Fair
Somi, Doyeon, Nayoung

It starts from Doyeon trying to look up pictures of them on the Internet.

Really, all she wanted was a nice fan taken picture of the ending position to send to a distant relative who lived in a different country and was like “IOI who?”.

She finds the article first.

It probably is not a good idea that Doyeon is the first to find it. The unnies tend to be better at rationalizing things. Doyeon and Somi and Yeonjung just say what is on their minds.

But she cannot turn time back, cannot un-click that link and read the article.

Doyeon has a terrible habit too, of reading Internet comments. There is just something about them that she knows she should not go see but draw her anyway so she follows the links like an angry lost puppy, sees the numbers, and is instantly furious and sad.

She was not grossly unhappy before - it seemed reasonable that they did not win since Whistle was quite the song (totally her jam for like two whole weeks) - but the numbers do not lie and the fans worked hard for this and Doyeon just feels sad and sorry and frustrated.

“Whatchu lookin at?”

Yoojung drapes arms around her shoulder.

Doyeon quickly swipes the article away.

“Nothing.”

“Ehh,” Yoojung sticks her tongue out.

Doyeon stands, lets Yoojung’s hands fall to her waist.

“I'm going to go wash up.”

Yoojung pouts at her but releases her and heads out the door presumably in search of an unnie to cuddle.

Doyeon thinks about throwing her towel at the floor to vent her anger but knows that it really will not make a difference.

Somi is kind of mad. Sad mad frustrated. Dani texted her earlier about the performance comforting her a little about them not winning - not that she did not know they had not won - if you don't have a seat on stage you didn't win anything, that's how it's always been.

And she thought she would be OK with that but she's not.

There's still the next one, she knows, but they're also only doing the red carpet performance so it's kind of telling.

Somi is really not OK with this and so she is grumpier than she really needs to be, having waved bye to the managers with far less energy than usual and just sulking in the car with her earphones in.

Now they are back at the dorm, all eleven of them, which is rare, and she managed to win her way into washing up earlier, which is somewhat rarer because Sohye is a beast at rock paper scissors, but she is too mad to sleep because she is not OK with this so she wanders out into the living room.

Sure, they won't win best artist or best song or best album or best dance because there are tons of crazy good sunbaes.

But she had thought they had a good chance at this one - she had even voted for themselves a few times just to check on the status of the vote standings.

It's enough that they don't get to go on Inkigayo, that almost none of the variety shows outside of the Mnet network invite them for things, but to be snubbed like this makes Somi feel helpless and she hates feeling helpless.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

She turns at Chungha's voice.

Chungha pats the space on the couch next to her and Somi gladly cuddles up, rests on her shoulder.

Chungha pats her on the head, “You guys did well with the dance break.”

Somi smiles despite herself, “that's cos you're a great teacher and the choreo was bomb.”

“Eyy,” Chungha says.

Nayoung emerges from the shower only to find Yeonjung, Somi and Doyeon glaring at each other in the living room.

She clears and Somi jumps.

“What is this?”

Somi mutters something under her breath but Doyeon just frowns and stands.

Yeonjung shrugs, “I think I'm too happy?”

Nayoung’s frown deepens.

“Too happy?”

Yeonjung rolls her eyes, “These two are still salty that we didn't win the rookie award.”

Somi squishes the pillow in her hands, Doyeon looks like she wants to say something but her eyes flick first to Nayoung and she says nothing.

Ah.

It would be these two hot-headed kids.

And to be honest, Nayoung herself is a little disappointed too, but like the adult and leader that she is, she has to lead by example.

“Well,” Doyeon says, “we should have won.”

Somi nods vigorously.

Nayoung sighs, “But we didn't.”

“Yeah, but-”

“We didn't,” Yeonjung says, “but there's still the next one so it's fine.”

“It's not right,” Doyeon snaps, “The numbers are just wrong.”

Somi looks at her hands.

“We didn't get it,” Nayoung says, knows how much this means to Somi but also that this is reality.

“It has happened. Nothing we say or do is going to change this.”

“But unnie-”

“It's not fair,” Somi says.

Yeonjung rolls her eyes, “What's not fair? Life's not fair.”

Somi wrings the pillow.

By now they have attracted a larger audience. Chungha stands by the entrance to their room, Yoojung sits by the TV, Sohye and Mina leaning against the kitchen doorframe. Sejeong and Jieqiong’s chatter in their room dies down as they hear the silence and they too make their way out.

“It's not fair,” Somi says, “What if we don't get it and-”

Yeonjung shrugs, “If we don't get it, we don't get it. That's all. It's not like we need it.”

Oh dear, thinks Nayoung.

“It's not whether we need it or not,” Doyeon says, “We don't need this. It's just not fair.”

Silence falls over the group. Nayoung thinks she should probably say something. She knows Somi really wanted this and Somi does not like to let go of things she really wants. It is at once an admirable and tiring trait.

The edges of Somi’s mouth twitch, “It's especially not fair for you, unnie.”

Yeonjung raises her eyebrows, laughs, “Me? Why me?”

“Because you guys have already debuted in other groups and if you don't get it now then it's not going to happen and that's not fair, it's really not fair because you worked so hard promoting in two groups and we really should be first but it was stolen from you and that's not fair!”

Oh.

Oh Somi.

“Somi-ah,” Sejeong smiles, “We're glad that you're thinking of us. But it's alright.”

“But it's not,” Doyeon says, “The num-”

“It is,” Chaeyeon comes out from the room, “we don't need the award.”

“I know we don't need it,” Somi says, “I'm young but I'm not stupid.”

Nayoung sighs.

Chaeyeon frowns, “We don't need it because we don't need other people to pat us on the back and say we did a good job. We know we've worked hard.”

She sighs, “I know that it sounds patronizing for me to say that we worked hard when I wasn't here for a lot of it but I know that you all worked really hard.”

“No one's worked harder than you, Chaeyeon-ah”, Sejeong says.

“Yeah! And that's why it's not fair!” Somi leaps to her feet, “Why don't you get it? You and Sejeong-unnie and Mina-unnie and Yeonjung-unnie, you've worked so hard and this is the last chance to get this but it was stolen from you!”

Chaeyeon shrugs, Mina looks startled at being addressed.

“It's hard for us to get anything at all and the one thing we thought we could get… It's just not fair.”

“It's alright even if we don't get anything,” Mina starts haltingly as she realizes that they are all listening to her, “I-I've had a lot of fun, made a lot of wonderful memories. I think that's enough for me.”

“Yup,” Yeonjung says, “Weren't we going to enjoy our time together as much as we can?”

“Yeah, but-”

“No buts,” Sejeong says, “We're alright with this, we still get to spend time together, we really appreciate your concern for us but it's alright. We have you, Somi, you and all of us. We're still in this together. It may not be fair but it is enough, well, for me at least.”

Nayoung holds her breath and waits for the cogs in Somi’s head to stop spinning.

Somi sighs, throws her pillow at Yeonjung.

“Yah, Jeon Somi!”

Nayoung smiles.

Doyeon finds her later as she is digging through their kitchen cabinets for cereal.

“Unnie,” she says.

“Hm?”

“Is there really nothing we can do?”

Nayoung sets the bowl down, looks at Doyeon gripping her phone in her hands.

“I mean, it’s not that we’d be saying things that aren’t true. The numbers don’t add up. The rules don’t make sense. You can’t just change them like this.”

She knows.

Minkyung texted earlier, sent screenshots, linked articles, pasted in DC Gallery comments.

Nayoung shrugs, “We could talk to the managers but there’s really nothing we can do. It’s not going to change anything.”

“But they’re wrong,” Doyeon says, “they changed things, they made it different. It’s not right.”

Nayoung nods.

As much as she wants to agree with Doyeon, wants to make a fuss about this, wants to raise hell and get her girls what they deserve, she is the leader of a group that has two months left, a group that YMC has taken under their wing because no other agency would.

She has no say and no way to get to say things, no way to make their voices truly heard. And even if there were a way to do so, it would leave a bitter taste, would not go down well.

This is how their industry works.

This is how the world works.

“It’s not right,” she says.

“It’s not,” Doyeon says.

“But we’ll be alright.”

Doyeon frowns, looks at the phone in her hand, then up at Nayoung.

Nayoung reaches over, gently takes it and places it on the table, “I know you’re upset.”

Doyeon nods.

“We all are,” Nayoung says, “no one wants this. No one likes this.”

“It’s not fair,” Doyeon says.

“Yes,” Nayoung says, “but it’s what we’ve got. There is still much to be thankful for.”

Doyeon sighs.

“Isn’t there?” Nayoung says just as a very loud “Yah, Jeon Somi!” comes from the Beagle room.

“There is,” Doyeon mumbles.

Nayoung reaches over, squishes her cheeks, makes Doyeon nod with her hands.

“There is.”

Doyeon turns her head away a little but Nayoung catches the slightest hint of a smile.

A/N: Comments feed the author's soul. Happy Holidays.