The strong taste of liquor was numbing the aching feeling in his heart. It made his head feel light while his heart remained heavy. Seungkwan wanted to feel lost for awhile, he needed to forget for awhile. Drinks after drinks, the pain sufficed but he knew before he started that after he’s unconscious stated is over, the truth will be obvious to him. There wasn’t a choice to run away so he used the chance to feel better for awhile.

“I don’t care!” He laugh at the sky, his voice was rough and his eyes are glossy. He continues walking at the side of the street but his posture wasn’t anyway close to straight which matches every steps he takes.

He takes a gulps of the strong liquor, finishing every last drop till there was no more. He frowns at the now empty bottle. It matches how he felt at the moment and every other night. There was just something about when the sun comes down that sends him off to a world where he’s reminded of what could had been and what never will be.

Seungkwan looks up at the sky with hopeful eyes. The night sky where the moon lights the darkness that falls upon the earth. The sun was behind the moon, always in the background and out of sight when the night falls.

It has always been one of his favorite concept, the moon and the sun. They loved each other so much but their path was to never cross. A love unlike others where they know the other is there but they couldn’t meet. It was full of but that made up the reasons for two lovers not coming together. But they still needed each other, even with the distance.

“If you're listening to my heart, can you come back to me” He whispers to himself, hand clutching tightly on the empty bottle. His eyes are dark, filled with sorrow and pain. His eyes shut close and a tear rolls down his cheek. There was a moment of silent that he needed for himself.

Silence has become his way of living. If he doesn’t talk or answer, it’ll minimize the chance of him having to say something that might make him feel not okay. But he wishes it was that easy. Places and faces are a reminder of the past, present and the future that he has yet to understand.

Was it all worth to feel pain for something that’s long gone? Seungkwan had asked himself the same question for so many times and it remains unanswered. He felt empty and , he just didn’t feel comfortable in his own skin anymore. He wanted an escape. He wanted to run away. He wants so much but from everything he had every wanted, it was still nothing compared to the empty void in his heart.

Nothing could fill his heart. He wanted Vernon back home and by his side. He wanted so bad to scream and cause a ruckus, maybe that’ll make Vernon come back. But Vernon remains as a name to which he calls at night when the night falls and everyone seems to be strangers to him. The remaining of what he have isn’t enough. He has a house, friends, family and a good health but it still remain as something that everyone needs in order to stay alive. He needed more than that. He’s living but he doesn’t feel like it. It felt more to his body carrying a lost soul.

Vernon was the boy that he met and never thought that the very same boy will end up owning so much of his sanity. Seungkwan wanted him back. There wasn’t anything else he could do but wish every night that Vernon will come back home to him.