Say You Won't Let Go

Starring: Krystal and Jongin

Music: Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur

Photo Credit: top left, top middle, top right
middle left, middle, middle right,
bottom left, bottom middle, bottom right

Soojung found Jongin in an empty practice room with his head in his hands, as she quietly entered the room she could feel the sombre mood. Taemin had just debuted in SM’s newest boy group SHINee, Jongin was happy for his best friend but couldn’t help but feel inadequate. Jongin had been hardworking and would practice until the early hours; Jongin was not trying to undermine Taemin and his skills but Jongin only felt disappointment when he wasn’t chosen for SHINee.

Jongin had felt like he was hitting his limits. He had pursued dancing and singing at such a young age against his parent’s wishes. Jongin had put his heart and soul to fulfil his dreams but he was now questioning the likelihood of his dreams coming true. He knew about the high rate of trainees’ dropping out and getting kicked out; he had also heard from other trainees that your debut is never certain until you enter the CEO’s office. Some trainees had been with SM Entertainment for more than 5 years but they had not yet debuted. Jongin was scared that he would be a forever trainee with no debut date in sight. Jongin was sinking deeper into these dark thoughts that he did not notice Soojung approaching him.

“Jongin-ah, are you okay?”, Soojung cautiously asked Jongin as she moved to sit beside him.

Jongin looked up at Soojung in surprise, not being able to look into her eyes, he replied, “oh Soojung, I’m alright…”

Soojung stared at Jongin, not believing what he was saying, “Jongin… it’s okay. You know you can talk to me.”

Soojung had become a trainee a year before Jongin joined SM Entertainment, but Jongin knew that Soojung had been frequenting SM HQ since she was just a kid because of Jessica. If anyone could empathise with Jongin, it would be Soojung. With SHINee’s debut, it was uncertain when SM would debut their next girl group; not to mention the expectations upon her just because she was SNSD Jessica’s younger sister.

Jongin looking away from Soojung before asking, “Soojung, have you ever felt like giving up?”

Soojung replied, looking at Jongin with surprise, not expecting for the conversation to turn down this route. “To be honest with you, always.”

“How do you overcome the want to give up?” Jongin startled by Soojung’s answer looked at her with his curious eyes.

“I know that no matter how happy my parents might be if I give up on this frivolous dream, it would not outweigh the disappointment that I would have towards myself for giving up.” Soojung glanced at Jongin to see if he was taking in her advice before continuing. “Don’t be discouraged because you weren’t chosen Jongin, only you can make yourself feel as though you’re not enough. You became a trainee because of your skills; don’t overlook them just because of this; more opportunities will come. Your dancing alone… You can tell stories with your dancing, it’s captivating, mesmerising and unforgettable.”

Soojung had a wealth of knowledge at such a young age, Jongin looked at her in awe; he would take Soojung’s words to heart and never forget them. Jongin saw Soojung in a new light and felt himself being to blush. “Thanks, Soojung, I really needed that.”, Jongin said bashfully.

“Jongin, I don’t want to see you like this again. If you’re ever feeling down, just come look for me and we can talk. Okay?” Soojung stared down at Jongin before embracing Jongin in a hug. Staying true to his word, Jongin would never forget this day; it was the first day where Jongin understood his own worth and the day when he realised that he might be falling for Soojung.

SM Entertainment always held an annual Halloween party, it was there that Soojung persuaded Jongin into sneaking out of the party to celebrate her 21^st birthday with her. Jongin didn’t need much persuading, he was more than willing to make Soojung happy. Soojung and Jongin were able to easily escape the party and enter a club without any problems. As soon as they entered the club, Jongin carefully lead Soojung to the bar to get drinks.   After the first few shots, Soojung began to feel the alcohol flow through her body. All of Soojung’s worries and stress began to disappear when her favourite song came on, so she took Jongin’s hand as she pulled him to the dancefloor. Feeling the bass resonate through their bodies and ignoring the curious onlookers, Soojung and Jongin danced the night away under the flashing LED lights.  

An hour had passed when Soojung turned to Jongin motioning to him that she was thirsty. Jongin took a hold of Soojung’s hand and led her back to the bar, where they shared two bottles of soju before Jongin decided to stop drinking. Jongin wanted to ensure that he would be sober enough to take responsibility for Soojung, if she gets drunk. Soojung wanted to continue drinking, so Jongin poured more shots for Soojung, the alcohol caused to Soojung suddenly have the urge to dance. Soojung reached for Jongin’s hand and pulled him towards the dancefloor. Soojung and Jongin spent the next few hours submerging themselves into the crowd and dancing their hearts out, caught in the moment with each other.

It was starting to get late and Soojung was starting to feel the heavier effects of the alcohol. “Jongin-ah, let’s go home.” Soojung whispered into Jongin’s ear as she struggled to stand up by herself. Jongin blushed as he felt Soojung’s breath on his sensitive ears but wrapped his arm around her waist as he led her towards the exit of the club. Upon arrival to Soojung’s apartment, Jongin kept his arm around Soojung to steady her and she tried to find her keys.  

Once inside the apartment, Jongin let Soojung out of his hold and watched as she walked in a swaying motion towards the bathroom before falling to her knees right before the toilet. Jongin followed her into the bathroom as Soojung began to vomit out all the alcohol she had consumed. Jongin carefully held her hair back and rubbed her back as she continued to empty out her stomach’s contents. Jongin continued to soothe Soojung, when Soojung suddenly looked over her shoulder towards Jongin, giving him a shockingly beautiful smiled. Jongin swore that in that moment all the alcohol was drained out of his system, it was then when he realised he was in love with Soojung. Jongin pulled Soojung into his embrace and hugged her, kissing her on the forehead. Soojung pulled herself away Jongin’s arms and began to squash Jongin’s cheeks with her hands.

Soojung trying to put her words together asked Jongin in a cute drunken tone, “Pwease stay over, Jonginnie!”

Jongin could only smile to her as he nodded his head before removing his face from his hands. “Soojung-ah, you okay? Do you want to go to bed now?”

Soojung cutely nodded her head as she yawned and stretched her arms above her head before she tried to grab Jongin to help her up. Jongin suddenly picked Soojung up and carried her bridal wedding style towards her bed. Soojung couldn’t help but feel her beat faster as Jongin was able to pick her up without any trouble and would delicately carry her; trying to not cause any unnecessary movements that would make Soojung feel sick.

Jongin missed out on so many opportunities to confess of Soojung. There was the time at the annual SM Entertainment Christmas party where Jongin and Soojung were caught under the mistletoe together and their friends kept pressuring them to kiss. Jongin was able to help them escape their predicament by kissing Soojung on the cheek. There was another time at a Seulgi’s small get together to celebrate New Year’s Eve; Jongin ended up beside Soojung for the New Year’s countdown as the countdown reached one, Jongin turned to Soojung but Seulgi had pulled Soojung into a bear hug. There was also the time at his small birthday party where he had cut the cake to the bottom and was meant to kiss Soojung, as she was the closest girl; Sehun decided it would be a good time to pretend he was a girl and kissed Jongin on the cheek instead.

After the New Year, Jongin was unable to see Soojung as often as he would have liked; his birthday being one of the times that they were able to properly meet up. The constant distance between them only made Jongin’s heart grow fonder. Jongin wanted to confess to Soojung but there was a small voice deep within his head that always brought up his fears of rejection and concerns of endangering their decade long friendship.

Throughout the past few months since Soojung’s birthday celebration, Jongin was consistently pressured and pestered by their friends to confess to Soojung. In the New Year, Jongin was continually travelling between the US and Korea, whilst Soojung was always going back and forth between Korea and Japan; continuously missing the timing of when they were both in Korea. That was when Jongin decided he would finally confess to Soojung on Valentine’s Day; he could no longer handle the yearning that he felt whenever he would miss out on seeing Soojung. The love he felt for Soojung continued to grow, outweighing the insecurities he felt. Jongin was so certain that Soojung would reciprocate his feelings as well, thus further encouraging him to confess.

It was another case of bad timing on the leadup to Valentine’s Day. EXO was currently holding a concert in LA which Jongin was unsure of when he would next be free. f(x) was finishing up their Japanese tour and would be returning back to Korea in the next few days. Jongin had originally planned to surprise Soojung in Japan at the concert afterparty, but now he had to rethink his plans. EXO’s LA concerts would finish the day after Valentine’s Day; thus, Jongin decided to fly back to Korea and surprise Soojung at her apartment as Jongin was not needed for the Chicago arm of the tour until the 18^th.

Jongin landed in Korea at about 4am in the morning, he prepared to surprise Soojung with breakfast in bed at her apartment. Fortunately for Jongin, during Soojung’s drunk birthday celebration, she had shared with him her apartment passcode; he also found out that night that Soojung was a heavy sleeper. Jongin wanted to cook pancakes for Soojung, as she doesn’t get to sweet things often; luckily for him, Kyungsoo was willing to share his special blueberry pancake recipe with Jongin.

Jongin stopped over at a grocery store on the way to Soojung’s apartment, he was able to also grab a bouquet of gardenias and roses. As soon as he arrived at Soojung’s apartment, he was careful to not set off any alarms and began to silently prepare the pancakes, JOngin started to quietly hum to himself as he imagined how surprised but happy Soojung would be. Unbeknownst to Jongin, his humming and the smell of the pancake woke Soojung up. Soojung slowly began opening her eyes as she inhaled the delicious smell coming from her kitchen; it took her a couple of minutes before she realised that no one should be in her kitchen, let along her apartment. Soojung suddenly jumped out of bed as she heard the humming getting closer to her bedroom, scared that it could be a sasaeng, Soojung wielded one of pillows as she hid behind her door.

As the door opened, Soojung started to swing her pillow at the intruder whilst shouting, “WHO ARE YOU? HOW DID YOU GET HERE? I’M GONNA CALL THE POLICE!”

Jongin stood in shock as the pillow hit him square on the face, thankfully his reflexes were fast enough to grab keep a hold of the breakfast, whilst his other hand tried to stop Soojung’s attack.

“Soojung, It’s me! Jongin!” Jongin proclaimed as Soojung stopped hitting Jongin and dropped the pillow in surprise.

“Jon-Jongin?” Soojung took a few minutes to process what was happening, before worriedly asking, “What are you doing here?! Don’t you still have more upcoming concerts?”

Jongin placed the pancakes and bouquet of flowers on a nearby table as his voice weakened at the sound of Soojung’s concern, “I came to surprise you for Valentine’s Day, so surprise?” Soojung’s face softened at Jongin’s proclaimation.

“Jongin-ah,” Soojung affectionately called his name as tears started to well up in her eyes, “you didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to, Soojung” Jongin lovingly said as he wiped Soojung’s tears. “Soojung, I would travel across the world just to see you.” Soojung looked up at Jongin through her wet eyelashes, this made Jongin bring his hands to tenderly hold Soojung’s face.

Jongin fondly Soojung’s cheek, “Soojungie, I love you,” Jongin confessed, before he leaned down and softly pressed his lips against Soojung’s. Jongin brought Soojung’s face closer to his whilst Soojung closed her eyes as she began to respond to Jongin’s kiss. As Jongin slowly pulled away from their kiss; Soojung opened her eyes, declaring, “I love you too, Jongin.”

Jongin beamed with happiness at Soojung’s affirmation of their shared feelings before bringing her towards the breakfast and flowers he had prepared. Soojung’s eyes lit up at the surprise, she hugged Jongin and kissed his cheek before she started to eat the pancakes. Jongin watched Soojung lovingly as she swayed from side to side as she eagerly ate the pancakes. It was smalls things like this that made Jongin think to himself, “Man, I really love her.”, Jongin was awakened from his thoughts as Soojung brought her fork towards his mouth. Although they were together at last, they still cast longing looks at one another; not forgetting the idol life that they both shared, but none of that mattered, it was just them against the world.

Author's Note:

My oneshots always end up being so long, I'm so sorry for such a late update; I've been so busy with work and summer semester.

Please look forward to my Seulgi oneshot that will be uploaded in the next few weeks.