Eunhyuk had tried. He had gone to the club countless times during the past month, had spent hours there looking for Donghae, but the brunet had never shown up. Leeteuk hadn't been able to help either because apparently no one knew where Donghae was – or no one wanted to tell him. Well, Heechul surely knew, but whenever Eunhyuk had tried to approach him he'd been greeted with filthy words and murderous glares. The one time he had been persistent enough to stop him from leaving, Heechul had slapped him right in the face and told him to get lost. He had even visited Donghae's apartment complex, had been on the right floor and knocked against the door, disguised in a hoodie so no one would recognize him. Donghae would always know that it was him knocking, Eunhyuk understood that now. And even if he had failed to meet Donghae: he had understood many other things in the meantime. His brain didn’t refuse to believe anymore. And with an open mind it was so much easier to stay calm and collected while thinking about everything that made Donghae special.

Donghae was an angel. Somehow.           
He once had been one for sure and maybe he still was. Perhaps he had lost most of the abilities that didn’t make him human, but some were still there. He had lost memory of his past life and Eunhyuk knew that there was a good reason behind it. Donghae was a pure person; he couldn’t lie. If he'd know what all of this was about and someone would ask him, he'd surely spill everything. Asking wasn’t even needed because he didn’t hold back when telling people about his honest opinion. There were some things in this world that had to remain secrets, no matter how much you wanted to know more about them. Eunhyuk thought that it was good this way and yet… He wanted to ask Donghae one simple question, the question why all of this had happened. Donghae knew; Eunhyuk was one hundred percent sure that Donghae knew or once had known. Yet he also knew that he would never get an answer.

***

Eunhyuk sighed.

A bridge wasn’t the nicest place to be at in the middle of the night, he knew that now. The wind that tugged on his hair was cold, made his nose shine in a hint of red and made his lips all chapped. He could see the faint lights of the Christmas decorations in the city and thought that this year's Christmas would be pretty lonely for him. Had he a right to complain? Surely not.

He glanced down at the black water of the river that glistened slightly in the light of the lamppost somewhere to his right.

It had been wrong. He had wanted to get to know more about Donghae and once he did, he'd dropped him like a piece of burning coal. It wasn’t Donghae's fault that he had found out about his secret; if he hadn't been this persistent he most likely would still think that Donghae was just an innocent boy with a serious case of memory loss. And this was exactly what he wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell Donghae that he was sorry, that the brunet hadn't done anything wrong and that he wanted them to meet again at safe places. It was just that he didn’t get the chance to tell him this. The one to blame for this was no one but Eunhyuk himself.

Now he thought that he had found a way to see him again. At least he hoped so.

It was early in the morning so Donghae's shift had already ended (if he had been working to begin with). That meant he was awake and not that far away from him. Donghae had told him that he always knew where he was so right in this moment he knew that Eunhyuk was standing on this bridge. He had also told him that he could sense him better when he was sad or upset.

Eunhyuk was sad because they hadn't seen each other this long and on top of that he felt guilty because all of this was his fault so this couldn’t be the problem either. Yet Donghae wouldn’t come; he himself had told him to stay away, after all. He had been feeling this defeated for weeks and he hadn't seen him around, so he obviously had to go one step further.

He held on to the railing tightly and made sure that no car or other people were around before he swung his legs over the railing. He still had some steps to go before he would reach the edge so he carefully shuffled closer until he could see the water right below him.

It wasn’t his intention to jump, not at all. But if his strangest theory about Donghae was right then the brunet would come to him once he was in danger and this right there was a dangerous situation. The wind felt stronger, now that he didn’t have anything to hold onto and he had to watch out so it wouldn’t bring him out of balance. He knew that nothing would happen and maybe this was one of the dumbest ideas he had ever had, but his heart started picking up speed. Soon it was thumping against his ribcage and even without being afraid of heights he felt sick to the stomach. There were many people in this city that chose to jump into the river right under him and thinking that he once had almost drowned in the same water sent a shiver down his spine. Eunhyuk had changed his mind about many things and yet he still thought that the deep black was temping. Just jump and suddenly you're free from all your doubts, fears and pain… It was tempting, he had to admit.

The jacket he was wearing was thick, but after hours in the cold it didn’t keep him warm anymore. He was shivering – and the arms that were suddenly wrapped around him from behind knocked all air out of his lungs. Eunhyuk was slowly pulled backwards until the person behind him bumped against the railing. He expected some attempt to make him climb over the fence of metal to bring him back to safe ground, but nothing like that happened. They just kept standing like this, the other's face hidden in his shoulder.

"Why are you doing this, Hyukkie?" Donghae asked and his voice sounded sad, worn out. His breath softly hit Eunhyuk's skin and yet something felt odd. Where was the warmth that usually enveloped him when they were this close?

"Because I… I wanted to see you."

The hold around him tightened slightly. "Aren't you scared of me anymore?"

Eunhyuk bit his lip. It was still strange to think that Donghae was different and that he was able to do things nobody else was able to do. And yes, this whole topic was scary somehow because Eunhyuk would've never believed that someone like him would be blessed with meeting an angel just like that, that they even existed. Then again: Donghae wasn’t just any angel and Eunhyuk knew what the connection between them was. At least he thought so. He wasn’t scared anymore. It just felt… strange.

"No, I'm not", he eventually said, without lying. He kept looking ahead and noticed that Donghae couldn't even know what he had been scared of. Donghae hadn't done anything special, after all. He had just been himself.

"I'm happy to hear that", Donghae said, without sounding happy.

They kept standing like this in silence for a while. "Donghae?" Eunhyuk asked then and heard a low hum in response. "I know you don’t remember much, but… could it be that the day you were found by someone in that alley is the same day that Heechul-hyung decided to celebrate your birthday with you?"

He had to wait for a moment, but then he felt Donghae nod, his nose brushing against the skin of his neck. "Yes… He said everyone needs a birthday so we took that date."

"Could it also be that… this day is October 15th?"

Another moment of silence followed and Eunhyuk's heart once again was hammering.

"Yes, I think so."

Eunhyuk chuckled; it sounded rather desperate. So he had been right.

"Why are you laughing, Hyukkie?"

"Because it was October 15th when you came to my shop for the first time", he explained and noticed how Donghae fell silent in surprise. "Maybe that's a coincidence, but what's even funnier is that… My accident. It was on the 15th of October as well."

Silence enveloped them for long minutes before Donghae asked, "October 15th 2014?"

"Exactly. It was about one in the morning. I crashed into the river, someone pulled me out but my heart stopped beating a couple of times. The last time was around four in the morning and it happened in the hospital. Do you remember at what time you were found in the alley?"

It took him a moment before he answered. "I'm not sure, but it was still dark… I only remember that it took some time before someone came there… Why? Do you think that there is some kind of… connection between you and me?"

Eunhyuk just smiled knowingly to himself. "Yeah… I think there is a reason why we met. And that we met to begin with."

Donghae only hummed in response and for a while Eunhyuk wondered if he should explain to him that he had found out what he was. However, something told him otherwise. And that same something also told him that there was a good reason why Donghae couldn’t remember anything – and most importantly: it wasn’t in his might to change anything about this.

"I'm sorry that I ran away", Eunhyuk stated after a while. "And I'm sorry for yelling at you. That was a mistake, you didn’t do anything wrong."

Donghae's hold around him tightened more and maybe the reason was their thick clothes, but his embrace didn’t feel as warm as it used to feel. "It's okay, Hyukkie… I'm just glad that you aren’t scared anymore. I thought you didn’t want to see me ever again…"

Eunhyuk chuckled. "Why would I do that?" There was no answer. Eunhyuk glanced down at the water and sniffed slightly. "It's cold… Let's get back to safer grounds, alright?"

Together they c