“I will try, no, I have to, and I need to….to forget my feeling for him.” A final and no backing away decision was made after a heartbreaking day, to Jimin at least.

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It was a fine day, really sunny and windy that most of the members chose to sleep, re-charging all the lost energy after so much dance practice and performances for the past month. It’s nearing the autumn season judging by the leaves that started to change from green to yellowish or brownish and the night turned to cold but not low enough to freeze.

Hoseok and Yoongi were sleeping in their rooms; respectively, with Jin was having another schedule, a personal one, going out with his friends. Namjoon used the free time to start writing a new lyric, but after one hour of jotting rubbish and scrabble, he decided to just leave his work unfinished and went to Taehyung’s room instead. Watching the duo, Jungkook and Taehyung played the video game was more fun and more enjoyable than rotting alone in his room.

Fighting using a game stick was tenser than fighting in real, punching the air while calculating the right angle to hit the opponent. Jungkook and Taehyung were sweating like river despite of turning the air-conditioner to low, but both refused to wipe it away.

“1…2….and OUT.” Taehyung shouted after knocking out Jungkook’s character after giving him not one but triple kick. Hands were waving up in the air, doing some victory ritual.

“Urgh! Okay, what is your deal?” Jungkook asked. Namjoon chuckled at the maknae bitter voice, sounding so much like someone who had gulped a spoon of bitter liquid medicine.

Taehyung stopped to think about Jungkook’s punishment for one, two, three seconds before bulb lighted up in his mind, turning the switch to function the gear in his brain again. Jungkook hated that smug look on Taehyung’s face, eyes were beaming with undefinable light which could mean one thing; a weird plus humiliating punishment was waiting for Jungkook.

Taehyung faced Namjoon for a second, like asking for a permission but Namjoon just frowned at him, confused and puzzled at that sudden eye-signal from Taehyung. Namjoon nudged his own head while shrugging his shoulder off, completely not understood the reason behind the wink that he got from Taehyung.

“Damn. Every person in this house is very ignorant sometimes.”

“Don’t be dramatic and melancholic. Just tell me now.” Jungkook’s patience was wearing thin layer by now.

“Okay! Okay! I want you to confess your feeling to Jimin.” Full stop and this was the precise words that Jungkook hated the most, confess to Jimin.

Jungkook did, successfully not flutter nor looking so surprised after hearing it, controlling the emotion on his face, still had the cool look on him but the way he was fidgeting with his shirt showed everyone in the room Jungkook’s true feeling.

“I don’t like him. What are you talking about?” Jungkook high-fived to himself for not stuttering or panicking,

“Don’t be shy. I know you like Jimin too.” And Jungkook missed the important part, totally not processing the word coming from V correctly, I know you like Jimin too, that could only rmean one thing, Jimin liked him back, but then his mind was too eager to retort back, to bounce the truth back to its hiding place.

“What kind of nonsense is that?” Jungkook fired again. Namjoon, leader of Bangtan, the one to monitor every member act and behavior in silence watched the drama unfolded in front of him in amused.

“I don’t like him, okay!”

“Then why are you always staring at Jimin?” V asked.

“No, I’m not, besides I literally stared at everyone. So you meant that when I stared at someone then I liked him. What bull.” Jungkook reasoned.

“But you look at him lovingly, heart eye and all but to us, more like shooting a hole through our head.”

Jungkook ruffled his hair in disbelief. “When and where. Give me the exact time and event alongside with a proof.”

“I-I don’t have it. Why did you need a proof?” V was losing in the battle, so he searched for a backup plan. “Hyung, you think so too, right?”

“What?” Namjoon looked away from his phone, giving his attention back to them.

“That Jungkook liked Jiminnie too.”

“Oh! That? Yes, I think so. Jungkook seemed to---“

“Stop! Stop! Don’t attack me anymore.” Jungkook cut Namjoon off, not letting him finish his word.

He was meant to say that Jungkook seemed to be jealous at his and Jimin little moment. Namjoon wished that he would never notice something like that but Jungkook made it impossible to go unnoticed. Sometimes it's subtle and sometimes it’s too burdening, like Jungkook did not try to hide his jealousy at all.

One time, when Jimin was helping Namjoon in their dance choreography and Jimin was being the usual Jimin, having no problem in touching and skinship had lingered his hand at Namjoon’s body way longer than Jungkook liking. Namjoon could feel a death threat was coming towards him from somewhere and he didn’t have to turn to know who had sent it to him. But when Jimin giggled loudly at his awkward movement, Jungkook, the true meaning of an awkward person had scolded Jimin.

“Yah! You’re so noisy. Can’t you see I’m trying to focus here?”

“Oh! Sorry! Sorry!” Jimin apologized, eyeing him for two second before shifting his attention back to Namjoon, hands still on Namjoon’s back. “Hyung, just relax a bit. You’re so stiff.” Jimin giggled again but volumed it down but still, Jungkook could catch it while practising at the corner alone, silently murdering Namjoon in his mind.

Well, there was a lot more than that incident where the jeonlous from Jungkook came out but Namjoon wanted to stop recalling about it since it would only run the shiver down to his spine.

“YAH! Can you all be quiet? I’m sleeping here.” Hoseok yelled at them in sudden making every head to turn towards his bed. “Didn’t realize you were there, Hyung.” Taehyung grinned sheepishly at Hoseok while looking apologetic.

“But seriously Jungkook, your crush on Jimin is showing, you know?” Hoseok sat up, sleep was long gone. His tone was not teasing like Taehyung but more like a caring brother would like, seeing his brother deniable state.

“I. don’t. like. Jimin. Do you understand it?”

“I don’t like you too, kid.” Jimin made his appearance, walking gracefully to the bathroom, eyes not looking at Jungkook or everyone else as he moved in front of them.

It was just a short answer or confession but why everyone turned pale and dead? Once Jimin’s body had disappeared into the bathroom and that was the time when the others seemed to be alive again but one person remained dead, soul already out from his body.

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Jimin closed the door softly, afraid that it might broke like how his heart at that time. He was lazying alone in the living room, watching drama after cartoon until he heard a bickering sound coming from his room. Looked like Taehyung annoyed Jungkook again was what he thought. Jimin took a slow step into the room, walking while humming a song from his own group.

His hands were on the knob, twisting it before opening the door slightly to hear clearly what Jungkook had said that he didn’t like someone but who?. So, Jimin planned to stay unalarmed since everyone still not aware of his presence.

That Jungkook liked Jiminnie too. He heard it from Taehyung and his heart beat differently from its usual rhythm. Jimin tried very hard to halt that word from sinking more into his brain and heart, afraid that it might stick there longer than he intended to.

I. Don’t. Like. Jimin. Do you understand it? And this time it was Jungkook’s voice, clear and clean from any noise, not being filtered at all. Jimin’s heart broke apart into pieces before turning to dust and disappear in the air. Did it hurt? How much it hurt? So much but pretending it to be just a joke was hurting like hell and saying that he didn’t like Jungkook back, took his breath away.

Jimin leaned his back against the door, letting it out through his tear. His eyes felt hot and sting, but Jimin didn’t care about it at all, allowing his tear to flow out reaching his cheek before fall down to the floor. He stayed silent, covering his sob using the back of his hand.

“I will try, no, I have to, and I need to….to forget my feeling for him.”

After 10 minutes, Jimin came out, eyes no longer red but still swollen. Thankfully, there was no one in the room by that time to see his swollen eyes. So, Jimin walked to his bed before closing his eyes with a new determination.