Eun-Ae was conflicted as she climbed the trail, wrestling with her feelings as she tromped up the mountainside. I don’t know what to do… She thought miserably. I… really like Key, but… It’s so unfair to him. How can I expect him to devote himself to me like that, when I’m going to…? She hung her head, heaving another heavy sigh. As she stared at her feet, watching them stomp over the pebble dirt and crush little blades of grass, she wondered just where her path was trying to lead her. I never imagined when I agreed to this that I would even be considering this.

As she continued to mull over the problem, she was startled abruptly by the sound of someone calling her name. She glanced up to find that she was alone on the trail, having fallen behind the group of idols while she tried to find a balance between her heart's desire and her mind's logic. She was halfway up a hill, and Key was standing at the top looking down on her with a slight frown. He then half-walked, half-slid down the pebbled walkway, coming to a stop in front of her.

“Eun-Ae?” he repeated. “Are you okay? You’ve slowed down a lot. Do we need to rest again?” he asked her worriedly, and she shook her head with another small sigh.

“No, that’s not it. I’ve just been thinking…” she answered quietly. Guessing what her thoughts had been bent on, he pursed his lips and nodded curtly.

“Oh. I see,” was all he said, and she chewed on her lip as she struggled with what to say. She scratched the back of her neck, uncomfortable with the ading silence. “I-" they began together, and then both blushed as they fell silent once more. “You first,” he frowned, clearing his throat, and Eun-Ae knew that no amount of argument would convince him otherwise. Sighing again, she walked over to a stump on the side of the trail and sat down, running her hands over her bare legs to wipe the sweat from her hands.

“Key… I’m just so confused,” she admitted quietly, slouching sadly on the stump. He stood patiently in front of her, his hands in his pockets as he gazed guardedly at her. “It’s not that… I didn’t want it. I did,” she acknowledged. “I just… You’re the most important person in the world to me, and the idea of hurting you is just more than I can bear…” She exhaled deeply, feeling as if a great weight was lifted off her chest, and she was so relived to finally voice her feelings that tears started streaming down her cheeks. She sniffled miserably, wiping her eyes as she stared down at her lap. “It’s just so frustrating!” she cried, slamming her hands on the stump in anger. “Why did this have to happen to me? Why do I have to die?” She screeched, sobbing. “Why can’t I have you?” She finished in a whisper, her anger fading as cold, deep shock set in. As she buried her forehead into her hands, she head the soft crunch of pebbles and leaves as Key crossed the trail. Peering through the gaps in her fingers, she saw him crouch down in front of her, and he pulled her hands into his. She lifted her head, blinking her tears away.

“Eun-Ae,” he murmured softly, reaching up to wipe her tears with his thumb. He sat there in silence for a while, gathering his words. “I know what I’m getting into,” he continued finally. “I know, that at the end of this, I’ll be the one to walk away… And I am prepared for that. I was in denial, at first… I thought maybe, somehow, there would be some miracle… But I know that isn’t true.” Eun-Ae was shocked to find that tears were forming in the corners of his eyes. “Eun-Ae… I lo-" Before he could finish, they both whipped around as they heard something loud crashing through the bushes. Eun-Ae's heart stopped in her tracks as a huge bear lumbered out of the bushes, and stood on the opposite side of the trail staring at them with beady black eyes.

“Key…” she whispered tearfully, panic rising in . She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight, until her knuckles were white.

“Stand up, slowly, no sudden movements,” he told her calmly, but she could feel him trembling with fright. Slowly, hands clasped, they both rose and began to creep backwards away from the large creature. It snorted, shuffling its massive paws, and she fought against the urge to whip around and take off. They edged away from the creature, pushing through the bushes until they could only see it’s little fuzzy ears. “Up the tree. Now,” he demanded, and she hastily grabbed onto the nearest tree and began pulling herself up. As she grabbed the next branch and began dragging herself up, a familiar feeling began to rise in her chest, like hands were squeezing all the air out of her lungs. Growing dizzy, she clutched onto the branch tightly.

“Key… Key, I can’t breathe…” she gasped.

“It’s okay, keep climbing, just a little higher,” he encouraged her, and she used the last of her strength to pull herself up higher. Finally, she slid onto a massive branch that could hold both their weights, and as she slid on her belly across the rough wood, Key climbed up behind her and sat down, his back against the solid trunk of the tree. As she reeled, vision foggy, she vaguely felt him grab her around the middle and pull her back so she was sitting against him. He wrapped his arms securely around her, and she closed her eyes, the world dancing around her making her head hurt. “It… hurts…” she panted as she fought for breath. What’s wrong with me? She thought wearily as she leaned heavily against him.

“Eun-Ae, listen to me,” she heard him whisper softly in her ear, his lips brushing against her skin. “Just breathe. Just like me, just breathe.” He began breathing deeply, and she could feel his chest rising and falling against her back. She used it as a guide, in breath and then exhaling, fighting against the constricting feeling in her chest. Gradually, the sensation subsided and she began breathing normally. Sweat slicked her hair to her forehead, and she felt weak, like all the energy was drained from her body. Exhausted, she continued to lean against him, feeling his cheek pressed against her head as he soothingly rubbed her arms.

“What’s happening to me?” She whispered tiredly. She was so tired. Tired of waking up in the dark of night, screaming in agony as her legs blazed with fiery pain. Tired of shoving pill after pill down , and the side effects that wracked her body and mind. Tired of being poked and prodded with needles and IV’s. Tired of stopping to catch her breath while her healthy friends marched on. Most of all, she was tired of being tired. “I can’t keep doing this, Key,” she sniffed as the tears of frustration and hopelessness returned. “I just want it to end…”

“Don’t say that,” he responded quietly, squeezing her and kissing the top of her head gently. “Please, don’t say that.” As he kissed her head once more, then her temple, then her cheek, and finally turned her head to kiss her softly on her lips, she didn’t fight this time. She was tired of fighting the inevitable. It all hurts too much. It hurts to be with him; it hurts to be without him. I can’t win. As she felt her strength return, she raised her hand to cup his cheek. He angled his head as he kissed her more deeply, hands sliding up her sides. When they broke apart, she was panting again, still recovering from the strange attack. “I need you, Eun-Ae,” he told her as he pressed his forehead against hers.

“Even if I’ll be gone?” She choked out, fighting back more tears.

“Even if you’ll be gone,” he affirmed. “Until then, I promise, I’ll make every single one of your dreams come true…” he murmured as he reached up to gently her cheek. Eun-Ae felt gratitude rising inside of her, and she buried her face into his neck as she hugged him tightly. He’s doing all of this for me. He cares for me so deeply that he’s willing to put himself through such heartache just to see me happy… The thought made her both blissful and sad, and all she could do was hold onto him, her anchor, the one thing in the world that wasn’t against her, the one thing in her life that was worth staying for. I won’t give up. Not yet, she decided.

“Hey! What are you guys doing up there?” As Jonghyun shouted up at them from the ground, squinting as he tried to look past the pine leaves and see what they were up to, Eun-Ae and Key began to giggle.

“Got scared by a bear,” Key called down to him, pushing a branch aside so that he could see the group clearly. They were gathered by the base of the tree, wearing expressions of both impatience and mild concern.

“Bear? There are really bears up here?” Taemin yelped, and he looked around wildly for the massive fuzzy creature.

“Well, it’s gone now. We're burning daylight, you know,” Onew shouted. “You two wanna reach the top or not?” Laughing, the two of them clambered down the tree to rejoin the pack, and they began hiking up the trail once more. Eun-Ae felt renewed, her conflicting feelings like a distant memory as she walked close beside Key. He slipped his hand into hers to entwine their fingers.

“Hey, Key?” She whispered to him as they walked along. “Before the bear came… What were you going to say?” He smiled smugly at her, using his free hand to poke her in the nose.

“Don’t worry about it,” he mused teasingly. Eun-Ae frowned at him and rubbed the end of her nose crossly, but she could not help but smile. It doesn’t matter. He’s given his heart to me… That’s all that matters. She pressed close to him to briefly lay her head on his shoulder, and as they marched up the rocky mountainside, Eun-Ae felt invincible.