>> rire dans sa barbe
Heart, Mind & Seoul Reviews Archive
RIRE DANS SA BARBE
BY sonnet_sartori
BY sonnet_sartori
CHARACTERS. Minho and Taemin, Lee-Choi Sarae and Jung Jaehwa
STATUS. Completed
DESCRIPTION. rire dans sa barbe (French) \ʁiʁ dɑ̃ sa baʁb\ to laugh quietly while thinking of a fond past.
Story title. 5/5
J'aime la français, c'est un jolie langue. Puis je juste ne cette section en français, s'il vous plaît? Lol, désolé. Je vais le faire quand même, j'adore le titre tellement il est vraiment mignon chose et je peux voir d'où ça vient. (Love the title so much, I can see where it's coming from in the story as well)
I never know what to say for these sections, everything's good and I like how you included the storm as a character.
There isn't anything to comment on for graphics, and I won't take points because you simply didn't want to decorate.
Sarae's really cute, the way she's practically a grown woman with her own kid but she's so childish with her parents. Overall, everything is pretty consistent.
The whole concept of the how we met story is pretty used nowadays and I would like to see some more creativity when it comes the storytelling aspect. I've been stuck in an airport before
I understand that this is a one shot but it is moving a bit too quickly and I think you should try slowing it down by dragging out scenes with more detail.
There are very minor capitalization errors so just be aware of that.
Not really seeing paragraphs, just one or two liners.
Upvotes: 0
Subs: 32
Views: 286
Comment(s): 2
The story in general could use more publicity but at least you took the time to reply to your readers. I'd say with the amount of views to subs ratio is pretty average.
It's really cute a fluffy and overall a very enjoyable fic to read :)
J'aime la français, c'est un jolie langue. Puis je juste ne cette section en français, s'il vous plaît? Lol, désolé. Je vais le faire quand même, j'adore le titre tellement il est vraiment mignon chose et je peux voir d'où ça vient. (Love the title so much, I can see where it's coming from in the story as well)
Description, foreword & tags. 10/10.
I never know what to say for these sections, everything's good and I like how you included the storm as a character.
Appearance: graphics. -/5, display. 5/5
There isn't anything to comment on for graphics, and I won't take points because you simply didn't want to decorate.
Characterisation. 10/10
Sarae's really cute, the way she's practically a grown woman with her own kid but she's so childish with her parents. Overall, everything is pretty consistent.
Plot. 17/20
The whole concept of the how we met story is pretty used nowadays and I would like to see some more creativity when it comes the storytelling aspect. I've been stuck in an airport before
Consistency/flow. 8/10
I understand that this is a one shot but it is moving a bit too quickly and I think you should try slowing it down by dragging out scenes with more detail.
Grammar, spelling & punctuation. 14/15
There are very minor capitalization errors so just be aware of that.
Structure. 3/5
Not really seeing paragraphs, just one or two liners.
Readers' response. 3/5
Upvotes: 0
Subs: 32
Views: 286
Comment(s): 2
The story in general could use more publicity but at least you took the time to reply to your readers. I'd say with the amount of views to subs ratio is pretty average.
Overall enjoyment. 8/10
It's really cute a fluffy and overall a very enjoyable fic to read :)
TOTAL GRADE. 83/95
Date requested. 23/04/16
Date completed. 04/05/16
Reviewer. Li (Jaeger_104)
Reminder. Please remember to comment when you have picked up. Please also credit the shop AS WELL AS the reviewer. If there are any problems, please contact the owner or the reviewer via PM.
Date completed. 04/05/16
Reviewer. Li (Jaeger_104)
Reminder. Please remember to comment when you have picked up. Please also credit the shop AS WELL AS the reviewer. If there are any problems, please contact the owner or the reviewer via PM.
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