“I think it's time for you to move on. I think it is time for you to keep on living your life like the old days, to stop dwelling in the past, to open your eyes wide and see what's before you, Yoongi.” Jin's previous words kept on playing in his head, rotating round and round like an old cassette tape. Yoongi tried to shrug it off but he could not. Blankly staring at the food on the dining table, Yoongi did not even notice the questioning look he received from Hoseok.

     “Hyung, you okay?” the younger one asked, concerned. His eyes were fixated on Yoongi for quite some time now yet the latter seemed too preoccupied to even touch his food.

     Upon hearing Hoseok's voice, Yoongi snapped himself back to reality and arched his brows at Hoseok, totally blanked. He noticed the look from Hoseok who sat across him and asked, “Did you talk to me just now?”

     Hoseok laughed at his question. “You really didn't hear me, did you?”

     “I…yeah.”

     “It's nothing important, though.” Hoseok smiled. “I just want to make sure that you're okay. You look troubled,” he added and continued eating afterward.

     Yoongi said nothing in response. Instead, he stared at Hoseok quietly, watching the other ate in peace and began to think of something. He had been staying here for three months, almost four. And it had been the very unproductive months for him. He did nothing but sleep, wake up, eat, watch the television, and sleep again. And then the rigid routine continued when the next day arrived. Meanwhile, Hoseok, he had been working hard to make sure that Yoongi was fed, to make sure the electricity was not cut off, to make sure that Yoongi could live here comfortably. Yoongi knew that Hoseok's wage was not that much to support the two of them. Yet Hoseok still let him stay in his house for three months long.

     And with Jin urging him to rise up on his own and start living like his old self again, Yoongi eventually made up his decision. He was determined. He believed he could get over Jimin's death someday, although now might not be the time. One thing for sure, he should stop giving Hoseok the burdens. He should stop troubling Hoseok with his presence in his house. 

     Looking Hoseok full on his face, Yoongi opened his mouth after a long pause and said, “I'm leaving. Tomorrow.”

     And with that, Hoseok halted and shot the other a look of disbelief. 

     Yoongi took a deep breath. “I've been here for too long. And I did literally nothing. All of these months, it was you who has been working your off to take care of me. And I guess it's time for me to leave.”

     Hoseok put his chopsticks down. He looked Yoongi in the eyes, feeling quite dejected. 

     “You are nice, Hoseok. Really nice. You take a very good care of me even though I'm just your friend. But I shouldn't rely on you too much. I'm a grown up, though. I shouldn't be a burden to people. And I should be mature. I think it is time for me to finally let it go, to move on, to carry on with my own life. Without troubling you.”

     Silence followed after his words.

     “Also, I'm sorry if I ever hurt your feelings. Well, I still can't get over Jimin's death and when you said things like that, I...I just can't accept it. I'm sorry if I hurt you with my words. I wanna start anew. Like you told me before, I should start accepting the truth now. And I think this is the best time. So, I'll be leaving tomorrow. Morning.”

     Hoseok was at lost for words. Having Yoongi here with him was not at all a burden. He liked it instead. However, Hoseok knew he should not cross the line drawn between him and Yoongi. Because Yoongi himself thought that he was just a friend to Hoseok. They were just friends. We're just friends, Hoseok reminded himself. 

     Hoseok inhaled a deep breath, urged a smile, and reluctantly said, “It's okay if you wanna leave tomorrow morning. After all, it's never a burden for me to have you staying here with me. But before you leave…please have a breakfast first, okay?”

     Yoongi beamed. “Sure. I will. Thanks, Hoseok.”

     “You're welcome, hyung.”

     After the dinner ended, Yoongi entered his room and began to pack his things up. All of his clothes, wallet, and other stuff Hoseok brought from his place when Yoongi first stepped into Hoseok's house, Yoongi fit them all into a black backpack.

     Hoseok twisted the knob and pushed the door ajar, peeking at Yoongi as he silently stuffed his things into the backpack. He heaved an inward sigh and scowled before he hastily wiped the sadness off of his face the moment Yoongi called his name.

     “What are you doing there?” the older male asked, quite baffled.

     “Um, nothing. Just watching you packing.”

     “Come,” Yoongi said and beckoned. 

     Hoseok hesitated at first, but he approached Yoongi afterward. He sat next to the older male, his fingers unconsciously fiddled with his sleeve. Silence ensued, for none of them had spoken a word.

     Yoongi continued packing up his things, deadpanned. However, he did notice Hoseok's nervous act and shot the latter a look. “Are you okay?” Yoongi asked, frowning.

     “Yes? Oh. I'm okay.” Hoseok beamed and immediately hid his hand at the back. “At what time are you leaving, hyung?” He threw him a question, trying to avert Yoongi's attention on his fingers and anxiousness.

     “Don't know,” he answered and shrugged. “After I have a breakfast, perhaps? I am allowed to leave your house after I have breakfast anyway.”

     “Ah, I see. Um, what are you gonna do after this?”

     Upon hearing the question, Yoongi made a low, steady sound like a bee. After a short pause, he looked at Hoseok with some uncertainty. “Continuing my life?”

     “Are you gonna do underground rapping again then?”

     “Maybe, just maybe.” Yoongi smiled slightly at Hoseok and stuffed his shirt into the backpack before long. He had not been doing that for so long. Now that Hoseok brought up the matter, Yoongi doubted if he could ever get the groove back in underground rapping. All of these years, it was in his veins. The passion. It lived with him. It breathed with him. It grew with him. But everything changed after Jimin's death. Like the painting when the rain poured onto the shades of colours, it felt as if it was fading away, slowly dying.

     “I hope you will,” said Hoseok. “I hope you will continue on rapping, hyung. I mean you are great. You look alive and awesome when you rap. It's like you're burning. And I got burnt too when I hear you.”

     “Really?” Yoongi replied and smirked, eyes fixated on the backpack, hands were busy stuffing the clothes in. Hoseok's words tickled his heart a tad.

     “Y-Yeah. W-Well, it's not only me, though. Everyone else feels the same way too.”

     Yoongi paused and diverted his eyes to the empty wall, looking preoccupied. A sigh escaped from his lips.

     “You know what, hyung? Namjoon told me that everyone has been asking about you. They asked him where did you go and why you didn't come there and rap. Namjoon didn't know what should he reply to that, so he just kept quiet.”

     His brows creased at every word that fell out from Hoseok's mouth. His heart ached somehow when the other mentioned about the particular matter. 

     “Find the other pieces.” Jin's voice lingered in his head out of the blue. Yoongi frowned as a realization hit him. He did not have to find the other pieces, though. They were already there in front of him. All he needed to do is to pick them up and put them at their respective places back. 

     After a short pause, Yoongi shot Hoseok a look and said, “I will. I will continue rapping. I will come back to the place like usual. I will. Tell Namjoon that if they ask him the same question again, he just has to say that I was preparing. For something bigger. And even better.”

     Upon hearing Yoongi, Hoseok nodded and fell silent. His lips then curved into a smile, for he was happy to see Yoongi like that again. The older male was becoming more of himself and perhaps, even better. The fact that he could finally accept the death of Jimin itself was already a positive sign and Hoseok swore that he would help Yoongi in any way he could to make the latter happy again.

When the Sun had risen from the flooring of the Earth, Yoongi's eyes shut open. Unlike any other day, he woke up pretty early this morning. Perhaps, this was the moment Yoongi had been waiting for, to start his life anew. Because the past could not be changed and would never change, all Yoongi could do now is to accept it wholeheartedly and learn something from it. The moment he stumbled into the kitchen, Yoongi spotted Hoseok brewing coffee. The mild aroma wafted through the air and made its way to Yoongi's nostril. It smelled good.

     “Hyung,” Hoseok blurted as he met the latter's gaze. “You are…early today.”

     Yoongi merely grinned and sat down on the chair. “I suppose so.”

     Hoseok poured some coffee into the cups and brought them over to the dining table where the breakfast was already served. Yoongi thanked him when he placed a cup in front of him and took a sip of it afterward. “You're welcome,” Hoseok replied in his usual animated manner.

     “The weather looks nice today, isn't it?” Yoongi looked out the window, gazing at the outside scenery of the house. 

     “Yeah. It's sunny.” Hoseok brought the mouth of the cup to his lips, eyes glued to Yoongi. He would be leaving today. Right after they had this last breakfast together, to be exact. Though Hoseok felt heavy to see Yoongi left, he constantly told himself that it was for good. It was for Yoongi's happiness.

     And Hoseok kept reminding himself that even when the car had pulled up in front of Yoongi's house. He kept telling himself that even when Yoongi was standing at the gate of his house with a backpack carried on his back and a smile plastered on his pale face. 

     “Hoseok, I just wanna say thanks. For everything. I owe you so many things, but you never ask me to pay back for it.”

     “It's okay, hyung. I don't mind it at all. But…will you mind it if I…text you sometimes?”

     Yoongi shot him his usual deadpan look. After a short pause, he smiled and replied, “Sure. Why not? If you wanna hang out with me, just ring me up. We are good now anyway, right?”

     “Really? Thanks, hyung. Well, you can come to my house anytime if you want. This gate is always open for you to walk in,” Hoseok said in excitement.

     His cheerful manner triggered Yoongi to smile even wider, showing his pink gum. Before long, he tapped on Hoseok's shoulder and looked full into his face. “I think you can leave now,” he said as the broad smile subsided. 

    “Oh,” the other blurted, dejected.

     Yoongi sighed. “Should I say goodbye then?”

     Hoseok pursed his lips and fell silent. 

     Yoongi gave another tap on Hoseok's shoulder and pulled his hand back to the strap of his backpack. “Goodbye.” The word fell out of his mouth afterward and slowly, Yoongi stepped back, pushing the gate to his house and walked in, leaving behind the dejected Hoseok who just watched him in silence. He halted for a brief second to wave his hand at Hoseok and smiled before he turned around and entered his house.

     Hoseok stood there stock-still. He did not reply to Yoongi nor did he wave back. Instead, Hoseok looked on in distress as Yoongi closed the door and soon disappeared from his sight. An audible sigh escaped from his lips. Hoseok felt somewhat empty. 

     But the sadness did not last long, for Hoseok texted Yoongi on that very night. It was just a simple text message which said, ‘Hey, hyung. Have you had your dinner?’ yet it took Hoseok minutes to hit the ‘send’ button. He read his sentence again and again just to make sure it did not sound like he was flirting with the other and though it was tiring sometimes, still, Hoseok could not get over his anxiety when he sent a text message to Yoongi. 

     Yoongi, on the contrary, took only a few seconds to reply to Hoseok's message and hit the ‘send’ button. Since he was not doing anything at the moment, Yoongi merely sat on the couch in the living room and fiddled with his phone the entire time.

     Done replying to Hoseok's message, Yoongi put aside the gadget and looked round the house he had abandoned for three months. Everything looked the same, yet, it was different. This place had gotten a lot quieter than before. There Yoongi could no more hear Jimin's laugh. There Yoongi could no more smell Jimin's perfume. There Yoongi could no longer see Jimin's smile as he always did every time Jimin was here. It felt different. Too different Yoongi sometimes wondered if he could get acquainted with all of this.

     The phone rang briefly, signaling the new message. Yoongi pulled himself back to the reality and picked it up. A small smile then decked on his face as he read the name appeared on the screen. Somehow, Yoongi believed he could brave through this with the help from Hoseok.

      
The photo frame on the table next to the television had gotten dusty by the time Yoongi saw it. He reached his hand out and brought the photo frame closer, only to found that it was a picture of him and Jimin which was now what Yoongi called memory. He wiped the dust off of the photo and peered onto the features he had been yearning for. A wistful smile then spread across his complexion as Yoongi reminisced the old, happy days he used to spend with Jimin. 

     At times, Yoongi did wish that the photograph was actually a tunnel which he could crawl into and go back to the exact day when the picture was taken, back to the day when everything was fine and alright, back to the day when he only knew the words ‘love.’ But Yoongi knew it was impossible. If that could ever happen, it probably would be in a book, a fiction, a fantasy. 

     A sigh escaped from his lips afterward and Yoongi put the photo frame down upon the table, at where it was originally placed. He did not want to throw it away. He would never do that. Because it was another piece of the puzzle that made up his heart and made himself as someone he was today. And he should never throw it away.

     It had been a few weeks since he left Hoseok's house. Although not much happened, Yoongi would like to say that he was fine now. He could curve his lips into a smile anytime he felt happy. He could breathe in the air and stare at the open sky every day. He could spend his leisure time the way he wanted to. He could do anything that his heart desired. Life had been better to Yoongi. 

     Putting down his coffee cup and seizing his phone out of his pocket, Yoongi beamed as he read Hoseok's name on the screen. The boy always sent him text messages. He had been doing that ever since Yoongi left his house. Instead of feeling annoyed or irritated, Yoongi liked it. At least, he had someone to talk to every single day despite it was just about something unimportant and random. 

     “Who's that?” Jin who seated across him asked as he craned forward to steal a glance at Yoongi's phone. 

     “Hoseok,” Yoongi simply answered and beamed. His eyes were now fixated to the phone, his thumbs were busy typing his reply. 

     “Hoseok?” Jin repeated, arching his brows. He hummed and leaned his back against the chair. Crossing his arms on his chest, Jin looked on in silence as Yoongi busied himself with his phone and temporarily forgot Jin's presence there.

     Yoongi giggled and began to type again. Indeed, he really forgot that he was hanging out with Jin at the moment.

     Jin let out a sigh and leaned forward, eyes on Yoongi. “The main purpose I call you and take you to this cafe is to talk with you, Yoongi. Not watching you giggling and texting someone else,” he blurted in slight annoyance.

     “Wait. Just a second,” Yoongi replied nonchalantly. 

     Jin heaved another sigh and wore his bored look. Looking at Yoongi giggling and grinning like that reminded him of when Yoongi was with Jimin. Jin was clueless about Yoongi's feelings toward Hoseok, but he was positive about Hoseok's feelings toward the other. Something crossed his mind and Jin blurted it out. “Is there something going on between you and Hoseok?”

     Upon hearing his sudden question, Yoongi slowly diverted his eyes to Jin who was shooting him a questioning look. Silence ensued.
 
     Jin raised his eyebrow, still waiting for the clarification from Yoongi.

     “No. Nothing. We're just…friends,” Yoongi finally said after a short pause. “What were you thinking, hyung?”

     “Well, I'm just curious.” Jin leaned back against the chair and took a sip of his coffee. “Hoseok…he texts you every day, right?”

     “Yes. Well, how did you know that?” Yoongi put down his phone upon the table as the text conversation between him and Hoseok ended with a goodbye. His attention fell on Jin who had just thrown him a question.

     Jin beamed. His smile somehow meant something. Something only he knew and Yoongi did not. “See, I have known him for like four or five years already,” said Jin. “So, I know him more than you did, right?”

     Yoongi merely arched his brows at Jin's reply. 

     “You know Taehyung?” 

     “Of course I know that weird kid. Hyung, please don't ask a stupid question like that.”

     Jin rolled his eyes in slight annoyance at Yoongi. “So, the story is, two years ago, Hoseok used to have a huge crush on him.”

     “Taehyung?”

     “Yoongi, please don't ask me if it's Taehyung or someone else. I'm talking about him right now.”

     “Okay. Go ahead.”

     “Two years ago, Hoseok had a huge crush on Taehyung. And he used to text him every day.”

     Yoongi frowned a bit. “So? Are you saying that Hoseok has a huge crush on me just because he texts me every day?”

     Jin gave him an approving nod.

     “But that is not a solid reason, hyung.” Yoongi smirked and lifted up his cup, draining the remaining coffee. 

     “Of course,” Jin admitted and flashed a smile. “Because there are lots of reasons that are much more solid than that, Yoongi. Only you don't notice it.”

     Furrowing his brows, Yoongi put down his empty cup back on the table and shot Jin a pensive look. “What do you mean?”

     “Yoongi, have you ever asked yourself these questions before?”

     “What?”

     “Have you ever wondered why Hoseok let you stay with him for three months long? Have you ever wondered why Hoseok was the one who's willing to take care of you when you can take care of your own self? Have you ever wondered why Hoseok is always there when you're down and depressed because you lost Jimin? Have you ever wondered why he did all of these for you? Have you?”

     Yoongi fell silent, tongue-tied.

     “Or maybe, you never even notice that before.” Jin shot Yoongi a look and heaved a breath. “Just like Taehyung. He never notices all that too...even until today. Although he's with Jungkook now. See, Hoseok's the secretive type. Everything he personally feels, he keeps them all in his heart. If he's sad, he hides it beneath his smile. If he feels offended, he hides it behind his laugh. If he's in love, he hides it all in his eyes. But eyes can't lie. The gleam and the spark in his eyes always tell the truth. It's just that you are…blind. Yoongi, Hoseok loves you. He loves you even before Jimin loved you. He loves you even though you loves Jimin. He loves you even when his heart broke.”

     And with that, Yoongi found himself entirely speechless. Jin locked his eyes with him, somehow it felt like he was telling him something. Something about Hoseok. Something about Hoseok's true feelings for him. Silence followed after Jin's last words and swept over the two men. 

     “To Hoseok,” Jin said again after a long pause. “You are his other part. The other piece of his set of puzzle. You make him feel whole and complete. That is the most solid reason I could tell you, Yoongi.”

     Upon hearing him, Yoongi looked away to the glass wall and stared aimlessly at the vehicles passing by the cafe and strangers walking down the street. Yoongi still could not fully digest Jin's words. He was confused.

     Jin heaved a breath. “Look. I'm not saying that you should love him back. It's not in my power to do so. I'm just telling you the truth. The truth you've been sleeping on all these time. What happens next, it's all up to you, Yoongi.” 

     Yoongi turned his head around and exchanged a look with Jin. 

     When the night approached, Yoongi sat still on the couch, eyes fixated on the television screen. However, his focus was not exactly on the screen. Ever since evening, his mind was preoccupied with Hoseok and it was all because of the sudden revelation made by Jin.  

     If what Jin told him that evening was a truth, Yoongi had no idea how to react to it. Hoseok loved him? Never had such thought crossed his mind before. Yoongi's heart skipped a beat or two at the thought of it and he started feeling weird. 

     Lately, though, a flood of unknown emotions had been stirring within his chest. Yoongi was not sure what was it that had been disturbing him these days and it felt so strange and enthralling Yoongi could not define it in words. Yoongi assumed this was how being alive again felt like. Being crushed and being mended both at the same time. Suffocating yet still breathing. It was peculiar, at least to Yoongi. And he wondered what was it exactly that had made him felt this way. He wondered what was it that had brought him back to life and how did it happen. 

     It was then his phone vibrated, pulling Yoongi out of his own deep thought. He diverted his eyes to the other side and picked his phone up only to found out that it was Hoseok, sending him another message today. Yoongi paused, eyes staring at the Hoseok's name which happened to pop up on the screen. All of a sudden, Jin's voice lingered in his head and the old conversation they had in the cafe this evening began to play by itself all over again.

     Yoongi hesitated. His thumb was just a few inches away from the phone screen, but it halted when it was about to tap on Hoseok's message. This whole situation confused him and being left dazed alone, Yoongi was clueless as to what should he do next. Nevertheless, Yoongi tapped on the message and read it. It was just a simple message. A short and simple message that asked him whether he had eaten his dinner or not. Yet, Yoongi's heart beat increased and his brows furrowed. 

     This was confusing. All of it. Now that he knew Hoseok's true feelings toward him, it made Yoongi felt anxious, bewildered, and insecure, all at the same time. 

     Another new message chimed in and it was from Hoseok, asking if the latter was alright or not. Yoongi took a deep breath and as he heaved it, he typed down his reply, simply saying that he's fine and that he had eaten his dinner just now. After a short pause, Yoongi hit the ‘send’ button and heaved another breath as he reread Hoseok's text message.

     Lying on the single bed, Yoongi averted his eyes to a photo frame upon the bedside table. The dim light from the lamp softened on his features and after a short while, Yoongi took hold of the photo and stared down at it. It was not a photo of Jimin. It was a photo of him and the others as a whole. From the left side of the picture were Namjoon, Jin, Yoongi himself, and Jimin. Next to Jimin were Hoseok and Jungkook, and standing at the right side of the photo was Taehyung with his arm over Jungkook's shoulders, his smile was bright and wide. Everything was fine back when this picture was taken. The smiles that graced their faces were radiant. The sunlight which fell upon them made the whole situation looked happy and pleasant. But Yoongi wondered if the smile on Hoseok's face really reflected the happy moment or not.

     All these years, never had Yoongi acknowledged that Hoseok had had a crush on Taehyung once. Looking at the photo for the second time, he noticed the position of each one of them, particularly Hoseok's position. Standing in between Jimin and Jungkook, it seemed like Hoseok was lost, for next to Jimin was him, Yoongi, and next to Jungkook was Taehyung, Hoseok's old crush. If Yoongi was in Hoseok's shoes surely he would feel annoyed and dejected with the situation he was in. But Hoseok's smile did not tell it otherwise. Or maybe it was just Yoongi who did not see the sadness concealed underneath the curve of Hoseok's lips. 

     “If he's sad, he hides it beneath his smile.” 

     That was what Jin had told Yoongi before. It was then a realization hit him that Hoseok was indeed strong. Not by his strength. Not by his muscles. Not physically. It was then Yoongi realized how powerful Hoseok's smile was that it could conceal almost anything until Yoongi was blinded by the cheerful look of the boy. He had been laid to all these time. He had been laid to with his eyes opened. And Yoongi had just realized it that night.