"I'm sorry Jongwoon...I have to go" said Kyuhyun as he put the last piece of his clothes on and started his way towards the door.

"Sorry? For what? For loving me? For showing your love to me? I don't think that people should apologize for such things, for being in love..."

"I think people should apologize when they do mistakes..."

"But it's not mistake" interrupted Jongwoon "I know it is not, but what I don't know and don't understand is why are you trying to hide yourself and your feelings, your love behind unclear words"
"It wasn't love... Don't say that word cause it wasn't!" Said Kyuhyun, his fingers tuning on his fluffy brown locks.

"It was you who said first Hyung, it was you who made the first move too" said Jongwoon firmly still facing the back of Kyuhyun. "Stop denying the things I felt yesterday and the words I heard just a moment ago!"

"I'm not denying my doings. However that doesn't mean that I did it because of love. I do love you Jongwoon, but only as friend, as dongsaeng  not as man. What I did was wrong. I shouldn't let my lust take control of me."

"Then, why did you say that you love me? If it's just because of lust, why did you confirm what you actions last night have already told me?" Paused Jongwoon, approaching the taller that was standing few feet away from him. "What are afraid of Hyung? even that I don't know you for long but I can clearly tell that those words are not coming from your heart" continued the younger as he reached the other warping his arms around his waist and pressing his head slightly on Kyuhyun's back. "I don't know why you are doing this and I'm not gonna ask you to explain it to me, at least now. But I love you Cho Kyuhyun, I wanna be with you not as friend, not as dongsaeng. I wanna something more than that."

"And I don't want us to be more than what we are now. I enjoy being your friend and hyung. I really don't have any attention to change the statue of our relationships «declared Kyuhyun as he putted his hands on the black haired ones freeing himself from the tight hug.

"If you can take back your words and ignore your feelings easily, I can't. I can't pretend to be just your dongsaeng, not when I already voiced my feelings to you and felt yours towards me" said Jongwoon in soft, warm yet firm tone.

"What do you mean?" Said Kyuhyun totally confused.

Will Jongwoon ignore him? He will not talk to him anymore? He will stop being his friend? Is that what the other meant? Kyuhyun felt like he couldn't bear it, maybe be was being selfish but that was because he didn't want Jongwoon out of his life. Not yet.....

"I will keep saying that tree words to you, I will care more for you, I will show you all the feelings that I have for you, I will not hold my love for you, not anymore."

Kyuhyun was dumbfounded at the other words; he wondered what he did in his past life to receive such love. Jongwoon was not willing to give up on him not even when Kyuhyun technically was rejecting him.

The older wanted to put all his worries and fears aside and envelop the other on his arms, kiss his rosy lips and never let him go.
It took Kyuhyun a lot of energy to not voice his feelings again. He wanted to say that he loved Jongwoon but he couldn't, seemed that he was not brave enough, at least not as Jongwoon. It seemed that his fears of the rejection from his family and the society were bigger than his love to jongwoon.

"You are going to waste your time only. Soon you will give up on that feelings and find someone who truly loves you" said Kyuhyun as he putted his hand on the door's lock not wanting to talk to the other anymore.

"But you truly love me Hyung!"  Shouted Jongwoon.
"Bull!!" Replied Kyuhyun finally leaving the room.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

And Jongwoon was on his words. It's been almost six months and he never missed a chance to say that three words to Kyuhyun. He would say "I love you" to the other whenever Siwon excused himself to answer a phone call or talk to someone. He didn't skip any occasion to slide his tinny hand in the other much larger ones locking their fingers together for a short moment.

For Kyuhyun, he made his smiles brighter and warmer, his touches were softer and his pecks were longer.

On the other side, the taller was giving Jongwoon the cold shoulder, not responding to any of the smaller moves or words, simply ignoring him. But deep inside him, he loved each whisper, each touch and each peck that Jongwoon was planting on his apple cheeks whenever he greeted him with "Hello" or "Goodnight, see you tomorrow"

At every rejection Kyuhyun fears were growing more, but this time it wasn't his fears of his family or the society that were scaring him. Actually, he was afraid of that day when Jongwoon would finally gave up on him, the day that Jongwoon's warm touches would stop, the that Jongwoon feelings would change.

He was getting more selfish, rejecting the other but in the same time, he didn’t want him to change his feelings. Yes he was selfish, he was totally aware of that but he couldn't help it, he wasn't ready for the day that he would see Jongwoon with someone else.

Kyuhyun became more sensitive by the time and unconsciously he started to notice things. He noticed how Siwon's stares at Jongwoon. How his childhood friend's smiles got wilder and warmer at the sight of the younger one. Siwon's arm around Jongwoon's shoulder bothered him. Yesung's smiles to Siwon whispers killed him.

Jongwoon was more than friend to Siwon he knew that, and he confirmed it that  the day when the three of them were studying at the library.

Jongwoon was sleeping on the table, tiered after losing the battle with some math equations that Kyuhyun gave him.

Kyuhyun noticed that Jongwoon face was showing some ingoing expression. The strong bright sunlight passing throws the large window was interrupting the other’s sleep. He was going to stand up and do something to help his dongsaeng to get a peaceful sleep but Siwon was faster.

The handsome student putted his and Kyuhyun's bags on the window in the way that the light wouldn't face the smaller anymore. He took off his jacket and putted it on the sleeping boy shoulders. A soft smile crossed Jongwoon's now peaceful face, reaching unconsciously and adorably at the darkness and the warmth surrounding him.

Siwon smiled at the sight while Kyuhyun felt like he was burning up.

"He is so beautiful, isn't he?" Said Siwon.

Even that Siwon's words sounded like question, Kyuhyun felt like he should not answer.

"Kyuhyun..." continued Siwon dropping the formalities "What do you think of me and Jongwoon?" Asked  Siwon while looking at the still Sleeping Jongwoon. Smile still evident on his face.

Kyuhyun froze at the question, he totally understood his friend words but he pretend like he didn't. "What do you mean?" Asked Kyuhyun wishing that Siwon's answer would somehow make his doubts fad away and his fears vanish. But it didn't, Siwon's next words only broke his heart.

"I like Jongwoon. No, I think I'm in love with him." declared Siwon, as he bit his lower lip, holding back a shy smile and covering his already red cheeks.

Kyuhyun never saw his friend like that before, not even when he dated his crush from elementary school, Jessica. Siwon was deeply in love with Jongwoon. He confirmed that.

He took a deep breath, his hands under the table turning to fists as he faked a smile on his face and turned to face his friend. "I think you suite each other" his heart was breaking more at his own words.

"Really!!!" Almost shouted Siwon, but he hold it back remembering the still sleeping boy on the table. "I wanna ask him out... you know... as my boyfriend but I'm afraid that he would reject me. Well he already told me that he doesn't have problem to start a relationship with a guy so that wouldn't be a problem, but I don't know if he is feeling something special towards me"

"Aren't you afraid from your family or the society, we still not open to this kind of relationships. Aren't you afraid of being judged by everyone?" Asked Kyuhyun without releasing. Maybe he was curious if only him who was afraid from the society. If it's only him who was crazy enough to never give his love a chance because of some fears.

"No" it didn't take a second for Siwon to answer "If he accepts my feelings I would fight the world for him, for us. I live my life for myself not for others."

Siwon's words were hitting Kyuhyun like bullets. Why he wasn't brave like Jongwoon and Siwon. Why he let his fears took him away from his love. He felt so jealous, he was so jealous of Siwon. And for ones he thoug