Pretending to be unaffected by the other’s presence is a very strange thing; you’re supposed to acknowledge him, but at the same time, not linger too much on that interaction just in case it becomes misconstrued and you get under fire for something as insignificant as a look.

But at the same time, can a look be insignificant, or does it have to be something that is filled with meaning?

I don’t know. I doubt he knows also.

We agreed for this to be under control. We agreed it would be best if there were no more familiarity.

So why do I feel that there is something unfinished? Why is it that when I turn, he looks at me the way he does, like he wants to say something but is afraid that whatever he wishes to tell me will be his – and my own – unravelling?

You know something is up when you’re the first person called into the balcony for your individual interview.

Ugh this is so embarrassing, everyone is probably watching me through the glass doors.

Sun Young sat on the bench in the balcony, feeling the chill of the night air against her cheeks as she stared across her at the producer across her.

She curled her legs underneath her in nervous anticipation, as the other woman looked at her through a pair of hipster glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose, with a paper in one hand and a pen in the other.

She’s been staring at me for about five minutes; it’s quite unsettling.

Sun Young fidgeted under the scrutiny, biting her lip nervously as she glanced at the cameraman behind the camera.

Luhan stared back, just as nervously; he was the designated interview cameraman, and had yet to be instructed.

Up close, Producer Kim looked young, as though she was in her late twenties, although she was probably older than how she looked – as did everyone she knew. Her platinum blond hair was messily tied into a bun, with things stuck into it, from chopsticks to pencils, one of which she pulled from her hair.

She raised her hand towards Luhan, prompting him to hastily pass her a clipboard.

She glanced down at it, before tossing it behind her, just in time for the startled cameraman to catch it in his hands.

Sun Young gulped, her eyes wide with shock, as the producer leaned forwards.

“I was about to ask the typical questions of the day,” she said in a measured voice, which would have not sounded threatening except for her unblinking gaze, “Like, how was the stables, or, did you have fun riding the horses, or, were you scared when your house suddenly bolted and ran off, but I think, my dear girl, the main scoop here is not the fiasco at the equestrian club, don’t you think so?”

Sun Young stared back uncomfortably.

So she’s saying that being mortified in front of the cameras is more dramatic than dying from a crazy horseriding trip.

I don’t understand her, seriously.

“Answer me, girl,” the producer barked.

She swallowed. “Y-Yes?”

“Good… I am curious, my dear, as to how things escalated the way they did in the dining room. Aren’t you interested as well?” she asked, “Ju Hyun and you are not friends, I take it?”

How did she even know-

Oh, right. The live feed.

She probably watches everyone while they eat too.

Creepy.

Sun Young tried to answer the woman’s question. “I thought we could be friends at first-”

“I shall take that as a no,” she interrupted, letting out a heavy sigh, “Hmm… Now, Sun Young, think about this for some time, I am sure you’d have to think long and hard, is that alright?”

“Um, okay.”

The producer smiled – or was it smirked? – and shared a glance with Luhan, who looked equally clueless. She turned back to Sun Young, her eyes looking almost gleeful as she spoke.

“In a sentence, tell me, what is love to you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard me, girl.”

Uhhh…

What?

“I…” Sun Young began, before she paused. “I’m not supposed to answer that very generally, aren’t I?”

“Not at all. I expect one that comes from inside of you,” PD Kim replied with a little chuckle, “From the bottom of your own heart. Not a textbook answer.”

Well. “I’m not very good with words…”

“Take all the time you need. We have all night.”

“But the others-”

“Honey, I would like to know more about you,” PD Kim interjected, looking slightly impatient, “Come, come. Relax a bit, we shall be here awhile. Are you cold? Do you need a jacket?”

“Um-”

“Luhan, get a jacket, or a blanket, please.”

The cameraman scurried back towards the Suite, giving Sun Young no time to react as she blinked at the producer, who was smiling lazily.

“Come, come. Don’t just stare at me, girl, tell me what is love!”

Chanyeol walked out of the bathroom, wiping his bedraggled wet hair as he walked towards his table, dropping into his swivel chair with a tired sigh.

His whole body seemed to be weighed down by the incident in the dining room, his muscles getting tense and wound up when he replayed the recollection of what had happened in his mind.

He finished wiping his hair, tossing his towel onto the sofa just in front of the table, and leaned back in his chair. As he combed through his hair with his fingers, he reached to feel the coarse ugly scars on the left side of his face, and he sighed to himself.

If she can’t stand the sight of my face, what more when she eventually sees this part of me?

Too focused in thought, he hadn’t seen Baekhyun appearing, walking out of the bedroom, having changed out of his fancy clothes into printed pajamas, and he leaned against the doorframe as he watched his friend.

“Did you find her?” he asked.

Chanyeol looked up, taking in his friend’s appearance, from the mussed-up hair, to the uncharacteristically dour demeanour.

Baek must have been worried.

He worries too much.

He turned back to his table, noticing the stack of files Secretary Choi had brought to his room earlier. He took one from the pile, nodding. “Yeah.”

What’s this?

His hand brushed over a small bouquet of flowers.

He frowned, about to ask his friend about it, when he saw his mother’s writing.

“What did you say?”

Chanyeol’s lips pressed together, parting only to release a sigh. “Nothing much.”

“What did she say?”

He flipped through the file, seeing the words and numbers swimming before his eyes. He shut it, pushed it slightly to the side. “Nothing much.”

“Is she okay?”

Chanyeol nodded again.

Baekhyun padded closer. “Are you okay?”

“I think so.”

His friend reached out and patted him on the shoulder. “How about you call it a day, hmm? Get someone to bring you a bite to eat, and do the paperwork first thing in the morning, what do you think?”

Chanyeol shook his head, albeit hesitantly, and reached for the file again. “I need to work. Get my mind off things.”

Baekhyun slapped his hand away. “Come on, man, you can’t work at this state. Look at you, being all emo and .”

“I need to find something to focus on,” Chanyeol murmured, “If not, I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” Baekhyun challenged, “What will you do?”

“Look, Baek, I appreciate you being a really good friend, I really do, but Sun Young and I…we’re never going to work. At least not the way you keep saying it will,” he blurted, “I mean, I really like that it was all fun and exciting at first, but it seems that she’s set her mind on not pursuing any kind of romantic attachment, not just with me, mind you, but in general.”

“Why’s that?”

Chanyeol held the bouquet closer to him, peering at his mother’s handwriting. “Something to do with her father, he said distractedly, “He abandoned her and her mother.”

Hope everything is going well, Channie! Here’s a little baby’s breath. Don’t they look pretty?

He looked up at his friend, who looked impressed. “She told you that?” he asked.

He nodded.

Baekhyun gasped. “What an !” he exclaimed, “What kind of father is that, leaving his wife and kid? Sun Young and her mother look so pleasant.”

Chanyeol didn’t say anything. He could imagine a young girl, peppering her mother with questions wanting to know her father’s whereabouts, and finally realizing that she was never going to hear the answer she wanted to hear.

He found himself feeling her pain.

Because hadn’t he spent his whole childhood wondering if his father ever loved him, only to see the latter be prouder of Kyungsoo instead of him? Or, to see his father constantly saying at dinner how Yoora was making him proud whenever he saw her on the news?

Even after his old man died, he never got to find out the answer. Heck, he never even got to know if his father loved him.

Sun Young was probably the same.

He shut his eyes, his mind going back in time to see the younger version of himself, knocking on the door of the library in the West Wing, sometime after his accident, and feeling so exhilarated when his father opened the door…only to tell him to play somewhere else.

At the time, he was just happy to have seen him; he had made little biscuits, and he managed to one into his father’s hand before running off.

But now, he thought, as a tear rolled down his cheek, now he just felt so sad for the poor boy who tried so hard to get the appreciation and affection he so desired.

“-and I was totally shocked at how y she could get- whoa, bro, are you alright?”

Chanyeol hurriedly swiped his tears. “It’s just…my father…” he choked out, trying to breathe, “I just got reminded…of him…”

He covered his face with his hands, letting out a long exhale. “I’m okay, it just came up suddenly,” he said, hearing how hoarse he sounded, “Why am I so emotional?”

Baekhyun came closer, leaning against the side of the swivel chair as he placed an arm around his friend’s shoulder, pulling him for a hug. “Hey, man, it’s fine,” he said, patting reassuringly, “I know this probably sounds insensitive, but he’s not here anymore, you won’t have to suffer from his criticisms again.”

Chanyeol knew how accurate the statement was, but as Baekhyun successfully urged him out of the chair, away from the paperwork, he couldn’t help but think that – even though his father was gone – he was still suffering.

He wondered when it would end.

“My, my, Chen, don’t you look ravishing today!” Xiumin exclaimed, reaching out to his co-host and patting his shoulder, “You look ready for the runway!”

Chen grinned, pretending to look shy. “Why, thank you! I like to say I have good sense when it comes to clothes,” he said modestly, before taking on a thoughtful expression, “By the way, would you say I look like I just came out of a photoshoot?”

“Now you’re just fishing for compliments,” Xiumin said, rolling his eyes at the camera.

“It’s not that,” Chen said with a laugh, “Confidence is half of what it takes to have a successful personal style, and today, ladies and gentlemen, the girls will be directly involved not only in the development of their own style, but the creation of their group and individual photoshoot as well.”

“That is absolutely right,” Xiumin said with a nod, “They will be personally guided by a team of experienced stylists, photographers, and motivational coaches to come up with a concept as a group, and they will be showcasing it in a runway photoshoot this evening.”

“Unlike the previous games, the top three groups with the most scores will be given a rose each, as well as being safe from the judgement round tonight,” Chen said, “But without further ado, let’s make our way to the studio and see how the girls are doing!”

“…and, cut!” PD Kim announced, “That was good, I think we’ll just use that take.”

Chen and Xiumin bowed slightly. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Chen, you have got to work on your smiling. It looks like a dinosaur, for goodness’ sake,” she snapped, “How many times do I have to tell you, don’t grin. Smile. SMILE.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you, Xiumin, you tend to slur your words. I get it, you’re trying to sound cute and all, but you come across as a preschool kid trying to differentiate your S and your Sh. Work on your pronunciation.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

PD Kim flipped through her clipboard. “Is the bus here yet?”

A staff hurried over. “Right outside, ma’am,” she said, “The crew is almost finished fixing the cameras inside.”

“Okay, good. Where are the girls?” she asked, staring impatiently at the watch, “Someone please get them here.”

Chen raised his hand. “I’ll do it,” he offered quickly, casting him a look and muttering something along the lines of I better get out of here before she picks on me again. Giving his co-host a shrug, he hurried towards the West Wing.

PD Kim was notorious for her temper whenever they didn’t follow schedule. Having worked with her in virtually every reality program, Xiumin was accustomed with a lot of her good and bad traits, and he strived to ensure that she was not wound up easily.

He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he regarded PD Kim, who was staring intently at her phone. “You alright?”

“Fine,” she said, without looking up.

“Do you want something to eat or drink?”

Her head snapped up. “What, you think I’m being grumpy because I didn’t eat?”

He pressed his lips together. “That’s not what I said-”

“Oh, sure, Minseok,” she snapped, using his real name as she glanced to make sure no one was listening to them, “Just because we were in a relationship once, doesn’t mean I want to be taken care of like I used to.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but she huffed and walked away before he could speak.

He sighed, watching her go.

At least it’s not a car today, Sun Young thought to herself as she leaned against the window of the bus as it moved. They had been on the road for about half an hour now, and the weather was good, not too chilly and not too bright. Both Victoria and Sulli were asleep, leaning over each other as they slept, and Amber was next to her, reading a booklet on the photography studio they were on the way to, humming to herself every now and then.

She was thankful that the morning had passed swiftly, moving faster than it felt on other days. When it was announced that they would be doing a photoshoot, the girls had been so preoccupied with the news, not really coming over to her and asking about last night.

Even though she knew Kyungri and her friends meant well, she didn’t like to have to share her unpleasant experiences with others and she wasn’t going to want to talk about it, especially with Ju Hyun being in the picture. She had been quiet all morning, thank goodness, and Sun Young had found it easy to ignore her existence.

Chanyeol had been silent as well. In fact, he barely spoke, and he had gulped down his morning coffee while Baekhyun entertained the table at large with stories about being a wedding photographer back in his university days. She didn’t know if it was because of last night, and she didn’t know why he seemed like he needed sleep with the way his eyes look sunken and empty as they looked around.

He had made no move to intercept her on the way to the beverages table either, which was strange because she knew how he almost always did that. Concern had filled her again when they had all boarded the bus, with PD Kim telling them to show off their charms in front of the individual cameras installed in the bus.

Kyungri had led the show, creating a fun atmosphere with games that left the majority of them either singing, cheering, squealing, or laughing. Sun Young realized that the doe-eyed model was a natural in front of the camera, exuding charm and beauty as she spoke, and even making Ju Hyun turn every now and then to glance at her.

I would choose her, if I was Chanyeol. She’s funny and likeable and charismatic.

No doubt anyone in her team would be safe for today’s photoshoot.

“What are you thinking of?” Amber asked next to her.

Sun Young tore her eyes away from Kyungri. “Just…I think Kyungri’s winner-material,” she said with a shrug.

Amber glanced at Kyungri, who was singing along to a folk song. “Dude, Kyungri’s the ultimate triple threat, of course she’s winner material,” she said, before grinning, “Why, are you feeling a bit competitive today?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, I don’t know…You’ve been eyeing the prize lately, so…”

Sun Young’s eyes widened, poking her friend’s ribs in panic. “Don’t say it out loud!” she hissed.

“It doesn’t matter, we haven’t been given the small microphones yet, they can’t pick up what we’re saying.”

“But still,” Sun Young muttered, poking her friend’s ribs again and making Amber gasp for breath, “Don’t expose me!”

“Oy my god, we’re here!” Sojin said, as everyone turned to her, “Look, there’s the camera crew.”

Sun Young turned to the window, and sure enough, there PD Kim was, with her army of staff and their equipment, and as the bus pulled over, Sun Young saw how the cameras were facing the bus doors.

Sojin fixed her jet-black hair. “Just another day at work, eh, girls?” she asked Kyungri and their friends.

Hyuna laughed. “Work? It’s a hobby for me,” she mused, “I just get paid for it. Oh my gosh, look at these two, they’re so cute!”

Sun Young chuckled. “They were the last ones to do the interview last night,” she said, reaching out to gently shake Sulli awake, while Amber did the same for Victoria, “I think it must have been about two in the morning.”

“I did my interview at midnight,” Sera said, “I think they’re gonna smack a lot of concealer under my eyes before the shoot later.”

“Let’s go, girls!” Jaekyung called, as they began to make their way out of the bus.

Victoria stirred. “Are we there yet?” she slurred, as they nodded.

Sulli woke up with a little gasp. “I’m awake!” she cried, looking around them, “Wow, we’re already here! Let’s go!”

She got out of her chair and began to walk down the bus aisle, turning back. “Come on, you’re so slow!”

They hurried after her.

Sun Young hopped off the bus, before standing in line with the other girls as they faced the hosts and Chanyeol, as well as three strangers who were standing next to them.

One of them was a tall and lean man, with wavy chin-length mahogany hair, large eyes, wearing a chequered blazer and matching pants.

The other was a woman, with a slicked-back ponytail and red lips. She was wearing a chequered jumpsuit and tall black pumps, smiling happily at them.

The third was a petite-sized man with orange hair, large black shades, with pouted lips, dressed in oversized chequered shirt, similar to the first man’s suit, over ripped jeans.

Their visuals are on a different level.

“You ladies look excited,” Chen commented, as the girls shared giggles, “Are you ready for today’s games?”

“Yes!” they chorused.

Xiumin beamed. “Good, because I hope that you’ll be able to channel that energy and enthusiasm to your shoot,” he said encouragingly, “Before we get to the technicalities, it is my pleasure to introduce you to the team behind today’s competitive round!”

Sun Young and the girls clapped vigorously as the trio stepped forward.

“The first is our Head Stylist, Kim Heechul!” Chen said, as the man with long wavy hair raised his hands to wave energetically, making them laugh.

“Our Head of Modelling and Photography will be Bae Su-ji,” Xiumin announced, as the woman bowed slightly, her red lips raised in a smile.

“And finally, Head of Creative Design, who will be helping you with the creative concepts of a photoshoot,” Chen began, “Is Kwon Ji-yong!”

The man in shades stepped forward, the ends of his lips raised slightly, and he raised a hand in greeting.

“They will be your mentors and will guide you in the process of crafting your own shoot, after which you will present your best pictures to the judges,” Xiumin continued, “Director Park will also be participating in the photoshoot with each group, and he, along with the mentors, will be evaluating you on the aspects of your performance, such as creativity, execution, skill and involvement in the tasks given.”

Chanyeol nodded, and Sun Young felt her heart skip a beat.

“He’s going to be in our photoshoot!” Sulli said excitedly, as the girls cheered, “Do you know how cool that is? Oh my gosh!”

“Now, now,” Chen said, “We will now begin to separate you into your respective groups. Unlike the previous group assignments, this one is actually partly decided by you.”

“That’s right, Chen,” Xiumin agreed, “Based off your answers last night, we have grouped you based on the themes of your answer to the question, “What is love to you?” and if you find that you’re in the same group, that means their answer falls under the same theme.”

“Team One will be Commitment, Team Two will be Joy, and Team Three will be Acceptance,” Chen announced, “I will start with the first one, for Hyebin, whose answer was “If love was defined, it would be waking up to something that brings you happiness and a reason to smile,” making her our first contestant in Team Two!”

Oh .

Suddenly she was transported to the night before, sitting in the balcony with the blanket Luhan had draped around her, staring at the producer who was sipping orange juice.

“It’s not that difficult, it’s just a sentence,” PD Kim asked, “Think carefully, the future depends on it.”

‘The future depends on it’ sounds a little too much. Dramatic much, PD-nim?

Sun Young “I find it a bit vague, to be honest. I can’t really think of how to summarize it in one sentence.”

PD Kim leaned back in her rattan chair, chuckling to herself as she regarded her. “My dear girl, the best things in life are vague. If our lives were planned out, perfect and easily described, that isn’t life. That is called fiction.”

“Some people lead predictable lives.”

At least, I do…

…did.

Darn it, she’s right.

“True, but one day something happens and something comes to change everything they know,” came the reply, “Maybe a boring accountant who goes to work everyday to find money for his family realizes that her husband has been cheating on her. Or, a student has to drop out because his parents are unable to afford his education. Or, to make it simple, a girl who thinks she is never going to be part of a competition finds herself in it, and has to make the best of her opportunity there.”

Sun Young swallowed.

The producer gave her a little smile. “It’s these little things that have the ability to just change your life, for better or for worse,” she said, “Love is one of those things.”

“I suppose.”

“So, Sun Young, what can you say about it?”

I don’t know! I’ve never been in love, not that kind! This is not the question for me.

As if she knew what was running through her mind, PD Kim chuckled. “I’m guessing you’ve never been in a relationship?”

Sun Young coughed.

“I thought so,” PD Kim said with a smug smile.

“I’m too busy for one.”

“Oh?”

“And I don’t like the whole romance thing,” Sun Young added, “It’s weird and impractical and burdensome.”

“What should it be then?”

She paused. “I don’t know,” she replied, feeling slightly at a loss, “I’ve always thought about what it shouldn’t be, rather than what it should.”

“Tell me what you’d like to see in a relationship then,” PD Kim said, leaning forwards in interest, “If you’re not into the lovey-dovey part of it, what would you want your partner to do?”

There was something earnest in the producer’s face as she asked that, like she was genuinely interested in what she had to say, and Sun Young began to relax as she realized that PD Kim’s usually loud and grouchy persona was not the one she was currently interacting with at the moment. She seemed almost…sisterly, although no one would beat Yoora to that position.

But sisterly nonetheless.

Maybe she’s not so bad. She looks like she’s talking with a friend.

“Well…” she began timidly, “I prefer the relationship to be something friendly. Something that’s relaxed and comfortable, and not awkward. I like just having tea outdoors and joking about random things. I take