Standing off to the side near the bathrooms, Yoongi watches as his managers talk to the front desk about boarding the plane for their concert in the states, its just the regular same old boring route that takes about 20 minutes every time they try to travel out of their country.

 

Fans think they're already in Florida so the airport is fairly quiet beside the chatter of other people speaking amongst themselves. 

 

Nari was excited thinking that they were actually traveling to Florida for her birthday, he had told the others about it, they hated lying to her to but in the end they agreed, to keep her happy, because she would be absolutely devastated if she found out that some of the people she cared most about had to work on her birthday. 

 

No cake, not presents, basically they aren't celebrating her birthday at all, just putting it to the side. 

 

He frowns at his own thoughts for the fourth time today.

 

He feels like he betraying her, it actually hurts to lie to her, he wouldn't want someone to lie to him, now about his birthday? He wouldn't care if everyone around him lied to him to be honest but, this was a child he was talking about, you can't simply just tell the them the truth because with them knowing every little thing that goes on, they're just growing up too fast and that's the last thing Yoongi wants Nari to do.

 

Leaning against the wall he chuckles watching Nari break dancing with Hoseok, throwing her arms and legs in different directions, being encouraged by Hoseok to continue.

 

Now that he thinks about it, He feels like Nari may be closer to the guys than she is to her own mother. 

 

She's with them most of the time she comes to visit, of course always giving Yoongi her attention because that is her father and she loves him, but she loves the others too.

 

She really enjoys playing pranks on the others with Jungkook but most of Jungkook's pranks involve calling Jimin short, and Nari is obviously way smaller then him so imagine how that works out. Other times she puts fake bugs on SeokJin and laughs watching as he screams while Jungkook records on his phone. They're partners in crime, believe it, when Nari feels like she want to do something mischievous she heads straight towards Jungkook.

 

With NamJoon she really enjoys studying, Yoongi has said it a thousand times before, and he'll say it again. They hang out with each other way to much, NamJoon teaches her different Languages but she's only just now getting the hang of Japanese. He teaches her math to the point where she can solve a math question faster than Jungkook the golden maknae. Yoongi is pretty sure, the way NamJoon is teaching her so closely she'll have a IQ higher than his about time she's in middle school.

 

He often finds her cooking breakfast with Jin in the morning's, but since he woke up before her today that clearly didn't happen, he just assumes she was up after he fell asleep. She can cook lots of things, with help of course but none of them would let her go near a burning stove by herself. She really enjoys doing it and listens to every little detail Jin tells her to make the dish completely delicious. She's never allowed to go near a stove with NamJoon either because most likely he'll hurt himself trying to help her.

 

Taehyung is someone who just down right spoils the out of her, more than any other member in the house. Yoongi remembers him buying her a 300$ doll house that NamJoon later destroyed by falling on it. He doesn't buy Nari a lot of things but when he does holy it's expensive, the average kid wouldn't get gifts from others like Nari gets gifts from Taehyung. He was also the cause of her two cavities because he bought and allowed her to eat four bags of candy while Yoongi was sleep.

 

Even tho Taehyung spoils Nari a lot he really wants to thank Jimin for always keeping her in check, and by that he means always teaching her what it means to be humble. Yoongi feels like Jimin values his friends more than anything and he's telling Nari to do the same, always telling her to say thank you and eating all the food on her plate even if she doesn't like it because they're are others that have nothing and would eat all the food she left over in a heartbeat. He thinks Nari got her sweetness from Jimin if he was honest, and he's thankful that Jimin is one of the reasons she's the sweetest little girl he knows.

 

Hoseok is basically her dance teacher. Nari isn't that  good at dancing but she still tries her best in doing so. Hoseok tries to teach her a lot of simple moves from their choreography because she's always so eager to dance like the rest of them. He may be wrong but he thinks Hoseok was teaching her 'Danger' two weeks ago, it's not the easiest dance for a beginner but not only him but the others know she won't give up without a fight, if she even gives up at all because the kid really is stubborn to the bone.

 

 

Biting his nails he starts to think about her again, Minhee responded to his constant calls and text messages by changing her phone number and email. Getting straight to the point, he's pretty sure he's on his own now, Nari is fully in his care and that just makes things so much harder. Yoongi just has the sudden urge to scream and kick everything in this ing airport because that's how ing pissed off he is at the moment. What a selfish he thinks, who leaves their child with the father knowing damn well he has a job that takes up his time 24/7 just to go party and kick it with some guy she met a few months ago. 

 

Now he has to add another damn thing to his already full list. 

 

1. Go To The Concert In Florida.
2. Do The Concert In Seoul.
3. Take Nari To Her Doctors Appointment.
4. Go To Minhee's House To Get Nari's Things.
5. Take Nari To The Dentist.
6. Work On The Japanese Ver Of BST.
7. Go On Talk Shows.
8. Billboard Awards.
 

So much to do and his list goes further than that. He's not gonna lie, at first all the schedules and things to do tired him out, but he got the hang of it, he's used to it by now, but just adding the fact that he now has to take care of a child, a child that needs so much care, while doing as much as he's been doing, everything seems like it just got one hundred times harder.

 

He can't keep up.

 

He spoke To NamJoon about it, about his situation, he really does hate talking about his feelings when it comes to things he feels like people will pity him for. 

 

NamJoon being the smart guy he is regardless of their age he went to him for advice. But the only thing he said to yoongi was "Do what you gotta do, don't let others simply try and knock you down just because they put obstacles in your way."  It helped somewhat, but it's easier said then down and he honestly doesn't know what to do at all. Everything keeps happing to damn fast and his brain just can't ing keep up, time just keeps moving and it's not even giving him three seconds to think about what he's gonna do before it makes it's next move.

 

He somehow finds a way to close off his thoughts as his managers waves him over to board the plane. Nari runs over towards him hugging Hoseok before doing so. She wants to make sure she gets a seat right next to him, and he's perfectly fine with that. 

 

At the dorm she has little to no clothes at all mostly because Minhee only wanted him to have enough for two days and no more because he's not gonna be with her for "That Long" and he doesn't need more than the amount she gives him. He guess that Minhee feels like she's in charge when she has more of Nari's clothes than he does, like she's trying to make it into a competition, which is completely unnecessary.

 

She takes hold of his hand, squeezing it as tight as she can as he hands both of their tickets in. The guy stamps the back of their hands with the number of there seats telling them to have a good day while he moves onto another member. 

Entering the plane he sits her down in the window seat even tho that was originally his, he wants his daughter to be closed in because there are all kinds of creeps in this world. She smiles at him widely looking out the small circular window to see how high up it is.

 

She's been in a plane before Yoongi's sure of it, but she's never been on one with him, he's never been in a situation where he's had to take her with him so this is new for him also. 

Putting their small bags inside the board above their heads he sits down beside her and buckles them both in, handing her his iPad so she won't be bored since hers is at her mother's house.

 

The plane takes off and for some reason every time he's on a plane his breath hitches just a bit when it lifts off the ground and takes flight.

 

He smiles at Nari watching as she angrily taps on the white tiles trying to beat Jin's high score which is honestly so high he doesn't even think Taehyung can beat it.

 

Even when the smile on his face flatters, the beating and fondness he feels at the moment makes him warm, the reason for this is because the Billboard Awards.

 

He loves ARMY, He really ing loves them more than he could probably explain. When he first started Rapping he just wanted people to hear his music, whether it be a big crowd or a small one he just wanted someone to listen. He and his team even said it before they won they're first award "Let's Not Expect Anything" and he honestly didn't  expect a damn thing.

 

They've come so far and just to think that they, Them, some ordinary people who loved to create music were nominated to attend the awards. Not only that but the fact that they were nominated for "Top Social Artist" made him think that he's really got a good connection with his fans, they may not fully understand him, but if he got a chance to tell all of them how much he loves and appreciates them then he would.

 

Sadly, that's not possible.

 

Sure he could go on Twitter or Instagram and write a long paragraph about how much he loves them or he could just write a simple sentence that's just as sincere but he never feels truly happy just typing something or saying something over the screen. He wants to meet all of them, he truly does, even if he does hate people in general he wants to talk to them for hours and ask them how their life's going.

 

But that's not possible either.

 

He takes a moment and closes his eyes taking a deep breath to get himself together. When he opens them he can see Hoseok smiling at him warmly, he doesn't know why, Hoseok's always been kinda weird to him, just smiling out of nowhere for no reason, but he's his dear friend so sometimes when he's feeling down he appreciates his sudden smiles.

 

He smiles back for a short moment then he just looks around for a bit.

 

Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung are laying their heads on each other deeply sleeping while NamJoon writes lyrics in his notebook and bobs his head to a song that Yoongi can't quite make out but it's loud enough to hear. Jin is currently busy eating what looks like Ramen and Hoseok is slowly dozing off again.

 

He was a little surprised when he saw the planes seating arrangement. These seats had about eight seats on each row facing each other instead of the regular two seats on each row behind the other, he's never been on a plane like this and it's relaxing to know that he could be at least 5 feet away from another member than 5 seats away.

 

His string of thought is cut when Nari tugs his sleeve grabbing his attention. She looks at him with her brows furrowed with an urgent smile he's confused at first until he sees her legs moving quickly. "Daddy, I have to pee.." He laughs softly at her changing expression until she starts whining and jumping around a lot then he decides to take her to the bathroom.

 

He says a lot of 'excuse me's' as he passes other passengers to get towards the bathroom. Once he reaches it he curses under his breath when he sees the red light on at the top. Nari starts jumping, literally jumping up and down and he has to tell her to hold still. "Daddy I really really have to pee very bad." He chews at his bottom lip and looks to see if there's another bathroom, unfortunately the only other one is inside the piolets room and Yoongi is 100% sure they aren't gonna let him inside.

 

"Why didn't you use the restroom before we got on the plane? It's only been 10 minutes."

"I didn't want to."

"Well you should've."

"But I didn't."

"Don't get smart with me look what you got yourself into."

"Daddy, I'm sorry….I didn't wanna miss the plane."

 

Signing in defeat he bangs on the door only to get a "Im almost ing done" in return. He wants to punch the out of whoever's in there for cursing loud enough for Nari to hear, It's approximately 3 more minutes until a very long and tall bearded man comes out of the bathroom fanning over his nose. Yoongi understands why when he steps inside.

 

"Are you serious-"

 

He doesn't understand why he's so angry at the disgusting smell but it's really pissing him off, he feels like he's about to die as the smell keeps entering his lungs and suffocating him, he feels like he should protect his daughter and get her away from this evil atmosphere. No he's not over exaggerating he totally serious.

She ignores him letting go of his hand and rushing inside.

 

"Tell me when your done alright?" He saysseemingly coming back from the long journey through hell.

 

She nods and hurriedly waves him out.

 

He stands for about another 3 minutes, but the light over the door never turns red signalling that's someone's inside, he'll have to lecture her about locking doors later. He hears the water inside start running and it's just about 7 seconds before she steps out whipping her wet hands on her pants even tho there were paper towels inside. She smiles at him widely and his heart suddenly warms up again. He gives her a small smile before grabbing her hand and walking back towards their seat.

 

Sooner or later she's watching a movie and Yoongi's really tired but he doesn't want to go to sleep unless she's sleep first. "Daddy's tired…" he says almost whispering, to tired to raise his voice to be heard. She pauses her movie and starts petting his head gently "It's okay daddy go to sleep and I'll hit all the monsters." He grabs her hand off of his head and kisses the back of it she giggles softly but his eyes close before he can make out anything else.

 

 

♡♡♡

 

 

Once they land, their manger tells them that their concert will be pushed back 4 days, so they'll start practicing tomorrow which is Friday and end their concert on a Sunday, which also means he's gonna have to reschedule Nari's appointments to a different date, he won't be free at all until next Thursday.

 

It's about 10:30 now and it's pitch black outside, Nari keeps swaying so he has to hold her wrist tightly to make sure she doesn't fall, he knows she tired because most of the plane ride she was on her tablet watching Minions, he's not a fan of cartoons so he had just went to sleep.

 

For some reason Minhee pops back up in his thoughts. He knows, it's pathetic of him to miss her all of a sudden, but she's the mother of his child and his ex lover so no matter what he'll always have some kind of love towards her. He still doesn't fully understand what's going on. Why did she just leave Nari, that's the real question. Who gives a about him, what about Nari? What did she ever do for her mother to just abandon her like that. It makes him angry and he starts telling himself that he hates her again.

 

He looks down quickly feeling a sudden weight press into his leg to find Nari laying against him. She's snoring lightly and he laughs a little, she must of been sleepier than he thought. He doesn't want to wake her but his bags are in the way of him carrying her. He feels a hand Pat his back before he sees JungKook bend down and scoop Nari up into his arms she immediately wrapping hers around his neck.

 

Jungkook only having a backpack on him smiles and walks ahead. He's about to follow when but he feels another tap on his back, when he turns around it's someone he doesn't recognize.

 

There's a girl standing in front of him, just a little but shorter than he is. She looks at him nervously before putting her head back down, he's confused for a second until he reads her shirt. 'BangTan Sonyeondan' is bolded in white onto her black shirt with all of their names written on it. Knowing that she's an ARMY he instantly smiles.

 

"You want a picture?" He says those words in English the best way he can, and she smiles at him brightly but nervously as she nods her head.

 

He lets her take out her phone and puts his arm around her letting her take about 4 pictures. When she's done he ask for her name, "Emily" she says and he smiles once more before his manager calls him over, he waves her goodbye and she shouts out words that leave his heart beating, even tho he can't understand most english he understands this.

 

"I Love You! ARMY Will Always Be By Your Side."

 

Sure, he's heard those words about a thousand times before from other fans, but just hearing each of them say it and knowing that they mean it makes him want to cry. He'll never understand what's so great about him, the others are amazing but he'll never understand what fans see in Someone like him.

 

Pushing his thoughts aside, he gets inside the car and buckles himself up. He sees Nari in Jungkook's lap since there isn't enough room in the van, she's still soundly sleeping with her head no on his shoulder and Jungkook is also slowly falling asleep, his head on hers.

 

He doesn't know how he feels right now, when he tires to look at him and Nari together in the future all he sees is white. His heart aches so much lately that he feels like he actually has a heart problem.

 

He doesn't want to tell the others because mostly it'll cause them to worry about him but, he feels like his depression is coming back. He's had it before so he definitely knows what it feels like, and he feels it a lot lately. He felt it way before Jimin had come to get him that night in the studio, but just the fact that Minhee stormed out and hasn't replied to him at all makes it so much worse.

 

Most people would call him stupid because he's stressing so much over something so little as basically taking care of a child but thats not entirely the reason. The fans and even the members joke about him sleeping all the time but that's just a sign that he's depressed, he's sleeping a lot more lately and he just feels guilty all the ing time for yelling at Minhee and he's the reason Nari basically doesn't have a mother anymore. He feels like a ing idiot because he can't stop worrying about how ing fat he is and how ugly people think he looks, he tries to eat less he does he even goes on strict diets but nothing ever works out for him, because of the diets he feels weak like he can't even move his body and he can't concentrate on .

 

He doesn't even care anymore he hates his ing life, he hates the fans, he hates music, he hates s, he hates Nari, he just wishes everything thing would ing go aw-

 

"Hyung"

 

He jumps once he hears Taehyung's voice call out to him. When he looks back he can see him looking at him with worry lingering in his eyes.

 

"What?"

 

His voice comes out cracked and after a moment he finally understands why.

 

 

He's crying.

 

 

He wants to cry some more, he wants to hug Taehyung and tell him and everyone of s how he's feeling, he wants them to help him, he wants them to make everything better, he wants to tell then that he's so sorry.

 

But he doesn't.

 

Instead he smiles and wipes his tears away quickly.

 

"Sorry, I was - I had something in my eye, don't worry about it."

"But-"

"I said don't worry about it."

 

He turns back towards the window to hide his tear streaked face, hopefully the lines will be gone about time they get to the hotel.

 

 

♡♡♡

 

 

They arrive at the hotel and Nari wakes up smiling, Jungkook let's her out of the car and she quickly runs over to him. "Daddy! I'm awake!" She says laughing. "I can see that, did you sleep well?" He can see Taehyung watching him but he ignores the stares and walks inside the building. "Yep! I had a good dream too!" He asks her what her dream was about and she tells him that he and the others were all some kind of animals and she was the princess that turned them into humans. He laughs when Jin out of nowhere asks why he couldn't be the princess.

Once they get inside their rooms Yoongi runs Nari some bath water and tells her to get inside, "Come and get me when your done okay?"

 

"Okie." She says as he leaves the bathroom. He gets right on his laptop and does only a little work like editing some photos he took on his camera from recent places.

 

After Nari finishes up he gets her dressed in her night gown and then decides he wants to take shower instead if waiting till the morning, he lets her watch another movie but on his laptop trusting her not to touch anything as he gets his clothes and brings them inside the bathroom shutting the door.

 

He's able to block the dark thoughts that cloud up his mind as he briefly looks at himself in the mirror.

 

He steps in the shower not really checking the water temperature because he's really to tired to care, he's surprised he can even stand up.

 

When the water hits his skin feels refreshed, but even more tired than he was before. He wonders how his life even turned out like this in the first place really, if someone gave him a second chance to change everything he wonders if he would do it.

 

 

♡♡♡

 

 

 

"What do you wanna watch?"

 

She hums to herself for quite a while and Yoongi thinks he's about to fall asleep because of the silence but just as he's dozing off she chirps up causing him to flinch slightly.

 

"I wanna watch Toy story!"

 

When he had stepped out of the bathroom he was on his laptop moving her finger on the mouse pad when he strictly told her not to touch anything but she just told him that the movie got boring and that she wanted to watch a different one.

 

He groans playfully throwing his head back onto the pillow wiggling as much as he can causing her to erupt in laughter, to anyone else it would look like he's in the middle of a seizure at the moment.

 

"But it's old and you've watched a million times."

 

He stills and waits for her reaction but she just stares at him.

 

"What are you looking at?" He turns to look behind him but all he's faced with is the plain white wall. She continues to stare and he frowns just a bit.

 

"Nari."

 

He says her name a little too roughly and he doesn't notice it until her eyes widen in shock, but he quickly smiles to assure her that he's not angry at her in any way.

 

"Daddy, can I ask you something?"

 

"Of course you can ask me anything."

 

She looks at the black TV screen just like He did a few days ago. She doesn't turn to look at him when she asks him a question he really didn't expect to hear. 

 

 

"Mommy,"

His Heart Beats Faster.

"Where is she?"

It Stops.

 

_________

 

Okay Okay So It's Been Quite A Long Time But I've Honestly Been Working On This Since I Released The Last Chapter. But I Just Didn't Know Where To Go Lol, I Know Exactly What I Want To Happen In The Future But I Just Didn't Know What To Put To Build That Up If That Makes Sense Lol. I Just Decided To Post This, Even Tho I Wanted To Work On It Some More I Didn't Want You Guys To Have To Wait Anymore, It's Kinda Rushed And I'm So Sorry If I'm Making Yoongi Seem Like He Has Some Mental Problems But Yeah I'm Not Sorry Lol I Hope U Enjoyed This Very Late Chapter And Tell Me What U Think