302 days earlier

When days pass by, Joohyun admits that she does get fascinated by her roommate from time to time.

First of all, Seulgi is one of those persons who likes to laugh. That explains the random jokes or the funny tone in her voice occasionally. It’s a bit odd considering her otherwise chic appearance and clothing style, at least as chic as you can get in college, yet it’s sort of a pleasant surprise.

Secondly, she has a really nice voice. It’s melodious and has a nice tone to it, even when she speaks, but more when she walks around humming a small tune. She seems musical, at least more than Joohyun herself, as she one day noticed the wooden work of a guitar standing by a cramped corner of their room. She also, at least sometimes, likes to dance around. Mostly she does it for laughs, but as a dancer herself, Joohyun does notice that Seulgi does know how to move.

Then there are the other small things, like how her face brightens up when her mother calls or how she always seems to have a stash of pens by the desk.

Yet what surprises Joohyun the most is just how much she writes. Her hand always seems to be holding onto a pen and pointed down towards white paper, creating words and sentences that aren’t anything of Joohyun’s business. However, she can’t say that she’s not curios about what the dark brunette writes in that book of hers. The funny part is, with how much she seems to write, she hasn’t even finished half of her pale, orange notebook.

It’s one of those late afternoons after a long session of Japanese 101 and trying to speak a language she’s still pretty shaky at. Her mind becomes a jumbled mess, and it tires her a bit always having to think of what the correct words are and what to say. So, when she finally gets up to her room to only notice a source of light glowing from the desk, she already knows what Seulgi is up to, and closes the door quietly.

There’s a song that echoes around the small room, a melody that’s slow and slightly mellow. It’s not a radio or her phone playing it. That’s because as far as Joohyun knew, Seulgi always put on Japanese songs just to Joohyun would learn something. They were never in Korean, and they weren’t sung by Seulgi either.

It takes her by surprise for a second, but Seulgi doesn’t seem to stop softly singing for herself while writing. It’s like she’s in some bubble of her own world, and Joohyun’s entrance probably didn’t take her out of that state of mind.

“If I stop and wait, maybe you would come back,” is one of the lyrics Joohyun gets to hear as she watches the back of Seulgi. Her hair is tied up in a bun, an oversized sweater on her thin frame, and the bright light creating shadows of her figure behind her. From the window’s reflection, Joohyun notices her concentrated face as her lips utter the song to herself. “Even if I consider it fate that we passed by”

Joohyun puts down her bag, tiredness clouding her eyes, and making the desire to just fall asleep to Seulgi’s voice rather large. She thinks about doing it at least, but before she even gets her tired body on the bed, she notices that Seulgi isn’t singing anymore.

The said girl turns around just a bit to face Joohyun standing not so far away from her. “You just got back?” Seulgi asks, a certain smile on her lips.

That’s another thing Joohyun never understood; Seulgi has a nice smile. It’s very pretty, but for some reason, it makes her feel odd things. She doesn’t know what it means yet, but she’s sure that’s not normal.

Joohyun simply nods, sitting down on her bed. “It’s finally nice to hear something I understand,” she can’t help but make fun of herself then.

A laugh escapes Seulgi as expected, short yet sweet in a way. The lighter brunette turns her gaze towards the girl sitting by the desk, still letting one of her pens lazily rest upon her hand. From this angle and the light, she almost looks paler than usual, but more in the sense of a doll than anything else. She’s not sure if she finds that observation a bit scary or scarily beautiful.

She shakes off the thought immediately, and luckily doesn’t have to think much more about it before the silence is interrupted. “I was thinking about getting some snacks,” Seulgi then informs. “Do you want to join?” she offers later.

The window is cracked a bit open to let the crisp and fresh air in, as Joohyun turns her gaze towards the said window. It’s still light outside, the sun only barely set, creating a bright blue sky. There are no clouds in sight from the view Joohyun sees anyway, and it’s perfect for a stroll. Guess Seulgi also knows her way around, as she’s lived in the area for a while now. Usually she spent her vacations back in Osaka, and sometimes she just left and came as she pleased. That’s what she told Joohyun, although two months had passed and Seulgi was pretty much a lot in the dorm.

Joohyun thinks about it, looks at the blue sky outside, before slowly getting up. “Sure,” she replies, thinking it can’t be that far anyway.

Boy, was she wrong.

She feels her white converse turn grayer by each step down the road, clinging onto her oversized jacket. Even if the weather was mild, the wind is harshly cold and lives its own life. “Are we even there yet?” Joohyun hears herself sound like a whining kid, following the dark-haired girl underneath the white streetlights.

“Such a baby,” Seulgi says as she walks calmly through the evening. “We’ve only been out for like ten minutes, you can survive the next fifteen,” she adds much to Joohyun’s horror.

She almost stops in her tracks then. “Are we walking this far for snacks?” she asks then, already falling a bit behind Seulgi because she’s just confused. “If I’m going to walk twenty-five minutes in the middle of nowhere then I’d expect a full meal,” Joohyun exclaimed then. “We couldn’t even go to the store five minutes away,” Joohyun ends it there. She’s not complaining that much, not really, but she’s tired and it’s getting colder, so she’d rather not walk.

They continue walking however, Joohyun following Seulgi down unfamiliar turns and ways, crossing the streets and a park in the process. It’s weird, already having been here for two months yet not really know much of the outside world. She knows where her dorm is and where the university is, and other than that, she’s lost. It’s not like she really has to visit a store so often because all meals are served in the dorm, and there is a small kiosk nearby that still has all the basic necessities plus snacks.

Seulgi slows down to walk in the same pace as Joohyun, her eyes at her. “Well, you’ll understand why when we get there,” she simply says as she places her hands inside the pockets of her jacket. Her face is bare of makeup, yet it doesn’t really seem to bother her. She almost looks fresher and younger this way. Joohyun doesn’t know why that is, but she figures that Seulgi looks pretty either way, and that’s all that there is to it.

She’s not sure if she’s jealous or if it’s just pure admiration, or something entirely different. It’s not like Joohyun hasn’t gotten compliments before, but inside she feels her beauty is a bit generic. Not that she minds, she has a lot of confidence in herself most of the time, but there’s something unique about Seulgi’s appearance that is more appealing to her. What it is, well, she’s not sure yet. All she knows is that she likes it.

Except for the small amounts of traffic and the glaring colors of the stoplights, there’s nothing really much going on where they are. The buildings are lit up, but it’s not the same as in Seoul where it will cover the stars and the city lights become your stars. It’s not dark enough to be covered in a blanket of twinkling lights, but the stars above are still more visible than back in Seoul. It’s a sight she hasn’t seen in a while.

“I’m this close to making you buy me something to drink,” Joohyun says not being serious at all, but just to say something. It’s not like the silence as they walk is awkward, at least not for her, but she just feels the need to fill it up either way.

Seulgi looks at her then. “We’re almost there now,” she states.

Then soon enough Joohyun is greeted by a familiar vision of train rails, gray tiles and a small building not having many people around. Not at this time of the evening anyway, only small lights illuminating the blue sign of the train station. Yet the only thing that really caught her attention was the vending machines.

Joohyun can’t help but give Seulgi an odd look as they stand on the other side, waiting for the light to turn green despite no cars driving by at all. “Do you want to live alone so bad that you’re taking me here?” Joohyun jokes a bit.

Seulgi has it in her to laugh a bit. “No, but you’ll be surprised by what is there,” she replies mysteriously. The wind makes strands of her long hair follow it as she lets her hands push it away. That image is a kind of aesthetic Joohyun can’t help but think is one primary way to remember the said girl. The darkening sky, the white street lights shining underneath with more stars than she’s seen in a while, with a dark-haired girl matching all too well. It’s like night taking its full form.

 They cross the road when the light eventually turns green, and soon enough they stand in front of the same vending machines Joohyun briefly saw when she arrived some time ago. She’s about to question what was so much better with this than a store before she realized, to her delight, that she recognized more than one item on the shelves behind the thick glass.

In hues of many colors decorating the wrappers, were familiar words she can actually read with no struggle, with tastes she’s familiar with that it makes her surprised why they would sell these Korean snacks in a vending machine in Japan.

However, she doesn’t really have it in her to ask why, because even if it had only been two months she still craved those guilty pleasures she used to sneak herself from the cabinet from her parent’s house, and when she moved out to her own tiny apartment in Seoul a little over a year ago, she still had her own “junk food” shelf. Sure, they have Pocky which is basically the same as Pepero, but it still didn’t feel just right.

“Well since I dragged you here, pick a number,” Seulgi said then while grabbing her little wallet from her pocket. Her pale hands held onto a bright yellow leather wallet, one that was so blinding yet seemed oddly sophisticated.

Joohyun has it in her to insist that she can pay herself, even if she knows that she has no cash and only her card, but Seulgi just ignores her while waiting for her order. She sighs then, probably knowing she’s not going to give up as the lights illuminated her determined expression. “075 and 034,” Joohyun replies then in Japanese just because. A pack of Pepero and a soda, that’s all she’s been craving anyway.

Seulgi lets her elegant hands push the numbers for the first one, the Pepero, and she starts smiling a bit. “I knew you had a sweet tooth,” she says then as she inserts some coins. It takes some movements before the machine suddenly starts pushing the Pepero down, but before it can do anything more, Seulgi suddenly gives it a small kick. The action surprises Joohyun, but suddenly not one, but two packs fall into the retrieving area. “The reason I go here isn’t always because of the Korean stuff, but more because you often get two for the price of one, if you know the correct ways to do it,” Seulgi informs then with not much of enthusiasm.

The shorter girl gives her a look. “How do you know exactly how to make it do that? “she asks curiously. Not that it’s an ethical thing to do, but at the end of the day with the stocked-up goods, she has a feeling it’s not many people who do this on a daily basis anyway.

She watches Seulgi give her the two Pepero packs before she repeats the same prosses with the soda, except she doesn’t kick it this time just to get one. “It doesn’t work on drinks for some reason, I don’t know,” she shrugs before handing her the bright pink soda. “Anyway, I’m not sure of the physics behind it, I just got mad when it was stuck and kicked it with two packs of chips in return,” Seulgi informs as she conveniently presses the number for a bag of said chips. “Then I figured I could do the same without it being stuck, and that’s about it.”

When she’s gotten her bags of chips and a drink for herself, they end up sitting by the white seats in the small waiting area. It’s dead silent around them, only the wind and the occasional car passing by. From where they sit Joohyun can see a couple of buildings, the horizon only blocked partially by a wall filled with colorful posters and whatnot. “So, what brings you here?” Joohyun asks then as they both sit there. She’s not sure what to make of the silence.

“To this little town?” Seulgi retorts before taking a sip of her drink, then placing the lid right back. It’s as if she’s thinking, her eyes looking straight ahead to the blue night. “I’m not sure actually,” she says then. “Guess I just wanted to get away a little, what about you?” Seulgi steers the conversation otherwise back to her.

Joohyun shrugs then. “I always wanted to do something new, so I guess this is something new,” she begins not thinking too much about it. A Pepero stick is placed between her lips, hanging limply as if she was smoking a cigarette instead of eating a chocolate snack.

The other suddenly leans slowly towards her, making Joohyun question what she’s doing until a hand suddenly fell inside her red box of candies. A Pepero stick ends up between Seulgi’s pink lips as well, almost as if teasing Joohyun a little. “Anata wa shurui no kawaiidesu,[1]” the said girl utters something in Japanese, something that sounded so off to Joohyun’s beginner ears, that she barely understood what she said at all. She understood something about cute and you, but she’s just not going to think it’s something Seulgi doesn’t mean, so she just doesn’t comment it.

She can’t help but smile however, simply nudging the other girl before taking a small handful of Seulgi’s snacks in slight revenge. “Watashi wa sugoi[2],” Joohyun tries to say it confidently, yet she has a feeling that it still sounds a bit off. Mostly because she’s not sure if she said it right. It’s not as bad as when she first moved here, though, so she does guess that it is an improvement.

A small pat landed on Joohyun’s shoulder then. “You tried,” Seulgi replies teasingly, her tongue lightly sticking out making Joohyun chuckle.

Silence passes them by again, but much more relaxing than before. They sit there underneath the night sky, sudden clouds rolling in, but they don’t seem too heavy. The small box rests between her hands as she wants to advert her gaze towards the one beside her, but she stops, not really knowing why.

It takes a small while, and then Seulgi seems to be humming something. It sounds like the same tune she sang to an hour ago, tapping her fingers on the plastic bottle of her drink. Soon enough she does faintly sing, and as Joohyun has come to learn, Seulgi likes singing out loud from time to time. It’s pleasant, it has a nice ring to it, and it’s soft on the ears. It makes Joohyun smile a bit, almost feeling something being carried of her shoulders, despite the sad melody.

“Even if I shout and call for you,” she sings softly with the wind fluttering again through the thin posters and the strands of dark hair. It sets the mood, makes it a bit sadder even if there’s not much to be sad for. At least, not for Joohyun, she can’t say anything for Seulgi. “I already became a person that you erased.”

Maybe she’s thinking about old memories, moments that Joohyun can’t understand because she wasn’t there to experience them with her. Even if it’s probably none of her business to ask, she wants to, but feels at loss as to what she’s going to ask for anyway.

In the months that follow to the point of her goodbye, she learns how to piece one and one to realize that Seulgi wasn’t like the persona she portrayed herself to be. She could blame it all she wanted on the weather, but Joohyun knew well enough that even on a clear night sky as that day, she still held back. Whatever it was she would learn later, but in that moment, all she could do was embrace the slightly gloomy twinge in Seulgi’s voice, and wonder about what made her think of passerby’s and persons Joohyun didn’t know. Or the fact that they were merely passerby’s to each other.