Zitao wince at both prince Yifan tight grip on his shoulder, and at the same time at his very terrifying glare. He frown up into prince yifan’s face, searching that he is just bluffing,and seeing none, resorted to defensive indication.

“l had no choice! What else could l do? You refused to take me with you!”.

“Pricisely, prince zitao, l refused and perhaps you would have been wiser to accept my refusal!”, at the tone of his voice like roughly crushed razor blades, that seemed to scrape at his nerve-end and adding the snorts coming from the knights, just made Zitao shudder with both fear and embarrassment. He was suddenly acutely conscious that he was alone in the depths of nowhere at the mercy of a prince and some knights the he hardly knew.

For once of the few times of his life he was filled with fear.

Anxious to appease them, mostly Prince yifan, he found himself burbling, “ l didn't mean to make you angry, l thought you would understand once l explained! “,

“ Did you, now?”, Prince yifan’s voice was sarcastic, “ Perhaps you even expected l might be pleased to see you, well, prince Zitao I'm sorry to disappoint you, but at this moment the one thing that would please me the most would be to wring your presumptuous little neck!”,

He meant it too, Zitao could see that in his eyes, eyes that continued to burn down furiously at him. He move his gaze to look at the knights that are just beside him.  

All of them are looking down at him exactly like what prince yifan have on his eyes, eyes that full nothing but  anger, disappointment, and above all.

Hate.

That eyes, the same look, it all reminded him of the same eyes that look at him the moment he step out from the carriage.

He is not evil nor was his will.

All his life he wanted to be good, wanted to do good, and not even once did he think of doing bad stuff, but seems like everyone think he is tho.

Was he all along….evil?

It leaves him wonder that, is he what he think he is? Or perhaps here he do not critique himself with any.

He doesn't realize that he started crying, hard, until he felt that his mask are already wet from his tears. How could they just look at him like that? Zitao duck his head, making everyone around him to raised a brow.

Yifan was about to speak, but he  stopped when he feels that prince Zitao’ shoulder started shaking. Is he crying? His question was answered as he heard a sob coming from the prince. He blink once, twice and let his tight grip loose as he watch prince Zitao start bending his whole body, and, bow down in front of him.

“ Per-perhaps my will tranced me”, Zitao started with a sob, face barely touch the ground, “it seems more and more though that l see my action as innocent as my desire”.

He tried to stop himself from crying to lessened his already embarrassing state, but all in his mind right now, was the thoughts of  the wrong doings he did to receive this unnecessary hate he got.

Was there?

All he just did was to follow what he wanted.

From the start the reason why he agreed to come to the ball, was because he like to see the world that he was just imagining from reading his book, he wanted to see a lively place, not like his own place, he wanted to fit in, he wanted acceptance, he just wanted to save joonmyun.

He just wanted a change.

Is that the reason why all along then? Because from the start he didn't belong to a place that he, not even once (or maybe forever) can't fit in, a place where no one could accept him.  Maybe trying to fit in with them was not the right thing to do then.

World was indeed cruel.

Ashamed, that's what he felt right now, “ I'm sorry if l been a burden, l just want to save joonmyun, l just want to..fit in, I'm sorry if I'm different, please don't hate me. Sincerely l bow down in front of you to say that...I'm really sorry”, tears are flowing from eyes like a river, and by now he started hiccuping, “ it grab me no right to expect redemption, nor do I, for I know the damage caused, but I'll give every pride that left me, you can even beat me up to death and-and walk away like its no big deal, you can do whatever you want from me!”, Zitao stopped and look up to prince yifan. Even so, if world are indeed cruel, he need to fight, not for his own tho, but for someone who matter to him, because Zitao think that a person like Joonmyun need to live a life as nice as he his,

And he continued, with a tone of complete sadness, “ But please, I'm begging you….please save joonmyun”, he started crying again. He hate feeling like this,

he hate crying.

But for once in a while, maybe for once in a while, its okay to feel the thing he hate to feel. Not because that's normal, or because it makes him human, but because these are his feeling.

All of them were left stunt as they watch prince Zitao wail, hearing his cry, is like squeezing your heart out, the knot on their throat was suddely really hard to swallow. All of their anger was already gone into the thin air. Never had they heard someone cry like prince Zitao did, it was so sad, so broken, and as he apologized, they can hear that he was, indeed, sorry.

Never had they seen someone looked so pitiful at the same time looked so...nice. He was willing to be beaten up and be left behind in a place where he didn't know, just to save someone?, well that didn't feel right, was that person really that important, because from what they heard, prince Zitao was the only child, so that person can't be his brother, was he his..lover?.

The knights all at once looked at prince Yifan, who still, by now have an unreadable face.

“Stop”, prince Yifan suddenly said, making Zitao’s heart sunk like the sitting sun.

“What's with you?”, prince Yifan asks, totally confused.

He always been good at reading