xv. " The Pyramid"

“You have to be at the top of the pyramid, looking down on everyone and stepping on everyone...”

“I was trying to get away,” he said, taking in a deep breath that was meet with slight pain, his ribs were still injured, that wasn’t something that healed in the course of three days.

“From what?” She asked, her voice soft as she did not mind her questions being meet with silence.

This was a very delicate situation, a situation that needed to be taken apart as if it was a bomb. And she felt like it was. There were many things going through her head, and it all simply terrified her even more. She didn’t know how dangerous he could be, how harmful he was to himself and finding out, was going to be the hardest.

She patiently waited for him to be ready to speak, because that is all she could do. She cannot push the subject, she can’t force it, she can only let everything unravel. He will speak when he feels comfortable speaking, and she must wait for him to be comfortable.

“From that heartless man,” he spoke, his words spoken in spite and nearly spitting out the word man as the thought simply made him angry just thinking about it.

“A man?” She asked, the question only serving as a point of confusion for him.

His brow knit with confusion, as he just realized he had in fact said man. He was not running away from a man, he was simply running. He was running because he kept being reminded of that man, but what triggered that memory? He pondered on it for a while, until everything began to rush in more clearly.

“No, I was running away from a memory. It all came back to me when I saw a heartless-walking bank,” he spoke, his mind going over what he saw, remembering the scene that was equally hard to listen to and look away from.

Jungkook simply sat there, his body leaning against the pillow behind him as his hand rested gently on his chest. He had a bandage around his chest due to his rib injuries. He took in a deep breath, wincing when the pain was inevitable to hold in, as he tried to recollect what had happened.

He mostly remembered flashes of scenery and faint whispers of conversations. He can’t remember how he ended up at Han River, let alone how he started running down that bridge, he just knew it happened.

But then he remembered what that girl had said exactly, and how emotionless and heartless she looked saying it. He knew the girl triggered something in him, he just couldn’t recollect what it was and suddenly, it all came back. It was because she was a normal girl who was a walking bank.

“I thought I would only see walking banks in my world, but they are everywhere,” he spoke, his eyes lingering off towards the window again.

He always believed that the world out there was selfish, and it was. Everyone only cared for themselves, but at the end of the day, that is how it has to be. Only the strongest survive in the jungle, and the jungle and society weren’t too far off from each other.

People are being slaughtered all over the world as blood is shed on the soil every day. Yet, when morning comes, everyone simply has breakfast and goes on with their lives, except those who can’t even afford food nor a roof over their head.

Yet, that doesn’t stop the world from rotating. It is madness, you either kill or get killed out in the jungle, and it is no different in society.

You have to be at the top of the pyramid, looking down on everyone and stepping on everyone with money filled pockets and an empty heart. Otherwise, you will be the one being stepped on.

Jungkook always believed his world was always the most selfish. His world of materialism and feign kindness. A world full of banks who wear plastic masks carved with a smile, to hide their hideous personalities and horrible judgements. His world was appearance, who had the most luxurious watch and coat, and he thought that walking banks were everyone in his social floor in this social pyramid.

But he failed to realize that those at the bottom of this structure, were also trying to climb up. And he didn’t know those people were worse than the people he sees at every company party and social gathering of the elite. No, people at the bottom floors have proven they can be worse because they will throw away anything and anyone to get to the top.

“Everyone in society stops and stares in awe, looking up the social structure, wanting to be on top that they will do anything to get one step closer up the pyramid, they are all waking banks,” Jungkook spoke, his voice lingering off into silence as he was still deep in thought.

The man he was running away from, the man that that hollow girl reminded him of, was his father. And if he could go back in time to his father’s youth, to when that man begun to climb up the social latter, he would kick the man off as fast as he could. He would kick him off the latter, and never allow him to keep climbing to a higher level.

“My father’s climb up the social pyramid was memorable, a Busan man making it in Seoul with his own two hands. Everyone envied his genius, his luck and his mind. If only everyone saw what those hands threw out to keep climbing,” he continued his in-depth train of thought that had him consumed.

He wasn’t sure what was set off this sudden urge to say all of this and think about it all in this much depth. But the moment he started, he realized it was addicting, and he could not stop. Simply because the anger in him has been concealed for so long, and it was all being laid out on the table. It felt good letting out all of the anger and frustration, it felt good just putting his complex feelings into words for once.

“What is karma?” He asked, not knowing if karma was the right word to use for the point he was going to try and make next.

He looked at her abruptly as she jolted back slightly. She simply widen her eyes, taken off guard as she was deep into his words, analyzing every bit and not expecting him to ask her a direct question. She looked at him and, without any further hesitations, she responded.

“What goes around comes around. Negative things done will result in negative results and vice versa,” she spoke, adding in her own type of definition that was meet with a smile formed by satisfaction.

Karma had a religious definition dealing with reincarnation, but people feel like it takes affect in the respected life time. Jungkook was satisfied she gave a more general definition rather than a religious one, he was not a religious person to begin with.

He was a man of facts. In the laws of physics, there is a law of motion that says an action has an equal and opposite reaction. His father did many things to make sure he was on top, that his pockets will be full of money and his name full of fame, and his actions had an equal and opposite reaction.

As his pockets were filling up with money and fame, his heart was drained of any selfless, humane and caring personality any regular person can hold.

“My father did many bad things to be where he is. He sold many things, including my childhood, my freedom, my life essentially. When you throw away a life like that, the world will take one of yours,” he spoke, his hands shaken slightly as his body shuttered.

He didn’t want to think about it, he wasn’t even sure he could get the words out if he does think about it. But that was essentially what got him to jump off the bridge, the memory of the life that the world took from his father.

“The girl, threw away a wonderful guy who put his life at halt to take care of his sick mother, and she threw him away. Why? Because he will benefit her in any way on her journey to the top,” Jungkook spoke, his voice shaken a bit as he was trying hard to suppress the memory.

It was hard to get the words out, simply because he hated being reminded of the death his father caused. He felt his heart begin to pulsate faster, and it was something the heart monitor was showing, his heart accelerating.

He felt like he could explode, but one look at her face, and his mind just stopped. She wore no makeup, it almost looked like she was going home and then decided to come here, which would explain why she looked dressed up and get, like she was going to sleep.  

She looked at his countenance and simply nodded, trying to assure him that she understood it was hard for him, and he didn’t have to push it. It felt like she was building a puzzle though, and he was giving her pieces, each much more different than the last, as she needed to complete the picture. And the more she thought about it, the more it all made sense.

Jungkook’s father forgot who he was when he was first building his company and tasting success. Jungkook was right, many people will toss anything and anyone that will prevent them from being rich and successful, and it seems like Jungkook’s father, sold his own son’s life.

It made a lot of sense. Jungkook had no childhood, hardly any kid born into a high-profile life like he has, especially being an only son and heir to a large company, had no childhood. And his father would do anything to ensure that Jungkook will only bring more money and respect to the Jeon name, how?

His hand was sold to another family heir, that is why he got so defensive when she called his fiancé, his wife. Putting it all together, if her interpretation was correct, and following onto what he said, the person taken from his father was Jungkook’s mother.

She is aware that Jungkook has a step-mother, simply because he mentioned his step-brother before. It is safe to say his biological mother passed away, how she passed away and how it affected Jungkook’s life was not something she could make a clear assumption on at the moment.  

But it is clear the mere memory of it all triggered an episode for him. Because that girl he talked about threw away a lover and it set something inside of Jungkook off, therefore, his father must have thrown away a lover too, a lover Jungkook was attached to. Who else but his mother?

“Do you identify as a walking bank Mr. Jeon?” She asked, wanting the conversation to move along in the direction she wanted.

He seemed cooperative today, way more than usual, it must be because of the trauma he went through. Or, he was serious when he said he wanted her to help. She is aware that Junhong told him she will reveal herself when she finds a solution to his problem, and that might be the driving force of his cooperation. But she was willing to roll with it.

“I don’t know who I am, some days I feel like I am a walking bank. I can just remember how I talk to people and I want to punch myself to letting myself talk like that,” he spoke, his voice full of frustration as he simply remembered all those times.

All of the times he has ever used his power to get something or to talk down to someone. He has used his status to show his superiority and, at the time they happen, he isn’t thinking much of what he is doing, only that he has power and needs to use it. But when he looks back at it, he is ashamed that he is turning into what he dreads for the most.

“You ran away from a memory, but what got you to decide to jump into the river? Were you not aware that it could have killed you?” She asked, feeling the harder questions begin to pool out of her lips with discomfort.

Jungkook looked down at his hands, wondering how she would react when he said yes. She sounded a bit disappointed and he hated how her voice sounded in that tone, the tone of disappointment.

He was well aware, in fact, that jump could have killed him. But, that was one of the reasons he jumped where he jumped. He remembered thinking that if he survived, he could swim to the park. But he didn’t acknowledge that he had come to terms with death.

“I have been in chains my whole life, I just wanted to take flight,” he spoke, his voice shaking and a little broken as he didn’t know how to explain it.

When you can’t even think for yourself, the action of jumping into a cliff and feeling free and feeling like nothing can hold you down, is worth more than life. He felt so trapped, he didn’t recall much of what he was thinking only that he needed to feel free.

“I remember thinking if I survive, I didn’t acknowledge at that instant that death was an outcome, but only that chance of survival. I felt like I needed to jump and feel free otherwise I was going to lose my head,” he spoke, his words spoken in a rather fast pace as he gripped the bed sheets tightly.

That, was a slight bit of hope. The idea that he was thinking about survival allowed her to take a deep breath before moving into the next question.

“How do you feel now then?” She asked, the words getting caught in , regardless of the deep breath she took for courage, before she continued.

Jungkook looked at her again, not getting tired of meeting her eyes, he was searching for them. She had an unchanging face but, her voice gave her away. She was worried of what his answer could be, it didn’t take a genius to see she was terrified that he would do it again.

“I feel relieved and I feel alive,” he spoke, his words reaching her ear in a very soft manner as she felt this weight lift off her stomach and her heart.

She couldn’t bare feeling like he would try that again simply because he was not satisfied with his experience. She was still terrified he would try it again but, that only worked as a thriving force to her. She needed to figure out the best way to help him before he attempted another jump.

“Can I ask you for something?” he asked, the question lingering in his mind for a while and now, was the time to ask it.

She simply nodded as she leaned forwards, her hands being stuffed in her hoodie as she took a deep breath and collected herself. She wondered what had gotten into his head that he’d start asking for favors.

“I know the Kingdom Club has a strict no touching policy, but can I ask for a hug,” he spoke, a childlike vulnerability showing through with his shy words.

He was showcasing a new persona today. This is something she would have never pictured him asking, let alone, asking it in that tone. It almost made it hard to say no, she knew she couldn’t. He was engaged, it was against club policy and, she could get fired and black-listed if she gets caught.

But the more she looked at him, and the longer their eye contact was locked, the harder it became to hear reason in her head. He was probably still traumatized from the pain and all the memories that were triggered that day, he was probably suffering inside more than he made himself believe.

She didn’t say anything, she didn’t have to, the simple act of standing up and walking over a step or two was enough to make him know what her answer was.

She reached for his neck, as she was aware his ribs were healing. And she made sure she hugged him in a very soft and caring manner. He remained frozen, it was as if he didn’t know what to do when hugging, and then it hit her, he was probably never shown any type of true affection.

So that caused her to hold him a little tighter and for a second longer.

When she was going to pull back, she felt his hands slowly wrap around her waist as he simply buried his face into her shoulder. He relaxed into it and felt everything go blank at the smell of her peppermint scent. His body soothed and his mind, which was aching with so many memories and thoughts, took a breath.

He was never hugged by anyone. Jin gives him a brotherly and very masculine type hug and he secretly longed for a true hug. He just didn’t know it until today.

He was happy he was able to wake up tonight, he was happy he was able to see that bastard Junhong who still has no regards to formalities. But above all, he was happy to have meet with Cinderella tonight, because he needed to hear that beautiful voice and simply tell her everything that has been suffocating him.

The jump could have killed him, but as she pulled away from his grasp and they locked eyes, he knew he needed to know her. He cannot die, not until he gets to see the visage behind the mask and have her selfless heart embrace him again.