Dandelions are the most emotional flowers in the world. I can feel how they feel. I can feel how happy they are or how much sadness they are feeling today. Unlike me though, they have no expressions to convey.




“Hey Kyu”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Can you feel how they’re feeling right now?”

 

“They? Who?”

 

“These dandelions”, I replied whilst blowing a dandelion and watching the pollens getting carried away by the wind. I smiled after seeing that scene.

 

You just chuckled and shook your head. “Why could I hyung? They’re not even human”

 

“Thought so”, I mumbled. Silly you. Don’t you know that everything tells you something?

 

Dandelions are usually found in high places. I don’t know why they’re found in these areas but I definitely like the view up there. Definitely, without asking myself why I liked it in the first place.

“Hyung, you’re up here again?”, someone from behind asked me.

 

I looked around and saw you. I smiled and jokingly accused, “Yah. You’re here too”.

 

“I just. Uhm. Followed you”, you told me, looking away.

 

I chuckled. “Silly. Come sit with me”. You did as I told, cross-sitting beside me.

 

“Hyung”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Why are you always here?”

 

I turned my head to face you, bewildered at your question. “I love the dandelions up here. Maybe that’s why I like it here too”, I shrugged.

 

You laughed lightly and ruffled my hair. “That’s what I like about you hyung. So, oblivious”

 

Stupid you. You made me blush at that time.

Dandelions cluster in groups, swinging back and forth in time with the wind’s pace. I like them being like that. I remember my own friends, the friends whom I share my secrets and happy moments with. Well, that’s why I wanted every joyful experience I have in life to happen there, there on the dandelion hill I always visited.

“Saengil chukhahamnida Sungmin-hyung”, you cheerfully greeted me in the middle of the night with a cake in your hands.

 

“Kyu. Did you wake me up and bring me here just for this? My birthday’s not until tomorrow”, I whined. You must’ve been held aback by my words for  you slightly pouted.

 

“Hyung. Don’t you like it? I especially made it for you. Uhm well, I especially requested Ryeowook-hyung to make this for you”

 

I chuckled. “Of course I like it. I just don’t like the fact that someone disrupts my sleep, especially after New Year’s”, I yawned.

 

“I thought you like surprises?”

 

“I do. But isn’t this a bit early?”

 

You held up your watch for me to see. It read 3 minutes past midnight. It really is my birthday.

 

“See hyung, it’s already January 1st”, you pointed out after seeing my dumbfounded expression.

 

“Should I blow the candle already and make a wish?”

 

“Yeah. What’s the candle for?”, you sarcastically replied. I pouted and smacked you lightly on the shoulder, making you wince, before actually blowing the candle.

 

“Cool. Now for your gift. But before that, close your eyes”, you told me, putting the cake down.

 

“Oh! You have a gift for me? Can’t wait”, I squealed, closing my eyes.

 

Soon, I found my eyes fluttering open in disbelief as I felt your lips pressed into mine. You tasted like chocolate you know and maybe that was the reason why I responded to the kiss after awhile. You laid me down gently on the bed of dandelions as you kissed me passionately. You were good, I admit, but you had to break the kiss as you sought for air, leaving me disappointed.

 

“Hyung. Would you be my boyfriend?”, you breathlessly asked. I pecked you on the lips.

 

“Take that as a yes”

 

You smirked. “So. As a boyfriend, can I ask you what your wish was?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I’m worried that you wished for me to leave you”

 

“Shut up and don’t say that”, I scowled and you just laughed.

 

How crazy. I could never wish for that. Never.

Dandelions are the most solemn flowers I know in the world. I can feel how sober they are, how much pain they are trying to bear. I always feel that as I sadly watch the pollens slowly leave their stalk. I bet the pollens are feeling lonely by now, wherever they may be. I feel for them. That’s why I never tried pouring out all my mellow feelings in there, just not to let them feel burdened furthermore. But sadly, unfortunate events cannot be avoided. Never can be avoided.




I was sick of pneumonia for almost 2 weeks and was required to stay inside the hospital. I missed the dates we already planned beforehand and most especially, I missed my days of playing with my favourite dandelions. Nonetheless, I missed you too much.

 

I heard my phone ringing in the middle of the night. Apparently, you were calling me and I was just so excited to hear your voice again that I immediately answered the phone.

 

“Kyu!”

 

You laughed at hearing my voice. “Stop squealing Min. You hurt my ears”

 

“Sorry. So why did you call?”

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to visit you lately. It’s just that–”

 

“You have a lot of schoolwork to do”, I plainly answered. You sighed.

 

“Min. I’m sorry okay? That’s why I’m calling you –”

 

“To ask for forgiveness and give me something in return. Is that it?”

 

“Uhh. Yeah”, you hesitantly replied. I chuckled.

 

“Kyu. You’re always forgiven because I love you”

 

“Aww. Thanks Min. You know I love you too”

 

“I love you more”. You chuckled.

 

“Haha. Min, about the something-in-return thing. Did the doctor tell you to avoid flowers?”

 

“Umm. No. He hasn’t told me that it’s one of the restricted”

 

“Well that’s nice because tomorrow I’m getting you a dandelion”

 

“Oh Kyu!”, I squealed.

 

“Love you too Min baby”. He chuckled.

So when you got sick, I sat there, on the hill where we usually see each other. Remember when I couldn't see you because school interfered? I missed you in all those times and I would sulk on THAT hill. The more I sulked, the lonelier I got. I always think of you and your smiles. It would eventually make me feel better.




I wish you’re not feeling a little lonely now. I gave you a dandelion, see. Get well soon babe.




I’ll be waiting.




Love,

Kyu<3




Tears dripped down my cheeks as I read the last sentence over and over again. Yesung just watched me from the door, with a sobbing Ryeowook in his arms. I can’t believe you did this to me Kyu. Why did you have to leave this world ahead of me?

 

I slowly crumpled the letter you gave me and held the dandelion close to my chest, letting my tears fall down my face continuously. I looked at Yesung with pleading eyes, asking him to tell me everything. He had refused before. This time, he should just tell me the whole truth to ease the pain.

 

"Sungmin...", Yesung breathed and told me the whole story.

 

(Flashback)

 

Kyu was looking down, crawling on the grass beneath him. He was looking for the best and cutest dandelion there is, Yesung hinted. He and Ryeowook were happily chasing around since he pleaded to tag them along. Kyuhyun, as the magnae, left them with no choice. Kyu squealed moments later, making Ryeowook rush to his side. Yesung, on the other hand, sighed and knelt down beside them. He looked at Kyuhyun and found out that the boy had twinkling eyes, possibly because he found a very rare dandelion. A pink one to be exact.

 

Kyu stood up and trudged towards the tree telling them to sit by him. Ryeowook asked him why and told them, "You make songs right? Teach me love words for me to write a letter to Min-hyung. Please?". I immediately got the idea and obliged.

 

It took us an hour to finish it and he started to wave us goodbye as he was finally ending the letter. But as we turned around, we found Kyu jumping up and down, trying to get the dandelion that flew from his notebook. We laughed at him and told him to just look for another one. He shook his head and continued jumping.

 

"Gotcha!", he finally shouted. But as his feet landed on the ground, he wobbled and rolled down the hill. Both his friends' eyes went wide with shock and Yesung darted towards the side of the hill, only to see a Kyuhyun with a bloody head and bruised arms, his hands firmly clutching to the dandelion he caught. Ryeowook screamed and fidgeted with his phone, trying to call an ambulance. Yesung shook the youngest with all his might, slapping him in the face. By the time the ambulance came, Kyuhyun was dead.

 

(End of Flashback)

 

I buried my face in my palms as I sobbed harder. "I hate you Kyu! You're so unfair!", I muffled a scream. Ryeowook hugged me tightly from the back, patting my head as I broke down. Yesung bit back moans of grief as he was seeing me in a rather unhappy mode.

 

If I only knew that would happen, I would've never let you get a dandelion for me. If I only knew that you'll leave me this early, I would've urged myself to drink the medicines on a daily basis. If you just knew you that you're time would be up, you should've visited me here, in the hospital.

 

"Why is life so unfair?", I madly asked.

 

Ryeowook sighed and hugged me harder. "Hyung, remember what Kyu said. Unfortunate events cannot be avoided", he reminded me.

 

I sniffed and nodded, looking back at the wet paper I was holding. I began to read the last 2 paragraphs, again and again. I bowed and held the dandelion close to my beating heart.

 

"I will be happy Kyu. I'm not lonely. This dandelion is you. I will always remember you. Wait for me Kyu. I love you", I whispered and kissed the dandelion before finally mustering a smile.