I fiddled with the straps of my bag as I stood in front of my locker. I could not believe Areum had the audacity to skip school, TODAY of all days. It was literally the first day of second year and she left me to fend for myself amongst these monsters. 

I mean, sure I could hang out with Seul, Ara and Ji but it didn't change the fact that none of them were in my class. And because today was the first day of school, the whole day was probably going to be just homeroom all day long. How exciting. 

I banged my head against my locker, albeit too loudly, cringing at the sound it made. I twisted my head and glared at the locker across mine, void of it's owner. I have never felt more betrayed. 

Before I looked away, I noticed the group of third years huddled by the locker beside Areum's, trying to stifle their laughter at my actions. My cheeks tinged red and I quickly straightened myself before fixing my hair and walking (more like unsubtle running) away. 

To: ReumReum💖
7.45am
I want to die 

From: ReumReum💖
7.47am
I'll bring your favourite flowers to the funeral <3

I squinted my eyes at my phone, the audacity. 

Quickly pressing the button, I switched my phone off, before sliding into my assigned seat. Giving a small bow of acknowledgement to my teacher as I sat down. She had been my homeroom teacher since I transferred to West Academy back in Middle Classman year 2. She was also the reason I transferred to SOLA from the academic stream. She always knew I was quiet but every time I had submitted an essay, she always came up to me to discuss it thoroughly with me as if it was her way of encouraging me to speak up. And between these discussions, I fell in love with writing and all the wonderful things that came with it. I knew of her habit of coming to class 10 minutes before class even began and I glanced down at my watch, making sure I wasn't late. The empty seat beside me made me quieter than usual.

Class was unusually boring today, it was the first day school so it wasn't filled with the usual banter and lively discussions. The bell rang signalling break time and I grabbed my wallet and phone before heading down to the shared cafeteria. 

Shared because SOPA (School of Performing Arts) and my school, SOLA ( School of Literary Arts), had a joint cafeteria. It was on the second floor, instead of the first floor like the schools main cafeteria, it was also the room that joined the two schools. 

I was walking into the cafeteria before I felt a body slam into me, causing me to stumble forward. 

"Oh , my bad, you okay there?" a voice said, I turned and just waved my hand in dismissal. Realising that it was Kai I felt the blood slowly going to my cheeks I quickly bowed, Kai and his friends were Year 3s, and entered the cafeteria. 

It's been a year since I first noticed Kai. 

It was in my first year as an upperclassmen, also my first year having a joint cafeteria with the SOPA students. During my second or third day in the cafeteria, I was lining up to buy a drink when I looked up from my phone and noticed broad shoulders ahead of me, the head bobbing to the music streaming from the pods in his ears. I looked away, I didn't want to be confronted for staring at a senior. Before I could get back to focusing on my phone again, I was shoved from the back by some first years playing around, which caused me to stumble forward and knocking into the distracted male. 

"I'm so sorry" I murmured before shuffling backwards. I didn't think that he heard me from the music blasting in his ears, but the small smile he had shot my way in reassurance told me otherwise. And after that I was a goner, it was almost like he was following me. Everywhere I went I saw him. In the cafeteria, the main building and even in the hallways sometimes. 

I don't really know how the crush had started, maybe it was because I saw him so often. Or it could be because of the way his hair looked so soft and fluffy all the time. The way he laughed and fooled around with his friends also made me admire his ability to be so open and friendly. It was a trait that I very much lacked. 

Shaking away my thoughts , I brought my tray of food to where Ara was animatedly talking about whatever she was talking about. The way her hands were flailing about made me chuckle to myself. 

"I could imagine what you're talking about from a mile away" I said as I sat down. "NEUL" I felt myself going deaf in the ear that Ji had screamed in. "You have to listen to Ara's story it's almost to odd to be real" a laughing Yeseul said. Giving a small smile of acknowledgement I motioned for Ara to continue her story. "Anyways I was talking about how during the year break I fell into the pond of my vacation house. I literally thought I was going to die" my eyes widened in surprise, Ara didn't need any words from me to know what I was thinking "RIGHT? I mean I wouldn't even been sitting here today if not for the swimming lessons we were forced to take back in Lower Year 3" I shrugged "Can't relate" referring to my absence during the time.  

Ara was a drama student from SOPA which explains her excessive usage of actions to bring her stories to life. But we had been friends since my time as an academic student before we transferred out together, although to different majors. Seul was a dance major from SOPA that Ara had dragged into our small group. Ji Eun on the other hand was a Korean Literature major that I had met last year during Upperclassman orientation, the traitor that left me to my doom was an English literature major like me and was my only close friend in homeroom. 

"Areum betrayed me today" groaning out the last syllable I stabbed the small piece of chicken on my plate. "Okay hold it there Miss future murderer" I rolled my eyes at Seul who grinned at me. "Didn't Areum say that she hated first days of school because they were I quote 'oh so boring and miserable'" and I nodded disgruntled by the information I had forgotten. All three of them laughed at my dismay and I tried so hard not to roll my eyes back into my head. 

I shifted my eyes away and saw Kai sitting a few tables away, sipping on his orange juice. The way his hair fell over his eyes made me want to run over and ruffle it. 
This was one of the few times I could see him during school time, him being in SOPA and me being in SOLA meant that we had classes in different buildings. Other times I saw him were when he was running errands for his teachers in our building or in the main building before and after school.

I knew better than to let my gaze settle for too long, it would bring about unwanted attention to me and I was never a person who was up for confrontation.