iv. "The Realization"  

“Notice everything around you, not just what you are accustom to seeing,” 

“Why do I feel like that’s the first time you laughed in a while,” she spoke, her voice was soft and smooth, but her eyes were sharp. She was taking in every detail there was to absorb of him. Jungkook felt his entire mood shift, as if he had a sudden realization about reality and the smile faded and so did the amusement.

“Because it was,” he mumbled, his eyes dropping down as he was finding himself too transparent that it felt shameful. She shouldn’t be able to read him, she shouldn’t be able to pick these things about him as if he as a mere novel she read on her free time.

He wondered how many others saw what she saw. He wondered what exactly she saw. A miserable guy who has his clothes tailored and his cars imported. A guy who sits in a high-level floor looking over the city as his empire continues to grow like bacteria on a hot day.

“Do you still regret coming here? Do you still think I’m a e?” She asked, noticing he was thinking again. Pondering hard on what the reality around him was. He was defensive and on guard, he was very impulsive about everything.

It felt like she was waking in a land mine, and everywhere she could place her foot he would blow up in anger. His mood had already shifted and he placed armor around himself as if she would attack him, his smile was long gone and she questioned if he’ll ever see it again.

“Surprisingly no, and if I knew more about you, then I could make a better guess,” he muttered, trying to hold back slightly.

The reality was that coming here was a mistake, but it wasn’t one he regretted with all his might. It wasn’t a mistake that could keep him up at night as he was sweating cold and his conscious killing him. It was a mistake, but one he could deal with. But regardless if she could make him smile or cry, he knew nothing about her. He still felt like if a fat check was placed in front of her, that ruffle washed out navy blue dress will drop to the floor.

“You’re lying, you still think I’ll give up my body for a check,” she muttered, not letting her anger take over. She was still on a land mine, and if her thoughts about him were correct, one of the bombs buried on the ground could trigger the biggest explosion.

“I hardly know you, you can’t blame me,” he spoke, his voice slightly rushed and defensive. He looked at her with curved brows and squinting eyes. The wine suddenly became less appetizing as he pushed the glass away from him and felt the room turn cold.

“You’re right, I can’t. But you can’t just assume things about me on our first meeting,” she spoke, her voice soft and smooth. She leaned back, her arms crossing against her chest as her dark eyes widen at him.

“You are doing that with me,” he snapped, his voice raising as he was insulted at her hypocritical comment. From the moment he had sat down, that’s all she’s been doing. Assuming.

He told her nothing about him, she assumed all of his aspects and when he only had silence to return, she knew she was right. It was outrageous that she had the temerity to be telling him not to assume her nature and morality when she’s been assuming everything about him.

“That’s where you are wrong. I am not assuming, I am reading your body language, your words, your appearance. Tell me, have you been reading me?” Her body was still, she didn’t move, as her voice drowned in disbelief. She leaned forward slightly, her head cocked slightly as she was waiting for the unspoken answer.

Jungkook looked away, his jaw clenching as his desire to leave had now submerged. He hated her attitude of always needing to be right, of ridiculing him to prove her point. He was the heir of J.S. Corporation and he will not stand for being made a fool.  

She noticed this, having stepped in another tile that triggered the explosion of anger. He was pissed, his pride being hurt the most as she felt her entire heart ache. He was seriously a jumble of emotions that was easily triggered by the slightest of things.

“You know why you don’t bother reading me to the depth that I read you?” She asked, her voice softened as it rose in pitch. He felt his entire attention being hit as she sounded just like Yein that morning in his office. Innocent and caring, and as he looked at her, she smiled so delicately that he feared that smile would shatter when she would start speaking.

“I don’t care,” he muttered, not realizing that he had responded. She her peach shaded lips as the delicate smile shattered and she simply looked at him with sincerity.

“You don’t, but I will say it. My job is to help you understand. You still only see things in black and white. If it isn’t part of your world and if it isn’t sadness or misery, it is black. A blob of black ink where you don’t see the details. You don’t care to clean it up or make it visible or colorful,” she spoke, her tone still soft but she spoke so wise as if she knew exactly what she was saying. As if she was some teacher trying to explain his own mind to him.

“What are you saying?” He asked, his eyes moving back and forth trying to figure out what she even meant. It made no sense, he hated his world, he hated all the misery and sadness that his world brought him. Why would he deliberately only pay attention to it as if he wanted to? He wished he could ignore it.

She bit her lip, her eyes growing as she cocked her head to the side for a second before she looked directly into his eyes. Her eyes looked completely black for a second and so did her hair, but as he paid attention to her movement’s, the light of the room highlighted the dark brown in her features.

“I am saying, you should start noticing things on both spectrums of positive feelings and negative feelings, as well as things outside your world. Understand everything around you, read into people, into things. If someone smiles, read into why, if someone laughs, read into the source of that laughter. Notice everything around you, not just what you are accustom to seeing.” She had chosen her words carefully, making sure that he could understand and not take it as an attack.

It made sense to her, the fact that he is accustom to only seeing things through the eyes of an elite business man, meant he didn’t see things in another way. He only sees misery and anger and it only trained his brain to see that in everything. His mind had trained to see only misery and his lavish lifestyle.

“This is all crazy talk,” he spoke, feeling his body rise from the table before engaging in another conversation. This was a mistake, and now that it is done, there is no reason to stay around to have her throw ideas at him as if she had all the answers.

The reality was that she didn’t. She was a simple university student with a tuition to pay. She didn’t have any answers, but simply a hunger for money.

“Call it what you want Mr. Jeon. This spot will always be opened for you. Same day of the week, same time, all you must do is book me. I wish for you to come back, you are lonelier than you think, you should submerge yourself with good company. Drive home safely,” she spoke, standing up with ease as she bowed fully and walked out the door, leaving the man standing there with confused anger.

He stepped into the hallway, noticing that his host was walking to the end of the hall where a white door stood out amongst the rows of polished oak wood. The door had a poster of a blond girl with a similar dress as hers. It appeared that the theme for the night was Alice in Wonderland, and his hostess was dressed just like Alice. That ruffled dress was a mess for a reason, she was dressed as that character.

He retraced his steps, remembering where he came from and knowing very well where to go.

Everything stood out more coming out than going in. The marvel tiles that absorbed the warm light with their matte surface. The walls were simply a pale shade of red, as if a red bucket was laid out on the sun for a few days and its own bright color got dimmed.

Looking out of the one-way glass, he noticed that all of the host had something on their face that helped cover their countenance. Some had neatly drawn paint while others looked like they rubbed their fingers on charcoal dust and stained their faces. They were all keeping their identities hidden.

Tonight was a mistake. What did he get out of coming here? He didn’t even remember why he made the decision to come. It was all a blur in his mind, it was like he blocked it out. He wasn’t coming back, that much he knew. He didn’t need to come back to some stuck-up girl who knows nothing about him and just assumes she does. He doesn’t need her preaching nor advice, he’s survived this long on his own, he doesn’t need her.

“Sir, you still need to schedule that house hunt with your fiancé,” the boy spoke, his soft and thin voice echoing in the room as Jungkook looked up. His assistant sat there, tablet at his hand as he begun to go over his week schedule. Another dreadful day at hell and it didn’t help that it was just Wednesday.

It’s been a couple of days since the engagement party, almost a week since Yein told him about the house hunting. And he wanted to bury the task so deep under work and meetings, but leave it to Moonbin to be on top of things.

“When is my next opening?” He asked, his hands leaving the keyboard of his computer and pushed against his eyes. His aching eyes were unhealthily being jabbed by the heels of his palm as a few tears collected at the corners. He was exhausted, that was nothing new.

“Friday from one up to three, the new product’s presentation is at three-thirty,” the boy spoke, his hands moving as if he was writing on a piece of paper as Jungkook sighed. His hands running up to ruffle his hair in frustration as his neck pulsated in slight pain and his spine throbbed slightly.

“That should work, contact Yein-ah, ask her to have three houses ready and you are more than welcome to give me suggestions. The sooner we get this done, the sooner I get my so-called father off my back,” Jungkook mumbled, his words cold and stiff.

Moonbin nodded, his glasses pushing up the bridge of his nose as he made a note to contact his boss’ fiancé for the set up. He bit his lip, feeling uncomfortable every time he hears the young boss talk about the CEO with bad intension because only negative things can come out of it but, he tries to ignore it.

But Jungkook couldn’t help but question why Moonbin tensed. He has, without realization, done exactly what the host had suggested. Reading into people.

In the past few days, he came to realize more about people than he has in the past year. Moonbin has been his assistance for about a year, but only now does Jungkook realize Moonbin’s hesitant and nervous aura is due to an impulse to be precise about everything. Jungkook simply thought he was just a shy thingy who wanted no confrontation or trouble, but now he realizes that Moonbin calculates his every move which makes him look hesitant. He questions his every decision and that’s why he appears nervous, because he is scared the outcome will be out of his hands, out of his control.

“You’re finally making room to house hunt,” a boy spoke as he walked in without an invitation nor knocking to ask if he could enter. His presence was simply almost welcomed unannounced in the room, and it always helped Jungkook get over the dreadful Wednesday afternoon.

“I’ll get right on it Mr. Jeon, great seeing you sir,” Moonbin stood up from his chair, not waiting to be dismissed since he already knew the routine. Once his boss’ brother came in, it was a private conversation he didn’t need to listen to or be a part of.

The assistant simply bowed and made his way out as the other boy filled the seat Moonbin left behind. His hair was messily brushed as he simply sat down with a sad smile and twinkling eyes.

“Is that what it’s called? I thought it’s prison booking,” Jungkook mumbled, grabbing the stack of papers from his desk and brushed them aside as he simply put everything aside for his step-brother.

The older boy was simply smiling wider at the comment, his body slouched back as his legs crossed. He looked more normal than he dressed, but Jungkook could tell there was something up with him. It was as if he had planned something or he had done something. Jungkook was always familiar with that aura Jin radiated, but only as of lately has he noticed, it usually radiates when he has something brewing.

“Dad wants you to pick a house near him, so naturally I stepped in for you,” Jin mumbled, pulling out a wad of papers that were crumbled up into a ball of insignificance. Jin tossed the younger the ball of parchment and waited for the younger to unravel his present.

“You sneaky son of a ,” Jungkook shook his head, his whisper soft as he tried to not make the saying sound like an insult. But Jin simply pressed his lips into a thin smile and shrugged, not caring at all.

There was only one unoccupied house in the same neighborhood as his fathers, and Jungkook wanted to stay away from it as much as possible. So naturally, Jin pulled some strings with his mother and the house was sold to someone else.

“You’re more than welcome to look into my neighborhood, I need someone to keep my witch of a wife busy and she seems to like Yein-ssi,” Jin muttered, his hands folding on top of his lap as he gave a suggestion that never crossed Jungkook’s head.

The younger looked up, noticing the way Jin looked at him. He’s gotten too used to this reading thing, and he couldn’t help but read into Jin.

Jin’s father died of a heart attack, an unfortunate event for them since he was the only provider for their family. Jin simply went through school with scholarships as his mother took up his father’s position at a small company, the small company that Jungkook’s father started. But regardless on how Jin fit into his life, he always seemed to want something more. He really didn’t care that he has the same luxuries as Jungkook, he wanted what money couldn’t buy.

Jungkook didn’t realize this until now. Jin has always done things to make him happy. Jin has always took him in and cared for him as a true brother. Jin wanted Jungkook in his neighborhood, not because he needed to keep his wife out of his hair, but because he wanted to continue to be close with his step-brother. Jin simply wanted what he never had, a brother.

Jungkook didn’t know how to feel about that. He’s never thought that Jin could be so sentimental nor that he had such a deep desire that was created because he was an only child. Jungkook was too, yet he never found himself wishing for a brother nor a sister, he simply found himself wishing he could go out and play with the kids down the street, he simply wanted to go to a normal school.

‘…you are lonelier than you think, you should submerge yourself with good company.’

The sincere voice of the host came to his head, and suddenly, his day dream ended.

“Yeah, I’m sure Yein-ah would be into that,” he responded, a soft and shy smile lingering about. Jin begun to talk about his day, about how his wife tried the magic of cooking and couldn’t even turn on the stove.

His laughter and amusement filled the room. Jungkook took in everything that his step-brother said. Noticing how much happier he looked here, sitting in his office, than outside. The large room didn’t feel empty nor large, it fell small and warm as the sound of Jin’s voice filled it up to the brim.

Jungkook bit his lip, feeling like the host had won yet again. She has successfully read him, she had successfully labeled him as lonely and as someone who needs to be submerged in company. As he was graced with the company of Jin, he realized that the reason why could even get through this company is because he knows Jin will always be there.

The host was right, about everything. She won, but Jungkook’s nature to win the war after a battle was lost took over. He had to see her again, she wasn’t going to play him as a fool next time, she will not be able to read him next time. He was the heir of J.S. Corporation, and he will not stand to have lost to some hostess.