Music for this chapter:

Mark's Diary - 06 of Feb 2017

Another day… Today is exactly 10 days since Jackson and I had that silly argue. Something about being in USA makes us all different. I think I get too excited to be home and he on the opposite gets annoyed to be far away from his place.

Everything was fine until we arrived LA - my parents were waiting for us at the airport and we went to my house to spend a day, before the concert. My school friends came over and everyone seemed to be having fun. BamBam and Yugyeom obviously showing and learning new dance moves and having their own dab party, JB helping my dad with the barbecue, Youngjae playing with kids, Jinyoung checking our books in the living room and I noticed Jackson talking with a couple of my old friends as I passed to the garden with drinks for everybody.

Suddenly, Jackson's voice raised " you!", he yelled to one of me friends as he threw his glass on the floor shattering into small pieces and he stormed inside, grabbing his stuff. As he came back outside with his bag, I managed to grab his arm: "Where are you going? What happened?", I asked him but he only said "I'm going to the hotel… leave me alone" and he left with one of our managers.

The next day it was our LA concert and the mood was so awkward. It felt like he was avoiding me the whole time, he arrived the backstage earlier than the rest of us and right after he got ready, he didn't wait for me like usual, and went to grab something to eat on his own. At the stage he barely looked at me, the only time being when fans asked us to hold a "Markson" sign together to take a pic. It was so hard not to cry at the time…

He came back to South Korea before us as well. He didn't even had dinner with my parents like the rest of the members. He just asked our staff to go back earlier with them and didn't even say goodbye…

Even after I flew back to Seoul, everything was strange at the dorm, he managed to be there when I wasn't, or when I was sleeping, and escape when I woke up. We had a couple of events but the mood was the same as our last concert in the US. It's not the first time we argue, but it's the longest time we stay apart. I don't even know what happened to make him be like this… I tried to ask him the very few times I was able to corner him alone but he never answers, I tried to ask my friends but they only laughed and minimized the situation.

He is clearly upset and I don't even know what to say or do to make it better…! Today was the worse. He flew home yesterday to meet his baby nephew and be with his family for a couple of days. We had this G+ starzone opening event today and the fans asked me to take pics with Jackson's standee, because he missed the event. As I'm checking the pics in my phone right now, it makes it so hard not too cry… I miss him so badly…

cr

*Mark's phone vibrates and a message appears on the screen*

Jackson <3 : "Are you awake? Can we talk now?"