For someone who'd just gotten into bed--at three in the morning, no less--you'd think Kim Jonghyun would be turning his cell phone ring off rather than on. For a musician, you'd think he'd have a better ringtone than the generic one.  It hardly mattered to him, though, as he only turned it on for alarm purposes.  

He certainly wasn't meaning to take a call from one Lee Taemin at this hour.  There were few reasons for his younger to be calling at this hour, and all the reasons he could imagine must have been pressing to some level.  As the name blinked lazily on his screen, Jonghyun knew it was only in his fond and insomniatic nature for him to answer, and so he gave in to himself by sliding his thumb across the screen to pick up and tend to his friend.

"Hello?" he said calmly, not wanting to jump to conclusions just yet.

"Jonghyun-hyung?"  Taemin's voice came in a hoarse whine.  

He was drunk, Jonghyun assumed, meaning this phone call was less pressing than expected and certainly didn't warrant any catastrophic assumptions.

"Yeah?  Taemin, where are you?"  he said, giving the standard safety check.  Jonghyun wasn't too concerned at this point, and so he draped an arm lazily over his eyes as he got comfortable in bed again.

"Where are you?" Taemin asked, Jonghyun's opposite as he seemed to escalate more.

Jonghyun sighed, a laughing following his dejected exhale.  "I asked first."

"I don't know!  The club!  Where are you?" Taemin asked again, comically belligerent.  This poor kid hardly ever drank, and it was obvious now that this was with good reason.

"I'm in bed," the older finally relented tiredly.  "Like I should be. Especially at 3 in the morning. Especially after a long day of work."

"--oh," Taemin said this like a gust of air was knocked out of him.  "Oh, okay.  So you're alive?"

At the peculiar question, Jonghyun slowly uncovered his eyes.  Maybe that'd better help him ascertain what hell was going on.

". . .yes.  I am alive.  Why wouldn't I be?"

Taemin's voice was barely a whisper.

"I think I killed somebody."  

". . . aaand did you think that somebody was me?"  Jonghyun suspected he was supposed to be afraid of this confession, but the situation felt far too ridiculous to be taken seriously.  

"Yes--no?"  Taemin's words were a slurry jumble of drunken whimpers.  "Maybe.  I don't know."

"If you thought you killed me, why would you call me, your 'victim?'" Jonghyun asked pointedly.

"To make sure?" Taemin whispered with little confidence in his voice.

"Right."  Jonghyun rubbed his chin.  "So why did you still think I was dead when I'd already answered the phone?"

"Ghost phones."

Blinking blankly at the ceiling, Jonghyun decided it was best not to gratify that with a response.

"Okay, Taemin," he began again, "why do you think you killed someone?"

"Because I don't remember where I put you all!"

"Who is 'you all'?"

"SHINee!"  Taemin sounded quite exasperated by this point.

"What do you mean where you put us?  How could you have killed someone if you can't even remember who it was you killed?  You don't even remember where your victims are!"

Logic was clearly not on Taemin's list of things to experiment with for the evening.  Rather, he answered with alcohol dripping from his words.  "My hands are all red!  Everything is red!"

"Are you sure it's not just the club lights?"  

When he listened carefully, Jonghyun could hear the heavy pulse of the bass that was no doubt accompanied by an obnoxious laser show.  Somewhere in the club, no doubt, were Taemin's friends, maybe some of the other members, exactly where Taemin had last "put" them.  With some basic deducing, Jonghyun felt answer to his questioned seemed obvious.  But there was no immediate response from the other line.

After a punctuated silence, a dramatic whisper: "I think I'm dangerous."

Jonghyun gave a soft laugh of surprise, shaking his head.  Any time Taemin exasperated him, the feeling was quickly remedied by his natural cuteness.  Rolling over in his sheets, Jonghyun curled in on his side, cringing with affection.

"Yes, Taeminnie.  You are the most dangerous maknae I know."

"I know, right?" Taemin replied, maybe eagerly.

Jonghyun hummed a "mhmm," back.

As the elder fell into a cozy lull, comforted by cuteness, the younger took the silence as an opportunity to return to his dark and drunken suspicions of himself.  

"I got Jinki-hyung to come out with me tonight. Finally."

"Ah."  

"Yes. And when I last saw Jinki-hyung, we were dancing.  And I had my arms around his neck--he was all red too.  Everything was red.  The lights were flashing.  It was like a Hitchcock film."

"Huh.  That is an excellent reference for a drunken man," Jonghyun noted, amused.

Taemin pressed on, ignoring the aside.  "I remember my pulse was very high whenever I could feel him breathing,"

"Ooh," Jonghyun's lips curled up, "is this going to be one of those talks?"

Taemin ignored him again.  "He was all red.  Then I don't remember where he went."

"Maybe he went pee," the hung answered quite easily.  "You know how he is.  Even at home, once Jinki breaks the seal he goes almost every five minutes."

"Or--or maybe he died."

"In the last ten minutes?"

"Death is very quick."  Well then.  Who could argue with that truth?

With patience surprising even himself, Jonghyun offered another logical suggestion.  "I think he went pee.  And I don't think death had enough reason to come for the poor man as he peed."

"--And that's why I think it was me!" Taemin insisted with frightened fervor.  "Maybe I choked him!  Or smashed a bottle against his neck--"

"--Taem--"

"-or used the baby sword in my lemon wedge!  You know, hyung, the ones that come with those pineapple upside down cocktails I love?--"

"--Taeminnie, breathe!--"

"--Maybe I took the tiny little baby toothpick sword and gave him a thousand tiny little baby stabs!  O-or maybe!--"

"--Please--"

"Shush!  Maybe!  Maybe! I pushed my fingers through his jugular, more than enough to bruise--like super human strength crushing that bulging, sweet, but oh so fragile adam's apple--"

"What?!" Jonghyun yelped  "What the , Taemin?"  He sat up and pushed his hair from his face, eyes large with incredulity.

"...I am a very dangerous maknae," Taemin replied gravely.  Jonghyun wasn't sure what to say; he was almost certain Taemin hadn't killed Jinki--what reason was there?  It made no sense!  But this phone call had gone from ridiculously cute  to unsettlingly ridiculous in a matter of minutes.  

There was a hiccup, and a sniffle.  His voice came out watery, "where is Onew-hyung?"

The heart that had seized in shock began to soften.  Jonghyun hypothetically wondered how far he'd go for this small and frightened babe, given his suspicions proved true.  

"Where is Onew-hyung?!" Taemin demanded again helplessly.  "Where is Jinki?!  Am I a dangerous maknae?!"

"Taemin--breathe--calm down--you're drunk!" Jonghyun yelped, his giggles fighting with his concern.

"I know I am!  I could only do such a horrible thing if I was drunk!"

"--you didn't do anything--I think--just breathe!"

"I'm not myself!"

"You're perfect, Taeminnie, just calm down--"

"--I'm going to need bleach!  I have to clean it up--.  There are so many people here."

"Well i's a club, Taemin."

"It's all red!"

"It's alright!"

"No! Too many witnesses!" Taemin whispered unsteadily.  "They probably saw me with my tiny baby lemon wedge sword."   Jonghyun could imagine Taemin's eyes widen at the realization of whatever ridiculous thing he was imagining that meant.

"They didn't.  No one witnessed anything, Taemin!" Jonghyun began slowly, trying to nip this thought in the bud.  

"I have to go into hiding."

Jonghyun scrubbed his face and swung his legs over the side of his bed, making to get dressed.  "Here--Taemin, do you want me to come get you?"  

"I have to go.  W-will you come with me, if I go into hiding?"

"Me?" Jonghyun asked, trying to keep up with this escalation.  He stuffed his head through the neck of his shirt

There was silence again.  Fully changed, Jonghyun sat back down, awaiting further instructions and saying nothing in case Taemin was trying to gather himself together.  

After maybe three whole minutes of silence, Jonghyun made a noise of impatience.  "Taemin, me?  Do you need me to--"

"--Not you.  Jinki-hyung" Taemin replied suddenly--and with far too much sass for someone who was already on thin ice for calling at 3:00 AM.

Jonghyun was not having this.  "I thought he was dead, Taemin."

"No, no.  Silly hyung, he's right here.  He just went pee," Taemin replied, his voice light.

The sound of shuffling came on the phone; Taemin's laugh could be heard distantly.  It was a nice, airy laugh that felt relieving to hear after such a stressful (and unnecessary) conversation.  Following it closely was Jinki's laugh as he gently reminded Taemin to drink some water.  They'd be heading out soon.  Jonghyun stayed on the phone, wanting to make sure everything was sorted.

"Hello?" came Jinki's voice after a beat.

"How could you let our Taeminnie drink so much!"

"I didn't let him, he just did!"  Jinki's voice was light but strong, making Jonghyun assume he was sober.

"He thought he killed you," Jonghyun explained with a sigh, flopping back onto his bed.

"Ah--" There was another warm laugh; Jonghyun could distinctly envision Jinki ruffling their Taemin's hair.  "It's probably because I called him a killer dancer."

"He seemed to have forgotten that detail," Jonghyun noted with an amused hum.  "He'll probably forget most of this by morning, as funny as it was."

"You'll have to recount the whole story to us at breakfast tomorrow."

Jonghyun's eyebrow quirked coyly.  "Oh, really? Will I be waking to breakfast with you both?"

Jinki's voice was sweet as he edged into his request.  "If you come pick us uuup. . . you can see us as early as you'd like!"

They both laughed warmly, not even bothering to pretend to be bothered at this point.  Jinki didn't mean to take advantage of his warm-hearted love, but he hardly ever want out any way.  After such a tiring evening it only felt right to end it together.  Jonghyun's sleep could wait for now, as well, especially knowing how much more comfortable it could be once he had both these boys cuddled up and safe with him.  

"You'll be the one cooking tomorrow morning, right?" Jonghyun asked.  All he needed were his keys and he was out the door.

"Of course," Jinki replied easily.  

"I'm on my way, then."

Jinki's voice became distant as he began leading Taemin outside, letting him know Jonghyun was on his way.  Taemin could be heard in the background, asking for blood sausages for breakfast in the morning.  Jonghyun chuckled at the morbid choice, given the evening's antics.

As he got in the car, he hesitated to hang up the phone.  In fifteen minute's time, they'd be safely loaded in his car, but Jonghyun still was skeptical about how much trouble their dangerous Taeminnie could make in just fifteen minutes.  He'd have to trust Jinki to take care of him.

"Hey, Jinki?" Jonghyun began, his finger hovering just above the 'end' button, "one more thing?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell Taemin if he throws up in my car, I'll kill him."