( CHAPTER FIVE )

No matter how hard she tries to calm herself, Soojung was honestly getting really worried about Jongin’s condition, even though she has already tucked him to bed and let him take a medicine. He was always this who made fun of the little things that she does so seeing him so weak was a new side of him for her to see. Not sure what to do next, Soojung calls her bestfriend, only to be responded by the caller ID. She was about to call her sister next, but she knew that she’s just going to being in his apartment so she decided not to in the end.

“Junmyeon oppa probably knows what to do.” She mumbles to herself, about to dial his number. She then realizes that she should have done that earlier so she could have thanked the older boy as he was the one who told him to go to the restaurant Jongin usually goes to. However, before Junmyeon could answer his phone, she hears Jongin saying something softly behind her so she turns around and sees him trying to get up. “Jongin, please go back to sleep.”

“Stop!” He suddenly shouts when she was walking towards his bed where he was, “You’ll get sick as well if you get too close!”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.” She tells him, sitting by the bed to check if his temperature has gotten lower, but it hasn’t. “I honestly feel bad for just forcing you to go out with me when you’re sick.” The girl mumbles, looking down.

What a bad timing it was, Jongin thought. He couldn’t believe the day she surprises him would be the same day he’d also get sick. He would loved to have spent the whole day roaming around the city just like she initially wanted to but instead, he was stuck in bed while she took care of him. He simply tells her that it was okay, but if he wasn’t sick, he would have probably said that with a kiss to assure her.

“You know… when I told you that you’re in my mind everyday all the time, I really mean it.” Mumbling, he closes his eyes as she tucks him to bed again. “Every morning, the first thing that I think about is you, and when the day ends and I’m in my bed, I sleep by the thought of you.”

“I’m not surprised, considering how my face is plastered around your room.”

Quickly opening both of his eyes, he suddenly panics after remembering that they were in his room, and that he had some picture of her around. There was a selfie of her that she took with his phone on her nighttable, and there were pictures of their selfies in his study table – though in his defense, he also had some pictures with the boys in his table. Laughing awkwardly, he hid his red face under the sheets, hoping that she won’t see him blushing.

“Also, maybe you shouldn’t have my birthday as your password on your laptop. And maybe you shouldn’t have a picture of me as your wallpaper. I wonder if your phone has the same picture…” Though she was laughing on the inside, Soojung watches him looking for his laptop with wide eyes. When he saw it at the other side of the bed, he was about to reach for it but she was quick to stop him, telling him to go back to bed.

“You can’t use my laptop!”

“Why not? I’m bored.”

“I-I have some school files in there! I-it might get deleted… or something…” Seeing how nervous he looked, Soojung finally chuckles. The sound of her laughter did make him feel a little better, but he couldn’t help but to sulk in. “Why are you bullying me when I’m sick?” 

“Don’t worry, I won’t even look at the pictures that you secretly have of me... if that’s what you’re worried about.” She tells him, still chuckling a bit, as she ruffled his hair with her fingers. “But… if I distract you a little too much, maybe you really shouldn’t change some things around you.”

“You don’t distract me, Soojung. You never do.” He tells her before whispering quietly. “But… maybe I really should… change my wallpapers… Delete your pictures… Change my password… Try not to think about you a lot and actually pay attention in class.”

“You really should pay attention in class…” He hears her mumble. “…And not think about me all the time.”

Jongin turns to her, but didn’t speak. He could only sigh by her words. Does she even know how hard it is not to wonder about her? But then again it was his fault. After all, he was the one who told her about his decision of staying as friends for now. Closing his eyes for a little while, he wondered how things would turn out if they had started a relationship as soon as they confessed to one another.

“And if you’re getting too stressed out, maybe you should search for a new hobby? If you’re tired of football, what about getting back to horseback riding or fencing just like the old days? Or perhaps, try something new like… polo?”

“Polo…?” He thought to himself. He has never thought of doing that ever but now that she mentioned it, it seems a bit interesting to him. It’d be good if he had something to do apart from stressing the out of him or thinking about her.

“Don’t I look a little too y in here?” With his thoughts suddenly ruined, Jongin looks up to see Soojung holding the picture frame that was on his nighttable. It was the selfie she took with his phone when they were about to go to the club for his birthday, and she did look provocative as she was wearing a short dress. “Why is it beside your bed?”

Not knowing what to answer, Jongin just grabs the picture, and immediately turns back the other way to pretend like he was sleeping.

“Fine, just go back to sleep.” She tells him, walking back to where she left his laptop at. She presses the Google Chrome icon and while waiting he glances at him to see if he was looking at her. Indeed he was, but he quickly closes his eyes to ‘sleep’ again. Smiling to herself, she hovers the cursor to the history button, since she had visited a website before but forgot its exact name.

The first link in the history was the one she wanted to look at, but the one that truly caught her attention was the websites  below it that he visited recently. A peeking Jongin sees that Soojung was surprised about seeing something on his laptop. Already knowing what it was, he asks her to just delete all of her pictures if she liked, but she only shook her head slowly.

“What’s wrong now?” He asked as he crawled to the end of his bed, peeking at his laptop. Upon seeing that she was on his Chrome’s history, his eyes widen in panic and he immediately closes his laptop, startling her. Suddenly, he felts his head hurting a lot more. With a flustered expression on his face, he tried telling her. “I can explain.”

“N-No, i-it’s okay. I mean, D-Derek once told me that all guys watch -”

“No!” He cuts her off, not wanting her to change her perspective of him. “I’m innocent, I swear!”

“Jongin, you’re like, super red right now-”

“That’s because I’m sick, okay!”

Embarrassed once again, a pouting and blushing Jongin goes back to his bed, hiding under the blanket with his laptop and the picture of her still with him. Meanwhile when Soojung was still trying to get over from what she saw, her phone suddenly vibrates and was quite surprised when she sees a message from his mother (whom she was thinking of talking to) asking if she could have tea with her before she leaves, being the daughter that she has always wanted. She then replies to her shortly after as she wanted to meet up with her as well. She glances at Jongin again, and this time, he really does look like he was asleep. Gently, she takes the picture frame and the laptop beside him to place it back to where they were. She watches him for a while, before planting a quick kiss on his forehead.

“Get well soon, my love.”

Mrs. Kim couldn’t hide the happiness on her face upon seeing Soojung, and neither could she. It wasn’t the first time they meet again however. In fact, she has met Jongin’s mother much more times than she has met up with his son, since he did tell him that he indirectly didn’t want to see her for the next years (something that his mother scolded him about when she found out), but of course, it was broken today. Only that day though.

Usually, their conversations would always be happy, with her talking about how content she was for being in Harvard, but that day, she had to tell her that she was with his son and that he was sick. Mrs. Kim was worried as she expected, and promised to visit him after their breakfast.

“It must be the stress.” Soojung hears her sigh. “How will he work for the company like this?”

“Actually, that is why I wanted to see you today, auntie.” She says, putting down her spoon so she could talk properly. “I know I have no right to say this and I’m already apologizing in advance. I hope I don’t offend you.”

Curious on what she was going to say, Mrs. Kim also stops eating. “Continue, darling.”

Struggling with the words to say, Soojung didn’t speak until she finally gained confidence to do so, “Jongin is very, very upset by the fact that he might not inherit the company because of his grades. To be able to work under your company is his inspiration, and it is one of the few things that make him happy. Before we parted ways back in Paris, he sounded so excited to start and help out in the company, and now… this happens.” She looks away from her gaze. She might have starred at the older woman’s eyes a little too long. “It’s hurts me… Knowing that he’s not happy here, when he was the reason why I’m happy now.”

Just like her before, Mrs. Kim was unable to speak after she finished. It was actually Jongin’s father who is thinking of changing his successor, and she was just simply upset by how low his son’s grades are, when his grades has to be the highest during those years since it is college. “You have such love for my son. I can see it in your eyes.” She smiles weakly, thinking how wonderful of a couple they would make. “Don’t worry. I’ll talk to his father.”

It was still snowing when Jongin finally wakes up feeling better than before and was pretty sure that he doesn’t have a fever anymore. He was feeling lazy and comfortable in his bed that he decided to stay there for a little while, something that he usually doesn’t do. However, once he saw a glass of water and some pills on his night table, he remembers that Soojung was there with him.

Jumping out of bed, he was about to head downstairs in hopes to see her, but goes back to the bathroom to fix his appearance. He had a feeling that she wasn’t there anymore, but there’s nothing wrong with hoping, right? It’d be such a pity if she wasn’t, now that he felt much better than yesterday.

But unfortunately, he was indeed right. She wasn’t there anymore. Instead of seeing her, he sees his mother's back, who was seemingly reading something on the kitchen.

“Mother, what are you doing here?” He asks as he approached her. When she didn’t answer, he decided to look at where she was looking – a note right next to a plate of fried rice.

To Jonginie

You might have to microwave this ‘cause I bet you’re going to wake up late today. I hope you like it. If you didn’t notice, there was a glass of water and some pills on your night table. If you still have a fever, go ahead and drink it after eating your breakfast.

I’ll miss you a lot. Study well, but not too well. Okay, that’s sounds really bad, but you know what I mean right? Don’t worry about college too much. I know you’ll do well. You’re Kim Jongin after all.

- Soojungie

PS: I still love you too… hehe

After reading her PS, his lips automatically curve into a smile. Even when she’s writing letters, she sounds so cute. His smile quickly fades away after noticing his mother judging him but with a smile. He immediately puts up a poker face to hide his contentment to receive the note that she wrote. His mother then points out the part when she says that she loved him as if she was waiting for him to explain something. He didn’t say anything, and just kept the note inside his pocket.

“Well?” He hears her ask when he walked away to heat the fried rice that she made, and also to hide the small smile that he had tried not having.

“Well what?”

“What was that all about?”

“It was a note, mother.”

“I know. But the last part?”

Jongin was unable to reply immediately. He just silently took out his food from the microwave while her mother patiently waited for an answer. Still smiling, he finally admits to her, “I love her, mother.”

“Wha- I just wanted an explanation! Not a confession!” Surprised as that was not the answer she was expecting, Mrs. Kim gasps happily, covering . “Did I just hear it right? My son is in love? He loves someone?” She proceeds on patting his cheeks in amusement. “You’re in love?”

“Yes, mother. I am a human being too, not an alien.”

“And to Jung Soojung! To my lovely Soojung! My God, I think I’m going to cry.” The woman exclaims. She was indeed getting teary eyed, and before she could actually cry, her son hands her a tissue.

“Gosh, mother. You’ve always been so emotional.” Jongin exclaims, earning a quick smack from his mother. He could only chuckle but hugs his dearest mom anyways. “I want to marry her, as soon as we graduate.”

Because of what he said, Mrs. Kim glances at him in shock. “Are you serious?”

Jongin just nods as he flashed her a small smile.

“Well if you love her that much, why did you even let her go?!” The woman asks angrily, hitting him once again. This time, he finally breaks free of their hug as his mother didn’t stop. Shaking his head, he somewhat regrets telling her his plan, seeing how she hasn’t stop scolding him by what he has done. Maybe he shouldn’t have reminded her about what he did before. In hopes to calm her down, he makes her a cup of coffee, but even that doesn’t make his mother stop.

A slideshow of her pictures was playing in his computer screen – most of them were selfies, some of them were taking with his phone when she sometimes stole it from him, some of which were candid pictures taken by Jongin himself, and some were selfies of them together in which they showed such bright and goofy expressions. Jongin could only watch as the pictures changed every 5 seconds, with his head resting on both of his hands.

He had kept her pictures from his table, changed his password to his birthday, put a different picture as his wallpaper, but he had found it very difficult to delete her pictures. It was actually his fifth time watching the slideshow as he was having second thoughts of doing his initial plan. Maybe he should just let his grades like how it is. Maybe he should just fail so he could just think about Soojung all day.

But no. He knew that she’d hate him once he officially become the worst of his class. He wanted to impress her, make her proud