried his princess as they waited for the bride to enter. Soon, the brides march was played and Alice entered arm in arm with her father. The blushing bride wore a white princess dress with rhinestones all over the bodice and veil. The dress shimmered beautifully under the dim lights.

I, Kwon Jiyong take you, Park Soyoung to be my wife, my partner in life.
I promise you my unconditional love,
my fullest devotion, my most tender care for both you and Lily and our future children.
Through the pressures of the present
and the uncertainties of the future,
I promise to love you, honor, respect
and cherish you all the days of our lives

You are everything I need and I promise to be here forever and always

I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities,
to lend you strength to reach your dreams
I promise to take care of you, to encourage and inspire you,
asking that you be no other than yourself

From this day forward you shall not walk alone
My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home

As I place it on your finger, I give you all that I am,
and all that I shall become.

I, Park Soyoung take you, Kwon Jiyong to be my husband, my life partner.

I promise you my unconditional love,

My fullest devotion, my most tender care for both you and Lily and our future children.

I give you my promise that from this day forward
I will give you all my love, and you shall not walk alone.
I have no greater gift to give.
As your love is my anchor, and your trust is my strength,
May my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home.
As this ring has no end or beginning, so shall my love for you be.
As I place it on your finger, I give you all that I am,
and all that I shall become.

“With the power in bestowed in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Announced the priest and with that Jiyong dived in for a kiss causing Alice to bend backwards. His right hand firmly holding her back whilst his left held her neck tenderly. Her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulder. The guest roared in applause, cheering on the newlyweds.

“Do I look fat?” Irene asked as she stared into the mirror, examining every inch of her body.

Seunghyun was so engrossed in his phone. She threw a pillow at him, trying to catch his attention.

“YAH CHOI SEUNGHYUN!” she yelled.

“WHAT? Why do you have to be angry at me all the time?” he yelled angrily to her face.

She had her arms crossed in front of her chest; she was fuming and glaring furiously at him. She stared deep into his brown eyes.

“I’m not angry. I just want your attention.”

“Ok, what?” he asked slightly annoyed.

“Who are you texting?”

“I’m not texting anyone.”

“Give me your phone.” She demanded.

“No”

“Do you have secrets in there? Are you texting other women? Do you have pictures of other women in there?”

“What the hell is wrong with you? No, no, no. None of those.”

“Then are you texting Alice?”

“No”

“Bull! Are you cheating on me with her? Wae? You text her so much that you won’t listen to me! Why can’t you answer that Choi Seunghyun?”

“I’m not texting her.”

“Yeah right Choi. She’s getting married tomorrow. Get over her. You lost to Kwon Jiyong. I can go into labor any day now and all you are thinking of is some other girl.”

“Shut up! See! There you go again. You just can’t trust me. It is as if you are accusing me of something I didn’t do. The problem here is you. You keep trying to check my phone. As if I’m the one cheating but maybe you’re the one who’s afraid of their own shadow.”

“Well, I’m a girl. I have my right to be insecure.”

“That’s bull.”

The anger surged inside him. The rage he felt every time they had a fight and that was always. Cold sweat dripped down his creased forehead. He could feel the heat escaping his head. The blood under his skin were boiling and tingling in fury. His fist clenched so tightly that they turned pale white. His breathing was rapid as if fume could escape through his ears. The veins that were in his hands drained of blood. He picked up his black coat from the couch and paced his footsteps towards the house door. He dashed pass her.

“No, I can’t do this. I’m not doing this right now.” He muttered under his breath.

“Don’t you dare walk away? CHOI SEUNGHYUN! YOU ARE ALWAYS SO MOODY EVER SINCE SHE SENT HER WEDDING INVITES!” she screamed at the top of her lungs.

“YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HER AREN’T YOU?” She wanted answers and she demanded them now.

“YES! YES! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR ME SAY?”

“YAH! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD?” she screamed as she caressed her burgeoning belly.

He swung open the door in front of him. In a moment of hesitation, he stood rooted in front of the door that stood ajar. His fingers were firmly touching the brass doorknob. His whole body was shivering with anger. He slowly exhaled air out of his mouth in his attempts to release the frustration from their constant quarrels. His chiselled cheeks puffed as he took a moment to think of what to do next. Slowly, he turned around to face the girl who stood rooted in the crisp white living room. He ran his fingers through his perfectly angled platinum blond hair, messing it in annoyance. She was staring silently at him. Her doe eyes glistening as tears began to brim the edge of her eyes. It was a dead silence and the only audible noise was the fire that crackled in the fireplace that kept the house warm. His lips were drying up. Slowly he his chapped lips wet. A small smile forced itself on Seunghyun’s façade.

“Mother of my child? Let’s just stop pretending. I know you had an affair with Mark. So LET’S JUST CUT THE CRAP ONCE AND FOR ALL, IS THE BABY EVEN REALLY MINE?”

A sombre expression was clearly painted on both their faces. It took her a moment but slowly she shook her head and the tears that were building up in her eyes began rolling down her pink cheeks, leaving black mascara trails behind. She avoided his gaze and turned to face the crackling fire behind her. She cradled the tiny bump that was beginning to show, it softly.

“I knew it.” He muttered under his breath.

“I’m sorry. I can explain. I want you to be the baby's father. Please.”

“It takes two to tango Irene. So just keep your dumb excuses. I’m done listening to you.”

Seunghyun heaved a heavy sigh of disappointment. Anger, pain and sorrow painted clearly across his face.

“Mother of my child?” he chuckled.

Carefully she shook her head, trying to deny him the answer.

“You know what? It doesn’t even matter. We’re done. I’m calling off the wedding.”

“Seunghyun please. I’m sorry. I want you. Please. I’ll do anything. You want me to abort the baby? Fine but please stay.” She begged and begged, tugging of Seunghyun’s sleeve.

“Keep the baby.” Angrily he yanked his hand away, staring out of the ajar door.

“I’m happy for you and Mark.”

“Run Seunghyun! Run to Alice! You think you can stop their wedding?” she asked provokingly.

He heaved in despair and he turned around, stepping out of the house slamming the door behind him.

The pain in my heart was immense, not only did the girl I was going to marry cheated on me with my business partner, it’s even worse to find out the baby wasn’t even mine to begin with. Even if she was cheating on me, I would have forgiven her if the baby was mine. I would have stayed. I would have overlooked her mistakes. I would have accepted her faults, flaws and mistakes as it was. If only the baby was mine. I was ready. I was really looking forward to being a father. I was excited at the thought of starting a family. And the pain of all of that being ripped away from you, you might as well just die.