Seojoon had sighed, gotten up and said a quick goodbye before he had disappeared around the next corner.

It seemed like every man in my life was constantly walking away. Literally actually, Hyungsik - since I knew his name now - was constantly leaving after throwing me into an emotional fit. Watching Seojoon walk away really hurt though. It still reminded me too much of when he had moved out his stuff half a year ago. The way he had said goodbye had been almost the same as now.
And I wanted to shake myself for still thinking about him, still even letting him into my house and my bed.
It felt like my life had changed into something weird over the past two weeks, something that was running in unexplainable, uncontrollable ways.

I looked straight ahead and saw the entrance to Namsan Park. I decided that it would be a great idea to clear my head and go for a little hike. The wind was cold, but like the usual Korean weather, the sun was shining brightly through the wintery trees down on the brown grass that was just slightly covered in snow.

As I walked, I suddenly caught myself smiling when I thought about the kiss that had happened a few moments ago. I shook my head violently. There was a human or non-human man, following me, scaring me, kissing me twice - and I was smiling about, radically seen, being violated, abused.
Was I the psychopath now?
After a few minutes, I decided that my pill-deluted mind had to be playing tricks on me. No way I would enjoy this man to come forward even once again.
On the other side, another kiss like that... Heavenly.
This didn't work as well as I expected. My head wasn't clear at all yet.
While I was hiking uphill, I met elderly people in their typical hiking clothes smiling and nodding at me. It put me back to ease to see these carefree people enjoying the clear weather and the nature. I, too, put my brightest smile on and tried to forget the drama for a little bit.

For estimated two hours, I hiked uphill and finally reached the top with the iconic pagoda. People, mainly tourists, were taking selfies in front of it, in front of the tower, the thousand love locks or the breathtaking panorama of the city. The physical training dulled the crazy, floating thoughts in my head and for a while, I enjoyed the view of the city.

Then I remembered that Seojoon and I also had put up a love lock up here on our first year anniversary. Would I be able to find it?
My first guess was that it was on the right side up the small patio. There were so many, though, that I had to look a little.
Between a thousand colorful, different sized locks and some phone cases that had been written on, I was looking for a smaller, dark red lock.
I looked for 15 minutes, but I couldn't find it anymore. Maybe it'd fallen off or someone else had made room for theirs. Maybe this was a sign.

Another interesting thing happened.
Before the encounter this afternoon with Hyungsik, I had felt threatened by his presence and turned paranoid whereever I was. Now, I caught myself glancing around looking for him. Not because I felt uneasy, I kind of wanted him to be here. The reason he had to follow me, to be everywhere, to save me from that car and that scooter, it bothered me too much that I didn't know what his motive was.
What I did know, though, was that the kiss he had given me before felt nothing like it had back at the hospital a week ago. It seemed like it were two different persons. But I was sure it had to be him, I would remember his face out of a million by now. And I was sure I did back then, too.

And why had he emphasized so much that he was human, he was not dangerous? Who else was there that he could had been talking about?
Was he schizophrenic? I doubted it.

I sat down in front of the pagoda and watched people. Then, unexpectedly, I recognized the old lady from the hospital standing a few meters away from me. She was taking pictures of the scenery with her phone.
When she looked into my direction, I waved at her. Her face lit up and she made her way over to me.

"How are you?", I asked, delighted about seeing her again.
"My dear, I am holding up just fine. I see that you are doing well, too."
"Of course. Thank you again for the wonderful scarf! Did you knit it with two different shades of wool though? It seems to change color in the light."
The old lady just smiled an all-knowing smile, before she patted my shoulder. "I see, it already did come in handy."
"What do you mean?"
"This I cannot tell you, you have to find out yourself. Just know this much: It gives you a sign much needed in the given situation."
"But..."
"I wish you a wonderful day. I have to head back home now. I hope we will see each other again." She turned around and slowly walked away. I figured that stopping her wouldn't help me in figuring out all these happenings.

It reminded me of my childhood, when I loved solving riddles. I would sit down all day and solve the stories that my grandpa had written for me to figure out. It had included people, places, weird objects and the clue to find a solution for the situation.
This felt like that all over again. Only this time, I seemed to be the main character and I couldn't just stop when I didn't feel like it anymore.

I sighed and got up. I guessed it was time for me to head back after all. One last time, I walked over to the observation deck to look over the city.
It was exhilirating. I was leaning over a little bit and closed my eyes to feel the cold wind on my face.

Just when I leaned over a little bit too much and lost my balance. My eyes shot open as I thought I would fall over in a second.
Before me, I saw the sickening depths down the Namsan mountain and imagined myself colliding with the sharp rocks a few meters down.
Where had my balance deserted me? I'd been sure to be on the ground steady with my two feet just a second ago. But now I was on the verge of falling.
Falling into certain death.

Two strong arms pulled me back an instant before going overboard.
And they sorrounded me safely. I found my face pressed against a chest out of steel and ice. As expected, the sweater was black.
I looked up, still in shock from what had almost happened a moment ago.
Hyungsik.

His black eyes looked at me, it was like fire and ice at the same time.
"Do you believe me now?", he asked, his breath aspirating in the cold.
I nodded again. I was happy that he was here. Right now, it felt safe. I was trembling, trying to grasp the situation.
And then I just buried my face back into his chest, embracing him with my arms as well.
For now, it helped to hold onto someone to make me feel back on safe ground again.

Even if this someone was someone unexplainable.
Someone I wanted to run away from with every fibre of my body.
But at the same time, someone that I suddenly wanted.