chapter 4. 

finding the light

To think that Wendy should have known from the start.

Or maybe she did know.

At times, she didn’t know who was better at pretending, herself or the man that had become her husband, Mark Tuan.

She had first Mark at one of the gala dinner their parents had forced them to attend. It was a meeting that they had never planned yet happened anyway. Wendy was surprised to see the young man who was made to sit right in front of her.

He had smooth alabaster skin that was only interrupted by the landscape of his beautiful bone structure. He had those dark eyes that had the same depths of a bottomless pool that she could drown in. When he smiled, she thought her heart had stopped right there and then. He then calmly introduced himself.

“I’m Mark Tuan.”

They had met at 16, and Mark had finally asked her father’s permission to date her at 20. From that moment on she knew instantly Mark Tuan was going to be a big part in her life.

~

She was first introduced to Mark’s shadow on one cold day when Jinyoung had picked them up after school. Jinyoung politely introduced himself with a warm smiled and had even told her she was beautiful in a language that he barely spoke. But it made Wendy turned pink at the compliment still.

Jinyoung tried his best to fit in between her and Mark. Although he was mostly quiet at first, he tried so hard to understand and jumped into their conversations even though it meant that he would have to learn a whole new language. Once Jinyoung was good enough and comfortable in speaking, he wouldn’t stop talking. He was the mood maker among them, which Wendy was quite thankful for because both her and Mark were the quiet type. Jinyoung would laughed at all the right places, and told all the right stories.

Wendy had become quite fond of Jinyoung. She decided that Jinyoung was a good friend to have both her and Mark’s life.

~

Wendy always had a certain imagination of how her own wedding night was going to be.

Sure she wasn’t inexperienced, she and Mark had done it before. But she always thought that on their wedding it was going to be different. Because it would be their first time as husband and wife, with someone they love and was going to spend the rest of their lifes with.

It was foolish to think that just because their wedding was grand and lavish like the ones that only happened in movies and fairytale, that the first night with Mark, her new husband, would be similar to those scenes in the movies. Once they had entered their room she could tell right away that between the two of them. Instead of being loving and smiling, Mark had been somewhat aggravated.

Sure, Mark was attentive to her needs, like he always was when they laid in bed. He touched her and kissed her in all the right ways, but none of those things tasted of love. Instead, his caring felt more like the type you would give to a pet dog.

When he slid into her with a soft grunt, she gave her answering quick cry of pain, the deep enwrapping pulsing heat of their bodies moving. He had stared at her so intently when he was on top of her, that she had found it unnerving and had to turn her face away from it. When their eyes finally met again, it felt like as if Mark was seeing past her. Like he was imagining somebody else instead of her. It was as if she wasn’t even there at all.

~

Mark changed a lot after they got married.

He was no longer the same man that was sweet and caring that used to date Wendy. He was no longer the same man that would whisper sweet nothings just to make her happy. He was cold and would ignore Wendy for the longest time. He was harsh in tone whenever he spoke to her.

“Did you have a good day today, Mark?” she had asked. She put down a cup of tea that she had made him on the table and sat down.

“It was okay,” Mark had grunted as he began untying the knots of his tie.

“Busy day at work?”

She was replied with a humm. Mark was busy taking of his tie that was soon followed by taking of his suit and shoes before disappearing into their bathroom. Not once did he turned to face her.

But those harsh tone would soon turned into a spinning words of melted butter whenever Jinyoung suddenly walked into the room.

She thought it was just a coincidence at first. That it was just Mark having a bad day and venting off at his wife. But it happened quite a lot.

It confused Wendy at first. But then she noticed it happened a often.

The sudden changed in Mark’s behaviour when it comes to Jinyoung.

How her husband took no more notice of her daily habits than he would a stranger, but always knew where Jinyoung was. Down to the exact moment where the man would walk through the door. How Mark would barely look at her beauty anymore but would stare at Jinyoung for hours as if he needed to imprint the image in his mind. How Mark would heed no mind when Wendy would leave, but closed his eyes when Jinyoung left his presence, shuttering the yearning he had for him from the world.

Watching Jinyoung and her husband was like watching two brothers of the same soul speak.

It felt like, stretched out between the two of them was a great big rope that was pulled too taut that wrapped around their bodies. If one of them moved forward too quickly, or if one of them stepped back too quickly, the rope would pull and pull until it broke one of them.

She couldn’t understand. And it began to frustrate her.

When she couldn’t contain her curiousity anymore, she decided to ask her brother in law.

“Yugyeom,” she had called him as she spotted him in one of the corridors early that moring, with another young boy trotting behind him. “What is Jinyoung to Mark?”

Yugyeom lowered his gaze to meet hers. His usual warm smile suddenly changed into a cold glare that was like an icy tundra. He remained silent for awhile before giving her the answer. “He is Mark’s everything.” Without another word, Yugyeom had left her standing alone as he went along his ways with the boy following in the shadows still.

~

It wasn’t until the colors on the leaf turned reddish brown and fall one by one to the ground when Seulgi finally understand what Yugyeom had meant.

Mark was in love with Jinyoung.

Although what she had intrepeted the situation was that Mark had an unconditional, brotherly love towards Jinyoung, While Jinyoung had taken it into his advantage, playing his master under his fingers, and used Mark’s brotherly love for his own purposes.

How dare he to put a taint on Mark’s brotherly love for his own erted feelings?

Wendy then felt the need to put a stop to it. She stopped to talking to Jinyoung, she had requested that Jinyoung was never to be in the same room when she was around, and she refused any kindness the man had to offered. Jinyoung was confused, while Mark was exasperated.

~

Jinyoung was sitting in the garden by the flower beds, minding to himself as he tried to soothe his back, when Wendy suddenly approached him. He was smiling and was about to greet her when suddenly her hand met with his cheek. Jinyoung was stunned by her action. But he kept silent.

She was his master’s wife. She was alowed to do whatever she wanted to.

Wendy then continued her ways by telling Jinyoung to mind his place. That he was a piece of trash and would die in dark alleys if Mark hadn’t been kind enough to take him in. She also told him to never get close to Mark ever again.

Jinyoung was shocked. Where was this coming from?

But as he always does, Jinyoung just smiled courtly at her, even though tears were threathening to fall from his eyes. “I understand,” he said, even though his throat felt tight. He bowed at her and ten quickly left her sight.

Leaving Wendy feeling proud at herself.

Yugyeom saw it happened. Of course he saw it happened. He had been watching the scene silently from afar. He waited until Jinyoung disappered through the door to the servant’s quarters before rushing towards his sister-in-law. He grabbed her wrist forcefully, “What do you think you are doing?!” he hissed.

“I am trying to protect my husband,” she replied proudly.

The grip on her wrist tighten, she was sure a bruise would form if Yugyeom clench her wrist any tighter. “You are protecting my brother from Jinyoung?” this time he really did screamed at her, not caring for a single bit about her status as his sister-in-law. “Jinyoung-hyung is like air to my brother. He’s everything to Mark. How are you protecting my brother when you take away his air from him?! You are letting both of them die in a very slow, painful death. You don’t understand,-“

“What don’t I understand?” Wendy challenged him.

Yugyeom clenched his teeth, “Have you ever wondered why Jinyoung-hyung always wear dark clothing even during the hottest day of Summer? Have you ever wonder what it is he might be hiding under those dark fabrics?” he gritted out. “There are scars, marks, all over his back just because your perfect husband couldn’t keep his inside his pants.”

“W,what are you talking about...?”

“You don’t know anything, so stop acting like you do,” the younger boy spat before walking away from her.

~

Yugyeom was more disgusted than surprised when he met her eyes across the dark chamber. Her presence now irked him. Most of all, she wasn’t supposed to be there. “Father, what is she doing here?” he had asked politely.

“She wanted to know.”

Jinyoung soon entered the room and quickly walked where he was usually hung. He had known the ritual by now. Even if this time he had no idea why he was being summoned for another punishment. As his hands were being tied, Jinyoung looked up.

He was shocked by the view of Wendy being there, sitting across him right next to Master Tuan. Jinyoung tried to keep a straight face like he always did. Lowering his gaze, he braced himself as he soon felt the leather once again ripping his skin apart.

~

“Jinyoung...” Wendy approached her again the very next day.

The man stopped walking and graced her with yet another smile. “Yes, Wendy-ssi?”

“Why are you still here? Why do you put up with this? They are torturing you here. You should leave this place while you can. Why won’t you leave?”

Jinyoung’s smile faltered. His dark brown eyes suddenly turned dull and sad. “You know perfectly why I can’t leave...” he answered. “If I leave, who is going to take care you? Who’s going to take care of Yugyeom?” he asked back. “Who’s going to take care of Mark?” he whispered, hoping that it was inaudible to Wendy’s ears. But she heard it.

And she finally understands everything.

~

It wasn’t that Mark hated Wendy.

It was just bothered by her presence. Because she was a constant reminder that Mark could never have Jinyoung. Because he had pledged himself and was forever to be tied to Wendy. His wife. Sometimes he felt sorry for his wife. He loved her, in a different way. Maybe somewhere deep inside Mark still cared about her. But it still didn’t stop him from always lashing off at her.

Mark had just gotten home from work. He had meetings all day and he was extremely tired. As soon as he entered his room, the one he shared with his wife, he slumped on the nearest chair. Wendy suddenly approached him and handed him a stack of paper. “What’s this?” Mark frowned, not taking a second glance at her.

“Our divorce paper.”

Mark froze. He finally turned to face her. After months since their wedding day, he finally stared at her straight into her eyes. “Why?” was all that could come out of his mouth.

“Because none of us deserve this,” Wendy replied. She handed him a single black pen, pointing at the parts where he should sign. Which Mark did without a second doubt. “I don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve this... Jinyoung don’t deserve this.” Mark stopped as his arm felt like it lost its will to move. Mark felt his soul left from his body the minute Jinyoung’s name came out from his wife’s lips. “You love him, don’t you?”

“I...”

“He loves you too,” Wendy told her husband. Well, ex-husband now. “He loves you very much, Mark.” There was a sound of pen being dropped onto the floor and Mark was already gone through the door. Wendy smiled sadly, but she knew she had to let him go.

Mark sprinted down the stairs and searched the whole compound for the man that he loved. The man that knew now loved him back. He searched everywhere before he stopped at the kitchen. Where Jinyoung always was, chatting with his fellow servants and maids.

When Jinyoung finally noticed his presence, he turned around and stood up. He was about to bow at his master before the man pulled him close to his embrace.

“I’m done Jinyoung,” was the first thing Mark said. “I can’t pretend anymore. I love you, Jinyoung. Only YOU. No one else.” He grabbed onto Jinyoung’s shoulders and clashed his mouth Jinyoung’s plump ones. There were a collective gasps from the servants and maids, but he didn’t care anymore who was watching. He just kiss Jinyoung as if he would never stop. “Let’s go. Let’s leave this place...”

“But, Mark, where...?”

“I don’t know, but let’s just go.”

Without another word, Mark had led him out of the kitchen. And soon through the gates and out of the house. The other servants had ran after them and tried to stopped them. But both Yugyeom and head butler Im stopped them.

They both had caught a glimpse of Jinyoung’s face. Wet from tears that he had never once shed inside the dark chambers yet he never looked so happy. As if he were glowing. “Let them go,” Yugyeom told them with a sad smile. Because from those tears Jinyoung shed, a promise could be born.

~

It wasn’t until a year later did Yugyeom finally received any news from his older brother and Jinyoung.

A letter without any return address was put on his desk by head butler Im. Yugyeom looked confused at first but head butler Im just gave him a knowing smile. Without wasting any time, he ripped the envelope open.

Inside was a picture.

A picture of Mark and Jinyoung sitting on the beach with the vast blue of sea behind them. Mark had his arm posessively around Jinyoung’s waist. They were squinting their eyes as they smile because the sun was high-up. They looked happy, and Yugyeom was glad to know.

Jinyoung was finally free and had found his happiness.

He was no longer standing in the shadows. 

** OMG IT'S FINALLY DONE. Thank you so much for people who have been upvoting, subscribing, viewing, and commenting to this story. I'm really new to writing markjin so i was scared of the response at first. but thankyou for being so kind to me! until next fanfic <3

-seoksoo92