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Sometimes...

Sometimes I wished you did not say it so suddenly...

Because maybe I would not have panicked and had more time to get out of this confused state that I was in first before denying the fact that... you were making me feel things lately.

That maybe I would not have rejected you because I was still not sure of what to do; accept you and risk our friendship over the years or ignore my budding feelings for you and miss the chance of being loved by someone as great as you. I was so lost..... so afraid,

that's why I couldn't say yes to you. 

I'm sorry, I really am.

Sometimes I wished I could find someone like you from the countless of men that I go out with

Because maybe I would not have to face you every single time I broke up with someone new;  what can I do though, I can only run and rant to you.

I would not have to face a sorrowful looking person whom did nothing but stayed by my side, cheering me up like I needed it more than she does; your presence alone is enough to lift my spirits up.

I would not have to make you feel so undeserving of love everytime you asked me to reconsider your feelings for me; i'm scared of how you're making me feel, but much more scared of what people will think about us. 

that's why all I can do is to tha