Winter Pages

By IvyValen

 

Sometimes the chill of the morning was hard to move out of bed and face. When the winter cold rolls in, though  as feet kick eagerly at the sheets, Tiffany practically jumps out of bed.

 

Feeling the cold she runs to the shower. When she gets dressed, rushing to the door when she realizes the possibility of running late, flicking through the texts on her phone as she grabs her things.

 

‘You excited?’ she stops as she reads the message, shutting her door behind her as she runs down her apartment steps.

 

‘Excited for what?’ she replies, breathing in the winter chill, the slight hint of snow teeming on the street in the slightest layer, bringing a smile to her lips.

 

‘Something going around the rumor mill, people talking about how Hyo has an assignment for you.’ Tiffany reads the message from her friend Taeyeon, knowing how much she likes to gossip she pays it little mind, though the thought of an assignment specifically for her leaves Tiffany curious.

 

“Fany! Finally.” Taeyeon groans when Tiffany arrives at her office, sitting down in front of her.

 

“Tae, I’m on time.”

 

Taeyeon laughs, nodding. “For you that’s late.”

 

Tiffany smirks, placing a hand over feigning shock. “Are you calling me a workaholic?” When Taeyeon continues to smile, Tiffany leans back in her seat. “Well there’s no problem with being early.”

 

“Yes, just another day in the life of publishing. Books, books, books!” Taeyeon stands up, motioning Tiffany to follow her.

 

“I like books.”

 

“Ugh, working here and reading? What’s next, you’re gonna tell me my job is to make sure we sell those books,” Taeyeon stops in front of a set of doors, motioning ahead. “I was correct about the rumor mill though.”

 

“Oh?”

 

Taeyeon nods, walking off. “Hyo wants to see you.”

 

As Tiffany stands in front of the set of doors she takes a deep breath. Wondering what it is that her boss would need her personally for, before pushing the doors open as she steps inside.

 

Stepping inside the office, her eyes catch on the back of Hyoyeon’s chair, the woman turned out looking over the city below.

 

“Ms Kim, you asked for me?” Tiffany apprehensively steps forward, Hyoyeon turning slightly to send her a sidelong glance.

 

“You’ve worked here how long Tiffany?” she asks, turning fully to look straight at Tiffany.

 

“I uhm, two years now.”

 

Hyoyeon smiles, motioning to the seat in front of her for Tiffany. “So you should know by now that Ms Kim is my mother’s name, not mine.”

 

Tiffany wants to smack herself, her nerves getting the better of her. “Of course, Hyo.”

 

“Good, do you like our writers?” Hyoyeon asks, Tiffany looking on curiously.

 

“I like some of the works.”

 

When Hyoyeon stands up, Tiffany’s eyes follow her intently, Hyoyeon looking through her bookshelf. “Taeyeon speaks very highly of you. She says you know how to bring out the best in your little team.. Inspire them even.”

 

“I just try my best to..” Tiffany starts though Hyoyeon interrupts when she turns back at her.

 

“Don’t be modest, everyone speaks very highly of you.” Tiffany grins to herself, wiping it away immediately as Hyoyeon sits down in front of her, a book held in hand. “How do you like Busan?”

 

Tiffany stares at Hyoyeon not sure if she heard her correctly. “I went there for a weekend some time ago. The beach is nice.”

 

“Great, how do you feel about a little trip?”

 

“A trip?”

 

Hyoyeon nods eagerly, handing Tiffany the book she’d picked out. “She’s from Busan, but she hasn’t submitted anything for months. I’d like you to go and.. Inspire her.”

 

Tiffany looks at the book in her hands, a cover she doesn’t recognize, though a signature she can recall quite clearly.

 

“You want me to inspire her?”

 

“I’ve arranged accommodation for you in Busan. I expect you’ll be able to.. Give her a spark.”

 

*****************************

 

When she gets home that night, she spends her time learning just who Seohyun is and just how she might imagine to ‘inspire’ her how Hyoyeon hopes.

 

An impressive collection of novels to her name, Tiffany wonders what’s stopping the woman from writing more. Awards, recognitions and nothing but praise for her, Tiffany wonders just what kind of woman it is Hyoyeon is sending her to meet. Though as she sleeps on the thought that night, it leaves her all the more curious.

 

On the train to Busan, Tiffany acquaints herself with the book Hyoyeon had given her. Reading Seohyun’s writing leaves Tiffany all the more intimidated at the prospect. Seohyun’s writing capturing her with ease. The way every word lures her further in, only the announcement of her station coming over the speakers that take her away from the pages.

 

Looking over the city sights when she leaves the train station, Tiffany remembers the last time she’d come to Busan. A weekend with friends on the warm summer beaches. The feeling of those memories replaced by the biting cold winds brushing against her.

 

Though the winds blow colder than in Seoul, Tiffany smiles at the cold, pulling her suitcase along as she hails a cab to get to her hotel, gripping the book in her hand, wondering whether she’s more excited or nervous at the prospect. Or a mix of both.

 

Checking into her room, Tiffany crashes on the bed for a moment, letting the tension from the train ride leave her, before she stares out the window of her hotel room. A view of the beach now dusted in a light coat of snow.

 

“Alright Tiff.. let’s get to work.” she looks herself in the mirror once, taking a deep breath before she heads out the door.

 

*********************************

 

Seohyun stares at her blank white screen. The flashing black bar at the edge almost taunting he as she writes word after word and quickly deletes them, leaving the page blank again.

 

Her apartment stays quiet, save for the soft sound of steps against her floor, turning around to see her cat close to her desk, reaching out to paw at her leg.

 

“Not now, Toki.” Seohyun continues looking at the screen, though when she feels Toki jump onto her lap, she sighs in defeat, leaning back as her hands leave the keyboard. “You’re demanding.” Seohyun glares, though smiles a moment later when he purrs as she pets his head. “Alright Toki.” she reaches for him, placing him on the ground as she gets up, taking a deep breath and a stride around the apartment.

 

Wandering aimlessly. Hoping some bolt of inspiration kicks her clear of the blank page she’s stared at for months. Gripping her fingers through her hair frustrated.

 

When she looks into her fridge, pulling a beer out, looking down into the what she swears are judging eyes from Toki. “I’m a grown woman, I can have a drink if I like.” she reasons, Toki only staring as she walks past him, following her to the couch when she sits down and turns on the TV, hoping to numb her mind from the frustration.

 

“That’s better huh?” Seohyun takes a drink, settling in, though as the tension starts to leave her she hears the buzzer to her apartment ring. When she looks at her watch, she drops her head against the back of the sofa, sighing loudly as she realizes her plans of sitting down revelling in her drink was about to be interrupted by a publishing assistant assigned specifically to bother her.

 

“How do I look?” Seohyun looks down at Toki, the cat looking up at her curiously. “Aren’t you helpful.”

 

“Who is it?” she waits, the crackle of a response coming back.

 

“It’s Tiffany Hwang, I’m with your publisher…” Seohyun cuts off the sound, buzzing the woman up.

 

When Tiffany arrives at her door she takes a moment, checking herself over once before leaving a knock on the door. Slightly nervous as she waits, twitching slightly.

 

When the door opens, Tiffany shoots up straight, catching eyes with the woman in front of her, the one she’d seen on the back of books and her searches of her, though Seohyun looked much different than what she’d seen in the pictures. A messy tied up bun and a paint smeared V-neck.

 

“Seohyun? Hi I’m..”

 

“Tiffany Hwang, I know. You said.” Seohyun looks Tiffany over, walking off and leaving the door open, Tiffany reluctantly coming in.

 

“Right.. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Tiffany steps inside, holding her hand out towards Seohyun which she looks at like a rancid dish.

 

“Take it you’re here about me not sending anything in.” Seohyun takes her beer from the table, nodding towards Tiffany.

 

“I uhm, no I don’t drink while I’m working.”

 

Seohyun smirks, taking a long swig. “Of course not. I take it you wanna see what I’ve done these past couple months?”

 

“Have you written? That’s great! I’d love to look.” Tiffany beams, Seohyun crashing down on her sofa.

 

“No, you wouldn’t be here if I had.”

 

Tiffany stands silently, Seohyun paying her little mind before her eyes latch on to Toki walking over to Tiffany.

 

“Oh hi there. What’s your name?” Tiffany kneels down, reaching her hand out, the cat rolling it’s head into her palm, purring.

 

“Toki.” Seohyun stares, watching the two curiously.

 

Tiffany smiles wide, running her hand through his fur. “You’re so cute Toki.”

 

Watching the two, Seohyun finds herself surprised to see such a vibrant smile from Tiffany.

 

“So you’re supposed to beat the block for me?”

 

Tiffany stops playing with the cat, standing back up to look at Seohyun.

 

“I.. well the hope was I might ‘inspire you’”

 

“Quite a plan, but I’ve tried all the usual suspects.. And the unusual.” Seohyun looks over at Tiffany, smirking as the girl stands still. “So, what’d you have in mind to give me this inspiration?”

 

“You hungry?” Tiffany asks, Seohyun looking curious before nodding.

 

“Let’s go. I haven’t eaten since this morning.”

 

Seohyun stares at Tiffany silently, kicking herself up off the sofa. “You’re paying.”

 

“Does hurting my wallet inspire you?” Tiffany giggles, Seohyun giving her the slightest chuckle.

 

“No, but Hyoyeon’s, if she’s gonna send you she can at least treat me for it.”

 

*************************************

 

Tiffany’s impressions of Seohyun from the moment she knocked on the door to them sitting down as they eat has done nothing less than tear up her expectations of the writer.

 

The abrasive attitude from her, the messy look compared to the glamorous photos she’d seen of her. Seohyun hardly seemed to fit her expectations.

 

“Mmm I needed this.” Seohyun indulges in her food, Tiffany surprised to see a satisfied smile from the woman.

 

“Take it that’s good?”

 

“I like the food. You I’m.. not sure about.”

 

Tiffany understands Seohyun’s reluctance with her, though Tiffany notices her demeanor with those around them, even passing on the street how Seohyun shies away as much as she can.

 

“You don’t like people do you?” Tiffany asks, Seohyun shooting up to look at Tiffany.

 

“That’s.. Let’s stick to your job.” Seohyun pushes it aside, Tiffany seeing the nerves in Seohyun’s eyes, how the semblance of the ice breaking the two has only frozen over. Tiffany wishes she hadn’t asked.

 

Walking back to Seohyun’s apartment, they stay silent, since Tiffany had asked her the question at the restaurant the feeling between the two far from warm.

 

Seohyun huddling up under her coat from the cold winds, she keeps her head pointed down, though when Tiffany speaks up she’s surprised to hear the words.

 

“I always loved the snow. Winter is so pretty don’t you think?”

 

Seohyun sees Tiffany looking towards the beach as they walk. The strong winds rolling in from the ocean hitting against their side, though Tiffany only seems to enjoy the cold breeze.

 

“It’s cold.”

 

“It was never very cold in California. I never saw snow till I visited when I was young.”

 

“Is this your job?” Seohyun sighs, digging her hands into her pockets, eyes ahead. “You talk to me, tell a story and hope I write something?”

 

“My job? No, usually I like to stay in my office back in Seoul and do mountains of paperwork.”

 

“How dull.”

 

“You don’t seem to like pencil pushers.” Tiffany says, Seohyun smirking to see Tiffany so jovial about it.

 

“At least you seem to have a sense of humor.”

 

“I’m glad you think so.” Tiffany smiles and Seohyun almost swears her heart skips a beat when Tiffany does so, the way her eyes turn crescent.

 

“You’re right.” Seohyun admits, Tiffany stopping as they walk. “I don’t like people.”

 

Tiffany thinks for a moment, looking around, the street mostly clear except for the two of them. “You think this is ironic?”

 

Seohyun smiles, a change from the constant glare she’d been giving Tiffany, one that puts Tiffany at ease. “Maybe Hyoyeon knew sending you would make me write faster. Get my precious time back.” Seohyun laughs, Tiffany giggling with her.

 

“I should let you get back to your ‘writing’.”

 

“That quickly hmm?”

 

“You’ll need some rest. There’s a long day ahead tomorrow.”

 

“And here I was hoping you’d admit defeat.” Seohyun says it, though with the smile she sends Tiffany, the feeling between the two stays far less hostile than when they first met.

 

“I’m a little more persistent than that.”

 

“You’ll have to be.”

 

*****************************************

 

“So how’s Busan?” Taeyeon asks, Tiffany sitting in front of her laptop as she skypes with Taeyeon.

 

“It’s good, it’s very different with the snow.”

 

“And Seohyun? What’s she like?”

 

Tiffany leans back in her seat, thinking on the day as she looks out the window, the slight dusting of snow falling outside, dim lights of the city. “She’s different than I imagined.”

 

“So how’s Hyo’s plans of you getting her out of that block looking?”

 

Tiffany sighs, trying not to think of the magnitude of the task Hyoyeon gave her. “I don’t know the first thing about how I’m going to do this.”

 

“Hyo trusted you for a reason. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

 

“How vague, thanks.” Tiffany groans as Taeyeon laughs.

 

“You’ll be fine. Take her to Jangsan mountain. The view will be nice.”

 

“Tae, it’s the middle of winter, do you know how cold that will be?”

 

Taeyeon only laughs more, nodding. “I suggest you dress warm.”

 

************************************

 

Seohyun has never considered herself a morning person. Drowsy and even a strong cup of coffee didn’t do much to pull her senses out of the haze. Though the pawing of her cat never ceases to wake her up, feeding Toki before she drowns herself in a cup of enough caffeine to keep her wakeful.

 

Though as she sits down, opening her laptop to try her hand at the blank white screen again, she hears a knock at her door.

 

“Just when I was about to do my job.” Seohyun groans, though knows full well she’d spend another day staring at blank pages.

 

When she opens the door, she’s surprised to see Tiffany waiting, though a bag of something smelling like a hot breakfast and coffee in hand leaves Seohyun a little more welcoming to the morning intrusion.”

 

“You brought breakfast?”

 

“I did.” Tiffany smiles, brushing past Seohyun as she steps inside, shutting the door behind her.

 

“Yeah just let yourself in.” Seohyun whispers under her breath, though it doesn’t much bother her with Tiffany bringing breakfast.

 

Tiffany places the food on the counter, handing Seohyun her coffee. “I’m not sure what you like so I..” she stops when Seohyun takes a long drink of her coffee, eyes opening up from her drowsy state. “So you like it then?”

 

“A girls way to my heart is through coffee.” Seohyun takes another sip, though Seohyun’s remark leaves her puzzled. Left thinking on words more than she should. “So, what do you have in mind to inspire me for today?”

 

“Do you have hiking shoes?”

 

Seohyun stares at Tiffany like she’s crazy, taking one more sip. “I do.”

 

“Good, cause you’ll want to dress warm.”

 

***********************************

 

Getting Seohyun to agree to the idea had been a feat Tiffany could consider herself proud of. Protests of the cold, the walk and putting in effort for something Seohyun would hardly find useful.

 

Trudging up the path, surrounded by trees and the nature around them, Tiffany even after the protests is glad she’s brought Seohyun up the path, a comfortable silence between the two as they walk.

 

Though the cold is biting, working up the path makes them both warmer and as they finally reach the top they both sit at the top. A view of Busan and the forest below them, looking all the way out to the ocean. The light dusting of snow over the trees and even the biting winds calm as they both take in the view with a breath of wonder.

 

“It’s quiet up here.” Seohyun comments, how they hadn’t ran into another soul on the hike and as they sit at the top, nothing but the sound of the whistle on the wind.

 

“It’s nice.” Tiffany watches the trees sway in the wind, thankful for Taeyeon’s crazy suggestion of a hike in winter, though as she watches the view, Seohyun is thankful Tiffany is captured by it, as her eyes start to drift from the view and towards the woman. Tiffany’s black hair blowing slightly in the wind, her clear skin that Seohyun wonders how she feels, her supple lips she can only think of kissing or the eyes that seem to shine bright as a full moon in the darkest nights.

 

“It is.” Seohyun smiles. Maybe Hyoyeon sending Tiffany wasn’t the worst fate imaginable.

 

 

After their trip up the mountain, Seohyun starts to detest Tiffany’s presence much less, when so much as them going for coffee on certain days leaves Seohyun slightly lighter on her feet, almost looking forward to the knock on her door each morning.

 

 

 

“Why are we watching this garbage?” Tiffany asks as they sit on the sofa, watching a soap opera that both are hardly paying attention to except to laugh at the ridiculousness.

 

“It’s fun, don’t act like it isn’t.”

 

Tiffany giggles, nodding. “And to think I had a job to do.”

 

“Maybe I’m getting inspired by actors pretending with medicine and drama.”

 

“Well obviously my job is done, I can go home now.” Tiffany laughs, though Seohyun knows she isn’t serious, the thought leaves her heart oddly sunken, looking at Tiffany and wondering how long she’ll stay. Though the thoughts of leaving are left interrupted when hears a knock at her door. “Who’s that?” Tiffany asks, no buzz at the intercom before the knock comes.

 

“I uhm, hang on a sec.” Seohyun gets up, walking to the door, hoping beyond hope it’s a neighbor. Though when she stares out the peephole, she only groans. “.”

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

“No it’s fine.” Seohyun takes a deep breath. Opening the door as she exhales.

 

 

“Seo..hi.” she looks at the woman in front of her, the same familiar face she can still recall every last feature of.

 

“Sica.. Jessica, what do you want?”

 

“Just checking in, I haven’t seen you in awhile.”

 

Seohyun moves aside when the woman pushes against her, Tiffany standing up as Jessica steps inside.

 

“Jessica, you know why that is.”

 

Jessica seems unfazed as Seohyun steps after her, Jessica’s eyes caught on Tiffany. “You have company?” Jessica smiles as she looks back at Seohyun, a devilish glimmer in her eyes. “I’m Jessica.”

 

“Oh, uhm. Tiffany.” she stumbles, stepping towards Jessica.

 

“Seohyun always did have good taste.”

 

“Ahem,” Seohyun steps forward, pulling Jessica to look at her. “Jessica, what do you want?”

 

“I told you, I was checking in. Also.” she reaches into her pocket, pulling out a set of keys. “I thought you might want these back.”

 

Tiffany looks at the set of keys, the tension between Jessica and Seohyun as she starts to make the connection between the two.

 

“I’ll get out of your hair though. I see you have company.” Jessica smiles, turning on her heels and leaving them with a slight wave.

 

When the door closes, both stay in silence, Seohyun running her hands through her hair frustrated.

 

“I’m uh, sorry about that Jessica is.. Frustrating sometimes.”

 

“You two were uhm..” Tiffany thinks to stop before she asks, though Seohyun notices far too early for that.

 

“She’s my ex.” Seohyun nervously states, waiting for Tiffany’s reaction. “Is that.. Does that make you uncomfortable?”

 

Tiffany blinks rapidly as she looks at Seohyun, eyes shooting wide when she processes it all. “Uncomfortable? No! I.. it’s great I mean fine.. Good, I.. sorry.”

 

“You seem a little rattled?”

 

“I.. no, it’s fine.. Surprised.. A little.” Tiffany rubs at her neck nervously, Seohyun smiling at Tiffany flustered.

 

“I don’t look gay?”

 

“What?!” Tiffany shoots up, Seohyun laughing at the terror in Tiffany’s eyes.

 

Once Seohyun calms from teasing Tiffany, there’s a different feeling between the two. Comfortable, though an indescribable tension between the two. One that when Tiffany leaves that night, spurs on Seohyun. Turning her blank pages into something else entirely.

 

***********************************

 

When the days pass, Seohyun doesn’t tell Tiffany how she’s started to write, they continue their routine that seems now so normal, even if it’s developed from such a short stretch of time. Though as each day passes, something else starts to grow between the two, something that leaves them to tread on eggshells.

 

As they lay with a blanket covering their legs one night, as they watch a horror movie in silence except for Tiffany’s screams whenever something scary happens in the film, when she latches onto Seohyun tightly and hardly thinks about. Though Seohyun looks down at her, Tiffany so closely cradled in what Seohyun can only think Tiffany thinks little of, though Seohyun struggles with her feelings, the attraction she can barely think to ignore anymore.

 

How she’s glad that the lights are turned off, so Tiffany can’t see her face turn red, or her closeness that stops her from seeing Seohyun’s eyes that have long since stopped watching the film and look at Tiffany in captured wonder.

 

“Seohyun, how are you okay through this?” Tiffany whispers, looking up at Seohyun when the movie quiets down for a moment.

 

When Tiffany looks up at her, Seohyun struggles to not stare hard into Tiffany’s eyes, to not just look at her and stay staring.

 

“It’s not that scary.”

 

“You’re just weird if this isn’t scary.” Tiffany grins, though when Seohyun’s eyes stare into her, the conversation drops, leaving the two looking hard into each other. “Not that you’re weird I.. I didn’t mean..” Tiffany stops rambling in the only way Seohyun can think to have her stop. To lean close, brushing her hand against Tiffany’s cheek as they stay only inches apart.

 

With tentative passes Seohyun waits for Tiffany to move away, to jump back and call her freak, though they close and Seohyun presses their lips together in the softest touch.

 

When Seohyun realizes what she’s done, she jumps back, waiting for Tiffany to slap her, to yell at her or curse her out of her own apartment.

 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have.. I don’t know what I was..”

 

“Kiss me again.” Tiffany whispers, shyly looking away from Seohyun, though as she edges closer, she feels Seohyun’s hands brush her cheeks, looking into her eyes before she presses their lips together.

 

When Seohyun apprehensively pushes against Tiffany she shuts her eyes, taking in the feeling of her soft lips, when Tiffany pushes back against her, kisses turning soft to more confident. As Seohyun gently pushes Tiffany to lay on the floor, when Seohyun pushes against her both sighing in pleasure.

 

“Tiffany, you’re so beautiful.” Seohyun breaks their lock, looking into the eyes that shine so brightly, with her heart beating out of her chest taking Tiffany’s lips again.

 

Tiffany falls asleep with Seohyun holding her close.

 

***********************************

 

They don’t talk about the night between them. How they kissed until they fell asleep, not until Tiffany tells Seohyun what she’s wanted to hear the least.

 

“Hyo called me back.” she says it out of the blue, as they eat together, Seohyun feeling her heart almost stop as she looks up at Tiffany nervously. “I’m on a train back tomorrow.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“I hope I helped with your block. With whatever it was I did.”

 

Seohyun thinks to tell Tiffany of what she’s done since meeting her, though with the prospect of her leaving tomorrow, she thinks better of it. “You did.”

 

The mood isn’t the same between them, when they say goodbye and Seohyun feels her heart drop and chest clench in a pain she can’t explain.

 

**************************************

 

“Hey! Welcome back.” Taeyeon greets her at the train station, hugging Tiffany tight as she steps onto the platform.

 

“Mmm, thank you.” Tiffany tiredly sets her luggage down.

 

“Did you miss me?” Taeyeon grins, Tiffany chuckling slightly.

 

“How could I not miss this midget.”

 

“Oooh, that’s cruel. Now c’mon, let’s get you home.”

 

 

Tiffany rests her head against the window as Taeyeon drives her home, watching the streets of Seoul go by.

 

“How was it?”

 

“Huh? What?”

 

Taeyeon laughs, keeping her eyes on the road. “Your trip to Busan silly. How’s Seohyun, the city. Tell me everything.”

 

“It’s.. a long story.”

 

*********************************

 

Tiffany falls down on her bed when Taeyeon drops her off.  Shuts her eyes as she tries to drift off, not think about the tightness in her chest that doesn’t cease.

 

Hyoyeon isn’t happy with her results when she sees her the next day. Almost a month away and Hyoyeon left with an uninspired writer.

 

Each night she dreams about Seohyun. Of the night they kissed.

 

She wakes up each morning wishing the feeling was what she woke up to.

 

When she bursts into Taeyeon’s office as the thought of what she left each night pushes to the front of her mind.

 

“I kissed her.”

 

Taeyeon stops what she’s doing as fast as Tiffany has ever seen her. “What?!”

 

“Seohyun.. We kissed.”

 

“I.. Well .” Taeyeon thinks for a moment, Tiffany striding nervously. “So you like her?”

 

“That’s.. I don’t know. Tae, I’ve never.. With another woman.”

 

“Why uhm.. What made you kiss her?” Taeyeon asks, not sure what else to say.

 

Tiffany stops, shutting her eyes. Thinking of that month spent in Busan. In the winter chill as they hiked a mountain, where late at night they’d stay close together under a blanket as snow would dot the world outside.

 

How it felt less like a job, like a task she had to complete. How they’d become friends and in that one night, they had something more.

 

“I just.. I needed to, everything felt so.. Whole.”

 

“I think you like her.”

 

Tiffany falls into a seat, shutting her eyes as she sighs. “I’m straight, how can I.. I like her.”

 

“Oh Tiff, what shall we do?"

 

*********************************

 

As Christmas looms, Tiffany goes through the motions of the company Christmas party. Chatting with her coworkers, though as the night wears on, she finds herself in her office, a drink of strong alcohol and the only light the dimness of her monitor.

 

“Tiffany?” she looks up from her drink as she hears a familiar voice by her door, Hyoyeon leaning on the frame.

 

“Good work.” Hyoyeon leaves a filled envelope on her desk, leaving her with a slight nod.

 

Tiffany takes the envelope in her hands. The weight of pages inside, as she pulls the contents out, her heart skips a beat at the signature on the front.

 

She opens the pages as she starts to read. She’d inspired Seohyun some, though as she reads through the pages in her dim office, she feels her heart beat fast. With descriptions of a girl with raven hair and eyes that could smile bright as a crescent moon.

 

Listening to the sound of the party in the main room she looks back at the pages. Maybe it’s the alcohol going through her blood, or just out of plain stupidity, but she grabs her coat. Off to somewhere she knows is a place to better spend Christmas Eve.

 

It’s the last train of the night, when the ticketer looks at her like almost hoping she rethinks her decision, or as she waits on the platform not another soul in sight.

 

The rattling of the train over the tracks almost makes her think she’ll burst from nerves, as her destination comes close and it begins to hit her just what kind of leap she’s taking.

 

When she stands in front of a familiar door and stares down a certain name as her heart almost beats out of her chest.

 

“What in the hell do you want this late at night?” she hears the familiar voice, though it startles her when the frustration rings clear.

 

“It’s Tiffany.” is all she can bring herself to say. On the train ride over she’d thought of what she might say to even get in the door, of a grand speech, though she doesn’t seem to remember any of it the moment she hears her voice. “I’m..I needed to see you.. I needed to talk to you.”

 

Seohyun doesn’t say another word, though as Tiffany waits, in the snow, in the cold winds, the door buzzes open.

 

It’s not an unfamiliar sight, standing in front of her door, knocking and waiting. Though as her heart threatens to pound out of her chest, beating so hard the sound of blood rushes to her ears.

 

“Tiffany..” Seohyun opens the door, though her eyes don’t look at Tiffany, anywhere but at her.

 

“I uhm.. I thought about what I’d say when I got here,” she feels her chest clench tight, like her breath is being pulled out of her. “Truthfully I wasn’t even sure I’d see you.. I read the pages you sent in.”

 

Seohyun looks up slightly, daring to look Tiffany in the eyes. “I see.” she admits, almost defeated.

 

“I’m sorry.” Tiffany says it like it’s what they both expected her to say.  Seohyun feeling her heart want to shatter.

 

“You didn’t have to come all this way to tell me that.”

 

“I didn’t.. But I wanted to, Seo.. I’m sorry I left you how I did.. You were so much more than my job and..” Tiffany feels run dry, stepping closer towards Seohyun. “I fell in love with you.”

 

Seohyun looks up from her dejected stare, eyes shooting wide as she looks up at Tiffany. “Tiffany that’s.. You don’t know what you’re..”

 

“I do know. I’ve spent every day since I left thinking about you. About that night.. And I’m sorry I ran from you, cause every day all I’ve done is dream about you.”

 

Seohyun stays quiet, watching Tiffany as she twitches nervously after her confession, watching as she realizes her own heart pulses furiously.

 

“I understand if I screwed up, I don’t know what I was expecting just.. I had to tell you.” Tiffany sighs, turning around as she starts to leave, admitting her foolishness, though as she takes a step, feeling a hand pull strongly at her wrist.

 

“Don’t go.. Not again.” Seohyun steps forward, pulling Tiffany close, pressing against her, running her hands through Tiffany’s hair.

 

“I won’t, I promise.” Tiffany whispers, Seohyun taking the last distance between them as she desperately crushes her lips against Tiffany.

 

“Inside.” Seohyun gasps as they break apart for breath, Tiffany nodding with her eyes still closed before Seohyun brings them inside, shutting the door behind them, surprised when Tiffany pushes her against the wall, continuing to kiss her senseless.

 

“I kept thinking about kissing you.” Tiffany whispers, running her hands along Seohyun’s hips, gasping as she feels Seohyun rock against, pushing hard against Tiffany as she swaps positions, placing Tiffany against the wall.

 

“I need you, Tiff I can’t.” Seohyun breaks apart, resting her head on Tiffany’s shoulder, rocking her hips hard against Tiffany, praying for anything to put out the fire between her legs.

 

“Seo, you don’t have to ask.” Tiffany feels like the heat going through her will make her combust, when Seohyun places her hands under her thighs and lifts her off the ground with ease, she gasps, holding onto Seohyun tightly. “Oh god.”

 

Placing Tiffany on her bed, Seohyun takes a moment, looking over Tiffany, truly taking her in. When Tiffany shyly looks up at her, Seohyun only captured by the sight of her. “You’re so beautiful Tiffany.”

 

When she blushes red, Seohyun only smiles wide, reaching for the hem of her own top, pulling it over her head.

 

Tiffany groaning, leaning forward, placing her hands on Seohyun’s bare skin.

 

“I kept wondering what it would be like, touching you like this.” Seohyun runs her hands softly along Tiffany’s cheeks, pecking her on the lips before her hands reach low, pulling slightly on Tiffany’s top. “Tiffany.. You’re sure?”

 

“I need you Seo.” Tiffany takes Seohyun’s hand with hers, placing both over her heart. “I want this.”

 

She doesn’t waste a moment, undressing Tiffany, feeling her chest rise and fall, her gasps with fluttering touches along her bare skin.

 

Pulling her own bra away, Tiffany looks in awe as Seohyun’s bare s show in front of her, without thinking, placing her fingers against her s, shutting her eyes as she feels her.

 

“Tiff!” Seohyun whimpers, falling into Tiffany, kissing along her neck.

 

“I feel like I’m going to explode.”

 

“Ugh, Tiffany please.” Seohyun sits up, reaching for her pants pulling them off in the swiftest motion Tiffany has ever seen out of her. Tiffany struggling to do the same, getting them to pool at her legs before Seohyun takes them off, throwing them to the floor. “God, Tiff, you’re dripping.”

 

Tiffany feels the fire between her legs turn to a full blown inferno, when Seohyun places a hand against her , rubbing into her center, she almost bucks off the bed.

 

“Jesus! Seo just take me!” Tiffany groans, Seohyun looking at her surprised at Tiffany’s demand, one she’s more than eager to give her. Pulling her down, heart jumping, lacing her fingers with Tiffany.

 

“I love you.” Seohyun smiles, as Tiffany looks down at her, it only drives her passion, pushing hard against Seohyun, kissing her breathless before her hands drop low, pulling the last piece of Seohyun’s clothes away, leaving them both open to each other. “Here.” Seohyun takes Tiffany’s hand, taking hold of her fingers, lips wrapping around the longest two, Tiffany feeling her chest tight as Seohyun’s lips play against her fingers.

 

“How do I..”

 

“Just do what feels right, it’ll come to you.”

 

Tiffany stares hard at her two fingers, gasping loud when she feels Seohyun brush against her , making her legs shake without control.

 

“Tiff?” Seohyun asks, Tiffany’s eyes bolting wide, struggling to stay still.

 

“Mmm?”

 

“Here.” Seohyun takes her hand, letting Tiffany get the idea.

 

“I’m nervous.”

 

Seohyun sees the apprehension with her, kissing her softly before bringing them to lay down side by side. “You have nothing to be nervous about, trust me.”

 

Tiffany takes a deep breath, when she reaches her hand out, she almost thinks to pass out. Feeling Seohyun in the most intimate way she can imagine, how her wetness coats her fingers, her voice breaks in softest whimpers. Watching her chest heave with effort as she shuts her eyes  and her fingers move against Tiffany just the same.

 

“Oh Tiff!” Seohyun keeps her eyes open, even as bolts of pleasure rush through her, locking eyes with Tiffany as they both tumble into the sweetest oblivion.

 

**************************************

 

It’s freezing outside, snow pouring, dusting the streets as the clock turns so early in the morning, hours before the sun rises on christmas morning. Though Tiffany feels warmer than she’s ever been, watching the snow fall from Seohyun’s bedroom window. Sheets covering her and Seohyun’s warmth flowing through her as they spoon together.

 

“I never thought about another woman like this before.” she whispers. Seohyun rising to rest on her elbow, looking curiously at Tiffany. “I was with men and.. I always thought it was how I was supposed to feel, how I should feel.” turning around, she smiles, seeing Seohyun watch her so thoughtfully. “That was.. So much more than I ever thought.”

 

“Should I consider that high praise?” Seohyun giggles, Tiffany her hand along her cheek.

 

“I don’t think Hyoyeon meant this when she asked me to inspire you.”

 

“What did you think of the..” Seohyun asks nervously, Tiffany laughing, some nerves still between them.

 

“You’re very talented you know, but you might like my smile too much.” Tiffany grins at her, giving her the same crescent eyes Seohyun wrote so fondly of.

 

“Too much? Never.” pecking Tiffany’s lips, she rolls to sit over her waist. “Merry Christmas Tiffany.”

 

“Merry Christmas.”