Eun-Ae's lips curled into a smile as she veiled her eyes from the sun with a hand; she sat upon a plush blanket spread over the trimmed grass, gazing at the even greater comforter of green stretched out before her. A concrete walking track s its way through the foliage like a sluggish river, and here and there pockets of brush and trees were dotted about to break up the landscape. A stone bridge spanned the small width of an actual stream that carved through the gently rolling hills, its banks framed on either side by tasteful white rocks. In a far-off corner, the greens and grays and blues were in stark contrast to the colorful hues of a playground. A plastic construction of slides, a jungle gym and monkey bars, and a swingset gleamed in rich primary colors, nestled in soft white sand peppered with thousands of children's footprints. Above all this blazed a cloudless blue sky and the warm summer sun. 

"It's such a beautiful park," she sighed in contentment and leaned back on her hands, closing her eyes as her skin gratefully absorbed the sun's rays. After the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, Eun-Ae had chosen to spend the day in a spacious park in the middle of town. The boys were stretched out on a collection of blankets around her, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere with similar zest. 

"You ever think life would be easier if we were cats?" Taemin yawned as he stretched out on his belly like a feline. Eun-Ae could just imagine little pointed ears and a flicking tail on him. "We could lay in the sun all day and be lazy."

"You still miss the cat café, don't you?" Minho snorted with laughter, and Taemin's contented expression immediately melted into one of intense sorrow. 

"Yes! They were so cute!" He wailed and flailed his arms and legs about in a tantrum. Jonghyun angrily chastized him after he was kicked in the leg, making the boy settle down into miserable whining. Eun-Ae chuckled, glad that they were all enjoying themselves, then looked down as something brushed against her side. 

"You're in a good mood," Key remarked. He had stretched out beside her, cheek leaned in one hand while the other traced patterns along her side. She tried to ignore the ticklish feeling and keep the blush from rising to her cheeks while she looked down at him. 

"It's a beautiful day, and I'm here with all of you. That's all I need to be happy," she remarked with a small smile, then adjusted herself so that she was now lying beside him, on her side with her head laying on her crossed arms. Key's hand shifted to rest against her waist, finger still tracing patterns in the fabric of her tee-shirt. Though a few days ago she would have been incredibly bashful and scolding him for such blatant displays of affection, she was finding that over time she embraced the tender touches, almost begged for them, even. My time is running out. Eun-Ae was halfway through her predicted life expectancy, though she tried not to think about it. Subconsciously, maybe she was trying to savor her relationship with Key as much as she could. A sad expression must have appeared on her face, because Key raised his hand to sweep her hair from her face and lay a hand on her cheek. 

"Are you thinking about it?" It was amazing how well he could read her, even after the years they had spent apart. It really wasn't even worth the effort to lie to him, because he was just going to call her out on it anyway. She nodded with a small sigh and scooted a little closer to him, hoping she could draw comfort from the closeness. His fingers slipped into the soft strands of her hair, running through them like a thin brush. "Why don't you take a walk with me?" he suggested while pushing himself up onto his elbows. The boys were still involved in their conversation, seemingly oblivious to the melancholy mood that she had slipped in, and as much as she loved how much they cared about her, she wasn't in the mood for them to scramble all over each other to try and make her feel better. Besides, she and Key hardly got to spend true alone time together. A blush painted her cheeks at the prospect. Key and I... walking alone... They could do couple things, like hold hands and walk closely and even kiss. Of course, they did such things already, but doing so when no one was around strangely excited her. 

I really have become shameless! she thought as her face darkened considerably. Though she tried to hide it by hastily sitting up, it did not go unnoticed by her boyfriend, who grinned in that smug, mischievous way of his. 

"What are you thinking about, Eun-Ae?" Even just the purring of his sultry voice made her nerves tingle, as if her skin was anticipating being caressed. Mortified, she buried her face in her hands and tried to quash her shameful desires. Languidly, he rose to slide his arm around her waist again and propped his chin on her shoulder, so that his lips brushed against her ear as he softly spoke: "You aren't thinking about doing naughty things on our walk, are you?" Eun-Ae didn't even want to imagine what kind of naughty things he could be insinuating, and her heart rate skyrocketed as her face turned probably the darkest shade of red yet. She shook her head so emphatically that her hair slapped him in the face, and as he recoiled she jumped up and stomped off a little ways down the hill. 

"It's just the sun!" She snapped while keeping her back to him, lest her tomato-red face betray her. When he did not respond immediately, she called over her shoulder irritably, "Well, are we going for a walk or aren't we?" Did she even want to go for a walk anymore? It didn't matter, because she heard him get up to follow her. She heard his chuckles float down the hill, growing closer with his quiet footsteps in the grass, and she turned her face away with her cheeks puffed out as his hand slipped into hers. 

"All right, all right, there was no need to hit me." She just sniffed disdainfully at him. She wasn't angry, or at least she didn't think so, but his allure and her shameless responses to it always sent her mind and emotions into disarray. "You're so cute when you're frustrated," he laughed as he tugged on her hand, and though she was beginning to think that a walk was no longer a good idea, her legs obediently gave to allow him to lead her down the hill and onto the walking track. 

"I'm not frustrated," she muttered, her slightly bitter tone betraying otherwise. "What would I be frustrated about?" How damn y you are and me too afraid to do the things I want to, that's what. She kept her eyes trained on her sneakers as she walked, acutely aware of her cheeks burning. Her oxygen tank rattled a little as it rolled along the concrete pathway, and for some reason the sound was a little grating to her already fried nerves. Tak-tak-tak-tak-tak. Why was it so annoying all of a sudden, and why did she have the insane urge to just fling the damn thing away and rip those tubes out of her nose so she could kiss him properly? "I'm not frustrated," she repeated though he had said nothing. She didn't want to admit that she was, not to him and not to herself.

She wasn't frustrated that she was stupidly excited that they were spending this alone time together but sooner or later the others would come looking for them and it would be cut short. She wasn't frustrated at how stupidly attractive he was, so much that she couldn't bear to look at him, because it made her body grow hot and her mind fuzzy and her thoughts delve into shameless scenarios. She wasn't frustrated about the stupid heavy oxygen tank she had to tote around and the fact that her fragile legs were already hurting and both of those things always got in the way. Most of all, she wasn't frustrated that this was only temporary, that she was going to die soon and that she should enjoy these moments while they last and take advantage of them but she was too much of a coward to make a move. No, she wasn't frustrated about all that, no she wasn't, no she wasn't, yes she was, damn it, but she didn't want to tell him that because he would feel bad and she hated when he felt bad and he pitied her but she loved to be pitied because he would hold her and kiss her and tell her it was okay even though it wasn't, it really wasn't, and it was so goddamn infuriating- 

"Eun-Ae!" 

She gasped as she was ripped from her thoughts, and had been so involved in the negative emotions that she stood there dazed for a moment, unable to absorb her surroundings. They had walked quite a ways down the trail, ending up in a secluded area where the trees bent over the path to produce a leafy green shield from the sun that basked them in cool shade. There was no one else around, and the air was filled with both cricket and birdsong, chirps and tweets bouncing in elated tunes from either side. Key was grapsing her firmly by the shoulder with his face close, cheeks flushed as his eyebrows were knitted tightly with worry. Eun-Ae felt something wet on her cheeks, and she lifted a slightly trembling hand to find that they were tears leaking from her eyes. When he realized that she had come to her senses, Key exhaled deeply and his arms slid down to embrace her, pulling her close to his chest. Still numbed from the experience, she could only cling to him, her fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. Of course she was frustrated. He was her anchor, the unyielding rock in her ocean of tormentous pain, her tether to the world as she threatened to plummet into the abyss of despair. As a fresh wave of tears spilled from her watery eyes, she buried her face into his shoulder. 

"I'm so frustrated, Key." The words came out a whisper. "I'm sickeningly happy and sickeningly frustrated at the same time." The dichotemy of her emotions was so draining. How could her mind survive feeling such intense sorrow and intense joy at the same time? No wonder she had dissolved into such a state at just a simple walk through the park. Her hands dug into his shirt and the skin beneath, shaking. "I love these moments... But deep down, I know they'll end. I try not to think about it... I try to be happy, like you tell me... But it's so ing frustrating." Eun-Ae hardly ever cursed, but with her heart twisting and her stomach rolling and her brain feeling ready to implode, it was the only way she could portray how simply agonizing it was. Embracing the pain she had tried so hard to hide, she felt faint, dizzy, shaky, like she was going to throw up.

She had known it all along, but this was the first time she had actually faced the fact that she was going to lose him. That sickened her more than anything, because here she was feeling sorry for herself when Key was the one who would live with the consequences. "I'm sorry... I'm so selfish. I can't imagine how you feel-"

"Don't," he told her firmly. It was the first word he had uttered in this self-absorbed miserable prattle of hers. "Don't start feeling guilty. Just because I'm the one... I'm the one who'll make it out of this, it doesn't make your feelings any less valid, Eun-Ae." She lifted her face to tearfully look up at him, and he smiled gently before resting his forehead against hers. It was strange, but as she felt the warmth radiate between their skin, she felt a calming peace spreading through her, washing away all the hurt and sadness and anger, leaving her clean. "I think about it too. I think about it all the time... Never getting to see your smile, or hold your hands-" he reached down to pull her hands into his owns and brought them to his mouth to gently kiss her fingertips- "or hear your voice, or have you look at me the way you're looking at me right now, ever again."

"And how am I looking at you?" She breathed, her heart singing as she anticipated the answer. 

"With more love than should be humanly possible," he answered sweetly, and tears flooded her eyes again, but they were tears of joyous relief and crushing sadness, because he was looking at her the same way. She both loved and hated it. 

"It's not fair," she sniffed miserably. "Why did this have to happen? If I was normal, we could be together." 

"If you were normal, would we be together at all?" The question struck her deeply, like an arrow to a vital organ. She had never thought of it that way before. If she never had her illness, would Key have ever come back? Probably not. He would be off living his dream, while Eun-Ae did something more mundane like go to college and get a normal job and marry a normal guy and have a few normal children. They would have talked less and less, until not at all, trading polite "How are you's" and "How is the family's" when they happened to come across each other until they were only fleeting fancies in each other's minds. This passionate, doomed love of theirs would have become nothing but a "what if," a "what could have been," an "if I could go back and do it all over again." A regret. "I've said this before," he smiled as he lifted a hand to wipe her tears away with his thumb, "no matter how this ends, I'll never regret being with you, Eun-Ae. Even if it's the most God-awful, heart-wrenching, infuriatingly frustrating love story ever." 

"It really is," she laughed despite herself. "But I don't regret it, either." As much as she hurt at the time, she knew that when the moment came she would look back upon this time as the most joyful moments of her life. All that sadness and pain could never compare to these minutes of bliss. 

That's why she couldn't let the time she had go to waste. 

Key was going to say something, and she never did know what, because she interrupted him by jumping up to cover his mouth with her own. Her movement had been so jarring that he actually stumbled backward a bit, having to steady himself by grabbing her waist; she went right on kissing him, winding her arms around his neck as she pressed every inch of her body that she could manage against him. Though her action had startled him, it didn't take long for Key to catch up and take the lead, the movements of their mouths transitioning into a perfect harmonic dance. Eun-Ae obediently angled her face as he drove the kiss faster, harder, and deeper, smothering her with that intense love of his. Her heart sang like the divine tunes of an angelic choir, filling her bones with the vibrating hum. That fog of ecstasy clouded over her mind, leaving her thoughts all but bent on the man holding her, kissing her, driving her mad with emotion. Her hands were all over him, traveling from his neck down his back and arms to his chest and back to his neck again, and in the same fashion his hands were journeying across the curves of her body, making her nerves thunder like percussion in the orchestra that was their passion. That shameless part of her, that goddess of lust, had been released fully now. A small moan slipped from as his tongue began to fervently tangle with her own, like ribbon-dancers waltzing in the air to the melody that only Eun-Ae could hear. It burst inside of her like this each time their lips met, a symphony in which Key was the maestro. His hands plucked the strings of violins, his lips made the trumpets sound like thunder, his body made the drums crash like lightning. It was deafening and Eun-Ae was trapped in its thrall, helpless and entranced, at complete mercy to the sound. 

Eun-Ae wasn't sure how, but they ended up off the trail in the small patch of woods, wrapped in each others arms amongst the dead leaves and small patches of ferns and fungi. The air was filled with the labored breathing and the heat of the faces, red from exertion. She wasn't sure how long they had kissed, either; the entire performance of their souls' passion was just a hazy fog now, a blur of exhilaration and passion that was rapidly fading like mist in the morning. Key was still pressing kisses along her neck, gentle, loving caresses that were a far cry from the heated, almost desperate exchange only a mere moments ago. When he looked up at her, still breathing hard, he narrowed his eyes. 

"You're crying again." Eun-Ae lifted her trembling hand to brush her fingertips across her lashes and found that tears were indeed clinging to the fine hairs. "Are you still-?"

"No," she interrupted and lowered her hand to comb his disarrayed hair. "No, this is because I love you so much I can't stand it." He smiled coyly and kissed her again, softly, gently, yet with all the love he had to give. 

And Eun-Ae returned it, with all the love she had to give. 

Even if these moments were fleeting, they would last forever- even if her forever would soon run out.