Tao quietly walked down the road he’s been using to visit Junmyeon for the past three years. Three years packed with dumb luck; it happens to rain every time he goes to visit him or when he decides to walk back home, yet, he's become so accustomed to it that he doesn’t bother leaving the house with a raincoat in his arms. Then again, it was summer and monsoon season was here and here to stay till the end of July, so the hot humidity that comes to follow the rain also was a turn off and not fit for a raincoat. The smell of sweet peaches filled the air as children sliced and shared them among each other.

“Taooooooo!”, a small child called out from the group of children.

Tao looked on over and offered a smile to the young boy who came running up to him, wet, due to playing with the buckets of cold water. “How are you Kai?” He bent down to reach the young child’s height, ruffling the boy’s hair playfully.

Kai giggled as he pushed Tao’s hand away, “I’m doing good Tao-hyung, want to play basketball later?” He frowned, hoping it would guilt trip the older one to come and play with him. Tao sighed, “Not right now Jongin. I’m going over to visit Junmyeon, but maybe another day, okay?” Kai knew it was serious when he referred to him by his real name. When will that other day come though, Tao? Kai sighed and slumped his shoulders forward, “Okay Tao-hyung~...promise?” he lifted his erect pinky and wiggled it in Tao’s face. Tao laughed and reached up and locked his pinky with the younger one, “I promise.”

“Tao, I at basketball, and you know this,” Junmyeon said. Tao walked on over to him and passed the ball to him, “It’s okay Ju-Ju~”. Junmyeon rolled his eyes at the lame pet name Tao managed to come up with. He bounced the ball, once, twice, and then successfully began to dribble the ball down the court. Tao jogged down the court with him, eyes glued on him with a smile plastered on his face. Junmyeon immediately stopped and stared at the basket above his head; doing the quick math and science to see what angle would successfully end in a shot. “Shooooot it~,” Tao playfully said. Junmyeon lifted his arms up and quickly shot them forward, letting the ball slip across his fingertips.

“Yes yes!”, Junmyeon ran around the court screaming and hollering as though he scored the winning shot in a national basketball game. Tao ran over and celebrated with him, “You did it…” Tao gently grabbed Junmyeon’s chin and stared into his eyes, “I knew you could do it…” Tao leaned in, allowing their foreheads to touch.

“I love you,” Junmyeon whispered.

“I love you too,” Tao said kissing his cheek, “Forever and always…”

Tao sat down next to Junmyeon, no one talked, in fact they rarely talked. It was more a spiritual communication between them. He stared at the dying flowers, “I guess I have to buy you some fresh flowers more often…”

“I guess you do~”

He picked up the flowers and carried them to the trash can that was quite a few ways away, “What about a batch of violets and a few golden flowers for you? Hm?”

“That sounds lovely Tao. Add some blue ones too...just for yourself.”

Tao stayed with Junmyeon for an hour or so, cleaning up the place and just sitting there afterwards; thinking, remembering, and regretting. He saw other people around the place, crying and what not, he didn’t want to cry. I’m weak, aren’t I? In fact, he didn’t have the strength to release any tears at the moment. I am weak... If he were to cry, he would end up passing out next to Junmyeon, and that’s the last thing he needs. So he just sat there, for a moment longer leaning against Junmyeon; he was getting colder as the clouds rolled in and the scent of rain plagued the air. He sighed and stood up, “I love you...” Before turning around to leave he looked down at Junmyeon one last time for today, “I’ll be back soon Junmyeon.”

“Why are you crying?”, Junmyeon walked over and sat on the couch next to Tao. He’s noticed that Tao has been becoming more of an emotional mess, but he doesn’t blame him. Troubles and issues have plagued his work area. His company was giving him a hard time, and it only made the pressure and hardships fall directly on Tao’s shoulders; dragging him down more and more each day. “Come here”, he slung his arm over Tao’s neck and pulled him down to his chest, as he himself fell over to rest his head on the armrest. Tao gripped at Junmyeon’s shirt as his tears spilled down his face, soaking into the shirt against his cheek.

“I’m weak”, he croaked out.

“No you’re not…”, Junmyeon ran his fingers through Tao’s hair. “Don’t say stuff like that, ever.” With his other arm, he draped it over Tao’s back; holding him close, making sure that he knows that he’s there for him, that he loves and cares for him. Forever and always…

Tao leaned down and plugged the tub with a grunt, “Aren’t I too old for baths?” He the water and just left it running; slowly the tub began to fill. He left the bathroom and walked out to his room. He walked on over to his closet and pulled out a pair of sweats. Junmyeon’s favorite sweats...I can’t!

“Yes you can Tao, you know you love those as well. What’s mine is yours...remember?”

Tao closed his eyes, and listened to the two consciouses that battled it out.

“You look lovely in them Tao~”  

“Okay.”

After soaking in the bath for more than he should, he changed into the sweats and fiddled around with the grey fabric between his fingers. He walked on over to the couch and sat down with a sigh, “What’s on today?” He reached on over for the remote and the television; in all honesty, he didn’t feel like watching anything today. He switched it onto some random channel, which turned out to be one of Junmyeon’s favorite channels. He looked up and scoffed,  “Looks like your favorite drama is on today Junmyeon”, he set down the remote and walked back into his room. He crawled onto his side of the bed and laid on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling above. His breathing slowed down and his eyes became heavy, “Goodnight...Junmyeon…”

~ ~ ~

This time it was raining before he left the house, “Should I?” He raised an eyebrow as he thought about it.

“The last thing you need is to get sick, Tao.”

“Fine”, Tao rolled his eyes and walked back into the house. He came back out with a light raincoat, and a bunch of flowers in his hand. The kids weren’t outside, and the smell of peaches weren’t in the air today. It was gloomy and the only color that contrasted nature were the colorful flowers resting in his hands. The rain was heavy, heavier than any other day, and in a way he was thankful that Junmyeon made him go put his coat on. He nearly slipped twice walking down the sidewalk, cursing under his breath every time nature tried to slip him up. The road was beyond slick; it nearly seemed like an ice rink, no traction to help a car stop. Or stop in time…

“Oh”, Tao stopped and bent down to pick up one of the small violet flowers that slipped from the bunch. Tch, it’s damaged...Tao broke the stem of the violet short and placed it neatly in the pocket of of rain coat. Maybe one or two cars were seen on the road as he made his way to see Junmyeon again; for the fourth time this week. His friends insisted he gets help, because it “Wasn’t healthy” for this to continuing. “What do they know Junmyeon?”, he looked at the flowers and frowned a bit.

“They’re just worried about you Tao. Let them help you…”

As Tao made his way to Junmyeon he stopped abruptly as he saw that Junmyeon’s brother was also there with him, “Hyung.” The older male stood up from his knees and looked at Tao with red eyes. “I uh, brought flowers…”, Tao walked up to him and gave him the flowers, “Junmyeon needed some new flowers.” He placed the flowers carefully in the vase below next to Junmyeon and then sighed as he saw that Junmyeon was dirty, “Why is it so hard for you to stay clean?”

“Come again?”, Tao jumped and stood back up to look at the older male.

“Oh, nothing…”

“Tao”, he walked up to him and gently placed his hand on his shoulder, “Please, I have a friend that can help. I know this is hard on you but you need some help. Tao, please.”  The younger one looked away and tightened his jaw. “Junmyeon would want you to...Is that right Junmyeon?”

“Of course hyung...Please Tao, it’s time. Do it for me Tao...Please…”

“Tao?”

The younger one clenched his fist and let out somewhat of a defeated sigh, “Okay, I will do it...for Junmyeon.” The older one smiled and brought him into a tight embrace whispering an array of positive statements and encouragement. I guess it was time, time to come to terms with what happened.

“Well, I must go. Junmyeon needs your company, and you need his, so I’ll be on my way. Next week  Tao. Understood?” He pointed his finger at him as he slowly began to walk away, “For Junmyeon…” He finally turned around and continued his way through the rain that slowly began to settle down. Tao cuddled next to him and closed his eyes, “Is what I’m doing wrong?” This time Junmyeon did not answer, was there a right answer? “C’mon say something”, Tao’s voice croaked a bit, “I need to know.” Tears formed in his eyes. His heart began to race as his inner anger grew; Junmyeon wasn’t answering and he wants to--needs to know. Tao turned and faced him, “Answer me!” The tears spilled from his eyes at last, camouflaging with the rain that dripped from his bangs. He leaned forward and rested his head against Junmyeon’s cold surface, “Please...just answer me…”

“Tao, forever and always right? This isn’t going to change how I think of you or how much I love you, just like how you’ll love me in return for forever. What you are doing is not wrong...but it can’t be going on like this…”

“That’s not what I wanted to hear Junmyeon…”, he wiped his tears mixed with rain away and slid down him, lying on the drenched ground, letting the rain hit his face. He fiddled around with the flower in his pocket till he got bored of it. He sat up and turned to face Junmyeon, “Well, it’s time for me to go my love...I’ll see you….”, he clenched his jaw, “I’ll come and visit you one of these upcoming days okay?” He stood up, fixed himself and the flowers one last time before turning his back on him. For you, Junmyeon…

A week later…

“Tao how are you?”

“I’m doing...well?” he wiped his palms against his thighs. The chair he was sitting in was cold, uncomfortable, and creaked with every movement. Are all places like this?

“Give it a shot Tao.”

“So tell me Tao, how have you been holding up?”

“Pretty good...or so I’d like to believe I am”, he started to lightly laugh, “Junmyeon says otherwise.” His laughter dies down once he realized what he just said; Junmyeon. Tao looked up at the therapist with wide eyes, “I didn’t visit him this entire week! I need to g--”

“Tao”, the therapist reached over and placed a hand on Tao’s hand, “It’s okay. Junmyeon will understand. Now Tao, can you tell me what happened with Junmyeon?” Tao looked at him and then he quickly looked away. I can’t...not right now!

“It’s been three years my love...now is the time.”

The therapist squeezed his hand, and as he looked down at the hand he sighed, “Okay…”

“Ju-Ju!” Tao yelled as he pounced into the air, landing on Junmyeon who laid on the bed. He didn’t have a moment to prepare himself from the weight that landed on top of him, “Still? Ju-Ju? Really?” Tao laughed at the older ones cringing face. “What if I gave you a silly nickname huh?” Tao snuggled his face into Junmyeon’s neck, leaving little pecks all around, “Like what?” Junmyeon stared up at the ceiling, thinking of an equally dumb nickname while Tao kept planting kisses all over him.

“Don’t we have to g