This Is How I Disappear

It had somehow been some sort of normality that Jinyoung meets Mark at the hawthorn tree. They never set up the meeting and at times, Jinyoung arrives and sits alone for hours. Other times, Jinyoung arrives with Mark’s weak attempt at whistling echoing throughout the forest.

They talk. Jinyoung addicted to talking to Mark because he had never been treated like an equal before. He had always been the prince of the kingdom. And Jinyoung doesn’t have any plans on revealing to Mark that he was a prince. At least not yet.

“What are you thinking about?”

Jinyoung looked at the brunette towering over him. Jinyoung sat leaning on the tree, his legs propped towards his chest and a book was cupped in his hand; obviously forgotten.

“Sit down with me, Mark” Jinyoung said lightly. Mark set his bag of tools to lean on the roots of the tree that protruded the ground as he sat next to Jinyoung.

“Do you believe in magic?”

Mark snorts. “Was that what you were thinking about?”

“Do you?” Jinyoung asked ignoring Mark’s comments on making fun of his childish curiosity.

“Aren’t you a little old to be thinking about magic fantasies?” Mark furrowed his eyebrows in a sort of playful mocking way. His expression quickly turned into laughter when Jinyoung pouts. Jinyoung was 18 and he has another year before he turns into a proper adult and hopefully take back his throne.

“I don’t really believe in magic. I think if it exists it would have solved a lot of my problems by now” Mark smirked, toying with his tool bag. Mark came from a big family and his family were forced out of the town due to poverty. They mine what little coal that is left in the mountains daily to at least put some food on the table. But Jinyoung knew, food was scarce and tools were expensive. His stepmother had made sure only the castle could enjoy the luxuries of comfort. The discomfort in his stomach reminded him he was the root cause of it.

“I don’t know” Jinyoung said thoughtfully, wishing the bitter thoughts away from his mind. “There is a story about this tree that makes me sometimes think magic is real”

“Is Jinyoung finally telling me what he does besides read?” Mark teased which earned him a smack on the shoulder. Jinyoung had always been secretive about what he does for an obvious reason but Mark seemed to find fun in teasing him about it. Mark laughed at the exchange and Jinyoung suppressed the urge to bottle his laughter. He was addicted to that laugh just as much as he was addicted to meeting Mark here.

“My mother pricked her finger on the thorns of this tree in winter. She made a wish for a daughter who had skin white as snow, lips red as blood and hair black as night but somehow, she was stuck with me”

Jinyoung could see Mark scanning his features for a moment. His eyes looking at his face and lands at his lips.

“To be fair, you do have stunningly pale skin, glossy red lips and really dark hair”

Jinyoung tried to not think of the flutter in his heart as Mark stared at his lips.

“But I’m not a girl” he replied, biting his bottom lip.

Mark looked at him with a sneaky smile. “So am I, town boy”

Mark cackled as Jinyoung dove into his direction. They wrestle on the ground, rustling the autumn leaves. Jinyoung trying really hard to hit Mark’s playful smirk off his face and Mark trying hard to not be beat by his friend. They’ve only known each other for less than two weeks but already Jinyoung has never been closer to anyone else.

Mark not only enjoyed teasing him with awful puns and cheeky remarks but Mark also had the nickname ‘town boy’ for him. Jinyoung had never been given a nickname and even though it wasn’t technically correct – he was not a town boy but Mark didn’t need to know that – Jinyoung enjoyed it. It created a form of bond Jinyoung was never granted with anyone else; closeness.

They lay sprawled side by side on the ground, breath laboured from exhaustion but giggles occasionally leaving their tired bodies.

“For what it’s worth, you don’t need to be a girl to be beautiful. I’m pretty sure you’re mother is proud to have you as a son” Mark said propping elbows so his head could rest on his palms.

Jinyoung’s stomach does a little flip at Mark implying he was beautiful.

“I wouldn’t know” Jinyoung whispered, still catching his breath. “She passed away”

“I’m sorry. I had no idea”

“It’s alright” Jinyoung offered a smile.

Mark looked at Jinyoung tenderly. He picked up Jinyoung’s hands and intertwined it with his own. “I still think she would be proud though. If only she could hear you sing”

Jinyoung watched the sunlight play of Mark’s handsome features and it hits him. The fastening in his heart rate and the bloom of happiness he felt were only feelings he felt around Mark. It wasn’t just because Mark treats him like an equal. It was because he was falling in love with him.

Jinyoung, the prince, was falling in love with the coal miner of the forest, Mark.

-o0o-

“Are you skipping work to spend time with me?”

They were perched by the tree again. Jinyoung abused throat now causing his voice to sound hoarse. He had been imitating sounds of different birds, trying to imitate their call. Mark had pointed out that no matter what sound he made the birds still came to him. They just didn’t seem to like Mark.

“My brothers only hate me a little more than they already do. It’s no big deal, town boy” Mark mumbled as he kicked dead leaves off the ground. He had long given up whistling trying to get birds to come to him. There was simply no point.

“Are you using me as an excuse to be lazy?”

“Maybe” he smirked and Jinyoung falls just a little deeper.

-o0o-

Days fly by so fast and autumn was coming to an end. The weather in the kingdom was too chilly for them to sit around at the tree. So they have resorted into walking. Mark armed with a dagger in case they ran into wild animals and Jinyoung follows Mark calmly.

Mark insists that there are dangers that lurk in the forest much like the rumours Jinyoung was used to hearing. Jinyoung just never encounters them. And to be frank, the castle seemed like a more dangerous place than the forests.

At least, animals that kill you aren’t two-faced liars.

“Would you still be friends with me if I’m not who you think I am?”

Mark stopped midway into cutting of a branch to clear a route to look at Jinyoung with a puzzled look. “Who could you possibly be?”

“Just answer the question, Mark” Jinyoung said rolling his eyes. He pets the sparrow that had seemed to refuse to leave his shoulder since he entered the forest and it let out a small chirp of satisfaction.

“If the birds like you, you can’t be that bad”

-o0o-

“It may be hard to come back and do nothing here in the future” Jinyoung announced when he had finally arrived at the clearing. The hawthorn tree was dusted with snow and the protruding roots were no longer visible under the bed of snow. The winters were harsh and darkness arrived early so the time they had together were already limited.

The queen however had started to notice that Jinyoung went missing for chunks of the day everyday and she now had ordered him to be followed. Jinyoung has to put special effort to sneak out and could never spend more than an hour roaming the forest with Mark. His days were seeming gloomier by each day.

Today, he had almost been caught but he had snuck out from the busy kitchen with the help of his kitchen helpers. Yet, it was still risky.

“Going to be busy, town boy?” Mark said from where he was leaning on the tree. Mark had a knife and was peeling what seemed to be an apple. Judging from the mess of apple skin surrounding him he must have been waiting for awhile now.

“Maybe” Jinyoung whispered. He felt bad. Maybe they should set a time to meet so Mark wouldn’t have to wait any longer than he needed to. But Jinyoung really couldn’t stick to schedule. He needed flexibility.

“What is it that you do in town?” Mark asked suspiciously. This question had risen in the time they had spent with each other. But Jinyoung refused to give a straight answer.

“Something” Jinyoung said trying to seem nonchalant. He whistles trying to find something to do to avoid confrontation. A dove swoops down on his shoulder. He started to sing a melody he knew doves could easily imitate.

“I hate it when you are so vague” Mark groans. “When you are here, sing as loud as you can”

“I will try” Jinyoung said.

“You want to see something I found while waiting for you?” Mark huffed, pushing his body off the tree to hand Jinyoung the apple he had in his hand. Jinyoung nods and mumbled a thanks as he followed Mark who was skipping excitedly, deeper into the forest.

“Why do you peel of the skin of the apple? It’s my favourite part” Jinyoung whined, letting the dove on his shoulder nip the apple in his hand.

“Apple skin is poison” Mark exaggeratingly exasperated. Mark was playful and Jinyoung loved it. Jinyoung would escape the guards’ any day for a chance to see Mark laugh gleefully.

They thread into the depths of the forest until Mark came into a halt. Jinyoung idly whistling to the dove on his shoulder, enjoying the company he was depraved of in the castle.

“Do you hear that?”

Jinyoung’s ears perked to listen to his surroundings. There were faint sounds of wind howling but beneath it Jinyoung could hear a constant thumping. The sound getting louder the more Jinyoung heard it. The dove flew of his shoulders and Jinyoung watched it fly. It's cooing loud and shrill as if it wanted Jinyoung's attention. It's then that Jinyoung saw the fast movement behind the trees and the sounds of hooves thundering the ground. 

“Horses?” Mark asked to no one in particular. Jinyoung gulped.

“We need to hide!” Jinyoung practically screeched yanking onto Mark’s wrist pulling him towards the largest tree Jinyoung could find.

“The castle guards?” Mark whispered. Jinyoung could feel his breath on his skin. “Jinyoung, why are we hiding from the castle guards?”

Jinyoung hushed Mark and closed his eyes, hoping the guards wouldn’t see them. The sounds of hooves thundering the ground however were only getting louder by the minute.

“What’s going on?” Mark asked. His complexion pale from what Jinyoung could only see as confusion and fear. He backed away out of Jinyoung’s grip and accidently steps onto a branch. The sound echoed through the forest gaining the attentions of the guards.

Jinyoung winced.

“Stay here until they’re all gone, Mark” Jinyoung warned as he held Mark against the tree to hide him. “Don’t you dare come out!”

Mark looked more confused than ever as Jinyoung raises his hands in surrender and walked out from where they were hiding. He takes one last look at Mark. This would probably be the last time Mark would see him as an equal. This would be the last time he would see Mark.

I’m sorry.

Jinyoung faces the smug look on the guards face as he approached. There were at least 8 of them and Jinyoung was severely outnumbered. He couldn’t run because they were on horses and Jinyoung was on foot. It would only be foolish. He had no way out. He was to face the evil queen’s wrath whether they like it or not.

“Finally decided you had enough of hiding, eh?” the guard said as he dismounted his stead to place a heavy arm across Jinyoung’s shoulder.

Jinyoung knew the most loyal men of the queen were filthy. They would do whatever it was to please their queen and took particular pleasure in making him uncomfortable. It was no secret Jinyoung hated the queen from within the castle. There were no telling what torment they would put on him to reach the castle.

“The queen isn’t so pleased, sire” he taunted, making Jinyoung want to punch his face.

“Keep your hands to yourself please” Jinyoung said between gritted teeth. With just enough force, the guards would know their places; Jinyoung hoped.

However, they didn’t.

“I hope one day, the queen announces you as the traitor you are and then I wouldn’t be so nice” one of the men threatens as he roughly pushes Jinyoung to the ground. Jinyoung felt shame as he thought of Mark watching him being tormented this way. He had never been angrier about the torments than this moment.

“Stop!”

Jinyoung eyes flew open at the voice.

“Mark... No!”

It all happened too fast. Jinyoung was blocked from approaching. He struggled against their grip but it was no use. All the guards charged towards Mark immediately reprimanding him. Jinyoung could see Mark shouting as he struggled, trying to free himself. But he was outnumbered and so was Jinyoung.

“Who are you, boy?”

Jinyoung watched in terror as the man clad in armour kicked Mark in his stomach.

“Who are you to defy the orders of the queen?” he mocked as kicked Mark harder causing Mark to groan in pain.

“Stop!” Jinyoung shouted desperately. “Stop! Leave him out of this! He did nothing wrong!”

“He tried to hit the castle guards and tried to kidnap you, sire. He is guilty of treason to the queen” he said blocking Jinyoung from running Mark’s side. Jinyoung winces as Mark wiped the blood running down his nose with the edge of his sleeve.

“He did no such thing” Jinyoung said, challenging the head guard. “If you are here to take me, then take me. Leave him out of this”

Mark finally looked up at him and Jinyoung just wants to be by his side. But he had to stand his ground or the guards would hurt him further. He could see the tint of sadness in Mark’s eyes but Jinyoung couldn’t do anything about it. He could only leave. It was for the better.

“I’m sorry” he mumbled under his breath as the guards pull him away.

-o0o-

“You are pathetic” the queen screeches at him. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you were gone?”

Jinyoung felt anger surge in his heart. She was spewing nonsense just to spite him and Jinyoung hated that it was working.

“It doesn’t matter what you say. It’ll be my birthday in two weeks and this will all be over for you”

“Would it?” she taunted. “You haven’t been paying attention to the rulings, have you?”

“You wouldn’t!” Jinyoung outraged. “You promised!”

She breaks into a high pitched evil laugh that sends chills down Jinyoung’s spine.

“I promised you? I never promised you anything,” she snarled, standing up from her seat to face Jinyoung. “You delusional little boy, I wasn’t about to handover the kingdom to you. I was never going to,”

“You are vile! You disgust me!”

She chuckled as he stood rooted in the middle of the room. Her dark eyes scanned Jinyoung. “Leave,” she said as she turned her back.

“I will expose you to the Kingdom. You will be hanged for treason!” Jinyoung screamed, rage making his blood boil.

“tsk... tsk.. tsk..” she tooted as she glanced sideways at Jinyoung. “Do you not realize who you are up against boy?”

She lifts her arm in an exaggerated motion as she turned to Jinyoung. “I killed your father”

It was then Jinyoung felt like there was a force clamping down his neck, cutting off his air supply. He watched helplessly at the evil queen’s hand that was raised at his direction. The queen was choking him without even laying a finger on him. The queen was choking him with magic.

 “You are a witch” he choked, struggling as he felt himself lift of the ground from the unknown force.

“Yes, Jinyoung, I am a witch. A powerful one that was able to kill your father,” she laughed. “It was easy. A simple love potion and you’re father would have died for me,”

Jinyoung struggled against the strong grasp that was lifting him off the ground. His eyes trained on the murderer of his father.

“He told me of his sufferings before he died. Side effects of the potion, you see. He told me that your mother wanted a daughter not a son,” an evil smirk etched on her face as she watched Jinyoung suffocate. “He told me that your mother died because of you,”

“If it weren’t for you, Jinyoung, you’re mother would still be here and I would have never killed him. It is your fault that your parents died,”

“No...” Jinyoung pleaded. He could feel his heartbeat slow down and his vision blur. He was dying and there was nothing he could do. The tears streaming down his cheeks were fruitless like his efforts to make something in his life. In the end, he was the source of suffering to the whole kingdom.

“Maybe if you were a girl,” she taunted. “You’re mother would have gotten what she wanted and your father wouldn’t have blamed you for her death. But you were never what they wanted!”

Her laughter echoed the room and Jinyoung could feel his consciousness almost slipping out of his grasp.

“It’s too late now, boy,” she breathed as she came closer to Jinyoung’s struggling body.

“YOU ARE NOTHING...”

I’m dying...

“BUT A...”

This is the end...

“POWERLESS...”

It can’t be...

“PATHETIC”

I can’t breathe...

“SCUM!”

Jinyoung could feel his limbs giving up on struggling against gravity. His energy drained and his vision lowly turning darker and darker before there was a knock on the door. Jinyoung coughed for air as he fell with a thud on the ground.

“I trust this is a sufficient warning, Jinyoung”

Jinyoung slipped out as the doors open to reveal servants urgently entering to chambers. Then, he ran as fast as his feet would take him towards the library. He needed some space to let the information sink in. He needed to recollect himself before the queen would finish him.

A chill ran down his spine when he realized that there was no way he would have been alive if it weren’t for that knock. And every second he spent in the castle meant the closer he was to his doom.

He needs to run.