I stare at the picture frame of me and my parents, Tears flowing out of my eyes and down my cheeks before falling off. I clutch the picture tightly through shaky hands struggling to keep some self control. Today it's especially windy and the skies are very silver and dark making this supposed to be warm day Into a very depressing day for me. 

" Eomma....Appa..." I sob loudly for once because the people downstairs understand. " Eomma...I finally turned 18 and I'm gonna live alone now.." I speak to my mother as I examine for the thousandth time her beautiful,cheerful, and joyous smile that resembles mine. Then I look at my dad smiling widely and proudly as he holds my mother's waist. He is tough and handsome, he was such a stubborn but kind hearted man. " Appa..." I sniff. " I will make you proud some day I promise I will." I sob softly by myself, slowly trying to help myself from crying because it's almost time. 

" I miss you so much.." I breathed out Impotent from holding back tears. " I miss you so much!" I repeat again more loudly at the frame shaking on my grip. I kiss my parents and place them on top of all of the clothes I have packed inside my luggage. I wipe my still warm tears with the back of my hand and I just sit on the edge of my bed to wait until I'm strong enough to leave this place. To leave. 

I will miss this house so much and all of the past memories I've made here. In our backyard I learned how to ride a bike, I brought friends here, I cried, I laughed, I've made mistakes, and I've fixed them. I grew up here and experienced a lot of stuff and it will be hard to leave this place but I need to escape from the painful past that will keep burdening me if I don't leave away from it. 

All of the posters and art work that I have collected and hung over time are now in the trash can since it's almost impossible to take it with me without folding it. I look at the time on my wrist 6:47 pm, It is time for me to stand up and catch the bus.

Hesitantly I grab my luggage and walk out of my now old room and I saunter downstairs where my foster parents are waiting for me. My foster mom is crying in my foster Dad's chest until she sees me walking towards them with my luggage rolling behind me. I love my foster parents a lot, they mean so much to me and they helped me grow until now. They showed me things like love and kindness and I wouldn't trade them for any better parent. 

" Youngjae..." She sobs covering her face with her tiny hands meanwhile my foster dad smiles sadly at me.

" E-Eomma..." I mutter back as I'm at a lost for words and so are they. I hate goodbyes..Especially painful ones like this. But it doesn't have to be sad, it can be normal and cheerful. " I love you guys...Please don't cry for me, I will be back someday to visit you." I assure them as best as I can without breaking my voice. 

" We will miss you a lot youngjae. I hope you take care of yourself when you reach Dunsan-Dong. Don't stop eating, always remain healthy, call us once in awhile to let us hear from you." My Forster Dad says as mom is too weak to say anything.

" Yeah pabo! Keep calling us and visit us okay?" She hits my arm after cleaning away her tears. Just like I want...A happy goodbye. 

" Bye Eomma, bye Appa." I hug them both tightly and lean back to leave quickly before I miss the bus. We needed more than a few words and hugs for my protracted time away but I don't want more than this... I want to leave as if I'm just leaving to school even though I may not be coming back for a long time. 

I walk alone on the streets that are a little secluded even though it is still early. ' Maybe it's because it will rain soon' I think to myself already feeling a drop of rain land on my forehead. Nonetheless of the rain I continue walking my way towards the bus stop with my luggage rolling loudly behind me. 

I reach the stop, me being the only one here and I wait. Meanwhile the bus is taking a bit too long I decide to sit and close my eyes, my past being the first thing in my mind in this slightly sad day. 

-Past-

" Youngjae look it's cotton candy! wanna try some?" I look up at my mom finding myself smiling and laughing at her smile as she holds my hand tightly because she's afraid I'd get lost. 

" Yes! Mommy please!!!" I jump up and down repeatedly full of energy and excitement. " I want Cotton candy please!!" I grin widely at her as I point at the big fluff ball of pinkness and sweetness. Her eyes shine with care as she nods her head and buys me the sweet.

Immediately after she hands it down to me I begin stuffing my face in, taking a bite out of this cloud-like candy. It melts in my tongue as I it and take another bite. 

" His teeth are gonna get rotten if you keep feeding him candy all the time." My dad who is right besides me says to my mother with a frown on his face. He is not upset nor grumpy that's just his permanent face expression. 

" He's just a little boy, let him enjoy his childhood." My mom responds with a gracious smile and leads me for another walk. 

" In my time we didn't eat candy and play games all the time. I had to earn it." 

" Well that's just you honey, Youngjae will carry a different life style." 

I stopped listening to their conversation because it was pretty boring so I focused on my attention at all of the balloons and toys. We were in a carnival to celebrates dad's work improvement. 

"Mommy! mommy!!" I remember getting excited for this giant ballon of a puppy that I wanted so we checked it out. We heard a sudden pang in the background but we paid no mind to it since it must be some machine or something, until we heard and saw people yelling, screaming, and running away like wild animals. Me and my parents didn't run right away, we stood there looking around everywhere for a reason to run. I felt scared so I squeezed my mothers hand tight. It was when I saw a man fall down after being shot that we started running but it was too late...

My mother got shot and fell, with me still holding her hands. 

" Eomma!!" I screamed crying out of fear and sadness as I crawled besides her and began shaking her. I wanted for her to wake up, can she wake up? Why is she sleeping at a time like this? Why is eomma sleeping when mr.boogeyman is here? Mom please wake up...

" Youngjae!!!" My father who was crying by my mother's side picked me up and ran away with tears in his eyes.I started to cry loudly over the absence of my mother! 

" Appa!!" I cry loudly. " Eomma is sleeping!! please wake her up!! I miss eomma!!!!" I cry and cry loudly in his arms. He pulls to a stop and hides me under this game stand. 

" Y-Youngjae.." He pants hard, tears in his eyes. This is the first time I've seen my dad weak so i had to listen to him. " Youngjae, My son. I want you to stay here while I go help your mom okay? Please don't leave this side until I come back..." He gulps. " Or at least until everything is quiet down. Don't leave this spot understand?" He orders me strictly so I nod my head vigorously. 

My dad gives me this slight smile before running back to the loudness.

I waited...

I was a good boy I waited for Mom and Dad patiently..

I was still scared and crying but I waited...I was also curious but I hid and waited. 

Mom...Dad....Where you go? I'm waiting for you can't you see? 

That was the last time I ever got to see my parents alive....

-Present-

My head jerks back up, startled at the sound of the bus stopping in front of me with a roar. I wipe my tears and enter inside the half empty bus to sit all the way at the back watching the rain pour down. 

Because this memory still haunts me, I decided to live alone far away from here. I'll live in a place close to the forest and the lakes. Dunsan-Dong.
I will start a new life, new friends, new school, and new memories. I just hope I can forget...

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