Sunny had her hands on her padded jacket pocket and crossed the street. From afar she could see two shadows under a big umbrella in front of the illuminating convenient store. One was sitting upright, and another had her head on the table.

“She’s hella drunk.” Tiffany informed Sunny when she arrived and handed Taeyeon’s phone.

“She can’t drink much. How many cups?” Sunny asked. She drew away the messy hair from Taeyeon’s face and could see the red cheek.

“Two bottles,” Tiffany mentioned the empty bottles on the table, then one that broke on the pavement because Taeyeon passed out. “and a half.”

“All of them?”

“I only had two glasses.”

Sunny sighed. Sunny looked at the unmoving body in front of her, half angry and mad. But at least she wasn’t drinking alone. “Thank you though, for calling me and taking care of her till I arrive.”

“No worry. Do you need help to carry her?”

Sunny hooked one of Taeyeon’s arm around her neck, “I could manage. It’s late, you should go home. Sorry for the trouble.”

“It’s nothing,” Tiffany said and helped until Sunny’s posture was steady. Then they bowed goodbye.

Tiffany wondered if she should say something according what she had known from Taeyeon. She just watched the two women walked away, decided she had no place. It had no meaning if Sunny heard it from her; Taeyeon was the one who should say all of it.

Tiffany collected the empty bottles and put it on the trash, “What a waste.”

==== ==== ====

Sunny thought she could use Tiffany’s help. Carrying Taeyeon all the way to their apartment was quite difficult than she imagined. Adding that she was afraid that Taeyeon might vomit along the way made Sunny used up twice of her energy to fasten the pace.

Sunny laid Taeyeon on the bed, then quicky searched for an unused box and covered it with plastic. She sat on the side of Taeyeon’s bed and put the bin nearby.

“Idiot,” Sunny said as she took off Taeyeon’s jacket and rolled Taeyeon on the side in case she vomited. Taeyeon never even had a bottle by herself when they drank together.

Thinking that Taeyeon might wake up later, Sunny went to the kitchen and looked through their refrigerator for something to cook. Eggs, fruits, yesterday’s pizza, Taeyeon’s mom side dishes, beers and more beers. She took out the packed kimchi and closed the door.

Sunny was in the middle of the cooking process when she heard a vomiting sound. She closed the pot and filled a glass of water before walking to Taeyeon whose head buried in the bin and body curled as waves of nausea ripped through. She silently patted Taeyeon’s back.

“I think I’m dying,” Taeyeon groaned and finally looked up from the bin. Sunny handed her the glass and Taeyeon used it to clean .

 “Lie down,” Sunny said and retrieved the empty glass from Taeyeon’s hand.

Taeyeon quietly follow Sunny’s lead. Her room was still spinning, and she felt sick.

“I cook kimchi soup, you want to have some?

Taeyeon hesitated. Sunny rarely cooked. “Would it stop the room?”

“It’ll keep you hydrated.”

“I guess yeah.”

Taeyeon watched the double vision of Sunny’s back as the latter went out of the room. The last thing she remembered, she was with Tiffany, drinking outside. How many she drank, she forgot.

Sunny returned with a bowl, she tasted it earlier and thought it was decent enough. She handed it slowly to Taeyeon. “Hot, careful.”

Taeyeon brought a spoon to her lips and burnt herself despite of the warning. “It’s hot.”

“I told you.” Sunny shook her head and retrieved the bowl. She blew the soup before feeding it to Taeyeon.

“It’s edible. I tasted it,” Sunny said as Taeyeon didn’t open .

But that wasn’t Taeyeon’s reason. Although her head was hurting, she felt a little awkward with Sunny feed her like this. It was a little bit too sweet when she knew Sunny did this not only because of kindness and concern of a friend, but also fondness. Taeyeon parted her lips and drank the soup as the spoon kept poking . Warmth spread within her.    

“Taste like water,” Taeyeon said after a couple of spoons. She felt better.

Sunny stopped blowing the soup, “Do you have to say that to the person who bother to cook for you when she doesn’t even cook for herself?”

“I mean that’s exactly what I need now.” Taeyeon rushed to explain. When Sunny’s face was unimpressed, Taeyeon exaggerated her headache. She moaned, “My head.”

Sunny’s expression changed to worry, “Maybe you should sleep it off.” She put down the bowl on the nearby nightstand.

Taeyeon slided down to rest with Sunny’s help. She soon closed her eyes as the sudden change of position made her head felt dizzy. She thought Sunny would leave her some space to rest. When Taeyeon felt the weight on the side of bed wasn’t moving, she opened her eyes to see Sunny was staring down at her. The gaze was different.

Sunny diverted her eyes when she was caught.

“Aren’t you going to sleep?” Taeyeon asked.

Sunny was startled, “Yeah, right. You don’t need anything else?”

Taeyeon shook her head weakly.

Then Sunny rose up from Taeyeon’s bed to turn off the bed lamp and took the bowl. “Rest well.”

Taeyeon suddenly felt lonely. Maybe that wasn’t a good idea after all, acting she was okay after all those drinks and emotional attacks.

“I think I need you to stay,” Taeyeon said when Sunny was about to close the door. “In case my headache got worse,” she added when it might sound too dependent.

The door was ajar with Sunny’s figure blocking the light from the living room, making sure what Taeyeon had just said.

“O-okay,” Sunny said nervously, but then reminded herself that Taeyeon was sick and needed her help.

Sunny took care of the bin and the soup before she settled to the space Taeyeon had left for her.

Taeyeon had her eyes closed when Sunny slowly climbed into bed. She felt cautious and became alerted as Sunny lied with back on her. It wasn’t the same feeling like late pillow talks they had done numerous times before. There was an elephant in the room, a tension in the air. It could be seen that Sunny felt the same way by occupying as close to the edge and leaving an invisible line between them. It was uncomfortable. Unfortunately or fortunately, no matter what the situation was, her headache won over her body and Taeyeon drifted to sleep.

Taeyeon thought she slept for a long time. The room had finally stopped spinning. Her bladder woke her and she immediately rushed for bathroom. After her release, Taeyeon looked at the digital clock at her nightstand. She had just sleep for three hours. Then she glanced to the other side of the bed, Sunny’s back greeted her. Making quiet movement, Taeyeon carefully climbed to bed and adjusted her position to face Sunny without waking the latter up.

Taeyeon stared at the Sunny’s rumpled hair. Fingers that never hesitated to touch, now did. She didn’t understand why Sunny was so worked up over a misleading wall-smack with Yuri but now she felt she understood. But still, her fingers crawled back under her chin and stayed there. Because now she wasn’t sure what her gestures would mean. Whether the words she heard was right, if Sooyoung, the person she didn’t trust, was telling something she failed to know all these years.

The idea to date Sunny tortured her thought for these past few weeks. It made a tremendous confusion and doubt on her mind. However, the thought that it was possible for them to date was on whole another level. It was almost overwhelming. And crucial.

It slapped Taeyeon, actually. Telling her that everything she tried to do over these years was nothing. All those meaningless meetings, flirting, dates were only to find the fault or mistakes her exes possessed. That they weren’t Sunny, they were nothing like Sunny that Taeyeon had tried so hard to understand and let go. That Taeyeon was so in her own world of assumption that she depended on Sunny too much and doubted if Sunny would need her as much.

And now Sunny would, if Sooyoung’s words were true and Taeyeon didn’t misheard. It only needed one question. The answer was already known.

But something stopped her from asking. Why Sooyoung was there earlier?How long she has been meeting Sunny?Is there something changed between them?

Because if there was, it meant what Taeyeon heard was nothing. She was too late.

Taeyeon let out an exasperated sigh. Her body felt tired and she regretted drinking.

“Is your head better?”

Taeyeon startled when the still body of Sunny moved, snapping her out of her thought. “Yeah,” Taeyeon muttered.

Sunny slowly rotated her body towards Taeyeon. Eyes met eyes, knees touched.

The unexpected close distance petrified them. Yet, no one seemed to back away.

At first Sunny assumed that Taeyeon heard everything. Now, by the look Taeyeon gave to her, Taeyeon did hear everything.

Here they go, betting more than ten years of friendship in the air filled with unspoken feelings waited to be spoken.

Eyes shaking, body temperatures raised.

Sunny cracked under the pressure, “Taeyeon-“

“Why you didn’t tell me?” Taeyeon cut her in.

Sunny whimpered. She could feel her heartbeat increasing its pace. “I don’t know how.” She mumbled, dared not look at Taeyeon’s eyes. Sunny felt she was fragile as a baby and laid bare as Taeyeon knew her feeling now.

“Is it that hard?”, Taeyeon asked softly, with a hint of disappointment and curiosity.

Sunny nodded meekly. Eyes looked at Taeyeon’s sleeves, right under her chin. “It’s too,” Sunny searched for a word. “risky.” Her heart could explode in any other s