Byunghun's glare softened and wavered as he started panting heavily , his sudden outburst finally taking a toll on him . 

It felt like all of the effort he'd exerted ever since he woke up has suddenly gathered and accumulated wanting to descend on him like dead weight . His legs nearly gave out and it was only thanks to the counter he was leaning on that he didn't drop to his knees right then and there . 

Though admittedly , that wasn't the only reason he couldn't breathe steadily . They were already too close , gazing at each other with so many conflicted emotions but it didn't seem close enough to Chanhee as he shrank what little distance they had and whispered calmly , his breathing hot and impossibly near , tickling the younger more than he cared to admit .

" When you imply I was only after your body , it's like saying you are a . " It seemed like , with each word , the elder drew even closer but not enough to break eye-contact . He could already tell  his beloved was having a  hard time processing those words due to many reasons , the  sudden shift in the atmosphere caused by their proximity , the power his gaze had on him , the words themselves . 

To anyone witnessing such scene , they'd think of his words as an offense when it wasn't . Byunghun's suggestion carried in its folds an accusation directed at Chanhee and an indirect insult to the younger himself . And the reddish brown haired male just wanted to guide his lover to that conclusion .

After all , the only person you'd end up leaving if they can't offer their body is a because that's their purpose . If they can't serve it , then why would you bother staying ? That suggestion had accused Chanhee of being a heartless ert who would just stay with someone because of their body and it also revealed how little Byunghun viewed himself , his worth . Was he just a figure made for pleasure ? Was that the only thing Chanhee loved in him so that when he couldn't offer it anymore , the elder would leave him ?

No . Chanhee inwardly denied . Byunghun was so much more than that . He had the heart of a saint , the innocence of a child , and a smile that could brighten the entire universe . It was truly a shame he couldn't see how much beauty he had deep within his essence . No matter . Chanhee was determined to make him see it .  

Snapping back to the real world and after receiving no answer, the elder sighed and resorted to handling it all by himself 

" Are you ? " 

Stunned beyond belief , Byunghun tried to ignore how that question affected him but it was difficult especially when Chanhee seemed to have pinned him in place with just a gaze . And instead of getting offended , he found himself answering with a shake of his head .

Chanhee could only smile at that . Byunghun was finally surrendering to reason instead of assumptions and delusions . 

Deeming it good enough , the elder persisted " Do you think I would view my lover as one ? "

His voice was incredibly gentle soft and soothing but his intention was that of a lover  scolding his beloved for doubting their love . It was thoroughly overwhelming . so much that Byunghun shook his head once more , ashamed at how childish and irrational he'd acted . And suddenly he couldn't bear to meet the elder's eyes so he moved his own gaze to the ground .

Lifting the younger's chin up , Chanhee gently demanded 

" then why did you say that ? " 

However , that gentle treatment in itself would be the death of a certain someone . 

Byunghun , too nervous at their sudden proximity , felt his face heat up and ended up stuttering the answer

" I .. Can't give you intimacy .. I can't go on dates with yo- " 

" that's partially because of work consuming most of my time . " Interrupted Chanhee , defending his beloved and proving him wrong once more , only to have the said cling to his own theory . 

" Still ! I can't offer you what a lover can . " The younger nearly gasped the words out . Nothing could ever describe how much it pained him to admit that . He felt insecure , useless and incompetent . there was really nothing he could do aside from staying in bed exerting minimal to no effort . It hurt him immensely that he couldn't make the one person he cherished , happy . He couldn't give him anything , not a child nor intimacy . He couldn't give him the thrill of  adventure . He couldn't prepare a romantic surprise for him , not even a simple dinner with roses scattered around the house . He couldn't go out alone and buy him something . He couldn't stand winter nor summer . he couldn't even give him peace of mind because of his deteriorating health state . 

He just .. couldn't . No matter how much he wanted .

" shhh , Byunghun . Every time you talk , you end up straying away from the truth . " Chanhee placed his index on the younger's lips as he inched closer , dangerously close - approaching a boundary he'd set for himself before - . 

" You can . " The elder argued when deep inside he knew  his lover was right but he wanted to comfort him so much that he was ready to call white black , he was ready to pretend . He wanted to convince himself that Byunghun could handle some intimacy if they were to take it a step further . 

Chanhee 's hands were shaking in fear as they rose to cup the younger's face . he was scared the very moment he'd touch the him , the younger's  heartbeat and breathing would accelerate to a life threatening extent .  

Byunghun though , could only raise his hands in a hesitant manner , unsure of what to do with them . He'd been yearning for Chanhee's touch for so long that when it finally happened , he didn't know what to do .  

The younger was practically shivering in anticipation and fear . he felt like his heart would leap out of his chest any moment now . He could feel  the adrenaline rush , so exhilarating and powerful . Chanhee's affection was killing him softly . Nonetheless , If his heart stopped now , he wouldn't regret this . 

Inch by inch , they got closer , both shaking and sweating before anything could even happen and Byunghun could swear his heart stopped when Chanhee finally got rid of any distance between them and flower-soft lips met his in an electrifying force , the briefest of kisses the world has ever known .

Eyes trembled shut , bodies pressed closer and hands wound around waists and necks as the young lovers explored each other's warmth after a very long time they almost forgot how amazing it felt . Chanhee wa trembling with desire , he couldn't deny that a iny part in him wanted to go all the way , unrestrained and needy even if he was gonna be a little rough  . but he knew he couldn't . Byunghun may not survive even a tender touch . Truthfully speaking , he couldn't blame him . Everything in him was tingling , this close to shattering from the raw need , the emotions , the sensations .

Byunghun was the very definition of sinful temptation , his lips were beautifully soft and inviting pulling Chanhee deeper with each passing second . His touch , his delicate hand on the elder's chest never pushing him away yet still innocently leaning there and it was literally driving Chanhee mad . 

The brief and silk-like kiss soon changed into a passionate one that spoke of years and years of starvation , still it was slow and agonizingly full of emotions that Byunghun could barely think straight . And no matter how much he wanted to proceed , he was one to break the kiss , taking in a mouthful of oxygen as he dropped his head on the elder's shoulder , his fragile body unable to support such unexpected assault of sensations .

" Don't go fainting on me , Byunghun . " Chanhee spoke up in concern and the younger could hear the smile in those words even if he couldn't see it . He let out a weak chuckle in response , still in the process of calming himself down . 

1502 words updated 3 April , 2017 

Throwback to Mblaq seungho dancing with the stars ( killing me softly performance )

One-scened chapters seem to have become my talent these days LOL . Is that even a talent ?

Any ways .. 

Do you think Chanhee may , in a moment of lust , get carried away ? Will Byunghun's heart be able to take it ?