This was the point where I turned into a paranoid state of mind.

I had literally run home, smashed the door behind me and just for the sake of it, put on the alarm system.
Seoul was so safe, usually nobody really bothered to activate it. But this encounter scared me in a way that it made my stomach turn.

The black man had touched me, even carressed my face! And he'd been so cold, like a corpse.
I didn't know if I should feel flattered or straight abused from his touch. It was this weird mix of emotions where I just really liked it, but at the same time I knew that it's not really ok. Just like when you still kept on eating the whole chips bag, even though you knew you'd feel sick afterwards.

Even though I showered roughly an hour ago, I stripped from my clothes and got into the shower, I think I must had been in there for an eternity. While doing so, I was breathing irregularly and just when I recalled the situation again and again, gasped and held my breath, as if it would make the memory go away.

Needless to say, nothing of this helped and when I got out, I went over to the windows in the living room to peek out and see if he was still there. This was totally pointless, since I was living on the 14th floor anyway, but it was calming to see, well, basically nothing.
I crawled under my sheets and scrolled through my feed on my phone to keep me occupied. After I took my medicine, my exhaustion allowed me to fall asleep.

I wasn't sleeping well. I woke up several times, my mind alert because of my fear but my body heavy from the sleeping pills. I was sweating and had the feeling of suffocating. I wasn't sure how to make it through this night. I had never been in a situation like this, either.
After the third time of waking up, it was still dark outside, so I guessed that it couldn't be so late yet. This isn't going to do, I thought to myself and reached over to my phone yet again. Just then, I realized it was actually ringing. And it was none other than Seojoon.

"Hello?", I answered, my voice heavy from sleep.
"I'm so sorry, did I wake you?", a painfully warm, soothing voice asked on the other end.
"I wasn't sleeping well anyway."
"I'm worried about you, our call ended so suddenly and I heard strange voices... This may seem weird, but..." He hearingly hesitated. A silence formed.

"What is it?", I asked after a few seconds, fighting against the weight of the pills.
"Do you mind if I come over?"

There it was. My loving ex-boyfriend called me at 2 am and wanted to come over. It felt like victory and hell at the same time. What was I supposed to say? Of course, I felt better with someone around while I was so scared about everything. But then, I didn't want to give it to him. This probably was accepting two-timing in the most official way. And I knew it would spark my stupid hopes of a comeback between the two of us. But in the daze I was, fighting the demons in my head and the blindening effects of the pills, my mind wasn't exactly thinking rational thoughts right now. So my mouth spoke before my head could think.

"If you feel like it, you can."

He hung up and said that he'd be on his way. Seems like I was having a midnight date with my ex in my house.
Something was off though. I had not heard from him in almost half a year, and all of a sudden, he comes to seek me personally, then comforting me on the phone and now wanting to come over. Maybe Irene had been right, maybe he'd broken up with the other girl.

I was trying to fall asleep so badly, but my thoughts were running wild while I was unable to move from exhaustion. I couldn't wrap my head around the black man. Twice in over a week, I was almost killed by random vehicles. The thing that creeped me out most was that the first accident had seemed like it'd been planned. The car had aimed at me. What reason was there to run over a normal college grad?
And then, there was always the black man involved. He was everywhere where I went, knowing things about me that usually only friends knew. My address, my favorite café, all of these personal things. And his cold skin, his blue lips... He seemed like a ghost.

I found a moment of peace after a while, my eyelids slowly falling and my head mute. Just when I heard my alarm system going off.

Within seconds, I was up from bed, my back in pain, my movements slow and uncoordinated because of the sleeping medicine. But the fear was going through every fibre of my body and instictively, I tried to find a hiding spot. I kneeled down between my nightstand and wall and childishly hid my head.
Footsteps were approaching the bedroom, giving me a frighting deja-vu of the black man in my hospital room. I started sobbing.

The door opened. From the angle, the only thing I could make out was a tall man, dressed in black, slowly peeking in.
"GO AWAY", I yelled in my despair. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The man rushed towards me alarmed, only to take my face in his hands a few moments later.
"Shh, it's me. Seojoon." The warm voice. My home.

I calmed down a bit, my sobbing turning into steady crying while slowly looking at him, meeting his dark eyes and his puzzled face.
Next moment, I grabbed his arms and put my head on his shoulder to relax from the sudden panic attack. He was my hair and rocking me a bit.
After a short while, I attempted to get up and, on weak knees, made my way to the bed. Seeking shelter, I made my way back under my thick blanket.
Other than the bright, blue moonlight from outside, there was no source of light in the room. But when Seojoon sat down on the edge of the bed, without seeing his features, I could feel the aura from him.

He held my hand while I was calming down, my heart rate getting steady again and the sleeping pills working their wonders.
This moment was comfortable, soothing, everything I always liked about him. The way he made me feel secure and protected against the world. He was truly the best person for this emergency situation right now.

"What on earth is going on?", he asked after a while, I could hear him being worried sick.
"There... I... I... The man...", I stuttered.
"A man? What man? Sedam, it was only me. There is no one here."
"No, there's... the black man..."
"You were just having a nightmare. Everything is ok."
"I wish it was that way..."

I was fighting the exhaustion, but after the panic attack, my system started shutting down. I could feel the fatigue creeping in and just wanted to forget everything that had happened.

"I'm so tired", I said with difficulties.
"Just sleep. It's fine, I'm here", Seojoon said gently while the hair strands out of my face. His touch felt soft and caring. I took his hand and pulled him a little. He was hesitant, but then slowly adjusted to the bed and came to lie next to me. I rested my head against his shoulder, upon which he embraced me with his arm, making it more comfortable. It was warm, his scent made me remember all good things about him. What a man he was.

Just before I finally drifted off to sleep, I heard Seojoon's voice once more.
"I wanted to tell you something important. But it can wait."

The next morning, I didn't wake up until almost noon. I wasn't rested, but the world seemed different in the daylight. More optimistic and not thinking about last night at first, I got up and walked to the kitchen. On the counter, Seojoon had left a note in the morning.

"A package came for you, I received it. It's on the couch table. ...If you need to talk, you can call me anytime."

I slightly supressed the shameful feeling I got when I thought about last night.
The package was interesting though, I hadn't even ordered anything. I looked over to the couch table and saw it. It was pitch-black.
My paranoia was back at once. Black package.
Black man?

I was scared to open it.