The weather is horrible today, which is very unusual for a day smack in the middle of summer, but it happens sometimes. Summer storms are the strangest sort of storms; very humid and very windy, but not too cold or too heavy. It’s just really loud. The sky is full of jagged, grey clouds, and there hasn’t been a hint of sunshine all day. It’s drizzling constantly, sometimes raining hard for a couple of minutes, and then shimmering down to a drizzle again. It’s very quiet outside, since everyone is choosing to spend the day indoors. The wind is strong, whipping the rain until it clashes on the windows, and white lightning can be seen every now and then, followed by loud thunder. Fortunately, the weather forecast says it will be over by tomorrow.

When Baekhyun woke up to gloomy weather this morning, his mood dropped to the floor, and not even Chanyeol’s comforting squeeze on his neck could do anything to fix it. He likes the rain, but not when he has to drive to work, or go outside in general. It’s so windy that his umbrella broke before he even reached the car –not the greatest way to start the day. Everyone was complaining at the office and street traffic was a nightmare, especially on his way back home. Now, all Baekhyun wants to do is let his ruined clothes and shoes become his problem for another day, change into his comfortable and dry home clothes, and spend the rest of his day cuddling his daughter.

He uses his briefcase as a shield from the rain as he runs from the car to the front porch, but the gusts of wind are so irregular that rain seems to be falling from everywhere, not just from above. He gets another mud stain on his slacks –he doesn’t even want to look at it, he’ll simply toss it in the laundry basket– and tufts of wet hair get into his eyes. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to look for the key to open the door, because Chanyeol is waiting right behind it, swinging it open as soon as Baekhyun is there. He is holding a towel in one hand and he has that expectant look, with wide eyes and a faint smile on his face; Baekhyun wouldn’t be surprised if Chanyeol suddenly popped two puppy ears and a wagging tail. He sometimes finds Chanyeol waiting for him like this when he comes back, and he has to admit it feels somewhat nice to know that someone cares, that someone wants him to come back safely.

“How was your day?” he asks with interest, closing the door behind Baekhyun and offering him the towel as soon as he puts down his briefcase. Baekhyun accepts it gratefully, wiping his face and then throwing it on his hair.

“Not so great” he admits with a sigh. Chanyeol doesn’t say anything; he simply stands on the side, keeping him company. Baekhyun can’t guess why Chanyeol would want to stay with him when he is pouting, irritable and gloomy, but his presence is oddly comforting. The heat of the house surrounds Baekhyun and his cold cheeks warm up, just like the tips of his toes when he kicks off his shoes. He takes off his water stained jacket and he feels a bit better; his mood is still heavy and he feels tired from all that rain, but at least it smoothes around the edges and he relaxes a little. He is finally home and he won’t have to go out until tomorrow morning, when it will be sunny again. He thinks of going to the living room to give his daughter a kiss, but he glances down at his legs and changes his mind; his pants are messier than he thought, he should change out of them first. “I’ll go change” he mumbles halfheartedly, stepping inside the house.

Suddenly, Chanyeol engulfs him in a big hug, squishing Baekhyun’s face against his chest. Chanyeol is warm and he smells a bit like Lay and Baekhyun –they all use the same soap sometimes. Baekhyun only manages to catch his towel before it slips to the floor, still a little disoriented by the sudden move.

“You did great today, Baek” Chanyeol reassures him, caressing his back. His voice rumbles in his chest under Baekhyun’s ear and he smiles a little, hugging Chanyeol back. Slowly, he relaxes against Chanyeol, breathing calmly with his eyes closed. It feels like he is taking away some of Baekhyun tiredness, keeping him safe and giving him a moment all to himself to feel better. He’s like a big pillow shielding him from the world, banishing away his worries and making everything seem better. He feels much better; he really needed that hug.

“Thanks” Baekhyun mumbles, squeezing Chanyeol one last time before he lets go of him. He rushes upstairs to change out of his clothes and Chanyeol stays downstairs with Lay. He doesn’t take any unnecessary trouble, wearing loose sweatpants and a large t-shirt, combing his hair with his fingers only as he hops down the stairs and runs to the living room. It’s been one of the fastest routines he’s ever done and his mood feels very light compared to before, as if the person who came in through the door a while earlier was a stranger and not him.

“Honeycomb~ I’m back!” he calls, bursting into the living room and running to her side. He picks her up from the couch, where she had been playing with the pillows, and he hugs her tightly, kissing her cheeks. Chanyeol goes to the kitchen with a smile on his lips, giving them a moment. “How is my little bunny doing?” Baekhyun coos, patting her hair. He keeps his tone cheerful but he can tell something is off about her; she’s not giggling and mumbling excitedly like other times, opting to silently cling on him with a small smile.

“She’s been a bit nervous since this morning; I think it’s the weather” Chanyeol emerges from the kitchen after taking out of the fridge his most recent creation, a layered peanut butter and jam cake, perfect for this weather. It’s missing a few slices –they were served as their dessert after dinner last night, and they also gave some to Mrs. Kim for little Jongin who loves peanut butter and jelly. Baekhyun presses his lips thoughtfully; Lay doesn’t have any problems with the rain but she hates thunder, especially when it’s loud.

“We don’t like this weather much, do we?” he asks her, wrinkling his nose and shaking his head with her. Lay has such big, timid eyes when shaking her little head in denial.

“How about we set a tent here in the living room?” Chanyeol suggests cheerfully, walking closer to them with a hopeful smile. Baekhyun quirks a bewildered eyebrow at him; where are they supposed to find a tent, he hasn’t gone camping a day in his life. Besides, Lay doesn’t look in the mood to play much, let alone make up new games. “We can use bed sheets and pillows” the taller says. Lay doesn’t even glance at him, tucking her head in Baekhyun’s neck tiredly. Baekhyun pats her back and rocks her in his arms a bit for comfort; she is not very happy today. He looks at Chanyeol and then he glances down at Lay pointedly; it’s obvious she’s not interested. “It’ll be like a warm little space, where nothing bad can reach us” he tries to lure her; this time, Lay does blink his way. Baekhyun’s eyes widen; if course, that could work! If she can’t see the rain outside and they are all huddled close to each other in a small space where everything looks under control, safe and carefree, she’ll be less scared and more cheerful.

“That’s a good idea! What do you say, honeycomb?” Baekhyun encourages her and Chanyeol starts to smile. Lay lifts her head to look at them both pensively; she doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. But just then, the first loud thunder reverberates inside the house, sounding so close that it seems like the walls are shaking. Baekhyun flinches at the same time Lay screams in fear and starts crying, shriveling close to him and trying to hide in his arms. Baekhyun hugs her tightly, patting her back to calm her. “Shhh, it’s okay, it was just thunder outside, it’s okay” he mumbles soothingly, kissing her hair repeatedly while swaying her. She keeps whining with tears in her eyes, clinging on him and shaking in fear. Her mood all day is only making things worse now, because she’s inconsolable. More thunder roars outside and she starts sobbing, squirming in his hold to seek protection. Baekhyun’s heart hurts to see her so frightened, feeling her little heart beating painfully fast under his hand. “Aww, don’t be scared, sugar buns~ daddy is here” he nuzzles her ear and kisses her again, caressing her and humming. He hopes his affection will soothe her, because if she keeps crying like this, there will be two of them crying soon. Bright lightning strikes outside and Baekhyun holds her even tighter, prepared for the loud growl of the sky that makes the windows buzz. Lay flinches in his hold, her shoulders shaking and her voice rising, until it’s quiet again outside, and she pulls back from her hiding spot.

“Daddy!” she calls helplessly, twisting in Baekhyun’s hold. Baekhyun bites his lip in concern, feeling just as helpless as she is, and having half a mind to take her upstairs and hide under the covers with her until the storm is over. She doesn’t understand thunder and they have no way of explaining it to her in way she will understand; it must be terrifying for her.

“Yes, my little love? I’m right here” he reassures her, trying to make eye contact with her panicky, watery gaze. It’s confusing how she doesn’t meet his eyes, even though she has every chance to do so. Maybe she is too distraught.

“Daddy, daddy!” she calls again, this time twisting almost dangerously in Baekhyun’s hands. Baekhyun catches her swiftly, feeling extremely alarmed, and when he looks beyond her little quivering body, all he sees is Chanyeol, strangely enough. Chanyeol, who is standing quietly, watching them with an expression that paints all over his face how worried sick he is, with wide eyes and a trembling pout. His shoulders are slightly hunched in anxiousness and he looks pale. His wide eyes glance from Lay to Baekhyun and back to Lay restlessly, the rest of him seemingly frozen in shock. Baekhyun shakes his head in confusion.

But then he notices Lay.

The little girl is leaning away from Baekhyun, doing grabby hands at Chanyeol. Tears are running down her cheeks and she is crying loudly, arms extended towards the taller man, seeking out a protective embrace in desperation. She keeps calling for ‘daddy’ but her attention if firmly set on Chanyeol. Baekhyun feels like the lighting from outside just ran down his spine.

She is calling Chanyeol ‘daddy’.

Another loud thunder echoes in Baekhyun’s ears but he is too shocked to register the sound of it. Lay wails and tries to reach Chanyeol even harder, until the taller unfreezes, just when Baekhyun freezes, and he rushes closer, taking her in his arms from Baekhyun’s numb hold. Baekhyun watches dumbstruck while his child latches on Chanyeol, plastering herself against him and holding onto him with tight little fists, clinging to save her life.

“Whoa, okay, okay…” Chanyeol mumbles, still quite surprised with this predicament but also worried for the frightened little girl. He tries to soothe her just the same way Baekhyun did, caressing her and rubbing her back, letting her hide in his chest. Lay is still whining and crying, because the booming doesn’t stop; she hopes she can find safety by taking refuge in both her daddies’ arms. If they both hold her, she will be safer. Baekhyun watches his child, speechless. His heart cracks a little.

“How….?” He chokes out, but the lump in his throat suffocates the rest of his words. His stomach drops as he lifts his eyes to look at Chanyeol, and the rain keeps falling outside.

“I don’t know either” Chanyeol admits quietly, his voice straining with emotions which are struggling to stay afloat in the midst of his surprise. He looks just as clueless as Baekhyun, his large eyes searching Baekhyun’s gaze for answers that are not there. How did this happen? What does it mean? What are they going to do now? Lay’s cries and thunder don’t reach their ears, which are ringing after this revelation. Chanyeol’s expression slowly turns pained, his eyes apologetic; he looks on the verge of tears. He reaches out one hand and holds onto a fistful at the hem of Baekhyun’s shirt pleadingly. “Baekhyun, I’m sorry…” he says quietly, concerned and breathless.

Baekhyun swallows the lump in his throat and shakes his head; it’s not Chanyeol’s fault, there is nothing to apologize for. Chanyeol didn’t ask for this; Baekhyun didn’t either. It’s something that’s done now, however, and the child still needs them. They can try to solve this puzzle after she won’t be scared anymore.

“Just hold her, we’ll figure this out later” he mumbles, focusing on Lay, patting her back and caressing her hair. She calms down much faster when she has both Chanyeol and him.

The storm eases into silent rainfall after some time, and Lay seems more peaceful. As time passes, she even turns chirpy and playful. Neither of the adults shares her optimism, watching her play with her toys and smiling at her with effort. Their minds are crowded with questions and thoughts, but no one dares voice them out. They hardly speak to each other, exchanging only necessary words for dinner or anything else. It’s never been so quiet around the table while they’re eating. Lay finds it really strange; the grownups won’t even look at each other in the eye. Baekhyun’s gaze always stops on Chanyeol’s lips, unable to move further, as if he has a physical restriction which forbids him to look at his eyes. Chanyeol’s eyes always focus on Baekhyun’s ear or his neck or his hair instead of his eyes, missing the target, as if his gaze needs to be recalibrated. When they decide to bathe her and put her to sleep to wrap up the day, it becomes apparent that they’re very awkward with each other.

“Daddy~” Lay singsongs, giving one of her duckies to Baekhyun; her daddy is not playing with the bubbles today and he is not making any funny noises, so maybe he wants a toy. Baekhyun accepts the toy with a faint smile, his eyes swarming with bittersweet thoughts. How can one word bring so much trouble? How can it look so pretty on Chanyeol and yet make Baekhyun feel so guilty? What is he going to do; this can’t go on. Chanyeol has already stared avoiding him, standing as far as he can while they’re giving Lay a bath. Baekhyun never wanted things to be this way, even though he might have secretly wished at some point that someday Lay will call Chanyeol daddy too. Oh my god, how could he? He blushes at the thought. Lay picks up another of her duckies from the tub. “Daddy~” she singsongs like before, only this time she offers it to Chanyeol.

“No, Lay” Chanyeol accepts the toy so that he won’t hurt her feelings, but he shakes his head sadly. He twirls the toy in his hands with a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and then he sends it floating back to Lay. Baekhyun takes a deep breath, the familiar sting of tears appearing behind his eyes inexplicably. Of course Chanyeol wouldn’t want this. It feels like he is returning more than just a toy to her. “This is daddy. I’m Chanyeol, your Chanyeol” he explains, trying to smile at her again. Lay frowns thoughtfully and turns to Baekhyun.

“Daddy?” she asks; Baekhyun gulps and smiles a little.

“Yes, honeycomb” he encourages her, but she doesn’t babble anything at him. She keeps staring at him for a bit, and then she turns to Chanyeol with a serious face.

“Daddy.” It’s not a question this time. A chip of Baekhyun’s heart falls off. Chanyeol sighs.

“She’s tired. We’ll try this again tomorrow” he reassures Baekhyun and maybe himself too. Baekhyun only nods, not knowing what to say or how to look at Chanyeol. He’s tired too; maybe it’s for the better if they talk to her tomorrow.

It’s the first night Baekhyun and Chanyeol sleep on their sides of the bed each, without touching each other at all throughout the night.

--

Chanyeol keeps staring. He will not lose.

He’s sitting right across from Lay, who is perched securely on her highchair. It’s snack time, but they are having it at the dining table today, because Chanyeol wanted to discuss something important with her –she needs to understand it’s as crucial as choosing an ice cream flavor– and he needs her full attention, which would be impossible if they were anywhere near her toys. He sliced a peach for her –Baekhyun seems to have a never-ending supply of them– but she’d rather stare at him than eat it for now. They are in the middle of a serious staring competition, silence stretching eerily inside the house. For a one-year-old, she is doing pretty good, if he may say so.

“Chanyeol. Can you say my name? Chan~ Yeol~” he tries, for the third time since this conversation started, introducing his name in a singsong voice to make it more appealing, and smiling widely, trying to lure her. Lay blinks at him impassively. There are definitely Baekhyun’s stubborn genes in her.

“Daddy.” She answers calmly –just like she did the previous two times. Chanyeol whines pitifully but she doesn’t pay him any heed, picking her blunt children’s fork and chasing the small pieces of fruit on her plate. Chanyeol watches her closely, feeling like a kicked puppy. Why is she ignoring him? It’s obvious she understands what he is trying to tell her, so why does she keep choosing to overlook his instructions so pointedly?

After yesterday’s events, he and Baekhyun agreed that they’d talk to her today. Last night was one of the most awkward, cold and lonely nights Chanyeol has ever had. He wanted to hug Baekhyun so bad and tell him that everything will be okay, but how could he say that, when things are obviously not okay? This wasn’t supposed to happen; at least, not now! Of course he had hoped someday she’d call him daddy, after he and her actual daddy would have sorted through their feelings –and would have, preferably, come to an agreement that they should be together as something more than friends, because honestly Chanyeol doesn’t feel like he belongs anywhere else and he doesn’t think that will ever change. He’s wanted this for the past three years –and dreamt of it all the previous years of his life– even though he has never said it, because he can’t. Even now, he can’t.

Chanyeol feels like it’s his fault they’ve come to this. He has devoted his heart to Baekhyun, that much is a fact, but he should have been more clear with his intensions. All this time, he’s been living the dream like the luckiest man alive, without a care in the world. He’s been the happiest he’s ever been, giving love to Baekhyun and his daughter –and perhaps he gave too much, and now they’re here. Baekhyun doesn’t blame him; he says she’s a child, things like that happen sometimes. They talked about it this morning; it was very awkward and every sentence they spoke felt incomplete, but they managed to come to terms with it for now. Everything goes better if they work as a team, and that’s what they agreed to do. Chanyeol is so thankful he doesn’t have to keep his eyes on the ground in shame in front of Baekhyun anymore.

He almost gets sidetracked by the way she’s focusing on her food cutely, swinging her legs in excitement and making a small mess which she loves to be proud of afterwards.

“How about you call me ‘uncle’ or ‘oppa’?” he attempts, just in case his name seems too difficult for her little tongue. He leans toward her hopefully, focusing on her stained little lips and waiting for her next words like they’re a mad man’s salvation. Lay wiggles on her chair, eyeing the peach slices in front of her.

“Daddy~” she sings, suddenly looking up and smiling at him with all her four teeth. Something in his chest rips at the sweetness of her gesture. But she can’t be calling him daddy, even though his wishful thinking begs to disagree. ‘Daddy’ is a sacred word which should be used by her only for Baekhyun, because Baekhyun deserves her, he’s the right person for her, while Chanyeol…well, Chanyeol is trying to become a person who’d deserve Baekhyun. Chanyeol sighs and his shoulders deflate. It seems he stands little chance against the stubborn Byun genes. She giggles, finding his misery amusing, and then she goes back to her snack.

“I know you understand everything. Why are you doing this?” he pouts helplessly but he is ignored. She hums thoughtfully when a fruit slice gets obliterated due to her zealous stabbing; Chanyeol’s bribe –or peace offering, depending on your point of view– doesn’t seem to be working in his favor very well. But he won’t surrender just yet. Chanyeol scoots closer, sitting on the edge of his chair and leaning over the table, so that his small, encouraging smile may be in her peripheral vision. “At least call me Channie?” he asks in a cute voice. Lay looks at him with wide eyes. Will she finally…

“Daddy!”

Chanyeol chokes on a whimper. Hopeless, this is hopeless.

“Am I interrupting something?” Baekhyun’s voice comes from the doorway and Chanyeol whips his head around to find said person leaning against the doorframe, with a confused frown between his eyebrows. They haven’t had steady, direct eye contact like this since yesterday and Chanyeol feels distraught it’s happening all of a sudden.

“Baekhyun, you’re back!” he gasps and his cheeks pink, realizing that Baekhyun has witnessed at least some part of his rather embarrassing conversation with the toddler. He knew Baekhyun would come home early today, since he had very specific things to do at work and he had already estimated he’d be done with them sooner than usual, but he hadn’t expected him to come back so soon. Baekhyun looks like he’s in a better mood than last night and very casual, nothing like his awkward fidgeting this morning. He waves a dismissive hand.

“Yes, but don’t mind me; this is interesting” he says, eying both Chanyeol and his daughter with curiosity and interest –and maybe a slight bit of reprimand for being left out. Lay explodes in fast-paced babbling nonsense; very expressive, however. Her expressions and gestures try to explain her intonation, and it’s endearing really, how she struggles with language, but both adults frown when she starts pointing at Chanyeol insistently, calling him ‘daddy’ again and again during her speech.

((Daddy, thank the pink flowers you’re back! Daddy keeps trying to make me say strange names. I don’t want to call him strange names. I want to call him daddy, like you! I won’t be confused, I promise! Do I have to teach him his name, like when I get new teddy bears? Oh, I can do that! Hey, daddy, look at me! You’re daddy, okay? Daddy!))

“No, I am Chanyeol” Chanyeol tries again, clutching his chest pleadingly. He is looking right into her eyes; which means he gets a startlingly clear view when her expression changes to annoyance, her eyebrows meeting over her eyes menacingly, her lips pouting in irritation and her cheeks tinting pink. She looks like a little bubbling pot about to overflow.

“DADDY!” she yells in a final tone, kicking the air and pointing an imperative finger at him. Baekhyun rushes to soothe her while she’s still early into her unexpected tantrum, before it gets out of hand. Chanyeol can’t believe it has come to this.

“I give up.” he sighs and slumps against the table in defeat.

--

For the rest of the week, every time Lay calls for daddy, a shiver of dread runs down Baekhyun’s and Chanyeol’s spines. She calls them equally and she sounds pretty much the same on every occasion, without any distinct sign for each of them. She is always very sure about which one of them she’s calling though. Sometimes, Chanyeol has to call Baekhyun from the kitchen where he’s cooking, and other times, Baekhyun has to fetch Chanyeol from the study where he is composing. It feels awkward for both, no matter how many times they do it. They have yet to find a way to explain it to her.

If they’re all in the same room, they have to look at her to figure out which one she is calling, and then they always exchange a mirroring awkward gaze, which the child can’t understand. The chosen one answers the little girl, while the other blushes and wishes to disappear, each for their own reasons. But they don’t even think of changing habits; Chanyeol is still sleeping in Baekhyun’s bed, Baekhyun is still cooking dinner for three. No matter how uncomfortable this predicament makes them feel, they don’t want to change their sweet little reality, and that’s an unspoken consensus between them.

Every time she calls them, they don’t notice that their behavior encourages Lay to call them both ‘daddy’ more often. In her head, it is progress that they’re both learning to respond accordingly; it’s much more convenient that way. They don’t notice that their awkward gazes last too long to be simply flustered. They both have words that need to be said lingering on the seam of their lips, and it takes just those moments to hesitate and keep silent. They don’t notice that the one who is not busy with the child looks longingly at the other. Not because of jealousy, but because they wish that the moment wasn’t stolen, that they could enjoy its warmth without any guilt or insecurities.

It’s late on Friday evening, and Baekhyun hopes to avoid the routine tantrum; Lay doesn’t like having her nails cut and she makes sure to cry and scream her dislike loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but it needs to be done. At least the task has become more bearable ever since Chanyeol joined his team.

Baekhyun watches from the side after cleaning up the bathroom swiftly, waiting silently while Chanyeol is dressing Lay in her pink baby doll, finishing up her after-bath routine. He loves fawning over his daughter, but sometimes he likes giving Chanyeol a moment with her even more. Lay keeps squirming and babbling things, having a long discussion with the man hovering over her, giggling or laughing whenever Chanyeol pecks her cheeks or nuzzles her tummy playfully. They are both glowing contentedly, basking in each other’s attention. Chanyeol’s fingers are magnetized by her, always busy touching her; Baekhyun knows from experience how cuddly his daughter is after a bath, and he smiles widely, watching Chanyeol fall under her spell.

Lay is cooperative and agreeable when Chanyeol scoops her in his arms, but her expression turns confused and then anxious when he leads her to the corner of the bathroom by the sink instead of her room. He half-sits on the marble counter, just enough to have space in his lap to settle her. She gives him a betrayed look, which sits very funnily on her small features.

“Mochi, I know you know what’s going on” Chanyeol tells her in a serious yet soft voice. Baekhyun moves closer unnoticed, since Lay and Chanyeol have eyes only to stare at each other sternly. He has to suppress a laugh when Lay hides her little hands between her legs and shakes her head in denial, still looking at Chanyeol straight in the eye. This is usually the point when all the screaming and stubborn fighting starts. Baekhyun braces himself with patience and determination.

Then, unexpectedly, Chanyeol tilts his head to the side and pouts at her.

“Please?” he pleads, blinking at her cutely –Baekhyun’s eyes widen is surprise momentarily and his heart throbs. He is guilt-tripping her into cooperating? Lay fidgets a bit and glances at Baekhyun uncertainly. She is visibly torn between the fear of cutting her nails and her consideration for Chanyeol. She keeps looking at him guiltily and Chanyeol’s hand, which is wrapped around her back, starts rubbing her sides gently. “Give your hand to daddy” he says calmly, and Baekhyun gets ready. Chanyeol can smooth talk anyone into anything –but he’s too scared to cut Lay’s nails by himself, believe it or not. She pouts, her eyes never leaving Chanyeol’s, but she lifts a trembling little hand, offering it uneasily…to Chanyeol.

A long moment of frozen silence passes.

Why, honeycomb?

Lay blinks confusedly when Chanyeol doesn’t take her hand as she had expected; if you ask her, she is doing exactly what she’s been told like a good girl, giving her hand to daddy. It’s her new pet name for Chanyeol. Baekhyun wails internally.

He exchanges a look with Chanyeol, who looks just as panicked and apologetic as the first time it happened. He looks so lost that Baekhyun’s protective side pushes him into action. He takes Lay’s hand wordlessly, flashing a fleeting, reassuring smile at them both, before he starts clipping her nails. That fleeting smile needs words, he can’t help but think. I need to tell him. Lay looks wary and frightened tears are welling in her eyes, but she is brave enough not to cry. Chanyeol unfreezes gradually and he starts petting her and mumbling encouragements, keeping her peaceful while Baekhyun works. Lay mumbles a few things too, but Baekhyun stays silent until they finish.

“Thank you, honeycomb” he coos, taking her in his arms. She hugs him tightly, burying her face against his neck and mumbling sleepily. Baekhyun hugs her closer, his heart melting and his head swarming with thoughts.

After they put her to sleep they exchange very few words, Chanyeol showers first and goes to bed, looking just as thoughtful as Baekhyun. He falls asleep soon so, by the time Baekhyun finishes showering and gets into bed, Chanyeol is already asleep, curled on his side, facing away from Baekhyun. His feet are a little cold without Chanyeol near him, but Baekhyun gets little sleep that night either way –thank god tomorrow is Saturday. To be honest, he had expected his insomnia, so he doesn’t even pretend to be attempting to find sleep, he doesn’t toss and turn. He lies on his back under the covers, counting Chanyeol’s breaths, wide awake and staring at the ceiling, using it as an imaginary canvas to unravel his thoughts, which are all about the recent ‘daddy’ phenomenon.

At first, Baekhyun thought his daughter is confused. She spends a lot of time with Chanyeol and Baekhyun is the only other person she sees so much, which must mean Chanyeol is like another daddy, right? Moreover, whenever they are all together, they do things as a family, so maybe she’s only trying to find a place for Chanyeol in that context. Or maybe, she is trying to tell him something; that she wants Chanyeol to be part of the family, because it feels more complete and fun and safe that way. There is no way Baekhyun can deny the love between the man and his daughter –and truthfully, there is no way he can deny his love for the man either. He thinks of the time they’ve spent together, Lay, Baekhyun and Chanyeol. How can he explain to his daughter that this is wrong, when it feels so right for him too?

By the time day breaks, Baekhyun’s eyelids are heavy and his head hurts a little. Chanyeol stirs after a long time, throwing one arm over Baekhyun’s middle section and finally crawling closer in his sleep, sharing some of his warmth. Baekhyun falls asleep then, having made up his mind.

--

The next morning, Baekhyun takes them to the park. It’s unusual for Baekhyun to suggest they leave the comfort of their house on a Saturday morning, the laziest of them all, but Chanyeol cooperates without any protest, except for a surprised quirk of his eyebrow. He knows Baekhyun too well to miss his unexpectedly joyful mood today but he chooses to enjoy it without any remark. Lay is delighted once she realizes they’re going out; Chanyeol dresses her and prepares her bag of necessities while Baekhyun prepares the rest downstairs, remembering to throw into the bag a few toys for her, a bottle of water and, of course, snacks. The weather is sunny and comfortably warm outside, birds chirping in the trees and fluffy, light clouds travelling in the sky up above.

Baekhyun is in a very bright mood, humming under his breath while driving them to their destination. Abandoning his pillow so early on a Saturday is considered high treason, but just look at him doing it so willingly; some things in life might never be explained. Chanyeol seems to be feeling a little uncharacteristically lazy today though, hiding behind a large peach sweater over his black jeans. He doesn’t complain at all, however, gazing at the view from the passenger’s seat; he’s more quiet and thoughtful than usual, which clashes with Baekhyun’s cheerful mood here and there, but the latter finds him so cuddly-looking today, with his pastel, oversized sweater and ruffled black hair, that he can’t hold anything against him. Besides, he’d been sharing Chanyeol’s mood for the past week, so it makes sense to him; if anything, it’s his own inexplicably high spirits that he can’t understand.

He takes them to the same spot Chanyeol took them a while ago, when Baekhyun was feeling under the weather. They settle under the same tree, the scenery looking nearly the same, except for the people who have gathered in the park this time. It’s much more lively today, with families having picnics and children playing on the grass, with puppies having their morning walkies in the park and couples strolling in the sunlight. It’s a beautiful day to be out and about, and Baekhyun feels very content to be here, sitting under the shade and basking in the summer breeze, with Chanyeol sitting beside him and Lay playing close to them. It’s almost as nice as cuddling with Chanyeol in bed in the early morning sunlight. Baekhyun feels feather light today, his smile never leaving his lips.

In spite of being more timid than usual, Chanyeol still plays with Lay’s ponies and does peek-a-boo with her, making her giggle every time. Baekhyun watches them, smiling from the sidelines; he feels all the more convinced he has come to the right decision since last night. When it’s snack time, he takes out the pieces of simple vanilla milk cake he has packed; it’s one of Lay’s favorites, because she’s allowed to eat a whole slice –since it doesn’t contain much sugar– and she can eat it without any help or spoons! She claps happily when she sees it, her eyes sparkling while nibbling on the small piece in her hands; Baekhyun and Chanyeol watch her for a while, with matching fond smiles on their lips. Even though there are two pieces of cake remaining in the container, they end up sharing both instead of picking one each for themselves. Lay returns to her toys and Baekhyun lies down, half on the tablecloth they’ve laid on the ground and half on the grass, enjoying the tender sunlight on his skin.

“Daddy!” Lay calls at some point, abandoning her toys and crawling near Baekhyun with a concerned frown, using his leg as a guide to find the rest of him. Baekhyun looks down at her instantly and Chanyeol stops staring at the horizon pensively and focuses on her too –it’s become a reflex by now, whenever she calls.

“What is it, honeycomb?” Baekhyun asks her, sitting up, and the little child shows him her hand, blinking up at him worriedly. Baekhyun takes her hand into his to examine it for any insect bites or cuts, and he finds a tiny little scratch on her pointer finger, which she got while playing near the grass. It’s probably annoying her more than causing pain, and Baekhyun inwardly sighs in relief. “Aww, it’s not so bad, is it?” he says with an optimistic smile, cleaning the scratch carefully with a baby wipe dunked in water. “There, it’ll be gone before you know it” he reassures her with a wide smile, returning her hand to her. Lay looks at it with her big eyes for a moment, and then she extends it to him again.

“Chu~” she sings with an expectant expression. Baekhyun squeals in his head; she looks so cute! Even Chanyeol’s lips curve into a smile.

“Of course I’ll kiss it better” he chuckles, bringing her small fingers to his lips and pecking them, to take away the pain. Lay lights up with a smile to thank him, and then, instead of crawling back to her toys to play, she shuffles closer to Chanyeol. She stares up at him, extending her ‘injured’ hand to him.

“What is it, mochi? It’s going to be all better soon!” Chanyeol reassures her smilingly, even though he looks a bit bewildered by her behavior. Lay tilts her head to the side, keeping her hand held out for him.

“Daddy, chu~” she asks, making puppy eyes at him. Chanyeol’s smile freezes on his lips, his whole body turning visibly tense. He glances up at Baekhyun awkwardly, not knowing what to do; he doesn’t want to disappoint the girl but he doesn’t want to discomfort Baekhyun either. Fortunately, Baekhyun doesn’t think the same on the subject as he did yesterday, and he has made up his mind; so he doesn’t return the awkward stare and the uncertainty. He nods at Chanyeol to go for it without hesitation, and the taller pecks the little girl’s fingers immediately after he gets permission –indirect kiss, indirect kiss, indire-stop it, brain! Chanyeol grins at the pleased girl, who mumbles something unintelligible and goes back to her toys happily. Chanyeol, on the other hand, sighs and his smile falls.

“I’m sorry, Baek. I feel really guilt for this” he apologizes quietly, lowering his eyes to the ground. His shoulders are dropped in resignation and his head hangs forward, a sad and apprehensive pout settling on his lips. He looks so miserable it breaks your heart. Baekhyun takes a deep breath to prepare; this is the moment he has been waiting for. He will finally say this.

“But I don’t mind” he says gently, looking at Chanyeol with a hopeful look, even though the taller doesn’t dare look at him. Please understand, Yeol. He should have said these words days ago. He really doesn’t mind. Even before he realized that Chanyeol is perhaps the only other person in the world who would deserve to be called her daddy, that he is a good person and a good daddy, that Baekhyun shouldn’t be fighting something he wants in the first place even though the circumstances are not ideal, he didn’t mind every time Lay called Chanyeol daddy. He was surprised but not upset; after the first few times, it even seemed natural to him. So, last night he decided he should finally tell Chanyeol; today. He doesn’t want this tension between them keeping them apart anymore, he doesn’t want Chanyeol to regret it because he thinks Baekhyun is offended, and he doesn’t want to make it stop; it suits Chanyeol just fine.

“That doesn’t make sense” Chanyeol mumbles stubbornly, frowning at his shoes. It would make sense if you looked at me! If you could understand how I look at you…If only Chanyeol could see how he’s the one making Baekhyun’s world colorful and bright and warm, a happy place to live in…

“It does…” Baekhyun insists, shuffling closer to Chanyeol until he is sitting right beside him. He leans forward and to the side, trying to bring himself in Chanyeol’s line of sight, even though the taller does his best not to look at him and keeps staring at the ground. Baekhyun wiggles ever closer and leans even further; he feels a bit ridiculous, like a puppy desperately seeking for its master’s face, but it’s worth it when Chanyeol finally glances at him and Baekhyun flashes a smile the moment they make eye contact. “…because it’s you” he says, his voice calm and his smile curling his lips to the point his eyesmiles appear.

“I don’t follow…” Chanyeol quirks his eyebrows in confusion, unconvinced and bewildered; he’s the fluffiest thing when he’s pouting like a child. He straightens his back and looks up at last, and Baekhyun unfolds himself from the uncomfortable position he had to keep until now, so he looks at Chanyeol in the eyes comfortably, his smile dimming to let his eyes open earnestly. He has Chanyeol’s full attention now and he’s going to say this right.

“There is no other person I’d rather she called daddy too, except for you” he says each word slowly and clearly, and he means them with all his heart. There is a moment of silence and he feels very open and vulnerable, but he doesn’t shy away and he keeps his gaze locked with Chanyeol’s. He observes the emotions on his face; confusion, surprise, shock, daze, hope, twinkles, relief, joy, happiness, smile, big smile. Baekhyun smiles too, happy, without any second thoughts. Chanyeol’s eyes suddenly glaze over, as if he’s about to cry.

“Baek…” he chokes past his smiling lips and in the next moment, Baekhyun finds himself tackled to the ground, coughing in surprise and staring at the tree leaves above them, with a very heavy Chanyeol sprawled on top of him.

“Ompf” he groans, but his smile doesn’t falter; on the contrary, he likes being suddenly swarmed with Chanyeol’s scent, feeling his warmth, holding him close as they lie on the ground and smiling in his hair. Chanyeol is excited, hugging Baekhyun so tight it’s almost hard to breathe with the added weight on his lungs and the vice grip around his middle section, and he is mumbling ‘sorry, thank you, thank you so much, thank you’ like a prayer on Baekhyun’s skin, nuzzling his face in the crook of Baekhyun’s neck. It tickles. Baekhyun pats Chanyeol’s broad back reassuringly, gleeful that the tension has finally disappeared between them –alongside with the concept of personal space. “If not you, who else?” he chirps, chuckling when Chanyeol gets even more shy and tries to hide even more in his neck.

--

It’s a Thursday. Nothing good ever happens on a Thursday. And on this particular Thursday, Baekhyun’s mother decided to surprise him with a visit.

Hell.

Nothing was prepared; the house was kind of messy because Lay had been very active today, the laundry was piled up because Baekhyun forgot to do it this afternoon, the fridge was nearly empty because they usually go shopping late on Thursday evenings, and Chanyeol was playing with Lay in the middle of the living room, turning her into an airplane. His mother couldn’t have picked a worse time to walk in.

They managed to tide up the common areas swiftly –two are much better than one for the job– and Baekhyun transferred the laundry pile to the study room, where she wouldn’t have a reason to step into. It wasn’t ten minutes after she had arrived that Lay called Chanyeol ‘daddy’ in front of her, so they had to explain that too –kind of. Chanyeol kept his eyes on the ground with a furious blush on his cheeks and Baekhyun very briefly mentioned that yeah, she calls Chanyeol daddy too sometimes, and that was the end of that story. Not their brightest moment. Anyway, his mother stayed for a while and ended up extending her visit to have dinner with them as well. Chanyeol managed to whip up a recipe with the bare essentials they had in the cupboards for dinner –he was the one to invite her, after all. Baekhyun swears that sometimes he’s too nice for his own good.

The food was impressively decent but dinner was horrible. His mother was very quiet or ironic, on the few times she opened to speak, she was glaring at Baekhyun across from her and he is sure she took a hundred mental notes while Lay was eating so that she can criticize him for his parenting skills later; he could see it in her eyes. Baekhyun felt very awkward when he was feeding her under the scrutiny of his mother’s hawk eyes. Chanyeol’s heroic efforts to make dinner more bearable for everyone, with agreeable conversation and polite remarks, all fell through. Baekhyun felt bad for him, watching his mother being mean to him, and yet Chanyeol never stopped trying; his smile faltered in disappointment a couple of times, but he renewed his optimism every time.

Baekhyun wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole.

“Baekhyun, can I have a word?” his mother asks from the living room, where she’s been watching Lay play while Baekhyun and Chanyeol were doing the dishes together. Baekhyun snarls at the sink; how can she be so rude? She’s practically excusing Chanyeol from the conversation, even though he doubts there is any real reason to do that. She just wants to make him feel like he doesn’t belong here, and who is she to do that in Baekhyun’s house? He is about to snap but a warm hand rests on his waist, and Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol, forgetting his ire momentarily.

“It’s okay, we’ll go play upstairs” he says calmly, looking into Baekhyun’s eyes reassuringly. Baekhyun blinks at him helplessly and opens his mouth to protest, because Chanyeol doesn’t really have to go –Baekhyun doesn’t want him to go– but Chanyeol’s other hand squeezes Baekhyun’s wrist to keep him quiet. “You know where to find us” he presses, giving him a good look. Baekhyun pouts and deflates like a defeated child; he gets the message. Behave. Chanyeol grins but Baekhyun returns puppy eyes at him; he has to try and be nice now, doesn’t he?

They happened to discuss Baekhyun’s relationship with his mother the other day, and how it’s a lot less than perfect after Lay came into Baekhyun’s life. Chanyeol seems to understand the cause of soreness between them, but he told him he really wishes that Baekhyun would find a way to improve things between him and his mother, because he thinks it’s worth the effort. It’s probably why he puts up with her too, in spite of her cold and rude behavior. How could Baekhyun refuse him when he knows Chanyeol lost his mother when he was young?

“Mochi~ let’s go read a story, hm?” Chanyeol chirps with a big smile, leaving Baekhyun to stand alone in front of the sink –why does it feel like gravity is changing the further away Chanyeol walks from him?–, and passing by his mother with a polite nod. His mother raises an eyebrow and watches him in disdain as he picks up Lay from the play mat, carrying the excited child to the stairs. Chanyeol is not deterred from Mrs. Byun’s reaction, and he keeps talking to Lay cheerfully. “We haven’t finished the princess and the swans, have we? Do you remember the swans? With their big, white wings…” his animated voice grows distant and disappears upstairs, leaving mother and son in absolute silence for a few long moments.

“He’s just like you” is the first thing she says, spitting it out like an insult –even though he can see nothing wrong with Chanyeol treating Lay as if she were his own beloved child. She looks at him with a familiar, judgmental look in her brown eyes, which Baekhyun chooses to ignore, in favor of being a better person. He looks back at her calmly.

“I wouldn’t think so” he says composedly. Unfortunately, he can’t agree with her entirely; they might be similar around Lay, in the way they act and think and make decisions, but Chanyeol is also different from him. How else would they manage to complete each other? But he doesn’t want to contradict her too strongly, and upset her to the point she’ll start badmouthing Chanyeol, because that will be the end of civilized behavior on his part as well. He will not allow anyone to speak ill of a person so important to him, who has done nothing but offer more than anyone could have ever asked for in the first place. His mother throws her arms in the air in frustration.

“And she calls him daddy! Daddy?! How could you, Baekhyun?” she accuses, walking closer. Baekhyun knew that accusation would be hurled at him at some point; she didn’t seem to like it when Lay called Chanyeol daddy the first time, nor the rest that followed, and she seemed very unhappy with his explanation too. She wouldn’t be happy no matter what he could have said; she’s hardly come to terms with Lay calling Baekhyun daddy, let alone anyone else. It’s not her decision to make, however, and Baekhyun won’t apologize for it. Her expression is a mixture of horror and disgust, and it’s already starting to touch sensitive nerves. The people who know you best can hurt you the most, and Baekhyun has found out about it the hard way. But he keeps himself under control; he promised Chanyeol he’d try to be nice.

“I don’t-”

“I know what sort of person you are, and I understand” she interrupts him, giving him a condescending look. Baekhyun gapes in confusion for a moment; is this about his partner preferences again? How many times do they have to talk about him being a gay, single dad? She says she understands him every time, but she never shows it. And that superior look on her face is simply outraging. “Your father and I have accepted you, haven’t we? We let you live your life in any way you wanted. And when your sister decided to give you her daughter –heavens know why–, it was a shock for us…but we relented. The only thing we want for her is to be raised properly”

“I am raising her properly!” he interjects, his voice getting louder in frustration. How could she even imply such a thing? Baekhyun is not only offended but also hurt, because it’s coming from his own mother. She glares daggers at him nonetheless.

“I think not, young man!” she yells back at him, and then she starts making her point with patronizing gestures and grimaces of disapproval, pacing around the space; no child should ever suffer through such criticism from their mother, and yet, for Baekhyun, this is not the first time it happens. “Look at you, struggling to make ends meet, cluelessly striving with parenthood! You have not raised children before; you can’t even hold your tears when she’s crying, like a weakling! And instead of accepting my offer to take Lay off your hands, to raise her like a lady, like I raised her mother, you’re being stubborn and ungrateful!” she jabs a finger in his direction and Baekhyun can feel it pierce through his heart. She always comes back to this.

“She trusted her with me!” he presses his fingers against his aching chest, pleading with his eyes that she will understand. No matter how many times he says this, how many times he cries and shouts, she never gets it. It was his late sister’s choice, for better or for worse; why can’t their mother accept it? It’s been more than a year and he still has to defend himself. “I’m always grateful for your help and your advice, but you need to understand that Lay is my child now. She knew I had no parenting experience and no great fortune, but she trusted me nonetheless!” he explains for the umpteenth time, his eyes stinging with tears. He knows he’s not perfect, but he’s doing his best, okay? He might never be perfect, but he’ll never stop trying either, because Lay deserves a good father and a good home and a good life. His mother scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“What did she know-”

“She knew I’d love this child!” he exclaims, tears finally overflowing and making his vision blurry and his breath uneven, but he doesn’t care. “She knew that I’d always smile at her when she wakes up and sing to her when she’s happy; that I’d always kiss her goodnight and watch over her dreams; that I’d hug her when she’s scared and cheer her on when she needs me; that I’d cry with her pain and teach her to be strong and kind; that I would give her a happy life, and that she’d feel safe and loved, always. She knew I’d love her and I do. It should have been a difficult choice to make, but she made it so easily, and maybe you and I and the rest of the world can’t understand it very well, but I trust her and I believed in her, and I will respect her choice to the last of my days” he brings a hand to his lips, sobbing quietly and feeling dizzy, but also proud of himself for saying this. He closes his eyes for a moment but he can’t find his composure, and he ends up choking on his breath, but his words come out loud and clear. “She is my daughter, mom”

If there’s one thing Baekhyun knows in his life, it’s that Lay is his daughter, his child.

“People like you don’t have children” his mother hisses, uncaring that he’s grasping on straws to keep from breaking down. It’s another blow, and Baekhyun feels his stomach turning with all its contents. People like him? He looks at his mother shocked and wounded, but she just goes on to say her part, to hurt him ever more. “Or did you think you could ever have one with that man you have upstairs? He’s living with you now, isn’t he? Are you sharing the same bed too? And your ‘daughter’, my grandchild, calls him daddy –good lord! You are entitled to your preferences, Baekhyun, but you are not allowed to ruin her life; what example are you giving her?” Okay, that’s enough. She can say anything she wants about him, but he will not tolerate her doubting the person he loves or the love Baekhyun is giving to his child every moment he is alive.

“My sister always knew exactly what ‘sort of person’ I am, and she never once considered it to be my fault” he snarls at his mother hostilely, even through his tears. She gives him a surprised look, and Baekhyun takes a breath to calm his blood rushing to his head dangerously; he’s gradually turning desperate. “She would never tell me to go against my heart. The example I’m giving her is a warm and loving home; Chanyeol adores Lay and he completes our happiness, if only you could see-”

“I don’t want to see!” his mother screams so loud that it echoes in the house. Baekhyun is stunned; she hasn’t shouted so loud in a while. She starts yelling at him, messing and pulling her hair in frustration, her eyes glazing over dangerously and the veins on the temples throbbing. “I want to see her, can you do that?! I want to see her smiling at her daughter, holding her, kissing her! I want to teach her how to raise her little girl and see my daughter as a happy mother; do you think anything else could mean such happiness to me?! No matter what you do and how much you love Lay, you’ll never be her. Nothing, no man or woman, can replace her; she was destined to complete this little child’s life the moment she became her mother” her hands are shaking and the first tears are rolling down her cheeks, anger and sadness mixing inside her into a bitter poison; she wants her child back. Baekhyun understands. What he cannot understand, is how she can be so cruel; there is one more child who needs her right in front of her, but she’s treating him like her worst enemy, and now she says “Why did it have to be her?” She covers her face with her hands, sobbing into her palms and collapsing on a chair.

Baekhyun feels like the world falls silent in that moment and an arrow pierces right through his heart.

“And what about me…?” he whispers under his breath, feeling so betrayed and helpless, like the ground has disappeared from under his feet and he’s left spinning out of orbit. His mother doesn’t hear him, naturally, and perhaps she needs a shoulder to cry on right now, but Baekhyun can’t stay here. He loves her but he can’t stay; because it feels like she doesn’t love him. He knows it’s not true but he can’t help but feel lightheaded and tired and stuffy, and there’s so much pain inside him. He has to go.

He can’t even see straight as he runs to the stairs, stumbling his way up with wobbly knees, and feeling so dizzy like he’s floating, but it’s not a good feeling. He feels like he might float away from everything he loves and it’s terrifying. He doesn’t know where he’s planning to go until he trips past the door to Lay’s room; his vision is unclear but he manages to make out Chanyeol, sitting on the floor, and Lay, playing with her toys by herself on the other side of the room. It’s hard to miss Chanyeol’s flinch when he sees Baekhyun approaching.

“Baek, is everything-” he starts, voice heavily laced with concern, but he doesn’t get to finish and Baekhyun doesn’t bother to answer something so obvious. He’s a wreck, broken and desperate and so dangerously close to disappearing into the void. He staggers to Chanyeol and collapses on him, his body feeling limp and heavy, but he still finds the strength to cling on him for dear life.

“Please, Yeol, please” he mumbles endlessly in between his sobs, tears staining Chanyeol’s shirt fast, as Baekhyun hides his face in Chanyeol’s neck. He breathes in as much of him as he can, his arms squeezing around Chanyeol’s shoulders and his fingers clutching any fabric of his clothes he can reach to keep him close. His thoughts are jumbled, his heart is beating frantically, and all he knows is that he has to hold on, he has to, he can’t let go. Chanyeol is shocked for a moment but then he mercifully wraps his arms around Baekhyun and settles him more comfortably in his lap. Baekhyun squirms closer, so close until there is no room for him to be scared, because Chanyeol is holding him and he won’t let him go. Chanyeol squeezes him tighter with every wave of Baekhyun’s hysteric cries. He feels horrible now, but if Chanyeol is holding him, Baekhyun knows he’ll be okay again.

“Shhh, I got you now” Chanyeol mumbles when Baekhyun quiets down a bit. He stops rocking him comfortingly and he gathers Baekhyun’s shaking body close; it makes Baekhyun feel safe and breathing gets easier. He clings to Chanyeol for comfort, staying impossibly close to him, and Chanyeol keeps him enveloped in his arms protectively. He kisses Baekhyun’s hair, his temple, his forehead, he pats his back and rubs his shoulders, he caresses his arm, his knee, anything he can reach, and holds his hand. Baekhyun slowly melts in his embrace, feeling his sadness ebbing away. “I’m right here, it’s going to be okay” Chanyeol whispers to him, nuzzling his hair and squeezing him again. All his actions are very soothing, comforting and gentle; Chanyeol is so strong, doing his best to reassure Baekhyun, when his own heart is fluttering like a frightened caged bird inside his chest. Baekhyun can feel it against him. He’s not entirely coherent again, when he hears a timid childish mumble from behind him.

((Daddy, is daddy ouchie? Why is he crying? I’m sad, daddy))

“Oh my god, what am I doing?” he panics, hiding in Chanyeol’s chest to wipe his tears hastily. He has to turn his back to her and it feels awful. What sort of parent is he? He’s crying in front of his child and now she is distressed too. Baekhyun is cursing himself for his poor self-control and his weakness, but Chanyeol holds him so tight it’s almost impossible to move, and he brings one hand over the side of Baekhyun’s face, tucking it against his neck where it had been previously.

“It’s okay, mochi. Daddy is a little sad. Will you give him a hug?” he says calmly, over Baekhyun’s head. There’s shuffling noises behind him and Baekhyun worries more than ever that she is close when he’s so broken like this, his heart rate spiking through the roof.

“Chanyeol, she can’t see me like this” he whispers urgently, trying to fight Chanyeol’s iron hold. Chanyeol pulls back slightly but he doesn’t let Baekhyun run and hide as he’d have wished. Instead, he guides Baekhyun’s head so that he will look up at the taller, which is all but what Baekhyun wants to do; he looks horrible, inside and out, and he doesn’t want anyone to see him like this, certainly not Chanyeol and his child.

“Baek” Chanyeol calls softly, a gentle look in his eyes as he gazes into Baekhyun’s frightened and puffy ones. The warm hand which is cradling Baekhyun’s face moves to caress his damp cheek and then his hair. He brushes aside a few tufts of Baekhyun’s tussled hair; the gesture is comforting and intimate, and Baekhyun appreciates it beyond words. The gentle way he’s looking down at him, his soft touches…Baekhyun slowly relaxes, finding his balance again. “We love you when you’re sad, too” he says with a tiny smile, kissing his brow affectionately. Baekhyun closes his eyes and wishes to all the stars that he could keep this moment forever.

Then, he feels something soft landing in his lap, followed by little hands that push their way into their embrace. He looks down with Chanyeol and they find Lay, with big, watery eyes on the verge of tears, looking up at them as she climbs in the little space between them. She has brought her favorite teddy bear too, the cute brown one with the bowtie.

((Daddy, here is Mr. Brownie. You say he takes away tears and brings smiles. Don’t cry, daddy. You can hold Mr. Brownie; he’ll bring you a smile))

Lay offers Mr. Brownie to her tearful daddy, with an adorably pouty mumble. Chanyeol caresses her hair with a smile full of emotions and Baekhyun accepts the stuffed bear with shaking hands, keeping eye contact with her expectant, hopeful and a bit sad eyes. Lay never shares Mr. Brownie; it’s the only thing she keeps like treasure. And yet, she’s offering it to Baekhyun to comfort him. If that doesn’t make her an angel, Baekhyun doesn’t know what other wonderful being his child is.

“Thank you, honeycomb” he mumbles with a wobbly smile, kissing her hair reverently. The little child plants her face against them, trying to hold onto both of them and show them a more deeply felt kind of love than smiles and giggles. Baekhyun’s heart melts and he hugs her with one arm, keeping the other around Chanyeol, who is holding both him and Lay in his lap. Baekhyun is grateful to have them, to the ends of the world and back. He can’t doubt the feeling that he belongs here, that this is complete and perfect, it’s how it’s meant to be. He’s never felt safer and stronger than in this moment, and he squeezes them both in his hold, as hard as he can till he’s shaking. “I love you so much” he says, with new tears of appreciation slipping past his eyes. He means it for both of them.

Lay quietly mumbles something against his ribs, which is muffled by his shirt, and Baekhyun smiles, feeling Chanyeol kissing a tear from his cheek and then holding them even tighter. He doesn’t see his mother, standing by the door and watching them in tears of regret, because she only exchanges a look of understanding with Chanyeol, she mouths an silent apology and leaves, to come back another day and make up with her son, finally. To tell him that she loves him and she is happy for him. She even smiles at Chanyeol.

--

Baekhyun comes home after a decidedly long day at work. Numbers are swirling behind his eyelids every time he blinks and his feet are killing him from going up and down the stairs all day, because the elevator at the office broke; the building has ten floors. He is drained of all his energy, he feels sleepy and guilty, because Lay had to stay with Chanyeol all day today, and now his little munchkin is probably asleep and Chanyeol unfairly worn out. The giant deserves a golden statue in his honor, for putting up with Baekhyun for so long.

He opens the door and tiptoes inside, trying to make minimal noise as he unloads his briefcase, phone and keys, and takes his shoes off. All his effort to keep quiet is nearly ruined when Chanyeol appears at the doorway all of sudden, spooking Baekhyun out of his skin! He did not expect Chanyeol to be up and about; he thought he’d have crushed on the couch while waiting for Baekhyun, like it has happened a few –many– times in the past. But Chanyeol seems wide awake, dragging his feet as he emerges from the living room, with a blanket thrown around his shoulders like a superhero cape. Baekhyun swallows the unmanly scream that was about to rip its way out of his throat and sighs in relief, convincing his heart to slow down. Chanyeol gives him a small smile.

“Welcome back; did I scare you?” he asks in a quiet voice, scrutinizing Baekhyun’s pale complexion with concern; Baekhyun is sure his horror was written all over his face a moment ago, but he waves it off dismissively. He hopes his voice won’t crack and betray him, but that’s after he has already opened his mouth.

“I’ll be fine. Where’s Lay?”

“She’s already asleep” Chanyeol wears a small, proud smile on his lips, and Baekhyun smiles too, because the taller looks so cute when he feels accomplished over such small things. “I left the door to her room open, so you can go check on her…and then come down again” his smile turns playful at the end. Baekhyun’s heart stutters.

“Thank you, but I feel so tired” he whines and pouts miserably, hoping Chanyeol will spare him for tonight. “Can’t I just crush?” he asks, blinking up at the taller and pulling his best puppy face. Chanyeol shakes his head, still smiling unaffected. Baekhyun knew it, he should have gone for the I’m-dizzy-please-let-me-rest act; his puppy charm must be wearing off after all these years, it’s not very reliable anymore…

“I have ice cream” Chanyeol chirps. Baekhyun groans. Why did he have to lure him with ice cream? He knows he can’t resist ice cream. Which means he’ll have to go up the stairs and then down the stairs. This somehow translates to climbing mountain Everest in Baekhyun’s head. But he’s a daddy, and he can’t resist the urge to check on his sleeping angel before anything else. Chanyeol keeps showing him that wide, hopeful smile and Baekhyun is honestly too tired to fight with his convincing strategies, so he ends up mumbling things under his breath like a mopey child as he trudges his feet towards the stairs. Chanyeol doesn’t follow him upstairs but when Baekhyun checks over his shoulder, he sees the giant at the bottom of the stairs, smiling up at him with that same, hopeful smile. Baekhyun stops complaining and flashes him a tired smile. Oh, Yeol.

He first checks on Lay, making sure she is sleeping soundly and she’s tucked in securely, and he kisses her forehead. Then, he goes to his room and changes out of his work clothes, putting on a pair of blue pajamas and washing up quickly. He looks tired when he checks in the mirror, and he feels so tired that his brain skips a few warnings, like how he’s going to show this wondrous spectacle to Chanyeol. All his brain has to comment on the matter is oh well. When he goes downstairs, Chanyeol is no longer at the foot of the stairs but Baekhyun doesn’t have to search long for him either, because once he steps past the living room, Chanyeol comes to him with a smile, to sweep him and guide him by the shoulders to the dining table. Baekhyun doesn’t want to cooperate fully, so he drags his feet a little, but Chanyeol doesn’t complain. He places him on a chair and brings a big tub of ice cream, thawed to the perfect temperature, deposing it grandly on the table with two small spoons.

“You said you already had dinner, so…” he shrugs his shoulders with a little smile as he takes his seat across from Baekhyun, leaning over the table to get closer to the ice cream. When his rear is comfortable on a chair, with melted ice cream begging to be eaten under his nose and with a very cute Chanyeol in his pajamas across from him, Baekhyun doesn’t find the situation as bad as he did before. It’s actually kind of nice.

Chanyeol picks one of the spoons and scoops near the edge of the ice cream tub, getting all that melted, syrupy, yummy content, and even though there’s plenty for both, Baekhyun is quick to object.

“Hey, don’t eat my part!” he protests, picking his own spoon belatedly. Everybody knows the melted parts are his, they always have been! Baekhyun is prepared to spoon-fend with Chanyeol to reclaim his thawed nectar, but Chanyeol only chuckles at his childish behavior.

“I wouldn’t” he says with a sweet smile, waving the spoon in the air before bringing it to Baekhyun’s lips –so that’s what it feels to be airplane-fed…Baekhyun blinks at the spoon confusedly for a moment, but then his frown smoothes out completely and his pouting lips part, to let in the delicious, heavenly spoonful of bliss. Chanyeol is chuckling at him again when Baekhyun opens his eyes –you need to close your eyes to appreciate a good spoonful– and Baekhyun smiles, a little shy but mostly content. Chanyeol makes it a point to stab the frozen middle part of the ice cream, chipping a small section and keeping it in his mouth to thaw, showing exemplary behavior.

Like the good old days.

“Why do you remember these small things?” Baekhyun mumbles with a secretly sad smile, shaking his head and scooping another spoonful of melted ice cream with ease. He hopes it will help with the tugging feeling he has in his chest all of a sudden; because Chanyeol is so sweet and perfect, but not his. No matter how many days they spend together, no matter if they share a house and a mattress, no matter how much Baekhyun pretends in order to keep himself happy and his heart unscathed, they’re simply really great friends at the end of the day. Awesome friends who are raising a child together, yes. But Chanyeol is not Baekhyun’s in any other way that matters; and he probably never will be.

Baekhyun sighs wistfully under his breath. Of course he daydreams about it –has he done anything but that during the past three years?–, but he doesn’t stand a chance in vivo; he’s way below Chanyeol’s league to begin with, and he has a child too now. He is the epitome of ‘complicated’ and it’s just so easy for Chanyeol to have anyone he wants; there is no reason for him to even glance at Baekhyun that way, even if Baekhyun wished and prayed to marshmallows for it. Kyungsoo, Dr. Kim, Sehun –maybe Chen too– they’re all wrong to think Baekhyun can have Chanyeol for himself. And honestly, who wouldn’t want that walking piece of perfection that is Park Chanyeol? The world is not blind; all Chanyeol will have to do is smile at someone he finds interesting and bam! He’s taken and gone forever. It hurts Baekhyun to think that someday, someone who won’t be Baekhyun might have Chanyeol like this; smiling and laughing beside them, pouting and blushing cutely, raising a child together, having ice cream in the kitchen at eleven p.m. and wishing they’d go to sleep soon so that they can cuddle with him…Unlike Baekhyun, they’ll have him wholly and sincerely. It won’t be stolen moments of longing over ice cream; it will be a lifetime.

Chanyeol smiles at him when Baekhyun lifts his gaze, already expecting the eye contact. His smile pulls Baekhyun out of his depressive cloud of thoughts for a moment and this makes it easier for him to smile a strained, tiny smile in return.

“They are my treasure, Baekhyun. They are things I know about you” he answers Baekhyun’s mumbled question casually –it’s too quiet this time at night to miss a breath. Baekhyun’s smile twitches and he pokes the ice cream idly; oh, Baekhyun can relate to that. He remembers everything there is about Chanyeol, and sure enough he keeps that information safe in his memory, exactly like treasure. It’s been two years of absence, so many people coming and going in the in-between, new things to learn, new feelings to remember, memories that overlap, and yet here they are, as if not a day has passed, as if they haven’t faded a day. Baekhyun wonders how long he can possibly make this last.

“But…Chanyeol?” he murmurs with a frown, after his next spoon of ice cream. Chanyeol blinks up at him with interest, looking into his eyes like a loyal puppy. Baekhyun takes a small breath, too small to give him courage but enough for him to hold anxiously. “Please answer me honestly; have I changed too much?” he asks, hoping he doesn’t sound as desperate as he feels. He needs someone to tell him, because Baekhyun is always insecure. It’s confusing and disappointing and frustrating. In a matter of a few years, he has let himself go, and he feels like it’s too soon for this to be happening.

Chanyeol ponders for a moment, with a cute thoughtful expression; Baekhyun is conflicted during that moment, unsure of whether he really wants to know the answer. Not to mention, Chanyeol is pouting cutely, and Baekhyun has to look away, because those pouty lips are too close for comfort. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d wish to kiss Chanyeol and it won’t be the first time he didn’t act on it. “Maybe a little bit; but only good changes” Chanyeol decides, grinning brightly. It’s not what Baekhyun had expected to hear; he can handle the truth, he just needs someone to tell him.

“I said honestly” he deadpans.

“I’m being perfectly honest” Chanyeol frowns seriously, looking at Baekhyun in the eyes. He tilts his head in bewilderment, like he doesn’t understand why Baekhyun would think otherwise. Baekhyun puts down his spoon and huffs.

“What exactly is good about me being a paranoid, over-involved father, who exchanged his personal life and social skills for a routine sleep schedule and fat buns?” he points out; and that’s only part of his concerns –because he knows he’s growing older. He is one year before thirty. The big thee-oh. And just look at him. Who would want him like this? And by the time he will be able to do something about it, it’ll be too late and nobody will even blink his way, and he’s going to end up with three puppies and five cats, and he’ll die alone.

“Excuse you, mister optimism personified” Chanyeol gasps, looking at Baekhyun with an appalled expression; Baekhyun keeps pouting stubbornly. “I think you are an amazing father who is raising a great child. And you still have friends and people who care about you; what about your mother, Sehun, Kyungsoo, Mrs. Lee? And what am I to you, a potato?” he gives Baekhyun a half-seriously offended look, and Baekhyun’s lips quirk with the beginnings of a smile. Chanyeol’s eyes soften for a moment, seeing his efforts to cheer him up paying off, and then he takes on a professional look, which clashes so funnily with his unkempt hair and pjs. “And for what it’s worth, I think your buns are as glorious as they used to be” he announces seriously, with his back straight and his nose high in the air. Baekhyun chuckles at first, but then he lowers his eyes to the ice cream and pouts miserably; Chanyeol is much too kind, but he’s lying. Baekhyun knows the truth; he sees it in the mirror every day.

“How can you say that when you used to know my buns two years ago?” Baekhyun whines under his breath, poking the ice cream like it’s at fault. Well, it is partially at fault; all those calories are going straight to his tush…He used to have praiseworthy, ‘glorious’ buns, as Chanyeol put it; he used to dress them up in super tight pants and flaunt them, swaying it like there’s no tomorrow, causing casualties left and right…but that is a dream of the past. Having a toddler around is exhausting but not particularly effective exercise; goodbye supple skin and firm derrière. Baekhyun can only trust his genes to keep everything in place and the rest is history. Chanyeol scoops a melted spoonful and guides it to Baekhyun’s lips again –sharing spoons with no care in the world– and when Baekhyun looks up to eat it with a defeated pout, he finds Chanyeol frowning seriously in determination.

“Baek, I wouldn’t care if you’re fatter than you used to be –which I don’t think you are” he says sincerely while feeding him, and Baekhyun’s ears turn bright red. Why does he have to be made of such perfect material, just why? “But even if you say you are, then let me tell you; you’ve filled out in all the right places babe” Chanyeol’s eyes drop to Baekhyun’s body with a look that’s definitely interested and fudge, did he have to do that after saying what he just said and calling Baekhyun ‘babe’ in that sultry, low voice? It’s getting hot in here. Baekhyun gets goose bumps on his skin from Chanyeol’s hooded gaze and he shifts on the chair; he’s not sure if he’s uncomfortable under the taller’s stare and he’s trying to hide and escape attention, or if he’s starting to feel hotty and he’s trying to rub himself and invite attention. Oh god, what if it’s the latter.

Thankfully, the tension breaks when Chanyeol drops his eyes to the table and scratches behind his ear nervously, then he gives Baekhyun a fleeting awkward smile and a matching glance, and then he resumes eating ice cream like nothing ever happened. Baekhyun relaxes in his seat, feeling more disappointed than relieved –okay, it might have been the second option indeed– but also feeling flustered and embarrassed secretly. He almost got excited from something Chanyeol said without really meaning anything indecent, how can Baekhyun be so stupidly bedroomally frustrated?!

Baekhyun keeps pinching his knee, cursing himself in his head and trying to get it together. In the meantime, he observes Chanyeol struggling to get a decent scoop out of the frozen ice cream part, his eyebrows tangling in concentration and his tongue poking out on the side of his mouth; he looks so endearingly childish. If you looked at this man, with messy black hair, pink lips stained with chocolate on the edge, wearing pastel blue pjs and eating ice cream happily, you’d think he’s still a child and ask for a hug –no one could ever guess anywhere near his actual age. Baekhyun and the rest of the world grow old, but Chanyeol doesn’t get wrinkles; he gets a dimple, how is that fair?

“I’m growing old, why aren’t you growing old?” Baekhyun mumbles quietly, kicking his leg in the air resentfully and pouting at the ice cream, scooping a consolation spoonful. Chanyeol chuckles at him.

“Why, are you bored of my big ears and you need my wrinkles to distract you?” Chanyeol quips playfully, his deep voice sounding in the empty house like a cheerful note of music. It makes Baekhyun feel a little lighter, but he keeps sulking for show. Yeah, he’d like a faint wrinkle on Chanyeol’s forehead or something; Baekhyun has one too –at least he thinks he does. Chanyeol bops Baekhyun on the nose and smiles at him when the shorter looks up. “I am, Baek; we’re both growing old, it happens to everyone. Don’t be so hard on yourself” he says gently, ruffling Baekhyun’s hair mischievously. Chanyeol can make growing old sound good somehow; Baekhyun sighs through his nose and rests his spoon on his lips shyly.

“Can I get a hug?” he mumbles timidly, giving Chanyeol the puppy eyes. The taller doesn’t say a word; he only grins and abandons his comfortable seat, walking around the table to Baekhyun, who is already expecting him with open arms. Chanyeol hugs him close and Baekhyun buries his nose in the taller’s chest, the scent of fabric softener and Chanyeol surrounding him.

“You big puppy” Chanyeol chuckles over his head, petting his hair as if he really is a puppy; Baekhyun would have retaliated with a pinch on Chanyeol’s waist at least, but he doesn’t want to do that today. It is better if he’s a puppy; a needy, lonely, oversized puppy who wants cuddles and affection and love. Chanyeol holds him for a while and lets him lament his frustration in peace; Baekhyun has always felt the safest in his arms.

--

Baekhyun can feel his consciousness stirring like a physical part of him, but he doesn’t rush it; even in his practically-asleep state, he knows today is his day off, and he wants to make the most of it. He deserves a good rest and family time, and the prospect of spending his day so perfectly brings a smile on his drowsy lips. He already feels more rested and peaceful, his limbs pleasantly numb and his mind finally free of worries; he can’t even remember the last time he felt like this.

He stretches and squirms, expecting his limbs to touch Chanyeol at some point, so he can orientate himself towards him and demand for his lazy morning warmth, but all he finds is cold, empty sheets. His hands actively search under the covers, but there is no hint of a familiar tall body on Chanyeol’s side of the bed. Baekhyun cracks an eye open, confused and slightly disappointed, to confirm that Chanyeol is not sleeping beside him. His first thought is that Chanyeol might be checking on Lay as usual, or maybe she is already awake and he is keeping her company, which is comforting –but still disappointing. He pouts, but then he registers the shuffling noises on the other side of the room, and he turns his head around.

Chanyeol is kneeling on the floor in front of the wide open closet, seemingly searching for something. Baekhyun can’t guess what he might be looking for inside the rarely used bottom drawers so early in the morning, but he’s not awake enough to question anything in any case. Chanyeol keeps as quiet as possible, but his rummaging is so intense that his flat rear, sticking in the air as he is bent forward, is wiggling every now and then. It reminds Baekhyun of an excited dog wagging his tail for some reason, and he smiles sleepily, oddly entertained.

He doesn’t get to find out what Chanyeol had been searching for, because the moment it looks like he has found it, Baekhyun’s brain ingeniously instructs him to play dead. He closes his eyes and breathes evenly, lying on his back and pretending to be asleep. This is all deception, lies and fallacies, because it’s a fact that Baekhyun can’t sleep on his back, but Chanyeol doesn’t know that and, hopefully, he will fall for Baekhyun’s otherwise effortless acting; it’s not like he fully woke up at any point.

“Baek…Baekhyunnie, wake up~” Chanyeol’s voice calls softly, and the bed dips next to Baekhyun, making him sway. He can feel Chanyeol sitting close to him on the edge of the bed, pressed against his hip, and Baekhyun gets the urge to curl himself around Chanyeol’s waist and sleep in his lap, but he’s too sleepy to move so much. A large hand rests on the side of Baekhyun’s waist and it starts rubbing up and down gently over the sheets; the fabric is so thin that Baekhyun can feel Chanyeol’s fingers slide over his stomach and down his ribs, all the way to his hipbone. Deeming it’s too early for such wildly inappropriate excitement, Baekhyun arches his back and stretches as a sign of waking up. Unfortunately –or maybe not so much– the move causes Chanyeol’s hand to stray off its innocent course and reaches intimate territory, from Baekhyun’s chest to the dip of his pelvis. Baekhyun would blush if he wasn’t feeling like a content, lazy cat.

“Why?” he croaks, blinking his eyes open to see a smiling Chanyeol –who keeps petting his stomach, for the record. It doesn’t help with Baekhyun’s recent cravings, ahem.

“Let’s go to the beach” Chanyeol suggests immediately, his voice cheerful but pleasantly serene. It doesn’t change what he just said; which was what exactly? Baekhyun is still half-asleep so, excuse him, but maybe he got something wrong.

“What?” he deadpans, staring at Chanyeol, unsure of how to feel or what to say about his proposition. Did he even hear it right? Chanyeol, on the other hand, seems very ready to support his case, bright glints of excitement dancing in his large eyes. It’s hard to resist him when he is like this, and why does Baekhyun feel like he will end up saying yes to anything? Because I probably will, because I’m a sap for Chanyeol’s puppy eyes and persuasion tricks and because I’m honestly so whipped, ugh.

“It’s your day off, the weather is nice and I’m sure both of us have missed the sea and a bit of sunshine. It will be fun for Lay too! I already got her the cutest bikini and I found your swimming trunks, so please say yes?” Chanyeol is undeniably excited and his big smile is blinding and hopeful, in a way that turns your insides to mush and clouds all judgment, making you feel compelled to agree or else the universe might collapse from the sheer amount of injustice that will be Chanyeol’s disappointment. He seems to have taken care of everything beforehand –even buying a bikini for Lay, where did he even find swimwear for a one-year-old?– and, much as Baekhyun would have liked to spend his day off cooped up in the safety and comfort of his home, unfortunately, he is too lazy to refuse an all-inclusive package for a sunny day at the beach. It’s true he has missed such excursions and, to be honest, he doesn’t care where he is, as long as he gets to be with his two favorite people in the world. Chanyeol is still staring at him expectantly.

“Okay” he concedes after a while and he sighs in surrender when Chanyeol bounces on the bed happily. This will be the first time Lay goes to the sea and Baekhyun doesn’t even want to start thinking of all the potential hazards yet, so he grabs a pillow and throws it over his face, very maturely hiding from his worries, and he turns to his side, getting comfortable. “But give me five more minutes” He needs to cope somehow, and a short hibernation break from reality seems like the way to go right now.

“You get five more minutes and a hug!” Chanyeol allows enthusiastically, fussily fitting himself in the small space next to Baekhyun and wrapping his arms around him, leaning his whole body on Baekhyun to keep from falling off the bed. Baekhyun smirks under his pillows and wiggles, allowing them to get more comfortable in a way that has become very familiar by now. He relaxes into Chanyeol’s chest, letting his strong arms pull him into a bundle of sheets and his fingers sneak under the covers to press against Baekhyun’s stomach. It makes Baekhyun feel like a squishy little spoon, but Chanyeol is giving him the cuddling warmth his system has been craving since he woke up, and so he’s not complaining.

“You just want to cuddle” he accuses halfheartedly, still smiling as he feels Chanyeol nuzzling his way from the nape of his neck to the side behind his ear and then down to the juncture between his neck and shoulder. Baekhyun likes to delude himself with believing Chanyeol finds him irresistible when he’s freshly awakened, but he knows very well that’s impossible and Chanyeol is probably just sharing his happiness this way. It’s been well established by now that Chanyeol is very touchy, and even though hugs like this happen sometimes, going beyond friendly and comfortable touches, no one ever finds it inappropriate or weird; the reason for this is a secret everybody knows but nobody tells.

“Shush, you want it too” Chanyeol retorts playfully, mumbling on Baekhyun’s skin. The latter chuckles and hums; it’d be futile to refute.

Baekhyun sleeps lightly but it helps to ease his nerves –maybe Chanyeol’s presence has had something to do with it– and he wakes up smoothly when Chanyeol untangles himself and gets off the bed. The pillow falls off Baekhyun’s head, unblocking his ear, and now Baekhyun can hear his daughter mumbling in playful voices in her room. She does that sometimes, when she wakes up in a good mood and she prefers playing by herself rather than calling for her daddies, singing and talking to her toys or mumbling things to her curtains and the hanging toys over her crib. Assuming Chanyeol went to her, Baekhyun guesses he’s on breakfast duty.

It takes longer for Baekhyun to cook a fuller meal for breakfast, but Lay and Chanyeol take just as long to prepare. Lay is very excited and Chanyeol is glowing with anticipation; it’s hard to remain unaffected by their cheerful vibes. By the time they settle in the car, beach necessities and snacks all packed and ready, Baekhyun is as thrilled as Lay and curious to see how she will react when she sees the sea for the first time in her life. They keep telling her they’re going to the sea with abundant excitement, and then they list all the things they can do there or give simple information, like ‘the sea is blue and very big!’, but she doesn’t seem to understand that part very well. All she knows is that they are leaving the house, the three of them together to have fun, and that she is wearing something unusual under her shirt. She seems to like her bikini –which is truthfully beyond cute– and she keeps pulling her shirt, trying to show it to Baekhyun.

((Daddy, look! I have a binini! It’s frilly and pink! It shows my tummy, but you can’t eat my tummy, because I’m wearing my binini! Hehe))

You can bet they sing, loudly, all the way to the beach, chorusing disjointedly and laughing when they get the lyrics wrong, or on particularly off-key notes and Lay’s passionate slurs from the backseat. Baekhyun doesn’t know how Chanyeol manages to play with them and drive, but he likes being the mood maker for more than one small person and he enjoys Chanyeol’s broad grins and hearty laughs. The long car drive to the seaside seems like it took just a few minutes. Baekhyun spots a seagull and points at it excitedly, explaining to Lay how this chirpy lives near the sea, and that means they’re close. Baekhyun feels like he’s five again.

The sunlight prevents Lay from seeing the sea from the parking lot, so they unload quickly, taking the baby seat with them as it is. There are a few people around, mostly small children, families and young people enjoying their summer, and it feels refreshing that nobody knows them or comes from their neighborhood for a change. Baekhyun overflows with excitement when the sea breeze brushes over his skin, carrying the sound of mild waves, and he picks Lay in his arms quickly, running on hot sand to get to the edge of the shore. Chanyeol takes a moment to set up their umbrella and secure their things before he runs after them.

Lay squeals and claps, her eyes sparkling. She looks wonderstruck and excited, not knowing where to look first, from the waters coming and going under Baekhyun’s feet to the vast expanse of blue horizon. She looks around at the clouds of white foam and marvels at the sparkles on the water, and then she notices other people having fun around them, and she starts babbling so fast that both Baekhyun and Chanyeol find it hard to keep up with her mood and understand her. In those unforgettable moments, they’re all swelling with happiness under the sun.

Baekhyun hands her over to Chanyeol when they decide to venture into the sea, because Lay is impatient to meet the water and Chanyeol is brave enough to get soaked in seawater quickly, whereas Baekhyun doesn’t like the cold on his skin and prefers to dive at his own, slow pace. They don’t go too deep, staying where the water is a little above waist high, so that they can easily hold Lay completely out of the water if they need to. Lay gets used to the feeling of the sea surrounding her in Chanyeol’s arms, and she keeps her lips pressed closed whenever she thinks she’s getting close to the surface after an unpleasant taste of salty water. They play with the tiny quivers of waves on the water’s surface and chase sparkles from the sun. When she feels more comfortable, she migrates to Baekhyun’s arms, dancing around with him and holding him tightly by the neck.

She finds it hilarious when Chanyeol stumbles and submerges completely for a moment, coming back out drenched to the last strand of his hair. Baekhyun laughs with her, but he can’t say the sight of Chanyeol’s white t-shirt all wet and see-through and clinging to his skin doesn’t affect him in other ways. They splash poor Chanyeol some more –mostly Baekhyun does, and he’s having too much fun with it–, and the best part is that Chanyeol can’t splash them back, for fear that seawater might get in Lay’s eyes. Chanyeol promises revenge back home –mostly threatening them with cuddle attacks which would be very welcome– and they play like that for some time, until they’re tired and they decide that devouring their snacks sounds like a good idea.

Chanyeol takes Lay to the showers, to wash off the salt, while Baekhyun prepares her snack. He ends up feeding Lay and Chanyeol after they come back, and for the first time in a long while he doesn’t care if people see Chanyeol eating peach slices right from Baekhyun’s fingertips, or if people will assume Baekhyun is dating him, or heck, if they’re married even! By all means, assume all of the above people, it doesn’t change Baekhyun’s happiness.

Lay falls asleep almost immediately after she finishes eating, clean, dressed, lathered with sunscreen and splayed on the baby seat under the shadow of their umbrella. Baekhyun sits beside her in the shade, gazing at the sea and enjoying the sound of the rhythmic waves, feeling the breeze playing in his shirt and in his hair, breathing in clean air and sunshine. Chanyeol is temporarily left in the sun to dry, but he moves under the shade soon enough, claiming the left side of Baekhyun as his pillow. Baekhyun would comb his fingers through his hair but salt makes mean tangles, so he only rests his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder and enjoys the moment. This has been one of the best days of his life.

“You called me daddy” Chanyeol says conversationally out of the blue at some point. Baekhyun tries to gather his thoughts from travelling with the wind over the sea and frowns behind his sunglasses, focusing on Chanyeol.

“What?”

“You told her ‘Splash daddy, honeycomb!’” Chanyeol repeats, his eyes staying fixed on the bright patterns of their umbrella, not meeting Baekhyun’s bewildered eyes, hidden behind black lenses. Baekhyun’s stomach flops. He did? He said that? He might have; it wouldn’t be impossible. His feelings have been on his tongue lately, slipping here and there; god, he wishes this thing between them was easier, less complicated, so he could say everything and just be satisfied for once. He feels something from his heart drop heavy to the pit of his chest and he pales a little, but he holds his tongue, seeing Chanyeol so thoughtful. After a long silence, filled with whispers of the sea, Chanyeol speaks again.

“She says it all the time, but it’s the first time you called me that” he explains, his gaze dropping to his body on the ground. His eyes are droopy but not sad, and his cheeks are pink from the heat, his hair is sticking in all directions above his large ears and his lips are pressed in a shy line. He looks a bit awkward, a bit flattered, and a bit bashful, so, essentially, he looks very cute. Baekhyun grins and eases Chanyeol’s uncertainty by smoothing his fingers down his arm and back to his shoulder again –he is totally not feeling him up, it was an innocent touch, although he does appreciate Chanyeol’s biceps greatly. He was tongue-tied a moment ago, but seeing Chanyeol like this, like a man flustered and proud and excited from the fuzzy feeling of fitting into a family, makes Baekhyun feel content.

“Now you know what that feels like” he says playfully, remembering all those times Chanyeol has acknowledged him as Lay’s daddy and how self-conscious it makes him feel when it comes from Chanyeol’s lips. It really sounds different, but he might never be able to explain it. Chanyeol makes the word sound like an honorific, a wish, a dream and a blessing all in one. The taller’s lips crack a small smile, his eyes still downcast and thoughtful, and he curls his toes in the sand idly.

“Yeah”

--

It’s another peaceful evening indoors for the three of them. Nothing out of the ordinary or disturbing in any way is happening in the comfort of the living room, where they’re sharing the space, each busy with their own business.

Baekhyun is working in the midst of an explosion of paperwork on the dinner table. His laptop screen is reflecting in his eyeglasses as he keeps calculating numbers for a budget, adding and multiplying again and again, until he can’t remember what the numbers he’s tampering stand for exactly. He takes notes and fixes his wire-rimmed glasses every so often, generally being very quiet and productive in his corner. He looks utterly adorable, wearing an oversized t-shirt and loose sweatpants which are too long to be his –because they are Chanyeol’s– his hair is a fluffy mess, and his lips are pouty and bright pink from frequent bites. He looks so serious and concentrated, the only signs of agitation being his pretty fingers drumming on the keyboard, his toes wiggling on the floor every now and then, or his nose scrunching in distaste.

Chanyeol is sprawled on the living room floor, right next to the play mat, reviewing a few contracts Luhan sent him yesterday for work. They asked him to compose parts for a movie soundtrack and he needs to go over some details before he has to drag himself downtown for a meeting with the company. He has done this before, so it’s not very hard to read over the contracts while keeping an eye on Lay. Besides, it’s one of those days when she doesn’t want constant supervision and company, being quite content with playing alone and rejecting their games in favor of her own devices. Being with the adults is fun, but a child needs some space every so often, too. They are enjoying a casual and comfortable companionship, with the scent of cookies and coffee lingering in the air.

There is something unusual about her today though, which is bugging Chanyeol. Lay is being oddly restless on her play mat, crawling around in endless circles. It’s not unusual for her to be so active, but she has never moved around with purpose for so long before. She gets distracted by her toys occasionally, and she sits down for a few moments, talking to them or arranging them out of her way, before she starts crawling again, from the couch to the coffee table, to Chanyeol, to her toys and back. This behavior is suspicious, but she doesn’t look agitated; she looks curious and thoughtful. Chanyeol follows her every move with the corner of his eye, ready to catch her if she tries to crawl away.

At some point though, she picks a spot and plops down on it for no apparent reason. At first Chanyeol guesses she has grown tired, but then she starts patting her hands on the mat, as if testing the ground underneath. What she might be trying to accomplish by that is beyond Chanyeol, but something is up with her for sure. Unable to hide how weird he finds it, he picks up his phone and texts Baekhyun –he’s only a couple of meters away, but Chanyeol doesn’t want to call him and disturb Lay and her uncanny rituals.

‘What is she doing???’

Baekhyun blinks and focuses on reality again when his phone buzzes next to him, picking it up and examining it for a moment before sending Chanyeol a curious look. Chanyeol nods to Lay, who is still patting the floor and wiggling her cute little diapered rear in place, looking very concentrated on whatever unfathomable is going on in her one-year-old mind. Baekhyun watches his daughter silently, looking just as bewildered by her antics. Work and budgets forgotten, he quirks an eyebrow and tilts his head to the side, trying to gain perspective, but he only succeeds in looking like a cute puppy. After a few minutes of inquisitive staring, his eyes widen, his eyebrows rise above his big eyeglasses and his lips gape in surprise with a sudden epiphany. He starts typing on his phone fast and not two seconds later Chanyeol receives the message.

‘OMG do you think she’s about to WALK?!?!?!’

Chanyeol’s head snaps up and he looks at Lay again, only this time it’s in a completely different context. He examines her under the new light Baekhyun has shed on her case, and her behavior doesn’t seem to him as bizarre as before. They’ve been expecting her first steps any day now for a while, after all. The doctor said she is perfectly capable of doing it if she wants to, and they’ve both seen the telltale signs, like the times she stands on her feet with the help of nearby furniture and she stays up for a few moments before she sways back on her rear –it’s one of the cutest things Chanyeol has ever seen, especially with that look of confusion she always wears on her small face. Her first steps is something both of them are excited and anxious about, because it’s the greatest thing to see a child achieving such tremendous progress and becoming a vivacious toddler, but then you’ll have to chase said toddler everywhere and try twice as hard to protect it from ever-present dangers. Crawling is more convenient, in the sense it’s more manageable, but Chanyeol doesn’t know anyone who hasn’t adapted after their child’s first steps, and frankly he can’t wait till they can play chase and dance together, or see her staggering and hopping her way all around the house.

The adults are obviously very intently focused on Lay but she doesn’t notice them, living in her own little world and making her first attempts at standing up at her own pace. She tilts dangerously close to falling a couple of times, but neither of them moves to interrupt her; she doesn’t seem to need their help anyway. When she first stands up and wobbles a tiny step forward, both Baekhyun and Chanyeol gasp.

She’s walking. Holy chocolate cookies.

“Honeycomb, you’re walking! You’re walking! Come to daddy!” Baekhyun flies to the living room in a matter of seconds, leaving sparkles of glee in his wake. He kneels next to the play mat and extends his arms, smiling at her encouragingly, so wide and radiantly happy, that Chanyeol’s heart throbs. He picks his phone hastily to record her first steps, and sure enough Lay giggles and staggers towards a very enthusiastic Baekhyun, falling into his arms with a triumphant squeal. Chanyeol cheers loudly and Baekhyun hugs her close, showering her with kisses and praise, before setting her back on her feet. “Now go to daddy! Can you do it, honeycomb?” he suggests excitedly and Lay turns around, sending Chanyeol and the camera a big smile.

It feels surreal and almost like a hundred hearts are pulsating inside his chest when he sees Lay taking quivering steps on her small feet towards him. Chanyeol wants to cry and it feels like he might faint, but his lips keep smiling and letting out encouraging words, calling Lay to come to him just as much as Baekhyun sends her forward. Since Chanyeol has to hold the phone, Baekhyun’s hands are following Lay, ready to catch her if she falls, but the little girl seems to be having the time of her life, giggling and babbling, and looking around as if the floor she’s known all her life is something completely new.

“What are you doing, Lay~?” Chanyeol asks her, focusing the camera on her ecstatic face. Lay looks up in that moment, all sparkly eyes and rosy cheeks, stealing his breath away with her mumbled response, looking so utterly, exuberantly happy.

((I’m growing, daddy!!))

She falls on her next step, landing with a small poof on the squishy mat. Baekhyun doesn’t even have to catch her, because she holds herself upright very well, avoiding any injuries, but she still has that look of confusion that Chanyeol adores, as if wondering why the floor moved all of a sudden. He puts the phone away to focus on her entirely while Baekhyun encourages her back on her feet.

“It’s okay, honeycomb, daddy is very proud of you! You can get up again, we know you can! Try it” he smiles at her softly, his eyes becoming crescent moons sparkling with happiness. Lay takes a moment to examine him, appraising his confidence in her, and then she looks at Chanyeol, who extends his arms as an invitation. She focuses hard on getting back on her feet again, very stubbornly and purposefully making her efforts, until she stands again and half-runs, half-stumbles her merry way to Chanyeol’s arms, giggling and babbling excitedly.

“That was amazing, mochi, well done! Your first steps, we’re so proud of you~” Chanyeol squishes her against his chest, kissing the crown of her head lovingly. He won’t say he’s crying, but it feels like it. He’s holding a little miracle. Less than two blinks after that, Baekhyun tackles them both, taking Chanyeol by surprise. Before he has time to process it, he finds himself with a lap full of Baekhyun and Lay, who are both hugging each other and Chanyeol somehow –that’s cuddling on Byun level for you. Chanyeol has no choice than to hug them both, his fingers curling around two soft, precious bodies, and he inhales their baby and vanilla scents, engraving them to his memory. But more than anything, he wants to remember the feeling of holding his life in his arms, of being the perfect puzzle piece, of experiencing such bliss and finally feeling like he’s in the place he was always meant to be.

“You know what this means, right?” Baekhyun lifts his head to look up at Chanyeol suddenly, glasses crooked on his nose and hair messy, puppy eyes looking even more adorable and innocent in this angle. “We’ll have to watch our steps, lock all the doors, stock up on band-aids and buy her the best shoes out there” he says seriously with a small frown between his eyebrows. Chanyeol can’t help but laugh at how cute Baekhyun is, how happy Chanyeol is, and how perfectly complete this moment feels.

“We will, Baek” he assures him, kissing his temple on an impulse that no one objects by now. Since Baekhyun has child-proofed the house and the stairs already, expecting this to happen any day for the past few months, there are few adjustments that they need to make for starters. As for the shoes, Chanyeol’s got it covered; he knows about expensive, good shoes, what do you think Yura gets every Christmas? Baekhyun grins, carefree, and tucks his head back into Chanyeol’s chest. Chanyeol swells with joy and secretly smiles; they’re so naturally making plans for the future, together, as a family.

Chanyeol agrees to give up his copyright claims on the video of Lay’s first steps for just one exception, and they send the video to Sehun, who nearly dies five times in the enthusiastic texts he sends them back, bombarding them at the speed of light –most of it is gibberish, exclamation marks, incoherent sentences and crying or heart-shape-eyed emojis. He even calls, squealing and exclaiming his excited thoughts so loud in Baekhyun’s ear that even Chanyeol goes nearly deaf beside him. He even asks to speak with Lay, who doesn’t understand why her Uncle Hunie is talking about strange things called ‘bicycles’ from inside the phone, so she listens silently, without a peep. Sehun laments that she doesn’t love him anymore and promises to visit them soon, to see her walk in person and win back her favor.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol laugh at Sehun’s reaction for a long time, even after they’ve put Lay to bed and they’re lying side by side in bed, ready to sleep. Chanyeol thinks he has had one of the most amazing days ever, the sort of day you recall with a smile after many, many years and you realize such things in your life are all you’ve ever needed to be happy. Baekhyun is still giddy beside him, squirming and watching the video again and again, with the wide smile of a proud daddy on his lips. Even after Chanyeol’s tiredness starts catching up with him and his eyelids become heavy, Baekhyun doesn’t stop fidgeting with his phone and wiggling under the covers, and even though Chanyeol doesn’t mind the glow of the screen, he needs Baekhyun to stay still so that he can get comfortable and sleep. The only solution to the problem that his drowsy mind comes up with, is to wrap himself, arms and legs, around Baekhyun; and so he does. Baekhyun doesn’t even flinch –at least he gets too comfy in Chanyeol’s arms and he stops moving.

“Oh, he sent another one!” Baekhyun says, unlocking his phone to check the latest message. Chanyeol waits expectantly to hear him read it aloud, but his mind is already clouded with sleep, so he doesn’t respond. “It says ‘She calls Chanyeol daddy too?? I knew this would happen…’” The cheerfulness dies on Baekhyun’s lips as he reads the question, and Chanyeol’s heart freezes for a moment. They recorded that part? Oops.

Baekhyun feels a bit distant and unnaturally still in Chanyeol’s arms, but Chanyeol is generally too tired to react with the appropriate embarrassment or awkwardness. It all seems very natural and sensible and harmless to him, in his half-asleep state of mind; yes, he is Lay’s daddy too, and it doesn’t make any difference if other people know it, he is happy and proud of that fact. Even though he’s nearly unconscious, however, he knows Baekhyun doesn’t think the same, because this means a great deal of changes and risks for him. Maybe they should talk about it tomorrow, maybe Chanyeol should comfort him and shower him with more love, until he feels comfortable and optimistic about the changes in their lives.

Silence. Long silence. No more laughing. Option to ignore the implications for now. Select. Cuddle closer to Baekhyun. Sleep.

--

((Can you tell my daddies to chu~ already, please?))