She believed in love, maybe too much. She put too much faith in him. But not in herself.
It was something so sacred.
“When I was falling for you, I was falling from grace, ya know,” said Krystal Jung as she was playing with the hair on Kim Jongin’s head that was now peacefully resting on her shoulders.

Her love for him was so hard to replace. But she had to, she had to learn to trust and rely on herself more than anyone.
He was so perfect, he also brought onto her so many sins. She was in too deep. They both were.
They would have done anything everything for each other. But with their careers on the line everyday as idols and their rushed lives, it was too risky. It was too risky to fall that deep in love.
“And if you ask me I would do it again,” Krystal continued. Even though they were broken up, they weren't on bad terms with each other or anything. But due to their busy schedules, they did not see each other that often. They started out as friends so that meant that they could always end as friends.
No need to imagine that if they weren't broken up, they would still be in this same situation. Kai’s father had just passed away. And he needed someone, not his family (at least not now, he could not burden them yet), and not s, but her. The first person that came to his mind when he received the news.
And now he knew that it was true, he missed her. He needed her. She had always been there for him, even before they were going out, even when they were still just good friends.
“They say all good people go to heaven, he's up there right? He's resting. After all he has gone through, he deserves peace." Kai softly mumbled into Krystal’s shoulders.
“Don’t worry, with such a son like you, he was in good hands. You made him really proud.”
It was automatic. How comforting her words made him feel. And he could not help but to close his eyes and sniff in that perfume of hers, the one that she always wears. The one that he got her.
She was just sitting there, on the couch, with his head on her lap. It's just what they did. They would always be in each other’s embrace, back when there weren’t labels on anything.
But she didn't realize how much she was in love with him. It wasn't until they called it quits that she saw how much of a role he played in her daily life, from morning and night calls to timely check-ins. And she really missed him, but of course life had to go on. They were both busy with their schedules so she didn't have a chance to take a moment and see how he felt. If Kim Jongin was still in love with Jung Soojung or not.

And when she looked into his eyes right now, she was not prepared. She didn't recognize this foreign feeling. And she was taken aback, with how much he had seemed to have changed. She knew that naturally over time everything changes but this, this was different.

“Why, just why does all bad things seem to be coming constantly. But no need to imagine, now, if we broke up, because I now know how that felt...” he muttered the last part silently. Krystal was still playing around with his hair, taking every second to observe his face, how his lips pursed up, and his nose taking in every breathe, mouth releasing. And his eyes closed, in such a relaxing state.

She wanted to convince herself that she had made the right decision, that he wasn’t the one.

That they wouldn’t have worked out.
“I had no idea what we would become,” Kai continued.

“What do you mean by that?” she questioned in her careless state.

“If I had known that we would’ve ended like this, I wouldn’t have asked you out in the first place,” he stated hesitantly. “You know, not sacrifice out friendship. Don’t get me wrong, but we both know it isn’t what it used to be.”

And all Krystal could do was to remain silent and give him the comfort that he needed.

Soojung smiled back at this memory, it was all the way back in May 2018. And now here they are, already reaching the beginning of 2019.

(★BREAKING) Dispatch Reveals EXO’s Kai and BLACKPINK’s Jennie Are Dating

[BREAKING] EXO's Kai and Black Pink's Jennie reportedly spotted on a date back in November

SM Entertainment confirms EXO's Kai is dating Black Pink's Jennie

YG Entertainment Responds To Jennie and Kai’s Dating News

Now she doesn’t know what to feel. She wasn’t hurt, or sad, just surprised and in shock. Like to her, it seemed like such a random couple, a random pairing. She knew that the yearly Dispatch New Years couple would be coming anytime soon, she just didn’t know that it would be Kai.

And that SM would confirm it.

Being halfway across the country both has its good and bad at this moment. The plan was that she, Jessica, and Tyler could spend the day together, at peace. Now Krystal had left the couple alone for a few hours, for both them to get some couple’s time and her to have some alone time. This year was wild, traveling all over the world, whether for work or for fun. It was pretty chill non-regardless due to practically no idol activity, since f(x) are pursuing their own ways for now. Shooting the drama ‘Player’ really gave her a mind cleanse though, finally a drama where there was no romance involved, hence why she wanted to act in it. Since all of her on screen kisses, that she’d had with everyone so far, none could top his. Not only that but truth be told, kissing Gong Myung was weird as heck, since if she ever sees Doyoung around, it’ll be like ‘Hey, I kissed your brother, multiple times!’ She chuckled at that thought.

But focusing on herself too much has been getting lonely. Heck, she sometimes questioned why she said what she said and why she did what she did. ‘I always do my best in any relationship, with dating too. If we break up, it’s really a break up. I don’t wish to see them again’ But that was the raw truth.

Maybe too raw, for that day when it aired, Jongin’s number showed up on her phone. He only called once, and she just let it rang.

She didn’t regret it though. It was what she needed, what she still needed; space.

She was just sitting there on her comfy couch and staring off, blanking out. She was not expecting a call at this time, especially from this certain Exo member.

Him: Hey there...

Her: You want to know if I’m fine or not, don’t you?

She could hear him letting out a brief sigh on the other end of the line.

Him: If you mean as the caring person that I am, calling up to wish you a Happy New Years but since the news broke out, checking up on you as well, then yes.

Her: Pfft! Happy New Years to you too. And thanks I guess.

Him: So... what are you thinking?

Her: I don’t know, you know? Like I don’t feel anything, and yet I feel a mix of everything. Like I’ve never regretted any of my actions. You know that. I’m just wondering all of these what-ifs, like what if we had never gone out in the first place, if our friendship never changed for the worse, if our paths were different...

Him: Wow, Jung Soojung actually letting me into her pretty little brain for once...

Her: Stop it, oppa!

Him: And calling me ‘oppa!’ finally, that’s also a first. What a New Years miracle I guess!

Her: Tchhh, don’t take this for granted.

Him: Noted my princess. Well I gotta go now, duty calls! And also, since I’m more than 3 years older than you, can you use my actual name in front of ‘oppa’ please, thanks, I appreciate it!

And with that he hung up.

‘Yixing oppa’ Krystal smirks. Since both of them starred together in the yet-released film Unexpected Love, they got closer to one another. Of course they already knew each other beforehand, but that created a more casual and protective bond between both of them. Oh how she wished the THAAD issue could just be ignored, so that Lay can go back to Exo, go back to being near her. And, more importantly, their film could be released. She so wishes to be able to watch it again, for it had been a while since the filming of it.

But what she had been saying to Lay beforehand was true, wondering all of those what-ifs, thinking in the past. While she knows it herself that she needs to focus on the future.

But she couldn’t help to wonder, what if it was the right person, but at the wrong time.

She still can recall perfectly the moment they met. She still can recall perfectly all of their firsts. All of their ups and downs when they were together, as a couple. She still remembers how this year she never received a call from Kai to wish her a happy birthday.

She still follows him. Going on his Instagram from time to time, keeping up with all of their schedules, all of the hype that ‘Love Shot’ got. But it’s funny, how to her, a breakup means the end.

It’s always been like that in her mind.

But maybe not in her heart.

I started this story back in May, and haven't touched it since. It was originally going to be called Heaven, since it started off being based off of the song lyrics from Julia Michael's song Heaven. But I was stuck and didn't know where to go next. And I still haven't gotten back into the Kpop fandom, but have been tapping back into it a little for the past day or two. But with the news that just broke out, I was able to take some inspiration from it. I most likely will follow up with another story, part II maybe and it most likely will be called Without Me, based on the Halsey song since I've always had that idea for Kaistal, and was even debating about titling this story that. And I was really skeptical on how I wanted to end the story also.

But right now, I'm tired and can't really focus straight so note that I most likely did not proof read this very well and that in the next story I'll most likely include some of my own opinions on the dating news. Hope all of you guys have a Happy New Years and I promise to return to you soon!