❝ I don't know where it comes from; all this love I have for you. I don't know where to put it now that you're gone.  ❞

+
 

( Sehun POV )

He brought his heavy steps forward, his eyes never leave the nothingness of the air ahead and his lips were parted slightly, emitting a breath that's vivid to his eyes. He didn't mind at all about the pain of his feet from the non-stop walking. It feels almost numb; he could barely feel his feet anymore and he doesn't care at all where they would take him to. The boy didn't bother to look around him and examine the look people are giving him right now; curious, strange, worried. 

As if on cue, his feet come to a halt near the flower shop he used to go every Saturday. He glanced to the shop before inhaling a deep breath, only to exhale a minute after. He places one of his hand on the nearest wall as his other free hand clutches his clothed chest with his eyes shut. His breathing haggard. The ache started to gather around his chest, suffocating him on the inside. Once again, he took a deep breath while hitting on his chest as if it would help to ease the ache. When he realized the attempt to ease the ache by doing that was fruitless, he settles himself down onto the ground with his legs crossed with each other. 

He stays motionless for a while before he brings both of his slender legs forward, closer to his chest as he wraps his long limbs around them; keeping them secure. The blonde buried his face in between his legs trying to calm himself down but once again; failed. He raised his head, again, inhaling the air like he was desperate for it. But then once the first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. The boy bend forward where he sat on the ground and pressing his palms to the ground; he began to cry with the force of a person vomiting on all fours. A lump formed in his throat and his voice cracks whenever he tries to speak. "Why?"— was all he could say, screaming like he's being ripped off. 

His face were red and blotchy, eyes bloodshot, his eyelids were puffy— none of which are attractive nor bearable to look at. He scrubs and blow his nose so they don't end up with snot running down his face. His breath stutters when he tries to take a deep breath. He swore he could hear himself screaming silently, suffocating with each breath he took holding onto his pride. He tried to hold back the seething torrent of tears he used to wash away his anger. But no matter how hard he tries — he just couldn't get the hold of himself. His lungs rummaged for air as the sobbing had the same force of someone drowning. The flesh under his ribcage throbbed, his cheeks burned, and his mind created memories and scenarios that made the tears continue.

He didn't stop, though he was well aware of the people around him and there is this particular guy who keeps yelling incoherent words that Sehun could not process in his head. When he passed by him, Sehun could smell the mixture of alcohol and cigarettes which made him move a little bit backwards as he was taken aback by the smell. Maybe he was scared, or maybe he never liked the smells. When the guy disappears from his sight, Sehun heaves out a heavy sigh.

It's hard to fight yourself to survive when you spend 90% of every waking moment hating yourself. This isn't living, this is dying slowly. Is it wrong for wanting to die quickly? When our pets got sick, we put them out of their miseries, it's seen as the loving thing to do. So why won't they just let me die too? Why can't they see me as their sick pets who has no end in sight? This isn't ever going to get better, it is only ever going to get less bad. 

And that is no way to live, and every reason to want to die. 

+

The blonde boy watched carefully on his surroundings. His thin, long- hand find its way under his chin to support the weight of his head as he leans on to his palm. The long painful hours of being inside of the cafe were spent by finishing up his cafe records that was supposed to be finished at the end of the weekend and analyzing people who walk passed the cafe out of curiosity. There were surely lots of events that occurred before him but he found out that maybe it is better to just watch. 

The boy shifts his body into a comfortable position, leaning his head gently on the wall before letting out an exasperate sigh. Nothing has ever exhausted him other than having to deal with his indescribable mixed emotions right now. He was sure, that happiness was just a step away from him that day; but all of the hopes were replaced with disappointment. He knew, too much hopes could caused too much disappointment at the end, but it won't hurt to hope on something you wished for the most. 

He unknowingly glances at the side of his seat as if someone was sitting there. Seconds passed, he turned his attention back towards the ceiling only to shut his eyes after a while. It was too much to take in in just a day and the boy himself wasn't that good in handling things. He was never careless or messy; never. But the awful silence of being alone kills him inside slowly. The aching feelings in his stomach that will eventually made him choke into tears doesn't do any justice either. The hollowness of his heart made him unable to think squarely. 

Being alone was not something he opted for in life, but when people he loved come and go like he was a town people stopped for just a moment; he couldn't possibly pay no heed to the fact that being alone was the only option in his daily life. 

The boy detested the loneliness— emptiness— of one soul, so full of agony and melancholy that no antidotes could cure. It was ridiculous as to why some need to dole up with the pain of being alone, let alone the broken-hearted. There were manifold of people out there who could possibly be offering companies, comfort, love; the things we all have been seeking for our entire life. So, why? Why can't people stay out of loneliness? Of agonies? 

Indeed, life is not always full of colors and rainbows; but why can't we filled those lives of people with our own colors and rainbows? Why do we need to insist on being so selfish and ignorant of other people's feelings? 

Maybe it was a karma for him.

Maybe it was his fate. 

Whatever it was; Sehun couldn't take it any of this anymore. It feels like this is the end of everything. 

Part of him wished for death, but the other part of him wished someone noticed. 

+

( Chanyeol POV )

The red-haired Chanyeol walks with a terribly disorganized steps. One of his hand tried to get a hold of something while the other one swings the alcohol bottle higher into the sky as his lips quirk into a smirk. His clothes is a mixed reeked of alcohol, cigarettes and perfumes that belongs to nobody he knows. He would spin and stumbled over anything that has been blocking his ways, even the people. He would start laughing and repeating incoherent words to himself and even yells at people who did nothing at all. 

He didn't mind at all about the pain of his feet from the non-stop walking. It feels almost numb; he could barely feel his feet anymore and he doesn't care at all where they would take him to. The boy didn't bother to look around him and examine the look people are giving him right now; curious, strange, worried. 

Chanyeol stops abruptly as he saw flickers of lights coming from his left. As he turned his direction towards the lights, his eyes shows a glint of sadness. It was Sehun's cafe; the one he opened for those with heartbreak, hoping that his beverages could help to ease the pain. He contemplated to go inside of the cafe, instead, he just stood there; observing the people inside; ordering their drinks from the counter, chatting to their companies, reading and looking for books from the shelves Sehun had placed there on purpose, doing assignments or unfinished work and many more. 

That was when it hits him; he misses Sehun. So much that his heart is starting to dwell from the constant heartache. 

He wanted to go in.

He wanted to go inside and find him.

But he couldn't.

How could he? After all of the horrible things he's done to Sehun, for all the heartache he brought— how could he be simply walking into the cafe like nothing's happened? There were too much memories in there; too much feelings attached. 

Sehun was supposed to be here tonight, he was supposed to walk right into the cafe with the usual smile adorned on his face, he was supposed to be watching the boys do their work, he was supposed to clean the book shelves or add new books into it, he should be sitting in his— their— favorite spot at the corner of the cafe, he was supposed to finished his records by today— Sehun was supposed to be there. But his eyes couldn't get a hold of the familiar frame anywhere. The boy slumps his shoulders forward, shifting his heels as he starts to walk away from the cafe with a heavy heart. 

Chanyeol continues to yell at particularly anyone who passed by him, laughing like a mad man continuously that probably had scared a few. Chanyeol never cared, though. Instead, he gave each one of them a glare— one that looks as dark as the night. He couldn't be sparing any time on them right now, his heart couldn't bear the pain, so he might as well do whatever he wants just for tonight. 

Blurry, his eyes captured a single figure on the ground, looking as small as his Sehun. Don't be ridiculous! He mutters to himself profanities under his breath as he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. Caring less of what is happening around him, the tall male walks passed the person without turning or asking if they were alright or not. 

But his feet come to a halt after 10 steps away from the person he's passed by just now. Instead of turning around, Chanyeol just stood there motionless. He look up to the sky and saw the stars shining brightly under him. Sehun-ah, how are you coping, my love? Have you been well? Have you been eating well? Did the nightmares bother you anymore? 

I miss you, Sehun. Very.

+

So, here is the deepest secret nobody knows— here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud. And the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hold or mind can hide. And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

They carry each other's heart— in each other's respective hearts. Even though it feels empty sometimes, the memories brought back, gave them hope. A hope to believe again, a hope to be happy again— a hope that they can be reunited again. 

So for the time being, they're trying to live off a content life without each other and they believed that soon— soon enough— their path will crossed again.

—

Hello! I am sorry for my late of updates. Sobs. I am trying to get a hang of my school's schedule and there has been a lot of things going around which I am thankful about since they gave me inspiration on how to continue the story. It has been stuck for like weeks already and it is a shame for me for not trying to think of something. 

I'm really are sorry, so here is the Final chapter I have promised! I hope you like it— tiny bit is alright— because I made this for like 4 hours. IDK. 

Thank you for reading! 

And oh, I will drop a new story very soon and it is baekhyunxOC. Please anticipate since I will be posting the forward maybe.... on this 5th December. Thank you, ppyong!

xoxo