it's bright and sunny outside, yet when jaewon curls his fingers against his curtain and pushes it aside, small raindrops splitter and splatter across his bedroom window. he smiles, despite himself and he doesn't even realize this until a second later.   he sighs, gets up from his bed and grabs his bag from his study desk. it's filled with notebooks and trash, but he zips it close and swings it over his shoulder anyway. the only sound echoing throughout the jung household is the sound of his footsteps, and it gets fainter and fainter as he approaches the front door. he locks it behind him and ruffles his hair when the first few raindrops lands on the crown of his head.   he looks up, squinting. the sun is shining alright, brightly at that. it's noon and he's going to be late for class if he doesn't get a move on right now.    but jaewon is frozen on the spot, neck still craned, eyes still squinting, a name on his mind and a question making it's way to his thoughts.    chaerin, are you there?   he sighs. again. he's been doing that a lot lately.   it's been over a year but it's the first time he's seen a sunshower ever since her death, and he just cannot help but think this is her doing right now. as he looks out the bus window, all he remembers is her.    "jaewon, hey."    for a fraction of a second, he feels his heart stop. it's chaerin. same smile, same eyes, same silly giggle he used to hear at a daily basis. only then, he didn't know how lucky he was. now, he would trade anything, anything at all, to have her back.   and she's here.   only, she's not.   chaerin doesn't have an overly cheerful voice, and she never looked at him so fondly like how her little sister was doing so right then.   "i kept calling your name and people kept staring, idiot." hayi says, scowling a little at him but then her features soften right away because it's like she's not used to be doing such facial expressions.    she's not chaerin.   "so - sorry," he lets out a laugh, it sounds dry even in his own ears.   but hayi doesn't seem to notice. "move," she says, pushing him towards the inside of the two-seater. she plops down beside him, smiling all the while. they don't say anything for a few moments, and jaewon keeps looking outside. it's still sunshowering. was that even a word? if not, well it should be.    he glances at the skies, the clouds big and fluffy and he thinks how it's such a nice day he's kind of sad chaerin's not here anymore to witness it. he slumps in his seat oh-so-obviously and hayi may seem oblivious to everything sometimes, but she does notices this.    before she can ask, jaewon jabs his thumb towards the window. "i was thinking of chaerin and you kinda, umm, popped up." he says, avoiding her gaze. everyone's still cautious around hayi when they mention chaerin's name. everyone's tiptoeing around her and handling her like a fragile package; as if she'll beak if you say all the wrong words.   "oh," she says, her voice immediately deflating. "oh, yeah. i almost forgot." from his peripheral vision, he can see her crane her neck to see the weather phenomenon happening on the other side of the window. "she liked it when it was raining and the sun was out. what was it called again?"   "sunshowers," jaewon mumbled. he looked out, the two of them now observing. the rain came down slower and fewer; it was going to end soon. "she liked them most because other cultures had a story for it. most of them are about giving birth and marriages. like in korea, it means a tiger got married to a fox. in france and algeria, wolves are getting married. in albania, a gypsy marriage was near. in africa, a lioness or hyena was giving birth. they're all groundless beliefs... but she enjoyed them a lot."   when he turns his head to look at her, he thinks he finally understands how she must've felt all these months. he suddenly thinks about all those times he had to witness everyone say their condolences as they pat her on the back and tell her everything's going to be okay and that nothing physically lasts forever.    when their eyes met, jaewon wanted to shrink under her pitiful gaze because he doesn't want it or like it at all.    this black hole churning inside of him makes him feel ridiculous and he thinks, this. this is what hayi must've felt all year.    "you -"   jaewon tries to smile and he's glad it's still so effortless. smiling. despite everything, he still manages to plaster a smile on his face for her. "don't even go there, hayi. i just looked out the window and thought of chaerin. yeah i miss her, but i know when to get my together now. i - oops," he purses his lips, realizing he said a bad word in front of her. "sorry."   hayi's expression undergoes a three-sixty degree change, he's so relived that his smile grows wider and the black hole in his system is now entirely gone. "hey," she shoves him. "shut up, i'm nineteen not nine!"    he can't help but laugh. this time, a real one. it's so loud and abrupt, a few people turn to look at them. he's teasing her and she's just whining, teasing him back but her attempts are futile and weak (as always) and jaewon enjoys this. misses it even. when was the last time they laughed together like this? when was the last time they hung out together? not just her and jaewon, but the three of them with hanbin as well. when? he doesn't even remember.   and suddenly, everything is sad again.    the colors turn to grey, the seas are churning and the world is crawling.   he leans back against his seat, clearing his throat and trying to look at her in the eye. "by the way, where are you headed to?"    the bus stops and every body in the public transport sways a little at the sudden halt. "i have only one class today so i'm free a as a bird." she smiles, lips closed. "i'm hanging out with friends, at the skating rink."    jaewon raises an eyebrow. "'friends'? you don't mean your boyfriend, don't you?"    when hayi avoids his eyes, he has his answer.   "oh hayi," it comes out as a sigh. again, he's been doing that a lot these days it's practically a habit. "it seems like yesterday we couldn't stop teasing you because you still drank milk from a bottle at age eight and you weren't even potty trained - ow, sorry! ow, stop!" laughing. they're laughing again. seconds ago, he felt like his chest was too tight for him because his thoughts strayed away from his place of comfort and happiness. but now it was back, and he had his fingers curled against her wrist to stop her from hitting him.    "hayi -" laugh "- seriously, stop, hayi -" laughs again "- people are staring! ow, stop!"    she makes a sound similar to a tiger cub getting cranky. jaewon laughs once more before placing an arm around her shoulders and reeling her in towards him. "sorry, i was only doing what i did best: teasing you. i -" he wants to say he misses her, but he knows he won't be able to hear the end of it from her if he admitted that and besides, if she was going to the skating rink where he think she was going, her stop was near.    hayi shakes her head, shaking off his arm from her shoulders. "jeez. stop. i'm not a child anymore."   "yeah, and your boyfriend is proof of that." he rolls his eyes. "i can't say i like the guy - ow, seriously. stop hitting me." he rubs the spot where she had repeatedly smacked her hand against as if she were a volleyball player and he was the ball she had to spike. "but i just want you to be careful okay? take it slow. you don't have to rush into things like these."   "i'm honestly not surprised you're lecturing me. i expected it, but i didn't think it would take this long." she snorts a little, her hand gripping on the straps of her bag. "but i'll be fine and if i won't, you will always be there right?"   "one call away." he says.    "right," the smile on her face is small yet filled with sincerity and gratitude. for him.   her eyes form crescent moons when she waves goodbye as she gets off her stop.              that evening, jaewon hears a very familiar laugh all the way across the street as he walks home.             "i'm telling you bin, it's like i don't even know her anymore!"    the soccer ball falls off his foot and he loses his balance a little as he winces because you'd think they were the only two people in the world at that moment with the way jaewon was screaming out his words. the latter wasn't angry, perhaps really frustrated would be the term but hanbin's not quite sure about that word either.    he jogs to retrieve his ball before picking it up from the grass and sitting down next to his best friend on the porch steps of his home. "exactly why do you say so?" he places the ball between them, looking at jaewon inquisitively.    jaewon rolls his eyes at him. "oh, come on, bin. i know you don't like the guy too, he's notorious! that douche. he's not good enough for her plus he's a bad influence so we really have to do something about this. these are dangerous times, who knows what might -"   as much as hanbin cares for hayi, he knows she won't appreciate the fact that they're prying into her personal life now that she actually has one they're no longer a part of. it's the sad truth but the truth nonetheless, and hanbin's on the road to moving on. he doesn't want any setbacks anymore.    "hayi's capable of herself, at least she's not running around with him, tailing him like a puppy and -"   "did i m