>> Voiceless Scream
Heart, Mind & Seoul Reviews Archive
VOICELESS SCREAM
BY KangminBread
BY KangminBread
CHARACTERS. Kangin and Sungmin
STATUS. Completed
DESCRIPTION.
To hold the hands of someone he loves. To feel the soft touch of lips on his. To receive the warmth of an embrace. To know the pleasure of intimacy. He believed he was unworthy of any of that. Nobody would want someone that had already been abandoned. He had no reason to believe in love. He could only voicelessly scream in fear every time someone touched him.
Story title. 5/5
It's one of those types of titles that starts with giving you a chill in your spine. In the mature section, with a trigger-warning as well, it'll draw a reader in.
The description and foreword are good, I don't really have much to say. The description really gives a feel of the romance while the foreword gives a good description of the darker psychological side.
The dark theme makes it fit in so well with your psychological plot. It always has that gothic vibe because of the flowers on the edge to give that bit of romance.
Kyuhyun's my favorite, oh! It's so amazing, how serious he is, then goes back to being a cutie maknae in the ending scene... Sungmin and Youngwoon also both are displayed well. They resemble Jason Todd and Tim Drake to me, minus the whole killing part... That's more like the first scene when Sungmin first tries to leave. Anyway, in the end of the fighting, the Jason Todd starts to depend on Tim Drake as an emotional support and to keep him in track.
Kidnapping and is sadly a thing that does happen in the real world, people for some reason always rule it out as unrealistic. It makes sense though for someone to suffer from Youngwoon's phobia of being touched after being . It's nice to him on the road of recovery.
In my opinion, it's a bit fast moving. Maybe if you were to point out the time intervals a bit more then it would be easier to figure out exactly how long it was taking Sungmin to take Youngwoon.
The grammar, spelling and punctuation are all good, the only thing I am concerned of are the lengthy sentences, Try breaking them apart or taking words out.
Yep. good paragraphs.
Upvote: 9
Subs: 42
Views: 528
Comment(s): 35
You still respond super well to comments, you deserve so much more credit for your wrokout. Try putting it out there with an ad shop or fake updates.
I really do love your story, I really do, the only reason I didn't give it an upvote is because I'm not to fond of the ending, it's a splurge of information and I found it to be a little sloppy.
It's one of those types of titles that starts with giving you a chill in your spine. In the mature section, with a trigger-warning as well, it'll draw a reader in.
Description, foreword & tags. 10/10.
The description and foreword are good, I don't really have much to say. The description really gives a feel of the romance while the foreword gives a good description of the darker psychological side.
Appearance: graphics. 5/5, display. 5/5
The dark theme makes it fit in so well with your psychological plot. It always has that gothic vibe because of the flowers on the edge to give that bit of romance.
Characterisation. 10/10
Kyuhyun's my favorite, oh! It's so amazing, how serious he is, then goes back to being a cutie maknae in the ending scene... Sungmin and Youngwoon also both are displayed well. They resemble Jason Todd and Tim Drake to me, minus the whole killing part... That's more like the first scene when Sungmin first tries to leave. Anyway, in the end of the fighting, the Jason Todd starts to depend on Tim Drake as an emotional support and to keep him in track.
Plot. 20/20
Kidnapping and is sadly a thing that does happen in the real world, people for some reason always rule it out as unrealistic. It makes sense though for someone to suffer from Youngwoon's phobia of being touched after being . It's nice to him on the road of recovery.
Consistency/flow. 8/10
In my opinion, it's a bit fast moving. Maybe if you were to point out the time intervals a bit more then it would be easier to figure out exactly how long it was taking Sungmin to take Youngwoon.
Grammar, spelling & punctuation. 13/15
The grammar, spelling and punctuation are all good, the only thing I am concerned of are the lengthy sentences, Try breaking them apart or taking words out.
Structure. 5/5
Yep. good paragraphs.
Readers' response. 2/5
Upvote: 9
Subs: 42
Views: 528
Comment(s): 35
You still respond super well to comments, you deserve so much more credit for your wrokout. Try putting it out there with an ad shop or fake updates.
Overall enjoyment. 8/10
I really do love your story, I really do, the only reason I didn't give it an upvote is because I'm not to fond of the ending, it's a splurge of information and I found it to be a little sloppy.
TOTAL GRADE. 91/100
Date requested. 10/04/16
Date completed. 24/04/16
Reviewer. Li (Jaeger_104)
Reminder. Please remember to comment when you have picked up. Please also credit the shop AS WELL AS the reviewer. If there are any problems, please contact the owner or the reviewer via PM.
Date completed. 24/04/16
Reviewer. Li (Jaeger_104)
Reminder. Please remember to comment when you have picked up. Please also credit the shop AS WELL AS the reviewer. If there are any problems, please contact the owner or the reviewer via PM.
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