It was almost scary how quickly Minseok found himself falling into a routine with Jongdae. They went out on a date at least once a week, every time on a different day and at a different time to avoid patterns. Patterns would mean they’d get caught, and considering everything, that was the last thing either of them wanted.

            Not that Minseok never wanted to be introduced to Jongdae’s family. Nearly two months into their relationship, he already knew that he wanted to be with the boy for a long time—Jongdae didn’t like it when he said forever, but Minseok couldn’t deny the word from running through his mind. He’d even found himself imagining the scenes in his mind at night, scenes of him meeting Jongdae’s parents for the first time, of their first public event together, of an official… courtship.

            The thought of it ran shivers down Minseok’s spine, and he couldn’t figure out for the life of him whether it was pleasant or not. Most Alphas, especially those his age, would have courted an Omega they found within days, if not hours, yet somehow thinking about courtship with Jongdae after just two months still felt too soon. Maybe it was because he didn’t think like other Alphas, or because Jongdae wasn’t like other Omegas. Really, Jongdae was just Jongdae—no class, no status, no category could define him and come even close to who he truly was as a person.

            Yet that was how he was expected to live: confined within endless boxes and categories, each only getting a glimpse, a small peek of everything he was. He was an Omega, so he was supposed to bear children. He was a male, so he was supposed to be put up on a pedestal where no one could touch him and he could touch no one else. He was sought after, so he was supposed to be grateful. He was well-off, so he wasn’t supposed to complain. He was young, so he was supposed to be open to suitors. He was him, so he had to be quiet, submissive, obedient.

            He had to be anyone except for Jongdae, and that thought made Minseok sick.

            But even then… what did he know? After all, he’d been around Jongdae for only a short while, and no matter how close they had become, there were plenty of sides of the boy that he certainly didn’t know. He was greedy, he supposed, in that manner. He wasn’t content with just seeing what Jongdae showed him now, what he already knew of the boy—he wanted to know more and more, and with every passing day that desire only grew stronger.

            “Oi, you got a text from loverboy,” Lu Han garbled incoherently through a mouthful of popcorn, and the words snapped Minseok out of his thoughts. Blinking dumbly a couple times, he took so long to process what his friend had said to even think about chastising the other man for looking at his phone. Instead, he looked over to see the notification light up on his screen, and a small smile came to his face as he saw who it was from. The smile dropped immediately, however, as he opened the message and read its contents.

I’m coming over, have champagne and chocolate ready.

            Something was wrong. Besides the obvious fact that Jongdae thought champagne was disgusting and always tossed it into potted plants when people weren’t looking, of course. It was just that… a text, a demand so out of the blue like this just wasn’t normal. Jongdae certainly was spontaneous, but he also knew Minseok wasn’t, so he never did things out of the blue like this with him. If he wanted to go out, he’d ask at least two days in advance. If he wanted to come over, he’d ask the day before. If he wanted to meet Lu Han, he’d shoot the idea down himself in his mind before even sending a text to ask because from what Minseok’s told him, meeting Lu Han was a mission he’d regret embarking upon.

            Yet here Jongdae was, standing outside of the door to Minseok’s thankfully now Lu Han-less apartment (it had taken more than enough bribing on Minseok’s part, but at least he was gone now). Minseok had laid out whatever random assortment of chocolates he had around the house and champagne bottles he rushed out to buy before Jongdae got there.

            “I’m coming in,” he muttered grouchily, kicking off his shoes and avoiding eye contact with his boyfriend as he made a beeline for the coffee table where the champagne and chocolates were and sat down by it.

            “Wait,” Minseok cut in quickly as the boy reached for a bottle, grabbing his wrist and sighing as he got a glare in return. “You’re already drunk, aren’t you? Don’t try to deny it, I can smell it. What’s going on, Dae?”

            “…I,” Jongdae started hesitantly but cut himself off almost immediately, shaking the grip off his wrist and shoving his hands into his lap. Opening his mouth widely, he stared at Minseok expectantly. “Feed me.”

            “Jongda—” Minseok started, but he was cut off with a glare.

Eventually, he relented, picking up an old Lindt collections box and popping one of the small morsels into Jongdae’s mouth. While he couldn’t deny that his heart warmed a little as he saw purr in happiness as he chewed—he even liked this bratty side of Jongdae— he was worried. What was going on? Where had Jongdae been? Why did he not have his scent covered now? Why was he so upset? Why was he tipsy? Why wasn’t he telling Minseok anything?

            “Oh, oh, do a caramel one next!” Jongdae exclaimed chipperly, pointing to the wrapped morsel with such excitement that Minseok couldn’t bear to say no.

They continued like that for a while, with Jongdae eventually convincing him to open up a bottle of Cristal for them. As expected, Jongdae cringed at the very first sip of it, but he continued drinking nonetheless, until it reached the point where he was practically trying to chug bottles and Minseok had no choice but to intervene, no matter how upset Jongdae was feeling right now, if he even was doing all this because he was just upset.

            “How about we do something else instead?’ he suggested, quickly wracking his brain for solutions as Jongdae’s pouts only deepened and his whines loudened. “I have some of the steamed buns you like in the kitchen—we can eat those and watch some TV?”

            “…Fine,” Jongdae relented eventually, and Minseok sighed in relief as he went to go fetch the food.

            Eventually, they ended up cuddled up in the loveseat in front of Minseok’s TV. They had found some old dramas that Jongdae really enjoyed, so they left it on. It was mostly just playing on the background as they ate though, as Jongdae seemed far too lost in his own thoughts while Minseok was too lost in Jongdae. Especially when the boy’s phone vibrated sharply in his pocket, but he made no move to actually answer it. It was clear that Jongdae noticed it and was just ignoring it, but Minseok couldn’t figure out why. It had to have been from someone important, seeing as they were calling and texting over and over again, despite being ignored.

            Soon enough, even Jongdae got tired of the vibrations, yanking his phone out only to set it on silent. As the screen automatically lit up at the action, Minseok was able to see the culprit, and his heart dropped as he looked on.

Nini: 2 new messages
Nini: 1 missed call
Sehunnie: 1 new message
Mommy: 4 new messages
Daddy: 8 new messages
Daddy: 3 missed calls
Bro McBroface: 1 new message

            Minseok certainly didn’t have a good feeling about this.

            “You’re not gonna answer them?” he asked slowly, hesitatingly, not wanting to set Jongdae off. The boy tightened his grip on his phone, and Minseok ran his hand down the boy’s arm in what he hoped was a soothing manner. “Seems like a lotta messages and stuff.”

            “…They can wait,” Jongdae muttered slowly, leaning further back into Minseok’s body until he was practically sitting atop his lap. Absently, he thumbed at his phone, taking the last bite of the bun Minseok raised to his face. “Wanna stay with you... wanna be here with you.”

            “You already are, silly,” he replied softly, hugging Jongdae tightly and noticing how the boy went stiffer at his words.

            “…Yeah.”

            Jongdae leaned in so face was almost entirely nuzzled in Minseok’s neck, and the older boy let one of his hands come up to his boyfriend’s hair as relaxingly as he could manage. With his other, now free hand, he slowly pulled Jongdae’s phone out of his hand, instead letting it rest on the couch besides them as he intertwined their fingers together comfortingly. The action only made the boy tense more, until he was suddenly pulling back to stare at him straight in the eye.

            “Would you… if…” he started quietly, biting his lip as though hesitant to continue, and Minseok wanted to cry with just how helpless he looked. Even drunk, Jongdae always looked blindingly beautiful, but now, with the fierceness in his eyes being because of sorrow rather than joy, Minseok wasn’t sure how he could ever appreciate such a sight.

            “Go slow, baby,” he encouraged, letting his hands the back of Jongdae’s head and the side of his arm in reassurance.

            “I’m s-sorry for being a bother,” he started, his voice interrupted with hiccups that Minseok wasn’t sure were just from the champagne or were from something else. Something else… the very thought wrenched Minseok’s heart just a little bit more when accompanied by Jongdae’s words.

            “You’re not a bother, not in the slightest.”

            “I…I am though. You were having a normal night, probably a fun one, and I just barge in and demand you do everything for me. You shouldn’t have to deal with something so bothersome.”

            “I did what I did because I wanted to—that’s not a bother, that’s caring.” Jongdae chuckled at that, cracking the first smile of the evening. It was more than beautiful.

            “That’s such a… you thing to say. Can I even say that? I’m sure your friend would agree too, since you’re just always so nice. How are you so nice? It doesn’t make sense to all of us normal people out here, y’know? Stop being so confusing.”

            “You’re rambling again,” Minseok pointed out, smiling as Jongdae chuckled again. “And would you rather I be mean? Big bad meanie who’s gonna ignore you and take away your chocolate?”

            “Not my chocolateeeee,” Jongdae whined, lips jutting out into a small pout as Minseok broke out into a full laugh. He leaned in to give the boy a peck, essentially kissing the pout away and replacing it with a small, goofy smile.

            “Don’t worry, so long as you’re here, you’ll get your chocolate,” he assured, pulling the boy in for another kiss but frowning as he instead went silent. “Jongdae?”

            “But what if… what if I wasn’t here?” he asked quietly. “What if… I couldn’t be here?”

            What was this about? Minseok tried to observe the boy’s face to figure out what was wrong, but Jongdae simply looked away and kept his eyes downcast. His fists slowly curled into the fabric of Minseok’s clothes, as though latching onto him for stability, and that thought only worried him more.

            “…I’d go out and figure out where you were, then go and get you just to drag you back here again,” he said firmly, but Jongdae only furrowed his eyebrows and glanced back at him.

            “Why?”

            “Because that there’s no way in hell I could stand to lose you forever. You may not realize it, but you mean a whole lot to me, and I think the world of you.”

            “…Would you think so… so highly of me if I…” Hiccups filled his voice again. “…cried?”

            “Now listen here, Kim Jongdae,” Minseok cut in quickly, though his hands were softer to take any edge off of his voice as he gently the boy’s head and waist. “You could murder someone in the street right in front of me. You could drink until you needed your stomach pumped. You could laugh so loudly that neighbors start sending out noise complaints. And you could cry up more water than there is in the Han River, and you know what? I’d never, not in any single way, think any less of you or care any less for you. Don’t you ever underestimate how I feel for you, okay?”

            He finished his little monologue smiling softly as Jongdae stared at him in awe with wide eyes and open mouth at the words. Eventually though, he broke out of his awe at the blunt statement, breaking into a small fit of giggles, practically lunging at Minseok to wrap his arms around him and bury his face into his neck. The older boy took it as well as he could, though the suddenness may or may not have knocked the breath out of him momentarily. Gently, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, patting his back lightly as the hiccups returned full force, and by the wetness soaking his neck and shirt, Minseok was pretty sure it wasn’t from the champagne.

            They stayed like that for a while, Jongdae straddling Minseok and holding onto him tightly as he cleared out his tear ducts, and Minseok soothingly holding him and whispering sweet nothings to calm him down. Whatever it was that had driven Jongdae to this point, Minseok wasn’t sure, but he sure as hell wasn’t about to let him suffer alone. He knew he was getting ahead of himself, knew he was probably taking too active a role in the life and concerns of someone he’d only known for a short while, but Jongdae was his boyfriend, for ’s sake, and he didn’t care what boundaries they were supposed to have. If Jongdae was in pain, so was Minseok.

            Once a while had passed, after too many minutes for either of them to keep track of slipped by them like this, Jongdae’s sobs slowly trickled down to mild gasps and heavy breathing. A few minutes later, he was leaning back, shifting so he could look directly at his boyfriend properly as he settled down.

            Perhaps it was a bit inappropriate, considering the situation, but as they stared at each other, face-to-face, Minseok couldn’t help but think of how beautiful Jongdae still looked. Even with puffy, red eyes, snot lightly trickling down from his nose, lips swollen and unevenly bitten from tension, messy hair, and so on, Jongdae was gorgeous. Even in sadness and frustration he glowed stronger than anything in Minseok’s world, stood taller and prouder than anyone could ever hope to achieve. The very thought of it all only made Minseok feel honored, as Jongdae—strong, radiant Jongdae—would be willing to show him any of his weaknesses, of his deepest emotions.

            It was as though Minseok was being allowed to witness the very history behind the art that was Kim Jongdae.

            “I’m being married off.”

            And just as in every magnificent pierce of art, tragedy underlies beauty. 

IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AND THAT ITS SHORTER THAN USUAL I JUST FINISHED FINALS ON FRIDAY + THIS WEEKEND WAS HELL IM TRYING I SWEAR
THANK U GUYS FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME ILY ALL U DA BEST